Chapter 41
Court knew she shouldn’t go to the park, especially when she was feeling depressed. Like the world was conspiring against her. Which she was actually sure it was. Why else would Calvin and Marlene show up at Stephanie’s unannounced and remind her who she was? Or, more importantly, who she was not.
Stephanie deserved the best of everything, and that included who got to love her forever. Court had been reminded repeatedly in her life that she wasn’t enough. From her mother to, well, Calvin, but if they couldn’t love her, who could?
Maybe she could have overcome some of her insecurities for the right woman.
But her step-sister was the only person she shouldn’t start with.
Having the woman you love parents hate you was one thing.
Having the constant reminder your dad hated you was another.
Because even if they never saw their parents again, Court would always feel inadequate.
Setting on a bench in the park that she hated.
The place she never wanted to be and couldn’t seem to leave at the same time.
It was three acres that reminded her that she was letting the past rule her future, but at least she had a future.
But at least she had that future, Heather didn't, Jana didn't. Wasn’t she lucky?
The last time she saw Heather, Court knew she wasn’t coming back. She’d never be the preppy cheerleader that she had once been. After five years, she hadn’t found the correct dose of drugs to dull the memories. There was no shutting those down.
Months later, when Ty called and said she’d been found dead, Court had mostly felt relieved. Their friend had been creeping towards death since they left Hell. She had finally succeeded in achieving her goal.
Court had never felt that desperate to stop the pain, because if there was no pain, there would be no feelings at all in her. And she knew that was far worse.
After all these years, Ty had never told her where Heather died, just in this park.
Whether or not she even knew, Court didn't care.
It was better to have the entire park as a memorial to their friend, not just some dark corner of it.
Heather deserved all the flowers, grass, and sunshine the park offered as her memorial.
Pulling out her phone, she knew she had to call Stephanie.
To end the best thing in her life. To give her the freedom or force her to make in impossible decision.
Nobody should ever have to decide between a partner and a family.
Court hadn’t had a family for most of her life and never wanted Stephanie to feel how lonely life can be without anyone.
Before she could make the call, her phone rang in her hand. Looking at the screen, she saw it was Rebel. Rebel had been told to call only if it was an emergency this weekend. Court knew that she wasn’t Rebel’s first call in an actual emergency that would fall on her sister’s or parents’ shoulders.
But the call that would once have been an interruption to her and Stephanie’s weekend together. Was now a pleasant distraction from what wasn’t going to happen, and what might never happen again.
Because she needed a distraction, she answered the phone. She knew she didn't have to say anything, Rebel always talked enough for everyone. To say she was chatty was an understatement.
“Court, sorry to call. I know you said not to call this weekend, but I'm in crisis mode here. Crises!” Her voice cracked at the last word.
Sitting up straight, nervously Court asked, “What’s happening?”
“I got an invitation to the Tail and Feather.” She squealed into the phone with excitement now.
“I’ve never heard of it.” She admitted, though she didn't care to hear about it now. Rebel was constantly finding new events happening in the city’s queer community. She had long ago stopped asking where she even got her information.
Rebel chuckled and talked down to her like she was a child and should already know these things. “It’s the most secret and sot after kink club in the city. How could you have missed that?”
An involuntary shake went through her body at the mere thought of that sort of place. “I’m not into kink, neither, nor did I think were you.”
“I’m not, but it is nice to be asked.”
“Are you going with a Dom or a sub?” Court asked the most important question.
“I'm a Dom, so…” Rebel groaned, and Court could hear the creaking of her leather couch as she must have sat down heavy into it. “OMG, I can’t go. I can’t be a sub.
Everyone knows I don’t have the personality for that.
I mean a little now and again maybe, but handcuffs hurt, and I’ve never done butt stuff. Subs do butt stuff! I have to cancel!”
Rolling her eyes at her dramatics, she asked, “Is that all that you needed?”
“Yes, we’ve decided I must politely say no, which I was planning the entire time. So sorry I interrupted your weekend sex plans. Ellis didn't answer my call. ‘Widow’s peak’ is taking all her time.”
“He has a name.” Court said, though she had no idea what it was.
They had been on one date so far, and Ellis had talked more about the fact that he had a widow’s peak than anything else.
At first, Ellis was in love with it. Now she was starting to talk about Eddie Munster every time he was brought up.
Court was putting bets on the relationship ending before date two.
Rebel snorted, “I don’t need to waste memory on this guy. She’s looking for the perfect guy, and this one has a huge widow’s peak, that’s something she’ll never overlook. Her kids must have perfect hair. Preferably blonde, but we all know that isn’t happening. Gene’s and all that.”
“When it’s the one, she’ll overlook just about anything. Just wait and see,” Court assured her, after all, she overlooked Stephanie’s entire family. Or had for as long as possible.
“Not Ellis, she's going to die before she finds someone that isn’t you.” The loud sound of Rebel slapping her hand over her mouth came across the line. “Whoops!”
Rolling her eyes, she said, “Ellis doesn’t have feelings like that for me, she’s straight.”
“You and I both know she’s looking for you in a dude. And if no dude is found, she’s most definitely going to marry you and be roommates in old age. Probably in a cottage in England someplace. Maybe Vermont.”
“Vermont isn’t in England.” She laughed for the first time since seeing Stephanie’s parents at the door. “She doesn’t see me that way.”
“Item number ten is, and I quote, he must have little to no family because hers is too much as it is.”
“That’s not me. She just knows her family well enough to know she can’t add a matching set to Ji and James.”
“Number four, subsection B, prefers blonde hair and blue eyes.”
“She threw that one out when she dated that tall Italian guy. What was his name?” She tried to come up with it, but only remembered it started with a G. Gianni? Giovanni? Geraldo?
Rebel snorted. “It doesn’t matter. She dumped him for not being Court Morrissey.”
“We’re not interested in each other that way.” She argued, but knew Ellis had once had a small crush on her, but that had been years ago.
“You don’t, but my sister is another story. Now, you and Stephanie have this perfect couple thing going on. Which is slightly too much for even me to take, and I’m a romantic.” Rebel said, as if she was, when they both knew she was cynical about the entire thing.
“Stephanie and I aren’t perfect. Far from it. I need to break up with her.” She admitted, wishing they had more time together. Two months hadn’t been enough.
“What? Why? What’s her fatal flaw?”
“No, she's perfect. Just the family thing. Her parents stopped by her place today and said we don’t belong together. They’re right.” Court admitted.
Rebel grunted, “And what changed?”
“What do you mean?” She asked, confused by the question.
“Please, you knew since the family weekend that when her parents found out about you, they would be against it. And even knowing that you two have been inseparable for far too long now. To the point that you have made me take a self-defense class. So again, what changed when they actually found out?” Rebel asked.
“I don’t want Stephanie to have to decide between them and me.
” Court said, knowing Rebel would never understand.
She had never been and would never be in this situation.
One day she’d fall for a woman and everything about that day would be perfect.
Everyone will be happy, and not one person would be against the match.
“That was already a factor in your relationship. Since day one. And do I need to tell you that that’s not up to you, that’s up to her? And she chooses you.” Rebel said as if she knew that for a fact.
“I don’t know that. Nor do you.” Court said, wishing she would, but knowing that a decision like that isn’t easy.
“Through all this, did she think her parents would be happy for you two?”
“No, she knew how they would feel.” She admitted, knowing she should have kept that in the forefront of her mind all these months instead of dismissing it and forgetting.
“Which means that she chose you. If her parents had any sway in her decisions, she wouldn’t have come looking for you after you left their house.
If she wasn’t already in too deep, she never would have walked into Eomma’s house and put up with my entire family, just to see you.
Wouldn’t have stayed with you for months. ”
“I love her for that. Ji is something else most of the time.” She grinned at the memory of that day so long ago. The day they started dating.
“Ahhh, you said the L word, Court. Have you told her yet?” Rebel sounded just like her mother in her excitement of love.
“Yeah, sort of. I need to talk to Ty first.” She needed to process all this with someone else first. She couldn’t trust herself sorting out her own feelings, hadn’t in a long time.
“She’ll tell you to tell Stephanie you love her.
And that you are family enough for her. We all are.
Ellis, me, you, we are family. And my mom and dad, Grace and Elodie, and one day the people we all fall in love with.
We’re a family that’s better than other families because we all choose it.
Well, you chose it, we were born to it and are stuck. ”
“Stephanie’s used to more than that. I can’t ask her to give it all up.”
“You won’t have to ask, Court. It’s love.” Then Rebel started singing a kid’s song about Court and Stephanie, a tree and K.I.S.S.I.N.G before Court hung up on her. Not needing to hear anymore.
Though she loved Rebel, her advice on a romantic level wasn’t always on point.
So instead of calling Stephanie back from all the calls that she had already made to her, she shoved her phone in her pocket as she headed back to Ty’s place.
She needed real advice from someone who actually understood her.
Someone who knew the ghosts in her past and knew that nobody deserved to be saddled with them.
When she had arrived earlier, Ty was busy with the babies, so Court took a walk, needing time alone while Ty got the babies settled. She just hoped that had happened. Babies were cute and all, but not very good company for a heart to heart about her future.
Knocking on the door, she didn't expect Stephanie to open the door, or Stephanie to be holding a baby to her chest as she swayed. Stephanie looked to anyone like a new mom.
Everything she had decided she needed to talk to Ty about was completely forgotten.
Walking into Ty’s house was like walking into the future.
And Court knew Stephanie was the center of any future she wanted.
Without her, Court’s life was going to be exactly like it had been for the last decade, alone and lonely.
But Stephanie had the power to take all that away in an instant.
Right then, she knew it hadn’t been her parents missing in her life that had made her lonely. It was the one person who, with Court, became a family unto themselves. Where Stephanie was, her family was. From here on out. No matter who else was there.
Stephanie took Court’s hand and intertwined their fingers. Her other had a one-hand hold on the baby, making Court nervous enough to put her free hand on its back. Ty would never forgive her for dropping one of her babies.
Meeting her eyes, Stephanie asked, “Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah, I just needed to think.” She said, knowing it sounded less important than it was. But with her, it didn’t feel as important anymore.
Stephanie squeezed her hand. “I’ll let you think whenever you want to, just let me know where. I worry about you.”
“Where is Ty?” Looking around the house, she couldn’t see the woman anywhere.
Kicking the door closed with her foot, she didn’t let go of Court. “Sleeping, she was exhausted. I think the single-mom thing has been hard on her.”
“Do you want kids?” She realized that she should have segued better into the topic and maybe right now wasn’t the time. But it was all she could think about, Stephanie, babies, kids, and home.
Stephanie looked at her in confusion. “Um, yeah, someday. When we decide we want kids. I'm sort of busy with my gym right now. Why do you want kids now?”
Shaking her head, Court said, “In the future. But with you.”
“Me too, with you. Later though.” Stephanie leaned in and kissed Court lightly, as if sealing the promise with a kiss, and Court was willing to take it.
Before Court could say anything, a wail came from the back of the house.
Stephanie jumped back and dropped Court’s hand, but only to shove the baby in her arms into Court’s own.
Taking it carefully, she tried to mimic how Stephanie had been holding him or her.
Court wasn’t sure which it was. Did blue always mean boy?
Shifting the baby as Stephanie came in with the other baby, who was in yellow, so not solving any of the baby mystery. The funny thing is Court knew Ty wasn’t doing it as some sort of statement. She was sure either would end up in pink if that outfit was closest and clean. That was how Ty was.
“They’re both awake.” Stephanie whispered, probably because neither were crying at the moment. “Do you think Ty is bottle-feeding or breast?”
Court chuckled and kissed her girlfriend. “Bottle, they’re adopted.”
“But they look like her.” Shocked, Stephanie held out the one she was holding and analyzed it, but she was right. Ty’s babies looked so much like her it was scary. They were not related, but were still a family.
Court’s expanding meaning of family was growing by leaps and bounds today.