Chapter 13
CECILY
Iwas tired as I folded a pair of leggings into the duffel bag on my bed, my hands moving on autopilot. The house was quiet, but my mind was anything but calm.
My thoughts kept drifting to how well Ares took care of me whenever I spent the night.
In the mornings, he kissed me awake instead of letting me sleep through my alarm.
He even made me perfectly balanced breakfasts without any prodding.
The meals were high protein with just the right amount of carbs, exactly what my body needed before a brutal training day.
Not only was the food delicious, but his choices had made it clear that he’d put a lot of thought into what to make for me. He’d even admitted to doing research. And timed everything so I walked into the pool with minutes to spare.
His thoughtfulness told me that he took my dreams seriously. Being with him was better than anything I’d ever imagined. And that realization made my chest ache.
I zipped the bag halfway and sat on the edge of the bed, staring at nothing and wondering if his support of my goals would make it easier for him to let me go when the time came.
Maybe he’d understand that the Olympics had to come first. But the thought of walking away from him made my stomach twist into knots.
I had no idea how I was going to survive the loss now that I knew what it was like to be with him. I’d let myself get in way too deep. Which was why I had to end this.
If we were going to rip the bandage off, it needed to happen soon. Before the Olympic selection process kicked into high gear, and I had to upend my entire life again. I couldn’t afford to be heartbroken and try to make the team at the same time. There was too much on the line for me.
I needed to be in control. And I wasn’t sure I could do that when the man who owned my heart was thousands of miles away. It was better for me to go through the pain now so that I’d have a better chance at focusing later.
I stood, slung the duffel over my shoulder, and took a deep breath.
With the decision made, I knew I should leave the bag behind.
But despite everything, I still couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Deep down, I knew it was because I wanted one more night with him, even though I’d packed for a heck of a lot more since he’d asked me to.
As I headed downstairs, the bag felt heavier with every step. I was almost to the front door when my parents’ voices stopped me cold.
“Cecily, honey, where are you going?” Mom asked, stepping out of the living room with Dad right behind her.
Their gazes went straight to the duffel on my shoulder, and I knew we were about to have a conversation I’d been hoping to avoid on a night when I really didn’t want to have it.
I shifted my weight. “Ares is picking me up. I’m staying at his place tonight.”
Dad’s jaw tightened, and Mom let out a slow breath, like she tended to do when I had disappointed her.
“We’ve put a lot into your artistic swimming career.” Dad crossed his arms over his chest. “We don’t regret the years of early mornings, travel, coaching fees, and sacrifices because we know how much you love it.”
“I hope you both know how much I appreciate all of your support.” I flashed them a grateful smile. “And that I understand I never would’ve gotten this far without it.”
“We do, sweetheart.” My mom shook her head with a soft sigh. “But we’re not going to stand by and watch you throw everything away for some guy.”
I bristled, my grip tightening on the strap of my duffel. “I get that me being with Ares might be hard for you since I’ve never dated anyone before, but he’s not just ‘some guy’ to me. He’s…important, okay?”
Mom’s expression softened slightly. “We assumed he was since you’re spending almost all of your limited free time with him.”
I winced a little, unable to argue her point since it was true. “But my training hasn’t suffered at all. I’m still hitting every session and pushing just as hard. I’m as determined to make the Olympic team as I’ve ever been.”
“If the call comes—and we all know it could any day now—what are you going to do?” my dad asked. “Drop him so you can pack up and move back to California like you’ve been planning ever since you left?”
My shoulders slumped, the fight draining out of me.
“I don’t know,” I admitted quietly. “We haven’t talked about it yet.”
Dad shook his head. “Then you need to end it now, Cecily. Before you risk everything you’ve worked your entire life for.”
Even though I’d come to the same conclusion on my own only minutes ago, I wanted to argue. Tell them they didn’t understand. But they were right.
I swallowed hard and nodded, even though it hurt.
“I know,” I whispered. “I was already planning to talk to him.”
Mom looked relieved, and Dad gave me an approving nod.
But when Ares’s motorcycle rumbled into the driveway a few minutes later, I still walked out carrying my bag. I needed one more night of memories with him to keep me going over the coming months, and I hoped like heck he’d still want to give me that after we talked.
“Hey, baby.” He gave me a quick kiss before holding my helmet out to me, then took my duffel to put it into the saddlebag. After I climbed on behind him, he pulled away from the curb.
I held him a little tighter than usual while the wind rushed past us. When we got inside his house—the place he’d basically called ours just yesterday morning—he didn’t push. Instead, he gave me another kiss and pulled me into the kitchen, where he made us a simple dinner.
We ate on the couch with the lights low. He kept touching me, and the small brushes of his fingers along my arm felt so good it hurt.
But he was an observant guy, and he knew something was off.
Halfway through the movie we weren’t really watching, Ares muted the television and turned to face me fully.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” There was an edge in his voice that let me know he wouldn’t be easily fobbed off. “You’ve been somewhere else all night. Don’t shut me out.”
My stomach twisted into knots, but I couldn’t put it off any longer. I took a shaky breath and told him everything I’d been holding inside.
“The members of the National Team Training Group and Residency Program are going to be named any day now, and if I get the call—”
“When,” he corrected, interlacing our fingers and squeezing my hand.
The gesture was so sweet, tears welled in my eyes. But I didn’t let them fall. Not yet.
Taking a deep breath, I continued, “The team is based in Los Angeles. All of the training takes place there, which means I’ll have to move back there.
After coming so close to making the roster for the last games, I can’t turn down the chance to finally fulfill my lifelong dream.
So um…” I squeezed my eyes shut because I couldn’t get the last part out while I was looking at him.
“Maybe we should end things now, before it gets even harder.”
His hold on my hand tightened, but he didn’t say anything. When the silence got to me, I finally opened my eyes. His lips were pressed into a line, and a muscle jumped in his jaw, but he didn’t seem nearly as angry as I expected.
Then he shocked me by murmuring, “You don’t keep shit from me, Cecily.”
I thought he’d get angry about me leaving and maybe even try to talk me out of it. Instead, he was mad that I hadn’t talked to him about what was bothering me.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t know how to say it. I didn’t want to ruin what we have.”
He reached over, grabbed me by the waist, and pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him.
One hand cupped the back of my neck as he brought his mouth to mine.
His kiss was deep and a little punishing.
Like he was reminding me exactly who I belonged to.
I melted into it like always, my fingers gripping into his shirt as heat flooded my body.
When he finally pulled back, I was breathless. But I still forced the question out because his reaction had thrown me for a loop. “What do we do now?”
His thumb stroked along my jaw. “We’ll figure it out.”
He said it so simply, as though it was obvious that we’d come up with a plan that would work. I wanted so badly to believe him. I even thought about asking him to come with me to California, but the question stuck in my throat. I was too scared that he’d say no, and I’d be crushed.
So instead, I let him distract me completely. I knew I was only delaying the inevitable. But I wanted to pretend we could have everything. At least for tonight.