Chapter 37
As she paced the small living room, Court couldn’t look at Stephanie.
She couldn’t see what was in her eyes. If she did, she’d remember the pitying look forever, so she just kept moving and focused on the carpet.
“I won’t go into the awful details, but there is a reason that only Ty understands what I went through.
She's more my sister than anyone in this world. We have shared memories that nobody should have.”
“How did you get out of there?” Stephanie reached out and grabbed her hand as she passed, pulling her back down next to her. “No, this is your story to tell. It doesn’t matter that you made it out, and that’s all I need to know. All that matters is that you made it out, you and your friends.”
Court was silent as she picked at the couch with a nail for a few minutes. Thankfully, Stephanie didn’t push her to talk, because sometimes speech wasn’t possible when the past was pressing down on her.
“Late one night we all ran away, me, Ty, Heather and another girl who had been there a few days and was already so broken. Some of the girls were stronger than others, and that came out quickly there. By the time we decided to make our move, we knew we had to get her out, or she’d die.
Her name was Jana, and for her we got out of there, for her we saved ourselves.
Somehow, Heather got us a ride back to the city.
Only I was from here, but I had no way to contact anyone without a phone, and I wouldn’t go back to my mothers ever again.
I wasn’t a na?ve kid who thought her mom would protect her from the bad world anymore. ”
“I can see why not.” Stephanie thankfully didn’t mention Calvin. Whom she hadn’t felt close enough to call. She had been sure he wouldn’t want her either.
“We were miles from the part of town I knew, and we managed to find an abandoned house and stayed there. Jana was so weak she couldn’t go on anymore.
Heather knew of a shelter in town, something her dad had railed against, and she remembered a few details about it, like where it was.
She and I went looking for it. It took a day and a half to walk there.
When we told them our story, they believed it.
The manager took us back for Ty and Jana.
But by the time they got there, Jana had already died, and Ty had been there for it.
Alone. They were both sixteen at the time. Just kids.”
“Pour things.” Stephanie’s voice was thick with tears.
“The rest of us were taken to the shelter. Ty and I both refused to have our parents contacted. We were able to stay at the shelter until we graduated from high school. We were lucky in that they had allowed us to stay that long. That was two years for Ty, who is a year younger than I am. I stopped being Courtney then. I just couldn’t be called that name again.
There were too many memories tied to it.
” Court stopped talking, but she let Stephanie hold her.
“After I graduated, I went to college, like I had always intended. It was there that I met Ellis and tried to move on with my life as if I was normal. Sometimes I succeeded. But sometimes the past catches up with me, and I remember I’m not normal at all. Ty understands where I’m coming from.”
Running her fingers through her hair, Stephanie could feel Court quaking in her arms. “I want to meet Ty. No rush whenever you’re ready for that to happen. She's such a big part of your life. I want to get to know her.”
“She's the only person who knows everything about me. Even Ellis doesn’t know it all, and Rebel thinks she knows more than she does. I’ve never told anyone as much as I’ve told you.”
“And Heather? What happened to her?” She asked again. Court knew she would ask, would want to know everything.
Shaking her head, Court analyzed the fabric as she let herself be comforted by her touch.
“Heather couldn’t stay at the shelter. To many people, too much talking.
She walked out one day and never came back, lived on the streets for a few years and then let herself become addicted to anything she found that made the memories stop. One day they did.”
“It’s just you and Ty left? Do you know what happened to that place? Is it still around?”
“They got shut down a few years later. Not much came of it that I know of. Not enough, that’s for sure. But at least nobody else is getting hurt there.”
“Thank you for telling me. For trusting me with your story.”
“I was finally ready to tell someone.” Court said, but her nerves were making her jumpy. She was done talking. “I think I should go.”
“If that’s what you want.” Letting her arms slip from around Court, Stephanie leaned against the couch arm, letting Court do what she needed to do. “I still feel the same about you as before. Nothing you said tonight changes that. You’re still the one I want to spend every moment of my life with.”
Court got to her feet and looked down at her. “Give it time, that will fade, and the realization that I'm never going to be over that time. That I’m damaged and will never be fixed.”
“Can I have that time? Can I have more time to decide about damages and fixes?”
“Why would I decide that?” Court asked, trying to get her shoes on, but fumbling with the task.
“Because you are still the same person I’ve been dating for a week, thought about for a week before that.
Your past is so ingrained in you that it’s already a part of your personality.
Everything you’ve experienced makes you who you are.
Even if I didn’t know the extent of it, I knew something bad had happened.
And that never scared me, never will.” Stephanie took the shoe from Court’s hands and tossed it to the floor.
“Come lie with me. I want to wrap my arms around you tonight so you know you are safe with me. From now until forever.”
Letting her lead her to the bedroom, Court kicked off the shoe she had slipped on her foot as she went.
A minute ago, she needed out of the apartment and in the fresh air so she could breathe, but now she just needed to be wrapped tightly in Stephanie’s arms. It was the only place she felt she would be safe.