Chapter 10
Max
My knuckles split on the third jab, but I keep going, leaving smears of red across the vinyl.
The chain creaks overhead with each impact.
Sweat stings my eyes. I fucked up. I’ve always hated to drink to the point I don’t remember shit.
I let the one woman Rainey despised with a passion give me a ride home.
I had double-checked my phone to make sure I called Carlos because I sure as hell didn’t have Annette’s number.
Annette had given me her number years ago in Tahoe.
I deleted it the moment I knew it bothered Rainey.
I don’t know why Carlos sent her. It was my fault for allowing myself to get drunk like my father. I probably scared her.
I know that is not the only reason she needed her space. I understand she’s going through a lot. Her head is a scattered mess. If only she’d allow me to be her rock, but for now, I’ll give her what she needs. Space. I’ll help her in ways she won’t know what I’m doing.
Blood trickles down my knuckles, numbing the pain in my chest. Not enough, though.
When I got home and found it empty once again, it was the worst feeling imaginable. Like a woman getting a divorce, she took some of her stuff and Daisy. That’s fine that she took the dog. She needs Daisy to protect her when I’m not there.
It’s been four long, miserable days without her.
I’ve picked up the phone so many times only to delete the texts before I send them.
I’ve slept on my side. I always sleep on my side.
Then at three in the morning, I rolled over.
Her side of the bed. Vanilla. The lotion she rubs on her perfect legs.
How fucking cruel is that? And our bathroom is filled with her women’s products.
I cursed when I untangled a thread of her hair wrapped around my balls.
She literally has me by the balls, and she doesn’t even realize it.
I meant what I said. She will always be mine as I am hers.
If she fucking thinks I’d fall in love with another woman, then she’s out of her damn mind. I’ll engrave each letter of her name on my knuckles so she can get a better view than the tattoos on my chest.
“Cálmate, Max. Why in the fuck are you not wearing gloves?” Carlos shouts, running out of his office. I haven’t told anyone about Rainey and me. It’s no one’s damn business. My jaw clenches as I throw two more jabs. Carlos’s hand clasps my shoulder, pulling me back. “What’s going on?”
“I have a lot in my head,” I bark a little too harshly.
“You’ve been out of your game these past couple of days.”
I have, and for good reasons. “Rainey wanted us to break up,” I admit to him only because he’s a role model in my life.
His eyebrows jump. “What?” He shakes his head. “No, I don’t believe it.” Carlos’s gray hair is visible through the light. Somehow, I’d missed that he’s aged in the last couple of months.
“She’s going through a lot,” I tell him, because she is.
“She is, but it’s nothing you can’t sort out.” He squeezes my shoulder. “Come on, let’s get your knuckles cleaned up. You can’t be doing this shit. Put gloves on if you want to hit the bags. You have a fight in eight months.”
“Sure, Rainey and I can work on it, but it’s not that simple, Carlos. She’s been through hell and back.”
He turns on the faucet. I slide my knuckles under the stream, the water pinking immediately. My breath hisses through my teeth. Dammit, I should have worn gloves, but in the heat of the moment, I need to release steam.
“I get it, but maybe this is something you both could use for a bit. She just needs space to work things out in her head. Before the accident, she was leaving. Just give her time, hijo.”
I stare at the pink water. It’s a reminder of how I almost lost her when she fell down cement stairs.
She ran off because she wanted space to think.
She was worried I wouldn’t give it to her.
Carlos was there at the Underground. He witnessed it all.
I pat my knuckles on a paper towel. “I know. I’m giving her space. I’ll be here when she’s ready.”
Carlos heads back to his office, and Leo and Xander are arguing over something in the corner. Not surprising. They fight over dumb shit. Leo glances over Xander’s shoulder and sprints to me. “Hey, bro.”
“Hey.”
Leo puffs his cheeks. “I’m sorry, dude, are you okay? How are you doing? I know breakups can be hard. My advice is to listen to breakup songs while you cry in bed.”
“Dammit, Leo, didn’t I tell you to shut the fuck up, man?” Xander says.
Leo’s lips go into a straight line, then he sighs. “I tried, but I needed to check on him.”
I guess that’s what the argument was about.
Rainey must have told him. He spends a lot of his time chatting with her. “How is she?” I ask instead of answering him.
“She’s hanging in there. Umm…give her time to work things out in her head. She’ll come around. Her sister is flying in to spend time with her after everything that happened.” He grins, talking about Bethany.
Everyone has been telling me she’ll come around. What if she doesn’t?
“Keep an eye on her, will you?” Everyone else is gone. It’s just us left at the gym.
He nods, removing the gloves from his hands and tossing them into his bag. “Yeah, of course. I’m going to the house later.”
I lift one brow at him.
He laughs. “Umm, I offered to help tidy up the place for when her sister arrives.”
“When is she coming?”
“Oh, tonight, late. I’m going to drive her.”
Thank god. I’m thinking of asking her if she would be okay if Johnny drives her around. When she plays music in the car, it’s like she forgets there are cars around her. She dances and sings her heart out.
“All right. Get her home safe.” I take out my wallet and give him a hundred-dollar bill. “Get her something to eat. Yeah? And don’t tell her I gave you money.”
He exhales, and it looks like he’s about to bawl his eyes out. “Okay. I better go then.” Leo pats my back. “See ya.”
He’s walking toward the door when I shout, “Leonardo.”
“Yeah?”
“You fall in love with her, I’ll fuck you up!” I joke. Kind of.
He smiles, a hint of arrogance glimmering in his eyes. “I like the sister, and besides, I’m not looking to fall in love with anyone. I’m just looking for a good time.”
When he disappears into the parking lot, I swing my bag over my shoulder.
“Cabrón. I love the guy, but he’s a bigmouth.
” Xander pops gum in his mouth and swings his gym bag over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry about you and Rainey. I know you don’t want to hear that things will get better, but they will.
After everything you’ve been through, I’m sure you’ll end up working it out. ”
“Hope so.”
We walk to our cars. A light breeze hits. “Do you want to get something to eat?” Xander juts his head to the restaurant across from the gym. “They make great milanesa. It’s one of my sister’s favorites.” Before I can ask him about his sister, he shuts it down.
Xander and I toss our overstuffed duffel bags into the trunk of our own cars.
We drive across the cracked asphalt to the lit-up restaurant.
I’ve been here a few times with Leo and once with Rainey, when she ordered the hot, red enchiladas.
She couldn’t stop talking about it for days.
I’ve only had their street tacos, double-wrapped in a homemade corn tortilla, topped with all their garnishes. They were amazing.
My raw knuckles fucking throb with each heartbeat, the deep cuts along the ridge of bone pulsing hot and angry when I release my grip from the steering wheel. Rainey always likes to attend to my injuries, her cool fingers working antiseptic into the wounds with gentleness.
My heart aches at the thought of not having her close to me.
I built a security company to find her, only to lose her again.
And somehow, she still slipped away. It has taken everything in me not to look at her security cameras at her work and the ones outside Rainey’s home.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she changes companies.
My phone buzzes. A voicemail from the police department—an update on my pop's missing person report. He might be a dick, but he’s still my blood.
It’s not like him to leave this long. There was a part of me that dreamed he’d be watching my fight.
It’s been two weeks since I had dinner with Xander.
It was nice to keep my mind busy. He opened up more about his family than I expected.
Unlike me, he’s very close to his dad, and that’s good to hear.
Throughout the week, I’ve been exhausting myself from sunrise to sundown.
Going for my morning runs before heading to work, dealing with my promoter and whatever social media nonsense Henry has lined up, then the gym.
I’m so tired I crash out. This helps me avoid taking Rainey captive and tying her to our bed. It’s crossed my mind.
I’ve asked Leo how she’s doing every day. He says she’s okay, that she masks the pain in her eyes. He also said she is enrolling at the university, which is great for her. I want her to live her dream, not her mom’s. She can honor her memory by living her dream.
It’s been fourteen days without seeing her face. I click and unclick her name on my server. I wanted to give her space and her privacy. But you know what? Fuck that.