Chapter 27
Turning up the radio, Court hoped to drown the voices in her head with some classic grunge music. She hated this feeling of complete loneliness that took over all her emotions when she was rejected. Not that her family rejected her again, but rejecting them left her feeling the same way.
This was why she never wanted a real relationship. Deep feelings hurt too much. She had hurt far too much in one lifetime already not to let it happen to her willingly. One-night stands and short hot weekends were all she had left in her. Long term just wasn’t something she could do.
Driving towards the city, she felt herself start to relax the more miles that were between her and the people in that family.
No longer would she consider them anything but that family.
They weren’t hers. They never had been. It had been Calvin who had made sure of that years ago.
Why had he not just stopped seeing her, she didn’t know, because he hadn’t wanted to?
This weekend proved that he had never wanted her in his life.
He had created a family without her and didn’t want her anywhere near them.
He should have admitted that to her way back then.
As she passed a slow-moving pickup, her music stopped abruptly, and her ringtone sang through the car a completely different melody. Stabbing at the screen, she accidentally answered it instead of hanging up on the caller. Why had they made those buttons so small and so close together?
“Court, are you in that fancy car?” Ji’s jovial voice came loudly through the speakers, causing Court to turn it down, not needing to be yelled at by this woman.
Like with her own daughters, Ji Ellis seemed to always know what Court was doing. Rebel and Ellis hated it, but it always made Court feel like someone cared. After all the years Ji and James Ellis had been in her life, she knew they cared.
“Yes, Ji, I am,” she answered honestly. Ji hated technology, but found the one positive to be that she could always get a hold of anyone she wanted to at any moment.
“Are you speeding?” Ji demanded, as if she could sense what was happening.
“No, ma’am.” Court immediately let up on the gas, not wanting to lie to the woman. Just like Rebel, she hated lying to her surrogate mom.
“Don’t speed. I don’t want to identify your body when you die in a horrible accident.
Fancy car or not, your body will be a mess, and I won’t want to look, but I’ll have to as your Eomma.
Giving me nightmares forever. Do you want me to have nightmares for the rest of my life, Court?
” She was on the verge of tears by the end of her rant.
The image was horrific, but the sentiment melted Court’s heart.
That family may not have loved her, but her found family did very much.
It was exactly what she needed to hear, wanted to hear right now.
She wasn’t alone in the world. The last time she ran away, she was.
This time, she was just going back to the life she truly loved. No harm.
“No, Ji, I never want to cause you nightmares.”
“You sound weird. Are you okay, Court?” She sounded like she settled into a chair.
From past calls and talks with the Ellis sisters, she knew when Ji sat down things were serious. The woman was usually moving nonstop and could multitask better than a single task. Except she actually listened to your tone when she sat down, so she was harder to get anything past.
“It’s just how it’s coming through the car speakers.” She lied, hoping that would work.
“It had better be,” Ji said. “I don’t like when my kids are sad.”
Court fought back a tear. She felt the belonging she had missed the last two days, the unconditional love the Ellis family had offered her when she needed it the most. Including today, “I’m not sad.”
Ji tisked a few times. “Did one of your women break your heart?”
Stephanie’s face popped into her mind uninvited. Pushing it down, she argued, “My heart doesn’t get involved, you know that.”
“As you kids all say these days. But that’s just because you haven’t felt true love.
Once you feel it, you’ll do anything to keep that feeling.
Your life will be turned on its ear,” Ji insisted, like she always did with her girls.
This was a lecture that was given a lot.
Usually after a breakup, when she tells everyone she knew the person wasn’t for her daughter because she’d know when the person was their person. A mother’s intuition.
Turning off the interstate, she argued, “I’m not interested in true love.”
“Doesn’t matter about interest or not. You meet the right person and wham, you want it all. Rings, kids, houses, trips, Christmases, porch swings. Do you think I was looking for love when I ran into my James the first time?”
Court chuckled as she turned onto a side road heading for her condo. “You were looking for love. You’ve said many times you were looking for your soul mate and thought you had found it with Do-Yun.”
Ji’s might have been young when she had met James, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t been looking for her soulmate for a while.
Her entire family was obsessed with everyone finding her a respectable man to marry.
Not the forever kind of love she was looking for.
For her daughters, Ji was looking for both in one package.
She hadn’t succeeded yet, but in time she would.
“Do-Yun, what a catch he would have been. He’s a surgeon now.
I knew he would go places even back then.
My mom and dad, they wanted me to love him so bad.
Me too. But then came James and plans changed.
So happy they did. My James might not make a lot of money, but I love him so much.
Still, do you know?” Ji’s voice went soft talking about her husband of over thirty years.
They were so much in love still and it showed.
“I don’t have a Do-Yun or plans for one.”
“Of course not. He’s old and married. Why would you want him?
He’s not a catch anymore. Besides, he moved to California.
You’re not moving out there for him, are you?
I tell you girls never to follow a person anywhere until you have been married at least five years.
Besides, you have so much better going on here.
Do-Yun isn’t worth giving up everything you’ve worked for, Court.
” Ji argued the point as if Court was going to up and move out west for a stranger who was old enough to be her father.
“I don’t actually want the actual Do-Yun.
I just meant anyone like him. That I don’t want anyone.
” Court stopped outside her condo’s underground garage, knowing the call would be dropped the moment she went inside.
At this point, she might not want to talk about her love life, but she wanted to keep talking to Ji right now.
“Don’t worry, Court, you’ll find someone, hopefully a woman, around your age. We’ll talk about it tomorrow. You’re coming to Brunch right? I need to see all my children now and again. Ellis says she’s busy, but I can’t see her too busy to see her Eomma,” Ji complained
“You mean weekly?”
“Yes, because I used to see them every day. Now I have to settle for a few hours in the week.”
“Maybe Rebel and Ellis should move home?” Smirking, Court suggested knowing Ji would bring it up to her older daughters. They would refuse, but would have to do it without hurting their mother’s feelings. Which was a difficult task.
Instead of taking the bait, Ji snorted into the phone before saying, “No, we don’t have the room for two grown women in this house. I can’t imagine it. Rebel’s shoes alone would fill all our closets.”
“I can. It would be a hot mess.” She smiled, her thoughts completely off what had happened that weekend. That’s why she loved everyone in the Ellis family and was grateful every day that they had taken her in.
“Hot mess is right.” Ji agreed. “Court, we’ll see you tomorrow. I’m making your favorite.”
“I’ll be there.” She promised she couldn’t say no to the woman.
“Did you need me to find you a nice girl? I know a few you know.” It was offered more than once, and nobody ever took her up on the offer.
Because Ji isn’t the matchmaker she thinks she is.
All of her set-ups had been disasters for as far back as Court could remember.
But Ji kept trying and never admitted her faults.
Ignoring the question completely, she decided she needed to get off the phone before she had a date with a stranger that she couldn’t say no too, “See you tomorrow, Ji.”
“Tomorrow, Court,” she said and added out of nowhere, “Love you.”
“Love you, too,” Court responded automatically, because she did.
Court knew she was loved by these people, that they wanted her to be around and went out of their way to not only make sure she was there, but that she was included in their lives.
Not once had she thought they regretted having her around.
Far from it, they wanted her around and made sure she was aware of it.
They were her family. No matter who her birth parents were, she was an Ellis in everything but name. In this case, water was far thicker than blood ever had been for Court.