Chapter 35
thirty-five
GREER
Jude leans over me, supporting his weight on one of his tan, thickly veined forearms and kisses my neck.
His breath is warm on my flesh, the scent of our earlier lovemaking sticking to him.
“I’ll be back in a minute. Just gotta talk to Flinch about something.
Don’t fall asleep yet. I have plans for you. ”
And suddenly I’m a little less tired.
He leaves me with a quick peck on the lips and squeezes my asscheeks, “I shouldn’t be gone too long.”
After he closes the door, I pad into the bathroom to relieve myself for the ten thousandth time that night.
I catch a glimpse in the mirror and find smudged mascara and streaks in my foundation from sweating.
I’ve got to take off my makeup. In my rush, I forgot face wash, more focused on diabetes supplies for myself and Hank.
Praying for hand soap at least, I rummage through the en suite bathroom only to come up empty.
Maybe Sutton or Meadow has something. I leave Hank curled up on the foot of the bed and head for the door. Before I shut it, I make sure that it isn’t locked, since Jude has the key. I have no idea what’s so important at this time of night, but who the hell even knows with bikers.
The upstairs of the clubhouse is a long row of numbered, identical doors that lead down a wide hallway towards a staircase. It reminds me of hotel rooms, except for the muddy boots outside one of the doors.
Straight down the staircase, I can see Sutton still folded up on the couch, the wolf dog Chloe at her feet.
Hank met her earlier. My pampered pooch was loud, bossy, and sauntered away like he’d told Chloe who’s the boss. The ninety pound wolf dog had simply looked at my snack size puppy like he’d lost his damn mind.
My voice sounding tired to my own ears, I beg Sutton, “Do you have any face wash or something? I didn’t pack for overnight.”
Sutton sits upright. “We have a stash of travel size toiletries in one of the pantries. Let me go look.”
She tosses a throw blanket off herself, then heads towards the kitchen, leaving me alone in the spacious common room.
I sit in one of the oversized chairs and move when something digs into my bottom. Reaching into the cushions, I pull out a pair of heart shaped sunglasses. They make me think of Allie.
It’s hard when you know your family meddles too much. You don’t want to repeat history, but at the same time, it’s the love language you’ve been taught. I’ll give her a few more days and hope she messages back. I respond with a simple, “I love you. Call soon?”
Suddenly, Jude’s voice carries through the building, raised in anger, but the words are muffled. I follow the sound through an empty hallway until I reach a closed door. “Why am I just being told?” Jude demands.
“You don’t have any say in this,” answers a voice higher than Jude’s.
“The fuck I don’t,” Jude answers. “You’ve already proven you can’t handle this.”
Furniture scraped against the floor and there’s a tussle before Folgers distinctive deep voice breaks in, “Enough! We can bring it to a quorum of the officers, but the rules are pretty clear.”
Jude snorts, “If he thinks this is going to work for any period of time, he has no idea what he’s signed up for. There’s a clock over your head, brother.”
The creak of a chair sends me further away from the door. I don’t want to get Jude in trouble for snooping. I quietly ease away, back to the common room.
Sutton’s back in her spot on the sofa with a reality tv show on the big screen. “Oh, hey, where did you go?”
“I got lost trying to make my way to the kitchen.”
Sutton yawns, “Glad I found you. I’m just about to call it quits for the night.”
She moves to stand and hands me sample containers of face wash, deodorant, two toothbrushes, and toothpaste.
“You’re a godsend,” I say in thanks.
“It’s my job, but I’m happy to help.”
Jude’s still not back by the time I scrub my face clean. As much as I believe in minding my own damn business, being at the clubhouse has my curiosity on overdrive.
I power off the flip phone to save the battery and strip down to my panties. I wore a soft cotton tee to the compound, so I pull that over my head to keep warm.
I toss and turn, alone in the bed, until sleep finds me. I’ve only just gotten into a deep sleep when the bedroom door crashes open. I cover my exposed skin with the sheet and blink at Folgers standing in the open doorway, propping Jude up.
“I said to knock first,” Folgers grumbles.
“Oh yeah,” Jude says. “Thanks for the escort, brother. I got it from here.” He unwinds himself from Folgers’ grip, then stumbles over to the bed.
“He was not nearly this drunk when he left here,” I point out.
“The old timers got hold of him. Rot gut whiskey.”
Glaring at Folgers, I accuse, “He has a busted lip!”
Jude wiggles his eyebrows. “You should kiss it better.” He starts peeling off his cut, leaving it on the bedside table. He starts fumbling with his boots, somehow managing to get them off without help.
“Well, nothing to be done about it now. Does the club keep fluids for hangovers?”
Folgers gives me a dumbfounded look. “Babe, we’re bikers.” With a headshake, he closes the door behind him.
“I’m sorry, Baby Doll. I tried to get back, but they kept offering me shots. Then Buzzkill brought out his kit,” Jude says in way of an apology.
“The tattoo artist? You didn’t do anything, did you?”
“Yup. They had it all set up to brand me tonight.” He clumsily pulls off his cut and tee, showing off the beginning of a massive back piece. The club’s emblem. “I’m a brother. Means I can wear Bayou Dog ink.”
“So they decided you should do it tonight?”
“Yup. Just to start it because it takes so many hours. Plus I got this.” He stretches out his arm to show off another piece of skin covered in clear plastic. “It’s your handwriting.”
Sure enough, stretching down his arm is my familiar script, spelling out my name.
Across his wrist, in much smaller lettering, are a little red heart, the greater-than math symbol, and two arrows facing in opposite directions.
It means love is greater than the highs and lows.
It’s something I see often on tees and such at diabetes conferences and camps.
“I love it.”
“I’m gonna add a stethoscope looped in on one side.” Jude didn’t just add my name to his flesh. He added, well, me.
I bite back the tears welling in my eyes. “You put a lot of thought into this.”
“I want everything that is you on my skin, under it, touching it.”
“That’s sappy even for you,” I tease.
He stares at me propped up on his elbow, eyes distant from liquor, a small smile on his lips. “I love you, ya know. I keep waiting for you to say it first, but you’re kinda chicken.”
“I was waiting for the right moment.”
“Well?” he questions.
“Well, what?”
“Aren’t you going to say it?”
Pulling in a long breath, I say the words I’ve never offered to another man. “I’m in love with you, Jude Clairmont.”
“About damn time.” He grabs me from the edge of the bed and drags me onto the mattress, rolling me beneath him. Jude brushes the hair from my face, “You’re not mad they kept me downstairs?”
“I was asleep anyway. I’m crazy tired tonight.”
He makes a happy little noise and nuzzles into the pillow. “Maybe it’s our little sweet pea growing inside of you.”
“Not discussing this with you right now,” I say. Seeing Jude this happy makes me happy, even if he’s discussing a topic I’d rather not broach. Besides, I’ve been on an Army base enough to know not to rationalize with someone when they’re three sheets to the wind. Minimal discussion, then bed.
“Why not? Don’t you want it too?”
“I want to get some rest.”
He shoots me a lopsided grin, tucking me under his arm. “Fine, we’ll go to bed.” He digs the blanket out from underneath me, covering our bodies.
His scowl turns soft, then he pleads, “Give me a baby. It’s all that’s missing in my life.”
I let out a long, patient breath because I finally understand.
He wants a family. Jude’s feels like people who love one another and lived together until the kids turned eighteen, not one unit.
Few soldiers stay single while on active duty.
Jude was waiting for the right woman to make a family with, something he’s offered me from day one.
“We’ll find out soon enough if you’re getting your wish,” I tell his sleeping form. I tuck myself into his side, resting my head on his chest. The rhythmic pulls of his breath lull me into the deepest of slumbers.