32. Dallas
DALLAS
Duke said he loves me. After a night out of drinking, when he had told me he would be working.
Am I being gaslit?
I genuinely don’t trust myself to see red flags anymore since, apparently, I missed every last one when it came to my ex.
I’m lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Duke is still asleep beside me. I look over at his handsome face.
A tear slips out of the corner of my eye. Yesterday, I was so happy.
I felt like we’d made it to this place where we could finally admit we were ready to be together, to share our feelings and commit to a relationship. Then he went out and partied, came home drunk, and told me he loves me. I don’t even think it counts, saying it for the first time while intoxicated.
I roll out of bed, my anger growing with each passing moment. I’m wearing one of his cutoff T-shirts and nothing else.
Today, I’m supposed to get the boys back from my ex. I miss them so much, it physically hurts. I check my phone to see if he texted me anything.
Nothing. I send him one.
Dallas
What time do you want to meet up today?
Our agreement states that he has to return them to me by noon, but a lot of times, he wants me to get them earlier than that. He’s allowed to drive places with them, but he’s not supposed to leave Kowata County—for now.
I watch the screen to see if he’ll reply, but I get nothing. Duke stirs, and I realize I don’t even want to talk to him right now. I start packing up my stuff to leave.
“Where are you going?”
“Back to my house,” I say calmly.
I’m sure he has a list of excuses for last night, but I’ve decided I don’t want to hear them. If he still wants to live the drinking, partying life, then that’s his choice.
But I need someone who’s past that phase. I have two kids, and I spent enough years wondering where my first husband was and being told it was none of my business. I’m not interested in dealing with his excessive drinking from a man ever again.
I’d rather be alone.
“Dallas, baby, please, let’s talk about this.”
I hate that I already want to hear him out, to let him explain.
Is this a pattern that’s going to repeat? Am I being stupid again, trusting someone who’s just playing a part until I’m stuck with him and leaving feels impossible?
I open my mouth to tell him that I don’t want to hear it, but a phone ringing interrupts us. He reaches for the drawer on the nightstand and pulls out the device.
That’s an odd place to keep his phone.
“Hello?”
I hate how sexy his grumpy morning voice is. After listening to the response, his demeanor immediately changes. He sits up and steps out of bed, a grimace crossing over his features.
“When?”
My spine tingles with awareness. Something is wrong.
“Well, fuck, you’d better stay on him.”
I hear a panicked voice on the other end, but I can’t make out what he’s saying.
“I’m coming now. Do not lose him—you understand me? Or I’ll break your nose.” He hangs the phone up and starts yanking clothes on.
“What’s wrong?”
He grabs my shorts off the ground and tosses them to me. “Put these on.”
I pull them up, my heart hammering. “Duke, tell me, who was that?”
His shirt is still unbuttoned, revealing his taut abs when he reaches into his end table and pulls out a pistol. He checks the ammunition, puts one into the chamber, and grabs another full box. He stuffs the gun in the back of his waistband.
I gape at him as he grabs my hand and pulls me out the bedroom door.
“Duke—”
But he’s already on the phone again. He puts his boots on quickly and grabs his cowboy hat and rope. The only shoes I have over here are the pink slides I wore last night, so I put them on and follow him out.
It’s a cool, misty morning. The sun is just starting to rise. My nipples perk up in the cold. He jerks open the passenger door.
“Get in the truck.” His voice is a low growl.
I’ve never heard him speak like this, so commanding.
I do what he said and climb into his pickup. My hands are clammy. He’s already moved around to the driver’s side. He throws the rope on the dashboard and turns the key in the ignition.
We peel out of the driveway.
“Duke, talk to me.” I dig my fingernails into my palms.
His phone is already ringing, and he has it set to speaker.
“Hello?” Holden answers.
“We got a problem.”
“Jensen already called me. Where are you?”
“Just left the ranch. I’m following his location.”
“Did you tell her?”
My eyes bug out of my head.
“Tell me what?” My chest feels hollow.
Duke’s speedometer has reached ninety-five miles an hour and my stomach is about to expel every last drop of bile.
He licks his lips, eyes on the road. “Matt took off with the boys. He’s headed toward Oklahoma.”
My head spins. I wonder if I heard him right, gripping the door handle. “What?”
“Dallas, we’re going to find them. My guy is following him, and he called as soon as they crossed the county line,” Duke says to reassure me.
My entire life is flashing before my eyes. If Matt is really kidnapping the boys, there’s a chance I could never see them again. My lower lip trembles.
“I—I should call him.”
Duke shakes his head at the same time Holden speaks.
“No, I wouldn’t do that. Then he’ll know someone is following him. Let’s just keep eyes on him.”
Duke reaches over and grabs my hand. My body feels frozen, and his skin is so warm.
“We’re going to follow him. When is he supposed to have them back to you?”
“By noon.” My voice is hoarse.
“It could be nothing. He’s breaking the agreement, leaving the county, but a judge is just gonna slap him on the wrist if that’s all he does. It’s got to be more than that if anything is going to stick,” Holden says calmly. “I’ll start following behind you.”
I feel like I’m going to be sick. I can’t see clearly out of the windshield to tell where we are.
“I’m right here. Try to breathe. We won’t let him hurt them or take them from you.” Duke squeezes my hand.
I cling to him, sucking in a sob.
“Duke, what do you need me to do? We’re on thin ice right now. You know that.” Holden’s voice is clipped.
“I’ll call you when I have something. We’ve still got a few hours before he’s so far that we know he’s not coming back.”
“All right. Let me know.” Holden ends the call.
Duke pulls me closer to him and kisses the top of my forehead. I cling to his side, my body feeling foreign and weak.
“Maybe he’s just going somewhere, and it’ll make sense when he gets there. We don’t know what he’s planning.” He says.
I press my face into his chest, trying not to let the tears take over. If I start crying now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.
“That’s what scares me …” I whisper.
“Listen, baby, I need you to tell me everything there is to know about what he’s capable of. Where do you think he’s going? Is he just being irresponsible, or could it be worse? You know him better than anyone else.”
I sit up, trying to gain control of myself.
“That’s the problem with Saruman. There is no predicting what he’ll do. He’s irrationally angry and cruel. I’ve never seen him outright physically hurt the boys, but he had me to bully before. Now …” My voice trails off as my mind swirls with the worst possible scenario.
“Saruman?”
“His code name, for when the boys are around.”
“I know it’s hard to talk about, but can you give me specifics?” He interlaces his fingers with mine.
I bite my lip, staring out the windshield.
“Before I had the twins, he wasn’t that bad. He was a jerk sometimes, and we would fight a lot. But after they were born, they took so much of my time and attention away from him. Things changed after that.
“It was mostly threats. He got physical sometimes, but it was generally more warnings and using the fear he’d instilled in me as leverage.
I was constantly wondering if he would follow through with the violence.
He did strangle me one time, but that was the worst of it.
Other times, he’d throw dishes at me and tell me that he was going to break my fingers if I didn’t clean it up.
It was all just manipulation and coercion.
He wanted to be in charge. He wanted my world to revolve around him. ”
We’re getting closer to the location he has pulled up on his phone. His hand tightens on the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white.
“He never broke any of my bones or anything. I had bruises a few times from him, like, trying to fight me for my phone or shoving me into the bed, the wall—”
“Oh, okay, well, if he didn’t break your bones and land you in the ER, then I guess it couldn’t have been that bad, huh?” His voice is dripping in sarcasm, his blue eyes darkening on the trailer ahead of us.
He speeds up to pass the truck and cattle trailer on the one-lane highway, the transmission groaning from the quick increase in speed.
He’s angry. Angry at what Matt did to me.
What if I exaggerated? What if I told it in a way that made it sound worse than it had been?
I mentally go back over my words, knowing I only told the truth, minimizing it, at best.
At worst, I left out critical details.
“He did say, if I ever disrespected him, he would take the boys and …” My voice trails off, and I can’t finish the sentence.
“What did he say he would do?”
I swallow over the lump of terror forming in my throat. “He said I’d never see them again.” My voice is a hoarse whisper.
I know he said it in anger, and I didn’t believe him at the time. I’ve never truly known what he’s capable of or what he meant by that.
“Dallas, baby, we’re going to find them. You’re going to see them again. I promise you that.” His tone has grown slightly less murderous, but his speed hasn’t dropped below eighty-five miles an hour.
His speed increases again, the blue dot on the digital map getting closer. I feel like I might be sick. I dry-heave with no warning, but my stomach is empty. He rubs my back reassuringly.
“I need to talk to you about last night. I need you to know how bad this might get.”
“What? What happened last night?”
I sit up, glaring at him. Did he see Matt do something else?
He grits his teeth, rubbing his hand over the five-o’clock shadow that grew overnight.
“Listen, you have every right to not want to date me anymore after I tell you this. If you want out, you just say the word. I’m not a psychopath, controlling dickhead who can’t take a woman’s rejection. This shit I’m going to tell you, not many people know. Only the family.”
He turns to look at me, gauging my reaction.
Shit.
It’s about what Eden told me. About them hurting people … and maybe more.
I lean back against my seat, releasing a slow exhale before nodding for him to continue.
“My brothers and I, we don’t exactly abide by the laws all the time. Sometimes, we break them, but only when it’s necessary. Only when evil pricks are doing fucked-up shit and we know the justice system is going to let it slide. We only do this when we have to, to protect the innocent.”
I blink at him, holding my breath while waiting for the punch line.
“So … last night, we were taking care of one of those former problems. A man named Jed used to work on the ranch. He was a sick, cruel son of a bitch who we caught torturing animals before we fired him.
“Back before you knew any of us, Holden had just gotten out of prison. Jed helped Mayor Dixon kidnap his own daughter, Rosie. It was … a fucking disaster. Jed was using Rosie as a human shield. But Holden made a split-second decision and was forced to end Jed’s life, shooting him at point-blank range.
“If we’d told anyone—called the authorities, like you’re supposed to—Holden would’ve gone straight back to prison. So, we decided to get rid of the body. We buried him on the ranch. I helped.
“So, when the surveyor found his bones recently … we knew we would be in deep shit if we didn’t get rid of the evidence.
So, we broke into the morgue last night, and we needed a cover story.
Old Harry’s was right behind the funeral home where we thought the bones were. Long story short, we took care of it.”
I don’t know if I’m getting car sick or if just the general knowledge that my boyfriend of one day is a murderer, along with his entire family, is making me feel ill.
After a few long moments of mental processing, I finally find my voice. “Is that what you and Sterling did to Eden’s baby daddy?”