Chapter 31
Driving past the Zodiac was a stupid idea, and if there’s anything I can fairly criticize about myself, it’s that I don’t think things like this through.
I hoped to see my family, but if I did, then what?
I hadn’t played that tape all the way, and now I’m sitting here, across from my husband, thinking about a man who broke my heart into a million little pieces and just walked away, telling me that I’d be fine.
Yet seeing him in the parking lot hit me in a different way that it had before. I didn’t feel the same longing for Ryder, didn’t feel the abandonment wound triggered as much as it had been before. This time, I felt a deep sadness inside me, but it was for me.
For what I put up with.
I hate that I thought all I deserved was a love where I was kept a secret.
It never felt good knowing that he lied to his parents anytime they asked where he was.
He couldn’t tell them he was with me. We always ran the risk of being seen together, and even though he told me he would proudly hold my hand and confess the truth, there was part of me that wondered if he’d duck away.
And that fucking hurt. No one wants to be kept a secret like that.
It made me feel like the other woman in some ways, though he told me I was the only one.
It’s embarrassing in some ways to think back on it now.
I was fully in love with a man who was too scared to stand up for true love.
He had my heart in his hands and he didn’t have the balls to hold onto it.
The second things got hard, he dropped it, shattering my heart into tiny pieces.
With blood still fresh on his hands, he shrunk to the shadows, desperately seeking approval from his father.
The truth is, no matter what he did, his father wouldn’t have approved anyway.
“Are you all right?” Xavier asks. We’re seated at our table and a bowl of fresh chips has been put in front of me yet I haven’t eaten a single one.
“Yeah. Being here brings up memories.”
“Good and bad?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” I tell him honestly. “It’s a mind fuck to look back at my life knowing what I know now.”
“I’ve dealt with the Order for several centuries now,” he starts. “They’re quick to label anyone they fear as sub-human, but they’re lacking in humanity themselves.”
“Yeah.” I pick up a chip and dip it in salsa. “I’ve always questioned them, and my brother, Leo, has too. We were met with much resistance. It’s like a sin to challenge the Order. They’ve made us depend on them.”
“Of course. You don’t need them to kill demons.” He looks at me thoughtfully. “Would it make you happy to go hunt demons?”
“Yeah,” I say without having to put much thought into it. “It, uh, gives me purpose.”
He just nods and I eat a couple chips. “So, you don’t own a house in Paris, but you do have property all over the place, right?”
“I do. Real estate is a good business to be in when you can buy a property and sell it a century later.”
I laugh and get another chip, trying so freaking hard to look casual. “Yeah, that’s one way to make a huge profit. Mabel brought up a house in Long Island.”
“The Windermere House.”
“Sounds fancy.”
“It is. Which is why Mabel likes it.”
“Makes sense,” I say and shove the chip into my mouth, watching Xavier as I chew. “Can I see it?”
“I suppose I can make an arrangement to go in the near future.”
“Who lives there now?” I ask.
“Family.”
“Vampire family?” I raise my eyebrows and lean back. “I’m just going to say it. This whole keeping your biological line going…it’s little much.”
“Opposed to what, just turning anyone into a vampire? Whoever I turn to has the potential to be here for the end of time.”
“That is one hell of a commitment.”
Xavier grins. “So you see why I would be picky.”
The waitress comes over to take my order and her gaze lingers on me.
She has to recognize me; I’ve been in here dozens of times with the Russos.
She’s human, and she’s looking at Xavier a little nervously.
It’s not obvious to most people that a vampire is, well, a vampire.
They can’t sense the energy I can and even experienced hunters can be thrown for a loop.
There are obvious signs to look for beyond the pale skin, which is from lack of warm blood flow more than the lack of sunlight. Vampires don’t breathe. They don’t have to blink. Many still do both out of habit, and the older, smarter vampires make it a point to appear as human as possible.
To a normal person, the most obvious sign would be sitting here not eating, like Xavier is. The basket of chips, meant to be shared, is in front of me, and the second glass of water that was set on the table along with the chips remains untouched.
But mostly, Xavier is intimidating. He’s good looking and carries himself well.
“I’ll have the vegetarian fajitas,” I tell the waitress. “And an iced tea.”
“That’s your usual,” she says and smiles when I nod. “I knew you looked familiar. And for you, sir?”
“Nothing for me, thank you,” he tells her and she stiffens, realizing that he is a vampire. She looks at him a few seconds too long and then scuttles away, whispering to another waitress that a vampire is in their restaurant.
Vampires are allowed anywhere, and it was a big thing just a couple of years ago that a law was passed saying it was discrimination to make “human-only” establishments.
There are certain areas in the country where vampires are more accepted than others, and Asheville isn’t one of them, simply due to the fact that a lot of hunters gather in this area.
“The homeless people,” Xavier starts. “You say they were killed by demons.”
“Mh-hm. Demons burn through bodies they’re possessing.
A healthy person could probably handle possession a little better than someone who’s not.
It puts a great strain on the physical body to host a demon.
Demons can possess the dead, but it’s not like in a zombie movie where bodies just keep moving around.
Things, uh, get stiff and rot and fall apart. ”
“So once a body is no good, they move to another?”
“Yep.” I eat another chip. “I’m almost sorry you cannot experience the excellence that is this salsa,” I tell him.
“Demons possess for different reasons. A lower-level demon can possess a person and can influence them to do bad things over time. Maybe a week or two depending on the state of the body. They feed off that energy and just enjoy watching someone blow up their life.”
Xavier’s eyes narrow ever so slightly as he watches me. “Possession of the homeless doesn’t fit that narrative.”
“No. Their lives already suck.” I shrug. “Most of those people were addicts already in bad health with no family claiming them. I think they were possessed to be of use.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“The demons needed a physical body to literally do something. What, though, I have no idea.”
“If you were a hunter, how would you proceed?”
“I am a hunter,” I press. “I’m your wife—legally—and being a witch is useful to you. But I am a hunter too. I will always be a hunter and you can’t change that.”
His hand lands on mine and the coolness of his skin catches me off guard for just a second before I find it comforting. “I don’t want to change you. I find you quite exceptional just the way you are.”
My heart swells in my chest and I flip my hand over, slowly curling my fingers around his hand. He gently rubs his thumb over my wrist, feeling the pulse point. My body craves him again, and this time, I want to feel his fangs sink into my skin and have my blood spill into his mouth.
“You might be the first person to ever say that.”
“I’m not a person, Wren.”
“You were, and you still are.”
“I’m a vampire. I died long ago.”
We both are slowly leaning in closer and closer to each other without realizing it.
The longing in my heart intensifies, but instead of aching like it usually does, it feels quelled.
My lips part as I take in a breath and Xavier is about to say something when he quickly snaps his head to the side, looking at someone who just walked through the door.
The little bell dings as the door closes, and I feel an energy shift right before I hear her voice call out my name.
Gia.