36
It takes me about fifteen minutes to sort out my just-fucked hair so we’re late down to breakfast, but I don’t even care. I would rather stay in bed with Miles’s hands all over my body until our late checkout time. Apparently, life is going to get in the way of that.
“Where have you two been?” Carrie calls from across the large circular table. She’s sitting between her parents and the happy couple. Jas’s mum sits next to her daughter and the other seats at the table are filled by Miles’s parents, his brothers, and much to my dismay, Adriana and her parents. Like, seriously, how close are their families?
“Sorry, lost track of time,” Miles mutters, grinning and pulling a chair out for me. I grin at him and sit down.
“Good god,” Jas says, “We just got married yesterday and you two are mooning over each other worse than we are,” she says, gesturing between herself and a dazed-looking Julian. I guess they had a good night… To be honest, I really hope I don’t have a face like Julian’s right now because he looks like he’s been hypnotised by Jas.
I raise an eyebrow at her as Miles snorts, leaning over and grabbing the rack of toast, offering it to me first.
“Miles,” Adriana’s mum calls, “Is the shop open tomorrow? We’re in town for a few weeks before we head back out to France,” she adds, smiling kindly at me.
He nods, his mouth full of toast, “Yeah, Monday to Sunday,” he says after swallowing his mouthful.
“How is it open Monday to Sunday if you’re here?” Elliot asks. Miles’s younger brother looks significantly less put together than he did last night and I wonder if Jas’s work friend stayed the night with him.
Miles raises an eyebrow at him, “I have staff,” he says like it’s incredibly obvious, because, well, it is.
“Elliot, you’ve met his mean manager,” Jem says, leaning around his mum to wink at his youngest brother.
I frown at Miles and he grins at me, “They think Avery is mean because she doesn’t take any of their shit,” he explains.
I raise an eyebrow at Miles, thinking of the girl who threw her arms around my neck and hugged me when she met me. Maybe she can just tell that both of his brothers suck.
“Oh yeah,” Elliot challenges, “The only words she’s ever spoken to me are ‘get out of my way,’,”
I snort and Elliot looks at me with raised eyebrows, “Hey,” he says, “You’re on very dangerous footing after last night.” He is pointing at me like I’m a school child and I just raise my eyebrows at him.
Carrie laughs, “Still salty that you got schooled by a woman, cuz?” she asks.
He frowns at Carrie but doesn’t have a chance to respond before Miles asks, “Wait, what happened?” He is looking between Carrie and me with faint amusement.
“Oh, El thinks that men just make more natural leaders,” Carrie says, “He tried to defend this point of view to Del and I,”
Miles laughs and then tries to cover it with a cough. “Bet that went well,” he mutters and I chuckle.
“Excuse me,” Jen says across the table, looking at her son like he’s in trouble.
“That’s not what I said,” Elliot says, looking defensive, “I just said that there’s got to be a reason that there’s more of them, you know?”
Miles snorts really loudly as Jen looks incredulous, but it is Jas who rolls her eyes and says, “Yeah, it has nothing to do with two thousand years of patriarchy and weak men who think that strong women are bitches,”
“Exactly,” Carrie yells.
“Carrie, please stop shouting,” her mum says, but Carrie just rolls her eyes and then launches into the rant that she went on last night.
The rant, thankfully, is a condensed version of the original and is cut short by Art asking Miles very loudly and over the top of Carrie whether he is working today.
“No,” he says, “Like I said, I do have staff,” he says.
His dad raises an eyebrow like he doesn’t quite believe Miles has staff, or a successful business for that matter. But he is stopped from asking questions by Jen’s gentle hand on his. Of course, Jen can’t do anything about her brother-in-law, who leans around his newly married son to grin at Miles.
“Do people still actually buy flowers, Miles?” Trevor asks.
I want to punch him and I am in awe when Miles smiles and politely responds, “They sure do, Trevor,”
“But, what with Moonpig and the likes, you can’t exactly be making money,” he says.
Miles’s grin broadens, “Thankfully, I am very middle class and have an inheritance to rely on,” he says, eyes flicking to mine.
I stifle a smile.
“Is that meant to be a joke, Miles? Don’t you want to create your own legacy?” his father asks like Miles genuinely is planning on just living on the money he inherited.
Miles shrugs, taking another bite of toast, “We’re not remembered for the money we leave behind, Dad,” he says.
“That is very true,” his mother says, reaching over and squeezing Miles’s hand .
The table falls silent as though the men can no longer think of ways to tell Miles he’s a failure. I suppose, when it just bounces off you, there’s not much else to do. Jem is looking at his younger brother like he’s an alien, and Art is shaking his head, as though Miles truly is a disappointment. And for all his bravado, there is a certain disheartened curve to his shoulders, as if he might have won the battle, but he knows he’ll never win the war.
After breakfast has been cleared and coffee has been poured, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I’m not exactly contributing to the conversation since I have never been skiing nor did I realise country clubs were a real thing and not just made up for movies and the like.
I spend a little bit longer there than necessary and manage to reply to Emme’s frantic messages once more. That girl really is a helicopter parent in the making. I am heading back down the corridor and into the restaurant when I see Adriana’s dad, Ray, walking towards me. I don’t know what to do and am trying exceptionally hard not to catch his eye, so I am taken aback when a hand lands on my forearm and someone is saying my name.
“It is Delaney, yes?” he asks.
I look up into his cold grey eyes and stop myself from pointing out that he has in fact been introduced to me a number of times and it’s quite an unusual name in the grand scheme of things and therefore not that hard to remember .
“It is,” I say, gently removing his hand from my arm because what in boomer-fuck does he think he’s doing grabbing onto young women he barely knows in empty corridors?
He watches me remove his hand, rolls his eyes, and then sighs, “How serious are you and Miles, might I ask?”
I raise an eyebrow as if to say you may not ask but he seems unperturbed.
“Because you must know by now that he and my daughter were very serious only last year,” he continues, and I suddenly feel like I’m in a film. I know where this is going. Everyone knows where this is going. Rich fucking people, man.
I nod. My only sign I have taken in what he said.
“It would be a shame for them not to be able to give it another try. You know, before she left, they were close to marriage,”
I raise an eyebrow, “But she left. And Miles has a life here,”
He nods, “She did leave, and she regretted how it ended with Miles. But now she’s coming back, and it would just make sense for them to be together. She’s good for him. She can get him back on the right path,”
I frown, unsure what I’m supposed to say here again. Firstly, because Adriana is moving back????????? And secondly, because I didn’t know Miles was on the wrong path.
“Art has wanted him to work for the company for a long while, and I agree with my friend. Miles would do well there, and Adriana could support him. I don’t know much about you, my dear, but you don’t strike me as someone who could do what is necessary to get Miles back on track,”
My frown deepens, “What about what Miles wants?”
“You young people all seem to think you know what is best, but unfortunately, it just takes one youthful whim to ruin your life,”
“You think running a successful business is a youthful whim that is ruining Miles’s life?” I ask, taking a step back.
“I think our definitions of success must differ, Delaney,” he says, “It’s not your fault. You’re not from our world, but Miles is and he could be so much more than he is now, with the right person by his side,”
I watch him for a moment, mulling this over, “So, let me get this straight so I can understand what you’re saying. I am not the right person for Miles, I am holding him back somewhat, and the right person is your daughter, whether or not Miles agrees?”
He sighs, shaking his head as if I really am an imbecile, “Miles agrees that Adriana is right for him, deep down. Art and I have let the kids have their fun, but now is the time for them both to get serious and unfortunately, you’re not what he needs, ”
And with that, he pats me on the arm and carries on to the male toilets. I frown, look after him, turn back, and then squint into the distance for a few seconds. Then I conclude that the anxiety in my brain must have created that delusion for me because no way do people actually speak to strangers that way. No way did that just happen.
But I guess it did. I guess Ray really did just pull me aside and tell me I’m not good enough. Wow. No one has ever said it that plainly before. Usually, it’s just me convincing myself.
When I get back to the table, I must be in a bit of a daze because Miles asks me twice what’s wrong. I tell him I’m fine and then down my coffee, trying to shake off the burning glare that I can feel on my cheek when Ray returns to his seat.
*
We head back to the room to pack, but Miles, who has watched me stare longingly at the big, claw-foot bathtub all weekend, insists I take a quick bath because I don’t have one at home. So, I am reclining in a bubble-filled bath, the smell of lavender wafting around me, when I hear someone knock on our door. Miles calls to them, telling them he’ll be there in one minute, and then I hear him leaving the room, the door clicking quietly behind him.
The crazy lady in my brain tells me that it’s Adriana and for a whole minute we have a silent fight about the fact that Miles is a good guy and is not going to be out in the hallway making out with his ex. She wins though, so I climb out of the bath and pull the plush robe off the hook, wrapping it around myself and making my way out into the room.
It’s still empty, so I go over to the door and look through the peephole. Miles is outside with his dad. He has his arms crossed and even from the side, I can see that he doesn’t like what his dad is saying. I quiet my breathing and listen as hard as I can, pressing my ear to the door. For some reason, I just know it’s going to be about me.
“…she told you she’s moving back,” Art is saying.
“She did,” Miles says, shrugging. I know they’re talking about Adriana, and I know that Miles didn’t mention that he knew she was moving back. Fair enough that I don’t need to know, but I thought he might have told me. Now that I know he didn’t tell me, it feels like he was hiding it all along. The anxious woman in my brain loves this.
“And are you going to do anything about it?” Art asks.
I see Miles frown, “What would I be doing about it, Dad?”
“Get her back,” Art says, “Get back together, get married, settle down. That was always the plan for the two of you,”
“I didn’t realise there was a plan for my life,” Miles replies.
“Don’t be dense, Miles,” Art says, “Adriana is perfect. She’s poised, she’s successful, and she’s from our world,”
Art doesn’t even have to mention my name for me to take this as a jab. I am not from their world and fuck me, I wouldn’t want to be. They’re all awful, man.
“Dad, we broke up for a reason. Her moving back to the country doesn’t change that,”
“You broke up because she moved and you were far too attached to that silly shop,” Art says, sounding frustrated now like he’s talking to a child who just can’t seem to understand that 2+2=4.
“Whatever you think of me and my life, I’m not just going to change it because you tell me to,”
“Miles, I know I’m hard on you, but I just want you to live up to your potential. You’re smarter than both your brothers, you always have been, but you’ve also always needed guidance. Adriana can give you that,”
Miles frowns and I see the conflict on his face. His father just paid him a compliment, even if it was backhanded. He almost admitted that Miles might be his favourite. For a guy who has spent his life in his brothers’ shadow, it’s got to be a big moment. He sighs, “I’m not just going to drop Del, Dad. I… I can’t, I can’t, and it’s not fair on her for…” he mutters, and he sounds so disappointed, so desperate to do exactly that, so utterly exhausted. I’ve never heard Miles sound so unsure about anything, never heard him stumble over his words .
I step back from the door, one pace, then another few, as though it has burned me. I stare at it, not sure how to feel and not really feeling anything. Does he… does he want to just drop me? I mean, he can, we’re not real anyway. I just didn’t know it would hurt so much, to hear such desperation in his voice, to know that he feels obliged to stay with me, even though his ex-girlfriend, the one that got away, is coming back to town.
They’re still speaking outside the door, but I can’t hear them. I don’t want to hear anymore. I don’t want to hear that desperation in Miles’s voice to be rid of me. At some point, I must realise that Miles is going to come back through the door because my feet carry me back to my cold, bubble-less bath once more. When I hear him come back into the room, I play at getting out of the bath and go through the motions of packing.
When he asks me why I’m being quiet, I tell him I’m just tired and he smirks. An hour ago I would have blushed but now I feel gross. I feel used. He really was just using me as a distraction, as someone to make another girl jealous. And I can’t even be mad, because that’s what I agreed to. He did the same for me. We were each other’s distractions, each other’s fakes. I’m just the idiot who got caught up in it all.