Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
RYDER
I swipe the tears from her cheeks and let her see what I’ve been trying to hide. I needed to feel like I could trust her again, and I didn’t want my love for her to be clouded with anger.
“I’ve missed you so much, Ryder,” she whispers. “I never stopped loving you…I want you to know that.”
My heart is in my throat as her words flow through me. “I tried so hard, Eve, to let you go. I wanted to let you go so I could try to live again. I was so angry at you at times that I wanted to hate you. Hating you would have been easier than loving someone I couldn’t have. That’s why I asked Mackenzie out. I wanted to prove to myself that I could move on. I thought if I could just get past the first date and a kiss, things would get better. I was lying to myself, though, because deep down, I knew I could never love another. I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you on the beach, and whether you came back or not, my heart would always be with you.”
“It did hurt to hear about the other girls, but I’m the one who left and did this to us. I can’t blame you for trying to find happiness.”
“He did this to us, not you. You fought like hell to come back here and gave me a daughter. You’ve given me the greatest gift of all, and I love you even more for it. You’re my evening sun…my forever.”
“You’re my forever, too,” she smiles, and the light that’s been missing finally comes back to those blues.
I close the children’s book I’m reading and smile at Eve, who is snuggled by my side.
“She’s out like a light,” I whisper softly, glancing down at our daughter sleeping against me on the other side. I gently run my fingers through her baby curls. I’m so glad she has Eve’s hair. We always talked about what our kids would look like, and I always knew I wanted a daughter with her sunset hair.
I carefully pick her up off the couch, not wanting to wake her. Walking over to her bed, I tuck her in and kiss her forehead. She has the bear she loves so much tucked in her arms, and I can’t help but smile at the bear’s t-shirt. Eve told me she got it when she was pregnant, and it’s been with her since birth…a little piece of me that could be with her.
Eve stands up and holds out her hand to me.
“I have something I want to show you.” She leads us to the bedroom and shuts the door so we don’t wake Ryland. She’s wearing the shirt she stole from me. I was secretly pleased when she told me she wore something of mine while she was gone. I watch her open her suitcase and pull out some books and small boxes. She lays them on the bed and sits against the headboard, patting the spot next to her.
I walk over and see several scrapbooks and baby items in the boxes. I sit down beside her and pick up a pink beanie hat smaller than my palm. “Is this..?” I look at all the stuff, and my heart is lodged in my throat.
“I didn’t want you to feel like you missed a thing, so I made all these scrapbooks and photo albums for you. I kept everything that I thought was important. Let’s start from the beginning.” She picks up one of the albums and hands it to me. I lean back against the headboard, and she gets comfortable by my side. “This is before Ryland was born.”
I open it up and see pictures of Eve with a small baby bump. She did several in each month she was pregnant. Her handwriting fills the pages. I start to read some but stop when tears blur my eyes.
“I wrote to you almost every day. Everything is in there, Ryder. I wanted you to be able to feel like you were there with us, so I put my last three years down on paper.”
I blink back the tears and skim through it, knowing I’m going to read every single thing when I’m ready. I get to the last photos and see Eve’s big round belly. My finger skims over the picture. She’s beautiful pregnant…just like I knew she would be. Her eyes hold a sadness, though, that breaks me to the core. This should have been the happiest time of her life, and instead, she’s fighting through the pain to survive. I close the book, not being able to handle the thought of her going through this alone.
“I’m here now, Ryder. That’s all that matters,” she says, reading my thoughts.
“I should have been there protecting you from them. You were all alone, Eve. At least I had my family. I shouldn’t have given up looking for you. I should have known you would never have left me like that unless you were forced to.”
“Even if you had found me, my parents would have done everything in their power to destroy us and your family. We have no clue how far they would have gone to hurt us.”
“I had all these scenarios in my head about why you left, but none of them made sense. I ruled out kidnapping because you packed a suitcase, and the cops saw no signs of foul play. They basically gave me a pity look and told me you were probably seeing someone behind my back and left to be with him, but I refused to believe it. I knew what we had, so I hired a private investigator and even went to pay your parents a visit. No one was home, so I went to the next-door neighbor, and they told me your parents had moved a while back because of work. They obviously were paid off because if they had told me they left the same day as you, I would have known something was up. It never crossed my mind that they could be lying, especially when the PI didn’t come up with anything.”
“Miles and I think my father paid him off.”
“Yeah, I’m beginning to think that too,” I sigh. “In the end, I just accepted that the cops were right and I wasn’t good enough for you, just like your parents said. All along, though, you were fighting like hell to get back to me,” I say quietly.
“I had something worth fighting for.” She picks up another album and hands it to me. “ We have something worth fighting for. All our daughter is going to remember is how much her parents love her. We have a lot more blank albums to fill, but this time, we will do it together.”
I take the album and open it up, seeing our beautiful smiling daughter staring into the camera.
“She has so much joy in her eyes. She felt both our love even when we couldn’t be together. She’s a part of us, and no one can take that away. Now,” she says, flipping to the beginning of the album where she’s in the hospital, “just wait for the next birth because I’m so going to take advantage of you being there. I had no one but that poor nurse. I squeezed her hand so hard I thought I was going to break it,” she laughs trying to lighten the mood.
“Your parents weren’t there?” I ask, surprised.
“Hell no. I didn’t even tell them I went into labor. I knew they would try and control everything down to the name on the birth certificate. There was no way she was going to be named anything other than Ryland Savannah Montgomery. I just wanted to be able to sit there with my baby girl and tell her all about her daddy.” I feel some satisfaction that they weren’t a part of it. They didn’t deserve to be there over me.
“My sister was over the moon that you named Ryland after her.”
“She’s always been a sister to me. It was an easy decision to name her after two people I love most in the world.”
I look at the pictures of Ryland. There are so many at every stage, and we sit there for hours as I listen to Eve telling me about our daughter’s first years. It feels good to laugh together at Ryland’s cute stories without the pain being there.
“Thank you,” I say softly when I close the last book. “You gave me these moments back that I thought I would never have. All your letters and every detail you wrote made me feel like I was there.”
“You were with us, Ryder, in here,” she says, laying a hand on her heart.
I pick up the albums and lay them on my nightstand, wanting them close to me. She puts the memory boxes on the dresser before climbing back in bed.
She has her hair in a messy bun again with those sexy glasses I love so much. Her face is free of any makeup from her shower earlier, and she’s never looked more beautiful to me.
“Come here,” I say, pulling her to me. I flip her on her back and tower over her. “You’re finally back in bed with me where you belong.” I kiss her neck and take a small nip.
“I’m done with sofa city?”
“You are so done with sofa city. There won’t ever be another night where you won’t be sleeping beside me.” Her hands run down my back, and I press against her, straining against my sweats. She opens her legs wider and moans when I’m fully between her. Her fingers skim my waistband before sliding them inside and grabbing my ass, pulling me harder against her. I groan as I start to move.
Needing to feel her, I lift her shirt over her head and remove my sweats before sliding her thong down her body. The need to be inside her is unbearable as I settle back between her legs.
“I’m not on birth control, Ryder,” she whispers. “There was no reason to after Ryland because you weren’t there. We were so caught up in the moment before that I didn’t think about it until after.”
“I was going to ask you about that, but my mind was clearly elsewhere.” I gently brush back a piece of her hair before tracing the cute freckles dusting her nose. “Would it be so bad if you were to get pregnant? We’ve talked about wanting a big family before, and Ryland’s already two…” I let the words hang in the air between us.
“You want another baby? Now?” She looks surprised, and I laugh.
“Well, not at this exact moment. It does take nine months. Seeing all those pictures of you round with my baby has me feeling a certain type of way.” I lean down and swirl her nipple with my tongue before sucking hard. She gasps and digs her fingers into my hair. “I can’t wait to experience that with you,” I breathe against her skin before capturing the other one and slowly torturing her. “Fate brought us together and brought you back home to me. Maybe we should let fate decide on this, too.”
I see all the questions running through her head, and I bring my lips to hers to bring her back to the present moment. Our tongues seek each other as I pour my love into this kiss. I feel her hands rake down my back, and I moan as I feel the scratches.
“I know you are trying to plan everything out in your head, but all I need to know is one thing,” I say against her lips. “Am I your forever?”
“You know you are,” she says without hesitation.
“Then let me take care of everything else. I’m going to give you and our family the best fucking life possible, whether it grows now or later. The only thing you have to worry about right now is how many times you can cum before your body gives out.”
We may be doing things out of order and have a lot to figure out, but there’s no question when it comes to what I want—and what I want is her.
“We have a lot to make up for.” My eyes burn into her, and I watch her bite her lip. I glance down at her hungrily as her eyes darken with desire. “I think it’s going to be very fun playing catch up with you. A lot of orgasms have been missed in those three years apart.” I grin wickedly before kissing my way down her stomach. “How about we take care of one right now?”
She props herself up on her elbows, and I give her a devilish grin.
“You may want to brace yourself for this one. Dinner was hours ago, and I’m suddenly starving for my favorite meal.”
Heat immediately pools in those blues as I take a long lick up her center. My eyes close as I savor her. She’s always been the best damn thing I’ve ever tasted. My tongue comes out, and I lick my lips, not wanting to miss a single drop.
“God, I’ve missed your taste. It’s like you were put on this earth to satisfy my every craving,” I breathe against her, my warm breath teasing her throbbing center. She collapses back on the bed and arches her hips. I chuckle slightly against her as I scrape my light scruff over her swollen bud, causing her to moan. “Eager for me, my evening sun?”
“Ryder, please,” she begs. My breathing increases at her words. I love it when she begs. “Please taste what’s yours.”
A low growl escapes me as my hands grip her ass tightly before I dive in deep. My body is slammed into overdrive as the need to devour her overtakes me. I’m like an animal that just got its first meal in days. She grips the sheets tightly and arches her head back as my tongue works her into a state of obliviation. The whole world disappears around me as all my focus goes to pleasing her.
I moan against her skin as my tongue dives deep. My thumb rubs her clit hard as her orgasm rips through her body. My name leaves her lips as she grips the sheets tighter. I don’t stop until every last drop belongs to me.
Panting hard, I can tell she’s disorientated by the rush of emotions. Before she can compose herself, my mouth is on her again, biting and sucking my way up her stomach and breasts. I take a long pull on her nipple, and she whimpers beneath me before my lips find hers.
I’m coated with her taste, and I moan at the thought of her tasting herself on those beautiful lips.
“That’s one down,” I whisper against her lips. “Let’s try for two.”
I slide into her and groan against her neck. She wraps her legs around me and lifts her hips to meet me as I go deeper. Unlike earlier, when emotions were high, and touches were rough, our bodies mold together and savor every graze of the skin. My hands find hers as I pin them above her head, interlacing our fingers together. Our eyes hold each other’s as if our souls are silently communicating.
Tears gather in her eyes, and she blinks them away. I lean down and kiss them. The saltiness hits my tongue.
“You’re home, Eve. You don’t ever have to worry about being alone again. I’m never going to let it happen.” I whisper the words as I continue to pour love onto her.
Our bodies move together as one as if no time has passed. I feel her body begin to tighten around me as a deep pull starts to form in my body.
“Mmmmm. That’s it, my little sun. Let go for me.” I let go of her hands and sit up further. “Look at us, Eve. Look at how good we fit together. Your body was made for me.”
We both look down and watch as our bodies join together. I slide in and out of her, glistening from her arousal as she squeezes tightly around me. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen. I reach down and circle her clit with my thumb.
“Ryder,” she moans. She closes her eyes and arches back.
“Eyes on me, beautiful. I want to see those blues when we lose ourselves together.”
I meet her gaze and see everything in them. All the emotions that I feel for her are staring right back at me. That’s all it takes for my body to go over the edge as my orgasm slams into me. A growl escapes as I grab her hips and go deeper, pouring inside her. My name leaves her lips with a groan as we both pulse together. She cries out my name as another wave hits her. Our bodies no longer belong to us but to the person in front of us. It’s always been that way.
I slowly pull out once the last of the tremors have left our bodies. I bring her back against me as I hold her tightly to my chest. I breathe in her scent as we lay there.
“I love you,” she whispers.
“I love you, too.” I barely get the words out and keep it together after what we just felt, especially when I thought I would never have it again.
For the first time in a long time, I’m not dreading the night and being alone with my thoughts. She snuggles up against me and sighs as I lay there, listening to her breathing. Exhaustion from the past few days catches up, and I quickly fall asleep to the rhythm of her breaths, feeling like I’m finally whole again.
Something’s not right, I think to myself as I rush home from work. It’s been over an hour, and she still hasn’t texted me back. Her phone goes to voicemail once again, and I throw it on the passenger seat next to me. I whip through traffic, not caring if I get stopped. I’m out the door and running to our apartment the minute I pull into the parking space.
Throwing open the door, I call her name, and eerie silence is the only thing I’m met with. I walk quickly to our bedroom and stop when I notice clothes thrown on the bed like someone was in a hurry.
My heart beats painfully in my chest as I take in the disarray and notice her suitcase is missing, along with several other personal items. What the fuck is going on? Dread fills my body as I try to think back to anything that would have caused her to leave. Everything has been perfect, and I can’t think of a single reason why she’s not here waiting eagerly for me to get home, just like she always is.
I call her phone again and hear the ring coming from the nightstand. I see her phone sitting there and slowly sink to the floor, my legs unable to support me any longer. This can’t be happening. She wouldn’t just leave me like this. I spend the next two hours calling everyone we know, driving up and down the town, trying to find her. No one has heard from her. It’s like she’s vanished into thin air.
Pain like I’ve never felt before seeps into my body as I sit on the edge of the bed. I reach into my nightstand and take the velvet box out. I’ve been saving since the day I met her, knowing without a doubt I would ask her to marry me one day. The diamond sparkles as the light catches it before it becomes blurry from the tears sliding down my face. I hear a strangled cry before realizing it came from me. I vaguely remember my front door opening and my brothers surrounding me, but not even their presence can calm me. She’s gone. My Eve is gone.
“Ryder, wake up.” I hear Eve’s voice in the distance as I toss and turn on the bed. I blink and open my eyes. I’m covered in sweat. My heart is beating fast in my chest as I try to take in air. Eve comes into focus, her blue eyes filled with worry. “It’s okay, I’m here. It was just a nightmare.” She throws her arms around me and holds me tight. “I’m here,” she keeps repeating.
“You left me,” I choke out, still feeling the effects of the dream. It’s the same one that has haunted me for years.
“I know I did, and I’m so sorry,” she says, clinging to me. “I’m here now, though, and I’ll never leave you again.” I hold on to her tightly, afraid I’m still dreaming…afraid she’s not real. She keeps reassuring me she’s not going anywhere. My breathing finally returns to normal, but I keep my hold on her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I get these intense dreams sometimes, and they feel so damn real,” I say, taking a ragged breath.
“I get them, too,” she whispers. “It was really bad the first year.”
“Yeah, it was,” I sigh into her hair. I feel her place kisses on my chest before moving lower. My body instantly reacts as she makes her way down my stomach. “Eve…” I moan and close my eyes as her tongue comes out to taste me.
“Let me help you forget,” she breathes against my skin. “I want to replace every single painful memory with a beautiful one.” She takes me in fully, and I grip her hair tight. She moans against me, and I suddenly want more. “Turn around for me, baby. I want to taste you while I’m deep inside your mouth. She quickly turns around, and I grab her ass, bringing her down on me as my tongue finds her.
Her moan vibrates against me as we both enjoy the taste of one another. When I reach up and rub my thumb hard over her clit she pulls me deeper to the back of her throat. We both explode together, our cries muffled as we take everything that is offered. I feel her body constrict, and I take my time enjoying her taste on my lips. Her body goes limp as she releases me. I take a small nip on one of her cheeks before hauling her back to my side.
“God, that was fucking amazing,” I breathe against her neck as I spoon her from behind.
“Yes, it was,” she sighs sleepily. We instantly drift off back to sleep, but this time, I dream of only the good.