Chapter 10 #2
Euphemia pressed a hand to her forehead.
“I was always stuck right in the middle. While one sister liked to overthink and over-worry, and the other didn’t worry about anything at all, I was caught in the center, constantly paranoid myself.
I spent my life wondering, what if the one who worries is right to be terrified?
But what if the carefree one is right, and I am wasting my life being afraid?
I was always forced to be the level-headed one, the grounded one who held us together, but I never actually got a grip on my own fears.
Now, trying to re-enter society like this...
I feel like I am doing one wrong thing after another.
I don’t know what I am doing! I feel like a child trying to learn my footing all over again, stumbling in the dark, and —”
She suddenly cut herself off, gasping for air. She had been rambling, her voice rising, completely lost in her own panic.
She hadn’t even noticed that she had been talking for too long until she felt the weight of his hand sliding over hers, gently capturing her restless fingers.
He looked down into her wide, anxious eyes. “I won’t tell you to calm down, Euphemia,” he murmured softly. “Because we both know it will not work.”
“It won’t,” she answered.
Nathaniel nodded once. “But I do need to remind you that I am the Duke of Greymoor, and as paranoid as you are about ruining everything, I can assure you that I am equally vigilant. I am managing every single moving part of this situation, and I will not allow a single thread of it to unravel near my daughters.”
He looked down at her, his voice dropping.
“I have it under control, Euphemia, and if society attempts to push it out of bounds, I will drag it right back under control. I will do whatever it takes to protect my family. You are under my roof now, which makes you my family. You need not carry this worry, because I am carrying it for you.”
Euphemia stared up at him, her chest rising and falling in a slow, settling rhythm.
She didn’t know why, but the sheer, commanding tone he delivered those words acted like a balm on her frayed nerves.
She knew it was likely temporary, and she fully expected the agitation and paranoia to claw its way back into her thoughts later that evening.
But in that exact moment, an incredible wave of calm washed over her.
Taking in a long, deep breath, she let her shoulders relax. “All right,” she whispered. She offered him a small, genuinely apologetic smile. “I am sorry for bothering you with all of my frantic worries.”
“You do not need to apologize for that,” Nathaniel said, the corners of his eyes softening as he finally let go of her hand. “You only need to be more careful so you do not keep finding new ways to injure yourself.”
“All right,” she murmured, a soft laugh escaping her.
An unexpected silence settled over the room. They remained seated there, close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating from him, neither of them making a move to break the quiet for several long seconds.
Euphemia’s mind, finally cleared of its dark clouds, suddenly flashed back to the conversation at the modiste with her sisters.
She looked at Nathaniel, a thought blooming in her head.
Since he was right here, and since they were apparently speaking on matters of absolute honesty...
perhaps he would answer a lingering question for her about marriage.
She turned to him fully and cleared her throat, trying to adopt a serious expression.
“Your Grace,” she began, tilting her head.
“I actually have a question for you regarding the honeymoon season that just ended. Perhaps you could shed some light on a detail I might be missing. There seems to be a grand disparity between the novels I have read and our own experience, and I require some clarification.”
Nathaniel raised an eyebrow, his expression turning mildly curious. “A question about our... honeymoon?”
“Yes,” Euphemia said, entirely earnest and innocent.
“During the honeymoon period, my sisters and I have read that newlyweds often make love. It seems to be an imperative tradition because everyone says it is precisely what a couple is meant to do during that season.” She paused, looking at him with searching eyes.
“Did we do that during our honeymoon? Because I have a distinct feeling that we did not, in fact, do it at all. I am wondering if we omitted a crucial step of the marriage process.”
The change in Nathaniel was instantaneous.
He froze entirely. His jaw dropped open slightly, the stern composure he always wore cracking to pieces in a single second.
His eyes widened so bright and wide with sheer, unadulterated hysteria that Euphemia leaned back a half-pace.
He stared down at her in absolute, paralyzed bewilderment, looking at her exactly as if she had just grown a second head or spoken to him in an otherworldly, alien tongue.
Nathaniel remained frozen for a few agonizing seconds, his chest rising and falling sharply as he tried to process her words. Finally, he blinked, forcing his jaw shut, though his face remained in profound shock. He hastily rose to his feet, clearing his throat so roughly it sounded like a cough.
“I believe...” Nathaniel said, his voice entirely strained and a full octave higher than usual. “... that I should take my leave now.”
He turned on his heel, his posture incredibly rigid as he made a sudden, desperate line for her chamber door.
“Your Grace, wait!” Euphemia called out, taking a few quick steps after him, completely bewildered by his sudden flight. “Did I cross a line or something?”
He paused near the doorway but didn’t turn around, his shoulders so tense they looked like carved marble.