Chapter 42
Chapter Forty-Two
Audacity should be John’s middle name.
The post office in Middleton can’t be trusted.
And I’m not going to see him.
“Another fresh bouquet?” I asked, glancing at the dozen roses Mom had placed on the table.
She wore a new pair of bright turquoise overalls, and her hair was wild.
She looked like a messy Easter chicken but somehow ten years younger.
There always seemed to be fresh flowers in the house these days.
This week, it was red roses. “Do you have a secret admirer, Mom? Pray tell.”
Mom snorted but didn’t elaborate. I made my way downstairs. It was a new week, Monday morning—my favorite day, as it meant fresh books for the store. I routinely went around, wiping dust off the new shelves and straightening the Free Fan Fiction Library sign.
As I unlocked the front door, I glanced at the new seating area. Deep blue velvet sofas nestled by the window and I knew by mid-morning the perfect reading light would stream in. Yet sometimes, I found myself missing the patched old vintage one. Or maybe it was just the memories I had with it.
Mom never directly asked, though her questions always grazed the topic of John. Once, she “accidentally” left a magazine page on the kitchen table. The headline: “John Kater Splits from Bond Girl After Ending Sci-Fi Career”. With the subtitle: “Will He Ever Recover from His Father’s Death?”
I pretended not to see it. But that night, I laid awake, hovering over the unblock button.
Part of me wanted to reach out, check if he was okay.
But my heart had just started not to feel in permanent pain.
And if he really wanted to contact me, he could have, right?
For all I knew, he’d forgotten about our.
..thing. For all I knew, the magazine was lying, or he’d moved to Peru to become a monk. So why did I still feel...so much?
The door jingled.
The mailman’s nose was bright red from the cold, spring was still a few weeks away. He unloaded a stack of boxes and wished me a good day.
I froze in the doorway when I spotted the address of Haller & Mark on the delivery note. Since the competition had halted, I’d directed all their emails to junk. I knew Jeremy and May were still involved, now that the world had recovered from Lew’s death, but I never asked for details.
Could this be the winning novel? Would they send one to everyone who took part in the competition? An advanced copy? I bit my lip, considering just tossing it.
Mom came downstairs behind me. “What is it?” she asked tentatively, probably noticing the worried lines on my forehead.
I shook my head. “Nothing, just…”
“I’m sorry, Nora. Normally I manage to put them aside before you get here.” She untied her apron and laid it across the counter.
“Wait. What do you mean—normally?”
She shrugged. “Well, you seemed to not want to…how do I put this…be in touch with any of this. With anything you-know-who related.”
I held up the package. “There was more post for me that I didn’t get?”
Mom winced. “A bit. I wanted you to be able to take a break. Get some distance. I thought that’s what you wanted.”
I stared at the parcels. “Yes, I did. But I didn’t expect them to reach out through snail mail.”
I looked back down at the package. Something inside me tugged. So, I put coffee number six on— it was a death-by-caffeine kind of day—and ripped open the first box.
Nothing. Nothing could have prepared me for this.
I held a book in my hand. With a cover I knew all too well.
My parents on a scooter in Berlin.
The title—Two Truths And A Lie.
Author—John E. Kater.
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
“Liebling? Are you okay?”
I nodded, then shook my head, and saw tears splashing onto the cover.
Paper scattered on the floor. Bookmarks with the same print, a signed sheet from the author.
A voucher for a discount for his reading at the next convention in Middleton.
This was promotional mail. Nothing personal.
Post from the publisher. Probably sent out to the entire team.
And I was still on their mailing list. It was good Mom hadn’t shown me the rest. It would have only gotten my hopes up.
He had, once more, taken from me. I brushed the tears away. Collected the book stuff and threw it in the trash.
I would NOT go to see him.