Chapter Forty
MATO
THAT EVENING at dinner, between kids talking, dishes passing, and forks scraping on plates, questions are asked about the visit, and Breanna fills the family in on what’s happening.
Marley has more questions than anyone else, and her eyebrows twitch together when she finds out there are distant relatives who might have a say.
Mr. Harlow is quiet as he listens, his eyes narrowing in some places as he watches his daughter struggle to keep her composure. She’s trying to keep a brave face, but I hear the slight shake in her voice when she relays what Ms. Briggs said.
His gaze lands on me a few times, and I wonder what’s going through his head.
After dinner, Koda is showing me his progress on a mechanical hand toy that Breanna bought him.
The age range for it says eight to twelve, but he had it put together after a few hours sitting on the library floor.
He prefers the library to any other room when he’s tinkering with his toys; it could be the feeling of peace in the room.
He’s showing me how it works by putting it on his hand when Mr. Harlow steps into the doorway. “Mato, can I show you something in the barn?”
I have a feeling he doesn’t really want to show me anything, and I nod as I squeeze Koda’s shoulder. His eyes flick between us. “Can I come, too?”
Mr. Harlow chuckles and says, “Only if you want to be put to work.”
Koda looks between us for a second, confusion on his face. “I don’t mind; I’ll help.”
Waving his hand toward himself, Mr. Harlow tilts his head with a smile. “Okay, come on. There’s always work to be done in the barn.”
Koda smiles and leaves his toy on the floor to follow us.
As we walk through the kitchen, Breanna is sitting at the breakfast nook with Nova on her lap, a crayon in each of their hands as she draws shapes and helps Nova to trace them.
Nova is behind, she should have started kindergarten this year, but it’s too late to enroll now, so she’ll be a year behind the other kids when she goes next year.
Breanna was also scared that enrolling her late, after the little girl’s life had changed so much, would make it harder for her to adjust. Marley’s agreeing made the decision easier.
Just before I pass them, Breanna looks up at me, her eyes full of affection, before she looks back down and laughs at something Nova says about the shapes.
There.
That right there is what I came back for. Just one look from her and I feel like life can’t get any better.
We walk down to the barn, each with a different reason. Mr. Harlow obviously wants to say something to me away from everyone else, I want to make sure he knows how I feel, and Koda thinks he’s coming to help with something.
Following him through the barn, Mr. Harlow stops at a weed eater that is sitting on the floor in the equipment room and points at it.
“Hey, Koda, I can’t figure out why this darn thing keeps leaking.
It won’t start.” He picks it up, and he and Koda bend over it as Mr. Harlow shows him where there is a little leak and asks him to see if he can figure it out.
He sets a large toolbox on the floor next to it, and Koda plops down cross-legged. Without a second thought, he opens the toolbox and starts looking for whatever tool he thinks he needs, immediately getting lost in his tinker world.
Mr. Harlow tips his head for me to follow him. I give Koda a look over my shoulder and, in a low voice, ask, “Are you worried he might take too much apart?”
He chuckles in his deep, gravely way and waves his hand in Koda’s direction. “No. I’m pretty sure I know what’s wrong with it and I already planned to throw it away and get a new one.”
I follow him to the tack room, and we step inside, leaving the door open. He stops in front of the desk that Gray uses and hooks his thumbs in his jeans pockets. He’s quiet for a moment before he says, “You know what she went through.” It’s not a question.
I nod. “Yes, I do.”
“All of it?”
I nod again. “The miscarriage? Yes.”
“And the infertility part?”
I nod.
He breathes out slow through his nose, and I hear Felix shift in his stall across the way as he lifts his head over the gate.
His dark eyes watch us, wondering if we’re going to give him any attention.
“She doesn’t know I know. About the miscarriage.
Marley told me and asked me not to say anything to Breanna.
” He looks at the wall over my shoulder.
“That girls always been more private than this family ever was. So, I haven’t told her I know, and I won’t because…
” He stops, and his eyes shift back to me. “She’s already carrying enough.”
I nod with a sigh and slide my fingers into my pockets. “She is.”
“She’s been carrying it alone for a long time.
” His eyes are the same color blue as his daughter’s, and right now they are very direct.
“I’m not going to tell you what to do. You’re a grown man and she’s a grown woman who makes her own decisions.
I’m not sure whether to call it stubbornness or independence, but she always has.
” He pauses. “But I’ll tell you this. You being here, being steady for her to lean on, matters more than you probably know. ”
My throat is tight, so I don’t say anything and just nod.
“Those kids need it. And so does she.” He shifts his weight to the other leg. “Even if she won’t admit it.”
The piece of jewelry I’ve had in my pocket for a week is warm against my fingers as I pull it out. “She admitted it, just a few days ago.” I hold the ring up, the diamonds catching the overhead lights. “I plan to ask her if she’ll let me be there permanently.”
The corner of his mouth twitches, and he looks at the ring between us before looking back at me. “About goddamn time.”
About that time, a weed eater starts and sputters and then roars to life in the other room. We stare at each other in surprise; Mr. Harlow’s eyebrows are practically in his hairline. “I’ll be damned.”