Chapter 20
“Well, it didn’t work, if that makes you feel any better,” Devon offers after a few seconds of silence hangs in the air. “Injecting other hunters with your blood didn’t give them powers.”
I let out a strained laugh. “Right. Magic…magic doesn’t work that way. You’re born with it.”
“Or maybe it’s Maybelline.”
“You are so lame,” I say, laughing again but this time it’s real. Devon playfully elbows me.
“Hey, it got a little giggle out of you at least.”
“It did. This….this is so fucked up.” I shake my head.
“It really is.” He slowly inhales and twists his body to look at me. “I’m really sorry, Wren. What they did was more than just twisted. It violated you.”
“Big time.”
“I can only imagine how you’re feeling. I don’t know what I can offer other than support, but I’m here.”
Our eyes meet and my heart flutters in my chest and I push back the urge to cry.
We were taught that crying is a sign of weakness, but I always knew it was wrong.
Hiding your feelings is the real weakness.
Being able to deal with shame, guilt, and disappointment in a normal, human way takes strength.
“I thought they saved me,” I finally say after a moment of sitting in stunned silence. “I believed everything they told me.” I push my damp hair back over and shiver. Devon tightens the blanket back around my shoulders and lets one hand linger on my forearm. “I thought they cared.”
“Maybe they do care.”
“Hello, look at where I am.”
“Oh, shit, right.” He looks away, eyes darting around the room as he talks. “Just because they had nefarious reasons in the beginning doesn’t mean they never grew to care about you. It seems it became pretty clear when you were only sixteen that there was no way to bioengineer magic.”
“Yeah,” I say, not really letting myself agree or disagree.
Normally, in a situation like this, I’d rely on my training to stay calm.
I’d disassociate in a way that let me think rationally and not let emotion cloud my judgment.
I was raised like a fucking warrior, robbed at any chance of a normal childhood.
I could be bitter and angry, but that’s not going to change the past.
But no matter what, I can’t stop this gut-wrenching feeling of heartbreak.
“I was useful, though.” I bite my lip and lean forward, scrolling through another page. “I’m a good hunter. Like a really good one.”
“Yeah, you seem pretty lethal,” he chides and looks at his arm where the energy ball hit him.
“Sorry about that. Again.”
“It hurts, but I’m honestly really impressed and intrigued. Obviously, I’ve always known about vampires,” he starts. “And I’ve been told about witches, shifters, and demons. We, uh, just never interacted with them before. What else can you do?”
I just look at him and blink. Once. Twice. “Seriously?”
“Sorry. Right. You’re in the middle of an existential crisis right now.”
“Yeah.” I motion to the computer screen and we both laugh, not because this is funny, but because this is more fucked up than either of us could have imagined. “Let’s see what else is on here.”
I scroll through a few more pages of medical documents that are similar to the rest. The Order was running tests on my blood, seeing if it reacted to different things.
There are very minimal notes about the “test subjects” they injected with my blood.
One had an allergic reaction because she wasn’t the same blood type.
“I don’t understand any of this,” I say when we get to a new folder.
“I don’t either,” Devon says. “It’s some sort of genetic testing. Maybe isolating parts of your DNA?”
“This is the plot for a sci-fi movie. Genetically-altered hunters…nope. Not a good idea.” I scan through the rest of this document, not understanding it at all. My head is spinning and I close the laptop and flop back on the bed.
With a sigh, Devon lays next to me and carefully laces his fingers through mine. “I’ve already said it, but I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. I don’t think it’s fully sunk in yet.” I give his hand a squeeze. “The crazy thing is if I wasn’t here, I wouldn’t have known.”
“Silver lining?”
“I don’t know?” My entire body feels cold, like ice water is running through my veins. Noticing that I’m covered in goosebumps, Devon not so gracefully untucks the comforter and pulls it over me.
“I found out my mother was alive when I was a teenager,” he tells me.
“But she had been held spellbound and had no idea who I was. For a long time, I thought a mother’s love would be enough to break through whatever Xavier or Theo told her, but it wasn’t.
Not for her at least. There is a fifty-fifty chance she never wanted me in the first place.
” He lies down next to me, on the top of the covers.
“That’s the closest I can relate to this.
I kinda wished I never knew she was alive.
It was easier thinking she was dead than knowing she just didn’t want me. ”
“Your situation is fucked up too.”
“We can have a competition later.” He smooths back my hair. “I should go.”
“Yeah. You should. Thanks, Devon,” I say, rolling onto my side to look into his pretty eyes. He’s full of life and has so much potential. “You can leave this messed up family. You told me so yourself.”
“I’ve been thinking about it,” he whispers, voice so low I almost don’t hear it. “I want to stay human.”
* * *
Blinking, I look away from the computer screen and rub my eyes. I’ve read over the medical files three times now and have no better understanding than I did the first time. I don’t know the WiFi password to connect to the internet so I can look up half this stuff, but there’s almost no need.
Vivian or Marco signed off on every single one of these tests.
They knew what was going on and they obviously had no issue with it.
Putting the computer on my nightstand, I lay down and close my eyes.
The sun is going to rise soon, and my sleep schedule is all out of whack.
I’m tired, but I know there’s no way I’m going to easily just drift to sleep now.
Letting out a breath, I get up and pull a bay leaf from my secret stash. I write Antonio’s name on it, hold it between my palms, and bring my hands to my forehead, imagining the park where Xavier and I took those photos last night.
My mind flashes to his large hands on my waist. Nope. That is not the message I want my brother to receive. It takes a lot of forced concentration, but I finally get myself to send a message to Antonio. Time will only tell if he receives it.
I put the leaf under my pillow and get back into bed, closing my eyes and making myself repeat a meditation over and over again.
Finally, I fall asleep and get a few hours of shut eye before I get up.
I dress in workout clothes and pull my hair into a ponytail.
What I said last night is true; I am a good hunter.
And part of being a good hunter means keeping up with training.
A house this size no doubt has a workout room, but it’s not like the vampires need to do cardio to stay in shape or lift weights to be strong.
“Morning, or, uh, evening?” I say to Zeke as I go down the stairs. He’s in the parlor off the foyer, sitting with Mabel. She’s having another tea party.
“Wren!” she coos, looking up from her teacup. It’s not empty today and I know that the red liquid inside isn’t cranberry juice. “Are you going running?”
“I would like to,” I say. “I’m used to being pretty active.”
“And it pays off. Look at that figure!” She wiggles her eyebrows at me. “Can I smell the sunshine on your hair when you get back?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“I miss it.” Mabel closes her eyes and looks up, as if she’s remembering being outside in the sun. “My favorite was when the air was a little chilly but the sun was hot in the fall. Right when you’d start missing the summer heat but then it was much more bearable to be outside.”
“I do like the fall weather,” I say, curiosity growing the more I talk to her. Zeke conveniently looks away. Guilty much?
“You looked beautiful in your photoshoot last night.”
“Thanks. You saw the pictures?”
“Yes, I picked out the best one.”
“Oh, uh, thanks.” I smile and shift my eyes to Zeke. “Is Xavier around?”
“I am,” Xavier answers, zooming into the room.
My breath catches and my heart skips a beat at the sight of him.
My god, he’s a beautiful and scary man. He’s wearing the same thing from last night, minus the jacket, and I notice a few flecks of blood on his collar.
I don’t know what he did or where he went after I came back to the house last night.
He said he had “business to attend to” and I didn’t question.
“Have you had a chance to review the files?”
“Yeah,” I huff, shaking my head. “It’s a lot, so, I, uh…I was hoping to go for a run to clear my head.”
“Outside?”
I start to slowly walk toward the door. “That’s typically where I run. I prefer it over a treadmill. It's a better workout. On a treadmill, you’re just keeping up with a moving surface, not propelling yourself forward.”
“Where are you going?”
“In town. I like to look at the buildings and people as I run. Keeps my mind busy.”
Xavier looks at me as if he’s trying to calculate what’s a normal distance for a human to run. My normal outdoor runs averaged five miles, but I’ve been on longer ones, too.
“I’ll have someone drive you.”
“Fine,” I say, taking what I can get. “And, uh, thanks for the files.”
His face softens, confusing me into thinking he might actually care. “I hope it offers some clarity.”
“It muddied the water but I realized the water was never clear to begin with. I grew up thinking the Order was dedicated to doing the right thing, to making the world a safer place. But drugging me and doing tests on me against my will…” I shake my head.
“I suppose they just wanted to make better hunters.”
“Wren,” he says suddenly, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t make excuses for them.”
“You’re right. I am. They used me, drugged me…kidnapped me.” I inhale as the thought crosses my mind. “What if my parents are alive?”
“They’re not,” he tells me gently.
“But they could be. I wasn’t found hidden in a closet or whatever like Vivian said.”
“Wren,” he repeats, dark blue eyes filling with sorrow. “They’re not alive.”
“You don’t know that.”
Xavier starts to say something but we’re interrupted by Theo, who speeds into the room.
He’s holding someone by the scruff of their collar.
It’s a vampire, and a young one by the energy coming off of it.
Theo is covered in blood—not his own, of course.
He says something to Xavier in another language and Xavier replies by slowly rolling up his sleeves.
That’s when I notice the blood on his cuffs as well as around his fingernails. Something went down last night and honestly, maybe it’s better if I don’t know right now.
“Have the driver take you into town and bring you home. You have three hours.”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” I snap.
“I’m not making you have one,” he says, sounding confused. “It’s far and you’re human.”
“It’s not that far,” I say, but there’s not really a good running path from here to town, to be fair. But now isn’t the time for fairness. “I’m human, but I’m not weak. Humans do triathlons.”
“Are you running, biking, and swimming?”
“Hah,” I retort, trying not to find the smirk on his face charming. “Fine. I’ll have someone drive me.”
“You’re just going to let her go into town?” Ezekiel asks, holding a tiny china teacup with his fingertips.
“Yes,” Xavier tells him. “We have something in common now as well as a mutual understanding.”
The Order. It wasn’t just him wanting to give me clarity. He wants me to hate the Order as much as he does so I’ll want to take them down. But there just has to be an explanation for all this.
There has to be.
“Are you ready?” Xavier asks and I nod. He gives the driver instructions and then I’m off. There’s no traffic slowing us down, so I get into the middle of downtown fairly fast.
“Thanks,” I tell the driver as I get out.
I’m a few blocks away from where I told Antonio to meet, and given the fact that I didn’t really specify a time, I have no idea if he’s there or not.
I walk a block, stretch, and then start my run.
No one is there. I stop, sit, and wait. Going stir crazy, I run around the block again before coming back.
I’m just about to run another block when someone calls my name.
“Tony!” I call and run to my brother.
“Thank God you’re okay.” Antonio throws an arm around me. “I heard about the incident last night at the VC rally.”
“Those hunters got lucky,” I start, hugging my brother back.
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, pulling out of his embrace.
Antonio’s brows go up. “They’re missing. Haven’t checked in since they set out.”
“Oh…wow. Wait, did the Order give them that post?”
“No. They defied orders by doing what they did, which makes me think they tucked their tails and ran, hence the missing status.”
“Yeah, probably.” I force a smile and nod. There’s no way in hell those hunters are missing. My husband doesn’t make empty threats. The hunters tried to hurt me. All three of them are dead.