Chapter 19
NORA
HE DIDN’T show at the pub last night.
I watched the door the entire evening. Even when my shift was over, I scanned the area in front of the pub for his big truck, hoping to see his long, brawny body leaning against it, waiting for me. No such luck.
Why would he come to the pub for me? I rejected him.
This is what I wanted, right?
Right?
Then why did I feel like crying the entire walk back to the inn? His absence affected me more than I thought it would. It makes my chest ache each time I think he might hate me. He was so nice to me, and I threw it in his face.
My thoughts are so scattered that my focus is shattered.
Then I thought I would distract myself by researching my car again, but that didn’t last long.
What I’ve learned is that I should have researched before I bought it.
The consensus is that after a hundred thousand miles, they tend to break down frequently, and the repairs are never under a thousand dollars.
Definitely not the car to use if putting miles on it constantly with low funds.
My only priority should have been finishing up my new online identity after losing a couple thousand dollars on Tuesday when my freelance services account was deleted.
It was more than just money, it was also all my positive reviews from previous customers, and unfinished manuscripts dropped with no notice, which makes me look so unprofessional.
I’ve lost all credibility, and it’s going to take forever to start from scratch again. I’m sure Matt was counting on that.
In addition, I probably should be sweating bullets because shutting down my account, I think, is confirmation that Matt is still trying to sabotage me, even digitally.
He’s still looking for me.
I’m positive it was Matt who wiped my account. It’s the only explanation, and it should scare me more than it does, but the wretched sadness from being mean to Tuck the other night, and the pain of thinking he might hate me is stronger than the fear I should be feeling.
I’ve been sitting in the bay window seat since before the sun came up.
My sleep was interrupted with anxiety dreams all night - some about Tuck and others about Matt.
In one dream, I could hear the same anger in his voice that I would hear when he would get angry with me, and I remember our last phone conversation.
After I left him, and still had the phone number from our shared account, he made so many threats. He promised to ruin me if I didn’t come back. He threatened to find me and drag me back ‘kicking and screaming’.
What confused me was why he was so adamant that I come back. The begging and apologies were generic and didn’t do anything to convince me of his genuine love for me.
The last time I answered his call, it was just out of curiosity to see what he would say.
“We have a life together, Nora.” The anger in his voice was so cutting.
“Well, it’s getting a little crowded with the other women.” The memory of him fucking his assistant was front and center in my mind. Then, to make it even worse, was the sound of him coming inside her as I closed the door that day, and I swallowed down the bile that climbed up my throat.
“So what if I get my rocks off with another woman now and then, you’re the one I come home to?” The anger was gone from his tone, but I could tell the softness was forced.
“So there are more than the two I know about?”
Silence was heavy on the line for several moments before he lowered his tone. “Come on, sweetheart, come home. I miss you, and I want to make this up to you. We’ll go have dinner, and I’ll show you just how much you mean to me.”
The part of me that still wanted his love and to go back to my familiar life was trying to detect even a hint of sincerity in his words and tone, but it just wasn’t there.
“You know what I realized that day when I went back to the apartment? I was trying to decide what to take with me when I was packing to leave, and I realized nothing really belonged to me; everything we have ‘together’ is yours. I was just another ‘thing’ you acquired. Seeing you fucking that woman, and what you just confirmed about others, shows me where I stand with you. I’m sorry, Matt, but I won’t live like that. ”
He snapped. “Goddamn it, Nora! Do you think I’m going to let you walk away?
” His voice lowered, and he was talking through clenched teeth.
“I will find you, and I will drag you back kicking and screaming if I have to. You have until tomorrow to get your fucking ass back here or I will make life harder for you little by little. I will fucking ruin you, do you hear me?”
He ended the call, and the next day, he followed that up with draining my bank account, leaving me with nothing but my car and what I fit in it when I left. I tossed my phone, the last thing that connected me to him, in the trash that day.
The screen on my laptop goes to sleep again as I look out the window of my room. I tap the mouse pad to wake it up; the cursor is winking at me like an asshole rubbing my nose in the fact that I’ve been completely unproductive.
A familiar SUV pulls into the driveway, and my heart does a little somersault in my chest. I almost forgot it’s Thursday and Tuck will be going to PT today. Will he come to the pub like he usually does? Or will he avoid me?
Kinley slowly climbs out from behind her steering wheel, and I think her belly is even bigger than it was last week. I’m surprised she can still drive.
Shutting my laptop and setting it aside, I make myself presentable and go downstairs to be distracted from my melancholy by the humorous interactions between the two women.
Today, Kinley is wearing a light-blue maternity jumpsuit that has paint splotches on it, but no makeup, and her hair is twisted up in a sloppy bun on top of her head. She’s even walking different.
Allison meets her at the door, hugging her tightly from the side. “Aww, you look horrible, chica. Is that Latin man not taking good enough care of you?”
Kinley’s husband was with her at the pub when they all came for dinner last week.
He’s one of those tall, dark, handsome, broad and built men that women watch when they walk by.
He looked at her with nothing but complete love and devotion in his eyes, and it made me wonder if a man will ever look at me like that.
A tired smile barely graces her face. “Oh, no, my fine Latin man is bending over backward to make me comfortable. It’s his part-Latin, part-Harlow baby boy that’s seeing just how uncomfortable he can make me every night.
Rhys got mad at me for not staying home to rest today, but it doesn’t matter where or how I rest, I’m uncomfortable. ”
This time, as I jog down the stairs, Kinley sees me and gives me a side-hug, too, making me feel like I’m part of their duo, wrapping me in a comfort I haven’t felt since before Grams died.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be driving until after the baby comes.” Allison takes her hand and pulls her to a seat in the dining room.
Kinley shakes her head. “I’m fine, and Tuck is in so much pain after his PT that I don’t want him driving by himself.”
I would offer to do it if we could be back before my shift starts. But he probably wouldn’t want me to drive him anyway.
“What do you want for breakfast today?” Allison asks.
Sitting in a chair to Kinley’s left, I grab a piece of sausage that is already on the table with the usual breakfast stuff.
“Everything is giving me horrible heartburn; do you have something that won’t do that?” Her chair is so far away from the table to make room for her belly that she turns sideways a little and rubs the hard bun in the oven that looks like a beach ball.
“You got it!” Allison hurries back to the kitchen.
Kinley turns to me, and her smile widens. “Well, well, well, you’ve been keeping secrets.” She teasingly points her finger at me.
My mind kicks into double-time as I try to think of what she means, and the only thing that I can think of is that Tuck kissed me on the porch last weekend.
Worrying the edge of my napkin between my fingers, I shrug my shoulder. “In my defense, I haven’t seen you since last week.”
She drops her hand to the table. “I never thought I would see the day my brother pursued a woman. He’s always been the pursued.
And that video of the attempted robbery the other night,” she rolls her eyes and dramatically fans her face.
“The way he was looking at you made me hot just watching, and he’s my brother.
Gross.” She follows that up with wrinkling her nose.
The world stops, and only a tiny part of me wants to ask how he was looking at me, the rest of me is focused on the other thing she just said, and everything around me goes fuzzy. “Video?”
“Yeah, one of the girls at the pub that night has a YouTube podcast and recorded everything. You and Tuck are on more than one social media platform staring lovingly into each other’s eyes behind the bar.
Tuck has neeveer looked at a woman like he looked at you in that video.
It makes me so happy that he’s found someone who gives him googly eyes. ”
As she is talking, her voice is muffled with the fast current of blood moving loudly behind my ears. I didn’t even notice anyone was recording that night. But I wouldn’t since I was on the edge of hyperventilating from a panic attack.
Oh, God! I’m on the internet.
“Nora?” Kinley’s cool fingers cover my hand, jerking my attention back to her.
Allison pushes through the swinging door to the kitchen with a bowl in her hand. “Greek yogurt with honey and a sprinkle of granola.” She sets it in front of Kinley and looks between us. “What’d I miss?”
Kinley’s eyebrows are pulled down over her eyes. “I don’t know, I mentioned the video from the other night, and she looks like she saw a ghost.”