Chapter Fifteen #2
In the past, when girlfriends touched Chris, jerked him off or blew him, it felt like a chore.
He struggled to keep himself hard and interested when he wasn’t feeling it.
Occasionally, when he’d waited a few weeks after jerking off alone, he could trick himself into welcoming stimulation from another person.
But for the most part, any time sex had focused on him, he’d felt too aware of his own body and the effort it took to be present in the moment to enjoy it.
Apparently, these things were different when you were attracted to the person doing them. Who knew?
Luca’s touch stayed light and teasing for a long while, getting to know Chris by feel.
It gave Chris a chance to acclimatize to the strange sensation of someone else touching him intimately when he wanted it.
Instead of always having to readjust Luca’s grip so it caught the right spots or ask him to go looser or firmer or faster or slower, his body was so primed for anything Luca wanted to give him that Chris didn’t care how Luca touched him.
There would be time later to learn each other properly, to figure out how Luca touched himself when he was alone so Chris could do it for him—a thought that made Chris leak another sticky drop of precome.
Maybe Luca would do the same for him. Right now, he was so turned on it didn’t have to be perfect. It just had to be Luca.
“Someday, I will want you to fuck me,” Luca informed him.
Chris’s cock throbbed.
“We will have to go slow. I don’t bottom often, and it will not be easy.”
“You don’t have to—”
“But it will be so worth it. You will make me so full, Chris. I want to feel you everywhere, all of you.”
“I want that.” Chris wanted to make Luca feel as overwhelmed as he did.
Luca leaned down to kiss Chris’s hip bone. “Our next off day,” he promised, and then his mouth was on Chris’s cock.
His mouth was on Chris’s cock.
Even when he’d been most in his head and frustrated about sex, Chris enjoyed feeling someone else’s mouth on him.
He never asked for it, of course—it didn’t feel good enough to make him rude—but sometimes, girls offered.
It never lasted as long as it would take for him to get off.
He was too big, and their jaws ached eventually, but sometimes it got him excited enough to try for penetrative sex.
His past experiences did nothing to prepare him for the sight of Luca on his knees between Chris’s legs with his plush, generous lips spread around the head of his cock.
He didn’t try to go deep and, instead, kept his hand steady on the shaft, stroking slowly as he sucked and tongued.
The sensations still made Chris’s brain feel too big for his body, like the nerves in his pleasure centers were lighting up so brightly they’d hum and vibrate and finally explode, leaving Chris satisfied and empty.
Was it because Luca had a bigger mouth and jaw than any of the girls Chris had been with?
Was it because it was Luca—such a proud, prickly person—dedicating himself to Chris’s pleasure?
Did it matter? Chris let his head thump into the pillows and moaned. Luca hummed around his mouthful.
“That feels so good. You’re so good…I love you so much.”
For an instant, Luca’s fist tightened around him, and his mouth sucked, hard.
Chris cried out, keeping his hips still by force of will alone. He made himself take long, steady breaths even as the sensation of Luca’s tongue dancing across the slit made him want to shy away and thrust deeper all at once.
He propped himself up on his elbows so he could see Luca.
Luca wasn’t trying to make it sexy. His forehead furrowed in concentration. He drooled all around Chris’s cock, making the glide of his hand that much smoother. Chris watched the flutter of his eyelashes against his cheeks as he pushed his hips against the bed.
God, Luca was so into this that his eyes rolled back, and he humped the mattress.
Chris pounded his fist against the bed at the sudden sharp swell of pleasure.
“Luca,” he managed. “Luca, you’re beautiful, you’re so—you’re gonna make me come.”
Luca made a rough, throaty sound around his dick and didn’t pull off even a centimeter. Instead, he sank lower, moved his fist faster, flicked his tongue quicker.
Chris didn’t stand a chance.
He clutched the sheets as his orgasm raced through him, making his heart pound and his muscles seize.
Luca’s free hand cradled his balls as they drew up tight and contracted, and he sucked as Chris came all over his tongue.
It must have been too much because he pulled off and let the last few spurts drag against his cheeks and lips.
The visual was something Chris had never known to think was hot, but now he’d seen it, it would be burned into his brain forever. He fumbled in the dark for words he didn’t know he could understand and repeated Luca’s own phrase back to him: “You look like you’re mine.”
Luca’s gaze was dark, heated, and serious. “I am.”
Chris swallowed around nothing. “You should fuck me.”
Luca groaned. “Even if you hadn’t just come, I would last maybe three minutes. Maybe.”
“So?”
“So, I want it to be good for you.”
Chris considered how to explain.
“I don’t have to come for it to be good for me. You’ve given me something no one else could. I want to be close to you, and I want to feel you, and I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel.”
Luca closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “If you’re sure.”
“So sure.”
Luca went to the bathroom to wash his face, and Chris forced himself upright to rummage through his suitcase for his toiletries.
He had travel-sized lube in there from a year or two ago, when he’d thought he might change personalities and become someone who could have casual sex once he’d signed a real NHL contract.
He’d never expected to try it this way around, but it felt right. He felt good about it.
Feeling confident and happy about sex was so nice.
He lay down on the bed, lube bottle in the sheets beside him, and folded his arms under his head.
“Look at you,” Luca said when he came out of the bathroom.
Chris’s first instinct was to self-deprecate—boulder with a potato head—but Luca sounded reverent.
“Do you like what you see?” Chris meant it to be flirty, the kind of thing Jax would say with one of his patented eyebrow wiggles. Instead, it sounded raw and honest.
Luca knelt by the side of the bed and kissed him once, thorough but quick, before pulling away to rest their foreheads together. “I do.”
Chris closed his eyes, savoring. Maybe someday, he would dare ask Luca more, ask what attracted him to Chris, whether the things Chris saw when he looked at himself in the mirror appeared different in Luca’s eyes.
Not today. He’d processed enough new information today. Instead, he passed Luca the lube.
“In a hurry, hm?”
“You’ve been waiting a while.”
“’S good,” Luca assured him, leaning in to kiss his shoulder. “Let me cool down; then I will last longer.”
“You don’t have to—”
“Chris.” Luca kissed him on the lips once, briefly. “It may be hard to believe, but before you, I was good in bed.”
“You are—”
Luca kissed his right cheek. “I was patient and cool, and I could make it last for ages. Has it been that way with you? Even once?”
Stubbornly, Chris said nothing. Maybe Luca hadn’t been some tantric master when they were together, but Chris liked how out of control Luca got.
If he hadn’t experienced the pride of doing something right for his partner with Luca, he might never have crossed the barrier into conceiving of himself as a person who could enjoy sex under the right circumstances.
“You make me feel…” Luca drew in a deep, shuddering breath and kissed Chris’s other cheek. “…so much. I am constantly on edge and desperate for you. I want to show you how I can be. I want to…to feel there is no rush.”
Chris heaved a sigh. “Okay. I get it. But for the record, I’m glad I make you feel new things too. Means I’m not alone in this.”
Luca brushed his lips along the shell of Chris’s ear. Chris shuddered all over.
“Never,” Luca whispered.
The word sent a bolt of lightning through Chris’s whole body. Never. He reached up to stroke through Luca’s hair. “I’m glad it’s you.”
They breathed together until it got too heavy for Chris to take. “So, are you going to fuck me? Because I was promised a sex coach, and so far—”
Luca tickled across his ribs, and Chris squirmed, breathless with laughter.
When he stopped, he was propped up over Chris, staring down into his eyes. “Have you done this before?”
Chris snorted. “What part of me begging you to teach me how to not suck at sex lets you think I ever made it to anal?”
“It isn’t an achievement you build up to. It’s one act among many.”
“I get that, but it also isn’t something you ask for when you’re dating a girl and the sex is already terrible.”
“This—” Luca kissed him. “—will not—” Another kiss. “—be terrible.”
“I trust you.” Chris relaxed under him and lost himself in kissing for a while.
Kissing after he had come had a different quality.
There was no longer any urgency but, instead, a slow, syrupy sweetness.
Of course, Luca had plenty of urgency left, and he pressed into each kiss, hands running all over Chris. That was nice too. Gratifying.
From the first time they kissed, his favorite thing about it was how into it Luca got, how much he wanted Chris.
And Chris couldn’t believe he hadn’t considered Luca’s feelings might run deeper.
If he’d been less in his head, less filled up with self-doubt and negativity, maybe he’d have understood Luca the other night in their apartment and—
It didn’t matter. They were here now. He held Luca closer and let him take whatever he wanted.
Luca grabbed the lube and settled between Chris’s legs again. “You’re sure?” he asked.
Chris spread his legs wider.
Luca kissed each of Chris’s thighs, and then his slicked-up fingers traced behind Chris’s balls, rubbing over his hole.
The sensation was strange and unfamiliar. Not bad, necessarily, but in wasn’t the direction that things usually went there.
“Try to relax,” Luca advised.
Easier said than done with one slim, elegant finger tucked up inside him, but Chris did his best. The second was a bigger stretch, but Chris breathed into it the way he would any new exercise at the gym.
Luca crooked his fingers.
Every muscle in Chris’s body clenched.
“Good?” Luca asked.
“I…don’t know?”
Luca did it again.
It did feel good, but with so much sensation, Chris didn’t know where to begin processing it.
“It will be more sensitive, since you already finished,” Luca explained. “Do you still want—”
Chris hoisted himself up onto his elbows to look at Luca. “I want. I won’t break. I’m a big, tough hockey player, remember?”
“You do not need to be tough in bed,” Luca said, but he smiled all the same.
“Changed my mind. Stop coaching me; start fucking me.”
Luca used another finger first, and Chris found the repetitive stimulation made the sensitivity bearable to the point where he began to enjoy it.
By the time Luca deemed him ready, Chris was sad to feel his fingers go.
Luckily, Luca had a condom in his wallet, and even more luckily, in the process of getting it out, he took off his pants.
His cock stood so hard it was purple, flushed, and wet at the tip.
When he rolled the condom on, his eyes fluttered shut.
“I can’t believe you want me,” Chris blurted out.
Luca opened his eyes and smiled. “I will have to convince you. Will you turn over?”
“Oh. Um, sure.”
Lightning fast, Luca darted in to kiss him. “It isn’t that I do not want to see your face and kiss your lips while we do this.”
“So why…”
“You are a big, tough hockey player. I am afraid I cannot hold your legs up in this position.”
Chris smacked a kiss on his lips and rolled to his stomach, ass in the air. Over his shoulder, he said, “You’re a tough hockey player too. I bet you could if you tried.”
“I notice you didn’t say ‘big,’” Luca notched his dick into place and began to press in slow and steady.
“Oh.” Chris breathed into the stretch and forced his body to accept it. “You don’t feel small.”
Behind him, Luca laughed. He kissed Chris’s shoulder. “Someday, when I will not have to explain a strain to the coaches, I will look into your eyes while we do this.”
He started to move in slow, rhythmic pulses of his hips.
Chris arched his spine deeper until the angle let Luca scrape across his prostate. “Who knew you were—hah, oh God—such a romantic?”
Luca continued to rain down kisses on Chris’s neck and shoulders between the movements of his hips as he said, “Only for you.”
He kept it slow for a long time. So long that the hits to Chris’s prostate went from achingly, sensitively pleasant to good, and then so good that he bucked back into it.
“More?” Chris asked.
Luca’s forehead rested against his shoulder. “Can you touch yourself?”
“You don’t have to—this is for you.”
“Please?”
Chris doubted he could come again. He was more than satisfied, and he didn’t need Luca to give him more. But Luca asked for it, so Chris shoved an arm under his chest and wrapped his hand around his cock.
To his surprise, he found himself half hard. Maybe that happened when you kept having sex after the first orgasm. Chris had never tried before.
And then Luca gave him more. The headboard smacked into the wall.
Chris keened.
Luca did it again, and Chris started pumping his fist, passing from half hard to aching for it in a matter of moments as Luca slammed into his prostate again and again.
“You feel magnificent,” Luca mumbled into his skin. “I want you forever. I need you. I can’t wait anymore…please, amore, please—”
Chris wondered if he knew he’d switched to Italian.
Luca let loose uncontrolled, harsh thrusts. He was riding the edge, nails biting into Chris’s skin right above the massive bruise from the puck Chris had stopped with his thigh about a million years or possibly three hours ago.
“I love you,” Luca whispered.
Chris came weakly over his fist with a loud moan.
Luca shuddered behind him. Chris relished the marks Luca’s hands left in his skin, and he cherished the shaky breaths Luca took afterward, still leaning against him.
Chris reached behind himself with a clumsy hand to grab one of Luca’s. “I love you too.”