Chapter Fourteen
April
S imon blew out a silent breath as he held the door open for Eva and Matty, who she held tight in her arms.
This was it.
He’d told his mother that he was bringing Eva and her son today and, in typical Mary Jameson style, his mother had smiled and said that she was more than welcome, and could they bring a plate?
Eva had made a killer potato salad, something he knew would go down a treat with the whole lot of them, and there he stood with his hands full, a huge, covered Pyrex bowl between them, and a large bag over his shoulder.
Matty’s bag.
The more he was around the little boy, the more relaxed he became. He and Eva had only been seeing each other for a few weeks, but he knew deep in his gut that Eva was it.
He glanced at her. Eva and that little boy in her arms had come to mean so much, so soon. And Matty had taken to him like sand at a beach. Whenever Simon was around, Matty had to be there, too. The kid pushed at all his barriers and knocked them over, one by one, refusing to allow Simon’s brain to get in the way and mess things up.
Sure, he still panicked. He had no idea what he was doing in regard to kids, but he was learning, and Eva was so damned patient with him, not insisting on familiarity beyond what he could cope with. Matty? Not so much. He was in his space from the moment he knew Simon was nearby.
And surprisingly, he’d found he could cope with quite a lot.
Matty had been running around all morning chattering about the barbecue, excited to be going somewhere he thought was a party.
Simon stepped forward and held back the grin that wanted out. The whole damned lot of them were here today. And he knew exactly why. His mother would’ve told them all to be there for Eva’s first family barbecue. Max had his back to the doorway, bent over in front of that bloody barbecue, trying to coax it to light.
Simon shook his head and placed the bowl on the table. It was past time they bought their father a new one, but he actually thought the old guy might cry if they got rid of the ancient thing. Emma and Ryan had already seen him, big smiles on their faces. The others were currently chatting away about who-knows-what.
“Hey, everyone.”
All eyes turned their way as one. Goosebumps peppered Simon’s arms.
That’s unnerving. Do we always do that?
That was probably a big yes .
His mother came forward, a large smile on her face. “Eva! So good to see you again. And who is this?” she asked, her voice softening as she walked up to Eva and Matty.
She already knew Matty’s name, and Simon had shown her photos.
Matty’s face fell, and he leaned backward into Eva’s shoulder, Narnas hugged tight to his chest. Uncertainty oozed from him, and he glanced at Simon. Simon’s gut twisted at how anxious he looked. Matty turned to him and held out his arms.
Simon blinked. It was the first time he’d done that. Matty had crawled all over him while sitting on the lounge, seemingly having no concept of personal space, but he’d never reached out like this.
He stepped forward and took hold of the little guy and wrapped him tight and safe in his arms.
Matty turned his face into Simon’s shoulder and side-eyed Simon’s mother, his toy crushed up tight beneath his chin, melting against his body.
Simon looked up to see his entire family looking at him in complete shock. Heat flooded his face. He looked at Max, expecting to see disappointment and perhaps even hurt, and was surprised to see only happy encouragement staring back at him. Hope .
Simon lifted Matty and settled him properly on his hip. “You all have met Eva,” he motioned with an incline of his head to his right. “This is Matty. He’s three, and this tiny friend of his is Narnas. We really, really don’t want anything to happen to Narnas. Okay?”
The bananas toy was the kid’s best friend, his comfort toy. The sun and moon shone out of the darned thing. He needed to make sure they all understood that.
Several heads nodded and a smattering of, “Sure,” and, “Of course,” hit his ears.
One glance at Eva had Simon’s heart flip-flopping in his chest. The gorgeous, slow smile that widened her mouth sent shivers all over him and tightened his belly to the point of pain.
He sent her a big smile in response and leaned over to kiss her forehead, then faced his family. “I thought we were having a barbecue. Where’s the food, guys?”
Chuckles and replies bounced back, and he grinned at them all. Darby grabbed Eva by the arm and dragged her to a chair next to her own. She looked at Simon and he nodded, receiving a smile in return. A soft touch to his left shoulder had him turning to face his mother.
“Welcome back, my boy,” she whispered.
Heat stung Simon’s eyes, and his smile faded. “I’m sorry I was gone so long.”
Mary Jameson leaned up to kiss his cheek. “I always knew you would find your way home.”
He looked back to where Eva sat, then down at the little boy in his arms. His heart still ached for what could’ve been, an ache that was distant and elusive; but it also hurt in a good way. He had a feeling that his future sat in that chair beside his sister and rested in his arms.
He looked back at his mother’s kind face. “I just needed someone to point me in the right direction.”
*
Simon looked up from his half-drunk coffee. Empty plates lay scattered across the huge outdoor table in his parents’ screened entertainment area. Matty had wriggled down off his lap after the shortest time known to man when he’d spotted Finn and his bear, leaving Eva to watch him like a hawk until she was happy he and Finn were getting along.
He’d been right—they got on like a house on fire.
Giggles and squeals of delight had echoed around the area the whole time, only stopping when the kids had been forced to stop and eat. The noise had resumed with them chasing each other, each with their respective toy, until they’d run out of energy and fallen asleep on the huge, soft floor pillows his mother and Emma had brought out from the living room.
Max noticed his glance in the direction of the sleeping kids. He leaned closer to Simon’s side and inclined his head at them. “That’s a good sign, don’t you think?”
Simon nodded. “I was hoping this would happen. I had a feeling they’d get along.”
Max chewed on the toothpick he’d picked up off his plate. He kept his gaze on the little ones. “I know it’s early days, Si—very early days—but there’s something you might want to consider.”
Here we go.
Simon raised an eyebrow, leaned back in his seat, and took a sip of almost-cold coffee. “Which is?”
Max’s gaze slid to him, his eyes warm, but even Simon could see the seriousness deep within them. A shiver of premonition ran down his spine.
“Eva. She’s young. She has a toddler. Have you given any thought to the fact that she might want more kids one day, and maybe quite soon?”
All the breath hissed from Simon’s lungs, leaving him struggling to hide the fact from anyone nearby. His hands started to shake so hard he had to place his mug back on the table and clench them into fists. He looked down at his lap and picked at the worn patch on his jeans near his knee.
That’ll break through soon.
“Si?”
Max’s soft voice may as well have been thunder echoing around the large outdoor area. He cringed as if it were.
“Yeah. I hear you.” He finally managed to haul in enough breath. “I know. I’ve… avoided thinking about it too much yet, but yeah, I know.”
Max was quiet for a moment, then persisted. “I know it’s difficult. Heck, it must scare the living hell out of you. But it’s something you’ll need to discuss with her. She deserves your honesty.”
Simon nodded, still picking at the worn threads. “I know,” he whispered. He cleared his throat as quietly as he could. “It terrifies me. I couldn’t handle it if…”
He closed his eyes and blew out a shaky breath, then felt the calming sensation of a strong hand gripping his nape. He relaxed into it, knowing his brother was there for him, no matter what.
“I’m here, Si. If you ever need me. I’m always here.”
Simon nodded as best he could. “I know,” he repeated quietly.
The happy giggle of a baby close by caught his attention and opened his eyes, pulling him from the spiral he refused to let take him down, yet again. He’d cross that particular bridge if and when it became necessary. It didn’t mean he couldn’t think about it in the meantime, regardless of how much he wanted to avoid the topic.
Millie stood from her chair on the other side of Max and faced them. “I’m heading for the bathroom. Can you take Juliet?” Millie asked Max. Simon sat up a little and rubbed his palms on his jeans. It was time.
“I can take her.”
He looked between his oldest brother and best friend, and his wife, both their faces showing the same stunned expression.
“I understand if you don’t—”
“No!” they both burst out at the same time.
Millie moved around and stood beside him. Juliet squirmed and jiggled when she saw Simon looking at her, her high-pitched squeal making his ears ring.
“Are you sure?” Millie asked, nervous anticipation washing over her face in waves.
Simon sent her what he hoped was a confident smile. “Yes.”
One word. That was all he needed to say. That was all they needed to hear.
Millie held the squirming one-year-old out to him and he took her, his hands trembling slightly. She was walking around furniture now, but couldn’t quite do it by herself, yet. Juliet squealed again, her face erupting with huge smiles as her sock-covered feet landed on Simon’s thigh and she bounced in place, her hands clamping to his face, her eyes wide and expressive, as if drinking in his features.
“Hey, Juliet. It’s nice to finally meet you properly.”
A strange sound brought Simon’s eyes up to those of his brother and he was surprised to see the shine of tears glinting there.
“Max? You okay?”
“Yeah.” Max nodded. He breathed deeply. “Yeah, I’m good.”