24
Delaney : Round 2903218903
Miles : It’s certainly not been that many.
Delaney : You don’t know what I’m playing
Miles : 20 questions
Delaney : Am I that predictable?
Miles : Yes.
Delaney : Damn.
Miles : I’m asking.
Delaney : Fine!
Delaney : Wow, didn’t mean that exclamation point.
Miles : Jesus I’m glad. Thought you were about to murder me.
Delaney : Just can’t type.
Miles : Seems helpful as a scriptwriter.
Delaney : Scriptwriter makes me seem so much cooler than I am.
Miles : You are cool. The cooliest, in fact.
Delaney : Coming from the King of Cool? That’s the biggest compliment I’ve ever received.
Miles : Really?
Delaney : Ooooooh, one question down. And yes, although someone did once tell me I look like a Bratz doll.
Miles : Is that a compliment?
Delaney : You’re crap at using these questions wisely. And yes, or she thought so.
Miles : Okay… Girls are weird. What’s your favourite number?
Delaney : 2
Miles : Why?
Delaney : It’s just a good number. I eat Haribo in 2s. I change the volume in 2s. Everything feels right in 2s.
Miles : Favourite colour?
Delaney : Yellow.
Miles : Like bright yellow?
Delaney : Mustard yellow.
Miles : Do you like mustard?
Delaney : Weirdly, I actually do. On hot dogs and in Mac and Cheese
Miles : Mac and cheese????
Delaney : Wow. I knew you were a philistine.
Miles : No, really? You put mustard in Mac and Cheese?
Delaney : It’s not weird at all. Google it. It’s actually part of a traditional recipe.
Miles : Traditional? American cuisine: a cultural phenomenon.
Delaney : Is it American cuisine? I thought it had to be Italian.
Miles : Because of the pasta?
Delaney : Because of the pasta.
Miles : Lol
Miles : Okay, aside from Holy Island, what is the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you?
Delaney : Cute that you think that’s the most embarrassing thing I could do. Holy Island was just like my Patient Zero. I could name at least ten things I’ve done this year alone.
Miles : …
Delaney : You’re a monster.
Miles : A patiently waiting monster, though
Delaney : I told a guy to look me up on Facebook in front of loads of his and our friends at a party. Firstly, it's embarrassing because only middle-aged mums go on Facebook now. Secondly, he had a girlfriend. Thirdly, I don’t think he’d even been flirting with me, I was just really drunk.
Miles : If you’d told me to look you up on Facebook I’d have done it. Though only because I’d have been trying to work out if you were a time traveller and also still had a flip phone.
Delaney : Pure evil.
Miles : Number 2?
Delaney : I mean, the Caleb thing…
Miles : Nope. That’s embarrassing for him.
Delaney : And me!
Miles : Fine. Three?
Delaney : This is pure torture, I hope you know.
Miles : Think of it more as me telling you that the things you think are embarrassing really aren’t embarrassing at all.
Delaney : You know, it’s much harder to think of the embarrassing things now that I’m trying.
Miles : Maybe that’s what you need to remember when you think you’ve been embarrassing.
Delaney : You’re like a therapist.
Miles : Well, I have been to lots of therapists in my time.
Delaney : Really?
Miles : Oh yeah. You don’t grow up as middle class as I did without seeing a therapist every now and then. My mum made me go when I was a kid because I ran away from home (I didn't, I just stayed at a friend’s house for 72 hours playing the new COD).
Delaney : That’s fantastic.
Miles : Yeah, though the therapist did spin it as though I wanted to get away from my parents. Subconsciously, yes. Outwardly, that was a really good COD .
Delaney : I love it. I went to therapy for a year after the whole Caleb thing. It seemed to help.
Miles : Therapy is great. I went for like three years after finishing university and it’s the best thing I have ever done.
Delaney : I think everyone would benefit from a bit o’ therapy.
Miles : Agreed.
*
Miles : What are you up to today?
Delaney : That was the most middle-aged text you have ever sent.
Miles : Sorry.
Miles : U around?
Delaney : LMAO
Delaney : Right now, I’m lying on the sofa watching that episode of Big Bang Theory where Amy breaks up with Sheldon. Later I’ll be onto the episode where she gets back with him.
Miles : Solid season.
Miles : Not to interrupt, but do you want to play 20 questions in person today?
Delaney : Yeah, why not
Miles : Fab. I’m done at the shop at four today, we could grab a drink?
Miles : The drink can be out at a pub or at my flat depending on how much you want to socialise today .
Delaney : You know me so well. Definitely up for not socialising today.
Miles : Perfect. Come over here at 8ish.