Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Hi, Mom. How are you?”
Ariel was heading over to Grant’s place even though it was late.
Her team had made a breakthrough with a few possible taglines, and the creative juices hit her like a shot of adrenaline.
She’d called Grant on a whim, expecting him to deny sex for sleep.
Instead, he growled into the phone to get her ass over pronto or he’d do bad things to it.
She’d immediately called an Uber and was only a few minutes away.
“Fine, I’m calling to check in. You seem to be busy, as usual. It’s a miracle you finally decided to pick up the phone.”
She winced, sensing it was going to be one of those calls. Her nerves stretched even as she prepared herself for what was coming. “Sorry, I got your message and was going to call you in the morning. I’ve been busy.”
“Anything special? Or anyone?”
Irritation bit but she ignored it. “Well, I am seeing someone I like.”
Her mother’s voice warmed. “How wonderful! For how long? Tell me all about him.”
“We’ve dated a few weeks now. He’s a yoga teacher.”
Silence fell. “A what?”
“Yoga, it’s an exercise that helps decrease stress.”
“I’ve heard of yoga but I thought it was for women. Does he make a living at it?”
Ariel laughed. “Yes, he seems to do fine.”
“Well, that’s what you get for dating city men, I guess. Has he been married before?”
“Yes.”
“Kids?”
The Uber pulled up to Grant’s block and she climbed out. “No.”
“Good, you don’t need to deal with stepchildren at this point. I told you if you keep waiting, they’ll all have been married already.”
She couldn’t do this now. Not when she was excited and focused on seeing Grant. Her mother had the tendency to suck all the joy out of her. “Yes, I know. I do have some other good news. I got a promotion at work.”
She held her breath and hoped.
A disgusted breath came over the line. “Another account, Ariel? Is that all you have to talk about? That’s the reason you can’t make any relationships work.
You keep putting work first and you’ll end up alone, while everyone is married and happy with children.
Is that really the type of life you want? Don’t you want to be a mother?”
Her chest tightened. She stopped outside the apartment building and hovered on the steps. “Eventually, but I still have plenty of time. You don’t understand, this is a big promotion. I’m moving to Chicago to work on a Super Bowl commercial. It’s what I’ve been working for my whole life.”
Ariel hated the childish voice inside that begged for her mother’s approval. Each time they spoke, she hoped for some sort of softening or understanding. She loved her mother and only wanted to be loved back. Why did she have to be so resentful of her happiness?
“Mom?” she whispered into the silence.
“I can’t believe this. You finally find a man you care for and you’re moving to Chicago for a silly job?
” Ice dripped over the line. “I’m tired of trying to help you.
Tired of defending you to your father and cousins and friends here at home.
We’d all hoped you’d be settled down by now but instead you’re about to start all over.
Does money mean that much to you? Over family? Over love?”
Pain sliced through her. Why did she sound so bitter? As if Ariel’s success had ruined her mother’s happiness? Her heart numbed as she forced out the words. “I have to go, Mom. I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry you’re disappointed.”
She clicked off and slid her phone into her Coach bag.
It took her a few moments to gather her composure. Straightening her shoulders, she swore she wouldn’t let the conversation bother her, not when she had an evening with Grant to look forward to.
She buzzed the intercom and the door opened. She climbed the steps to the third floor.
He waited for her with a smile, but it was the heat in his eyes and the joy on his face that eased some of the ache from her heart.
“Hey, baby,” he murmured, pulling her inside.
He wrapped her in a big hug, his muscled arms cradling her tight.
Ariel leaned in, seeking his warmth, breathing in the fresh cotton of his shirt.
He held her for a long time, as if he sensed she needed it.
“I poured you a glass of wine,” he murmured.
Ariel eased back. “Thanks. I’m sorry if I called too late.”
His finger caressed her cheek with tenderness. “I take my job seriously. I’m on call for my students twenty-four hours per day.”
She gave a mock frown. “All of them?”
Ariel expected him to tease her, but he uttered the words with an intensity that tripped her breath. “No. Only you.”
She hesitated, sensing a softening between them, but he turned and led her into the kitchen.
Grant’s apartment was spartan, with clean lines, leather furniture, and bamboo floors.
Black-and-white photographs of yoga asanas filled the walls.
The bookcase was cluttered with old and modern texts from Tantric Yoga to Yogananda to Ram Dass.
The scent of incense drifted in the air.
Meditation cushions and purple yoga mats were stacked on the far wall where he’d created his own practice space.
The rooms were comforting in all aspects, reflecting both his warmth and simplicity.
He handed her a glass of red wine. “You sounded excited when you called.”
She sipped the ruby liquid and nodded. “I was. We had a breakthrough today and it was what we needed.” She chattered on about the account, and he listened with his usual interest. But her initial elation had leaked away.
The more Ariel spoke, the more she realized most people wouldn’t care about a silly tagline.
It certainly wasn’t saving the world or helping anyone like Grant did every day.
Her mother’s words itched under her skin like a rash.
Maybe Ariel was too narrow-minded and selfish.
She loved her job, but always thought there’d be a time in her future when she was ready for marriage and a family.
Ready to embrace love in all its aspects.
Grant was a man who she could easily picture herself with and hated to leave behind.
God knows, she hadn’t even told him about Chicago!
She’d started to become fearful of losing him, but what did she expect?
She’d been the one who told him honestly her job would always come first.
Maybe she’d been making the wrong choices all along.
“Ariel?”
Her heart pumped madly and her hands sweat around her glass. “Yeah?”
“What were you thinking about? You went away for a few seconds.”
She shook her head and avoided his probing gaze.
“Sorry, just a bit tired.” Suddenly, being intimate with him was too much.
She wanted to run away and hide and lick her wounds in private.
She didn’t want him to see her so vulnerable and questioning of herself.
“I’m sorry, Grant, but I think I should go. ”
He closed the distance between them and plucked the glass from her hand. His voice was low and soothing. “Something happened to erase the light in your eyes.” He cupped her cheek and she leaned into it, half needing him, half hating him for the weakness. “Talk to me.”
“I’m not in the mood to have sex.”
A smile curved his lips. “Baby, I didn’t want to see you for an orgasm.”
“Then why did you?” she snapped. “Because I thought that’s what we were doing here.”
He didn’t rise to the bait. “No. Your body is delectable, but it’s your beautiful face that haunts me.
I like to watch every open expression that flickers across your face.
Hear your sharp tongue challenge me or curse, or make me laugh until I can’t wait to hear what you’re going to say next.
And your spirit? It’s fierce and strong and pure. Don’t you know you humble me?”
It was too much. His words broke through the last of her barriers. “Stop.”
His voice remained gentle yet relentless. “Something hurt you, brought up the demons.”
She gave a humorless laugh. “That would be my mother. She called right before I came here. Even though I knew the pattern, she still managed to make me feel like shit.”
“Why?”
Ariel glared. “Because everything I do is wrong. It’s never enough. I will never be who she wants me to be, and I’m so damn tired of trying.”
“Trying? Or caring?”
She sucked in a breath. He’d hit the target perfectly.
The truth shimmered through her and her shoulders slumped.
“She said I think I’m better than anyone else back home.
That my job will take away my opportunity for love or motherhood later on.
” The awful words stung like bees. “Maybe she’s right. ”
Silence blanketed the room. Finally, he spoke in a quiet voice. “I’m sorry she hurt you, Ariel. She’s wrong, but I can’t make you believe me right now. But I can help with something else. I’d like to do an exercise with you. It’s intimate, but not sexual. You’d need to trust me. Do you?”
Her instinct was to run. But her heart ached for his steadiness and comfort, some relief from the pain her mother had imprinted on her soul. Slowly, she nodded.
He took her hand and led her over to his meditation space, slowly guiding her to the ground.
Grant sat cross-legged, urging her to do the same.
He eased her close, positioning her so their knees were touching.
Lifting both his hands in the air, he waited until she pressed her palms against his.
Slowly, their fingers entwined, his skin warm and rough and comforting.
His gaze pierced; shredded; probed. He was bold, not afraid of what he’d see, and she gripped his hands tighter, refusing to look away.
His voice deepened to a hypnotic pitch. “I want you to breathe. Do nothing but concentrate on your lungs filling with air, then collapsing. Find your rhythm. Right now, that’s all you have to do.”
Usually, she floated her eyes shut but this time, she wanted to see him. She began to breathe, taking a while to find the silence and the pattern of air drifting in and out of her nostrils. Slowly, her muscles began to relax.
“Good, baby. Now breathe with me, in sync.” He pressed their clasped hands to his heart. “Feel my heartbeat. Feel as if we’re one and I have you. You’re safe. You can be who you are now.”
She floated her eyes shut, seeking out the steady beat of his heart against her fingers.
The silence grew and took over. Ariel became acutely aware of their bodies in the stillness; of each slide of breath and muscle shift; the rush of blood in her veins and the emptiness inside, where the pain had once been held.
Unbelievably, her eyes filled with tears, and a sob ripped from her throat.
He never broke position, but his fingers tightened, as if urging her to let go of whatever was currently flowing through her body.
She did. Tears escaped. She breathed. She listened. Time passed.
Slowly, on her own, she settled into a place of calm. Ariel didn’t know when she opened her eyes. He was staring at her with a fierce tenderness.
And she knew, in that moment, she loved Grant Madison.
They eased themselves from the floor with slow, careful motions.
Then he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.
His lips moved over hers, sipping, giving, calming.
He climbed under the covers and pulled her in close.
His skin was blistering hot, seeping into the last layer of numbness left in her body.
They slept.