Chapter 5 #3
My brows go up and my mouth opens and closes, but I have no idea what to say.
“I told you.” She gives me a playful nudge. “My intuition doesn’t lie. While he acted without your consent, he does love you.”
“But isn’t that wrong?”
“Yes,” she says simply and takes a slow step forward.
I fall into step beside her. “I feel like this could be one of those, if it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right, situations, which sounds cliché, I know.
But isn’t that the kind of love we all want?
Someone who would do anything for us…even the things we can’t do ourselves but know have to be done. ”
“I thought you wanted to find a way to keep you-know-who in the you-know-what,” I say, startled that she’s basically agreeing with Xavier forcing me to save myself by freeing the demon.
“I did,” she tells me with a nod. “But I also would’ve told you to do the same thing if it came down to it. Once you lose your soul…” She looks away, slowly shaking her head. “You can’t get it back, Wren.”
“I mean, if something can be taken, can’t it be given back?”
“Can you get your virginity back?”
“I guess when you put it that way…” I let out a breath. “Well, I still have a soul, and you-know-who is now on the loose.”
“As he was once before.” She reaches out and takes my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “That’s why you’re here. With your own kind. We’ll figure something out.”
I try to drop my guard and get a good read on her like I do with other humans. Maybe it’s because she’s a witch, or maybe it’s because she has no ill intentions at all, but I can’t pick up on anything right now.
“I just don’t understand why you’re helping me,” I tell her honestly.
“There are good people in this world,” she says. “You’re one of them. Why do you kill demons that otherwise wouldn’t affect you? A monster in California isn’t going to impact your life at all here in North Carolina, yet you travel and put yourself out there, anyway.”
“It’s…” I hesitate. “It’s my job.”
“The Order isn’t what it used to be,” she begins, “it was formed because people wanted to make a difference. They wanted to help others. It doesn’t even have to be supernatural.
Look at all the people in the world who become doctors, nurses, firefighters, teachers, police officers…
Most of them don’t do it for the money. Most of them do it because they feel the need to make a difference.
” She glances at me. “And if it makes you feel any better, maybe I do have a slightly selfish motive. I don’t want this demon out either.
My personal theory is that your family targeted demons who went after witches.
Many demons seek out other magical creatures because they have ways of gaining our powers. ”
“What?” I ask, even though I heard her clearly. “I thought our powers died with us.”
“They do. When a vampire tries to turn a witch into a vampire, they’re basically murdering her and bringing her back from the dead.
The witch she was dies, and she rises as something new, with a different type of magic coursing through her veins.
The magic she could wield before is gone.
” She pauses and looks at me as we continue to walk slowly down the hall.
“But demons aren’t vampires. They operate on an entirely different wavelength.
To put it simply, they have ways of taking our powers and using them for themselves. ”
“Oh, shit.” As if I didn’t feel bad enough already.
Marie laughs and lets go of my hand. “You have two choices, my dear. Accept that this is a shitty situation and figure out how to get out of it, or accept that this is a shitty situation and give up. You can choose to find a way forward. Just because you can’t see a path that leads to how things end well doesn’t mean you can’t make one.
Create one that will take you exactly where you want to go.
” She gives me a pointed look. “Or you can just not even try. Wallow. Totally give up.”
“I’ve never been one to give up.” There have been times I’ve wanted to, times I probably should have, but either stubbornness or strong will keeps me going.
“I know,” she says. “And I know I don’t really know you yet, but I can sense that energy about you.
” She smiles. “And another thing, if it makes you feel better about this not being some charity case—I wouldn’t put this much of my own energy into just anybody.
Something that tells me you’ll figure this out.
” She studies me for a second. “You have a tenacity about you. A stubbornness that’s beautiful.
You would make an excellent member of our coven, and call me selfish for wanting to recruit you.
” Her smile widens. “I want you on our team.”
“Oh,” I say, feeling both conflicted and flattered at the same time. Because there’s something else Marie isn’t saying. Something quite obvious that we’re both aware of.
I can’t join her team and become part of the coven and still be married to a vampire. I would have to choose: Xavier or my heritage.