Epilogue #2
I want to marry Duke. I know I do.
I lift the champagne glass to my lips and chug the entire thing. It burns down my throat, making my eyes water.
I finish getting dressed, put on the dark cherry-colored lipstick, and survey my reflection.
Not too shabby.
The outfit is gorgeous. It’s a two-piece cotton set in a lacy pattern. The top is a corset that flatters my figure perfectly, but the bottom skirt is almost too small for my wide hips.
“You got this. You are a strong, independent woman. You deserve this. You deserve to be loved like this.” Unexpected tears spring into my eyes as I say the last words, just as the door opens behind me.
I meet Duke’s blue eyes. He blinks, the corner of his lips twisting up as his gaze dips over my frame.
“Hot damn. I’m a lucky bastard.”
He walks up behind me, inhaling my neck and groaning. “You smell like pure heaven.”
“I’m not wearing anything.”
“Must just be you then.” He kisses the top of my shoulder. “You hungry? We have appetizers and this badass mixologist. She said the grapefruit mojito is one of her most popular.”
I nod, feeling the numbness starting to spread over me.
No. No, I don’t want to go numb tonight.
I want to feel everything.
I’ve been working hard in therapy to stay in touch with my emotions and feel things. It’s easy to check out, to drink some wine and desensitize myself to the pain of life and the harsh memories that are constantly trying to flood back in from my first marriage.
I hate giving those memories any power over me at all.
Duke intertwines his fingers with mine and pulls me out to the main room. It’s a modern, open-concept design. The private chefs are in the kitchen. It’s two men who are also a couple, and they’re hard at word, prepping ingredients with steam floating up to the ceiling and the oven timer beeping.
The mixologist is set up out on the patio kitchen counter with an array of liquor bottles, garnishes, and sparkling glassware.
“I’ll take a grapefruit mojito,” I tell Duke.
He smiles, leans in, and kisses my cheek. “Coming right up.”
He goes outside to tell the mixologist.
Dawson runs up to me, still in his damp swim trunks. “Mom! Did you see the Lego truck I built? It has a turbo blaster.” He proudly holds up the colorful truck.
“Wow, honey! That looks amazing. I’m proud of you.” I smile at him, rustling his dirty-blond hair. “Where’s your brother?”
“He’s with Eden and her baby, playing peekaboo.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Mommy, when can we get a baby?”
“Um, I don’t know.”
Rosie walks up, holding Bonnie’s hand. “Okay, we have dancing on the patio in five minutes. Are you coming?”
I nod, following her outside.
Duke is strumming on his guitar while Monroe sits on Cash’s lap next to him and sings. The mixologist acts like nothing out of the ordinary is happening. She sees me and holds up a stunning fluted coupe glass with a curled grapefruit peel garnish.
“Grapefruit mojito?”
I take it from her. “Wow, thank you.” I take a slow sip, the tangy flavor bursting on my tongue. “Wow, that’s incredible.”
“Thanks.” She winks at me and gets back to mixing with her tattooed hands.
Dutton walks outside, coming right up to me and motioning for me to lean down toward him.
I do, and he whispers in my ear.
“Happy birthday, Mommy.”
Then he pulls out a homemade drawing from behind his back. I smile when I see the colorful crayon drawings of me, him, Dawson, and another figure.
“Who’s this?”
“That’s Cowboy. He’s kind of like a dad.”
Then he skips off, unaware that he just rattled my heart inside my chest.
I look over at Duke, who calmly lets Dutton climb into his lap and keeps strumming the guitar.
I watch them for a few moments, my heart rate regulating as I sip on the mojito.
Duke is my peace.
He brings the chaos down a notch, or ten, wherever he is.
After the song ends, Monroe and Cash move to order a drink, and I walk toward Duke.
He’s letting Dutton strum the guitar now.
“We should go show Mom that cool rock we found down by the water. What do you think?”
Dutton perks up, nodding. He jumps off his lap and runs toward the back door of the house.
“What was that?” I ask.
He smiles. “We found this rock with a fossil in it by the lake earlier. They wanted me to send you a picture, but I told them we should just show you.”
He’s wearing a tan Stetson with a pale blue button-down and nice jeans and boots. He recently shaved, and he smells like somebody I wish would put a baby in me.
Oh no.
One and a half drinks shouldn’t make me feel that way.
He grabs my hand, pulling it up to his lips to press a kiss to my knuckles. “Have I mentioned how drop-dead gorgeous you are in this outfit?”
I shake my head, my lower lip starting to tremble when he leads me down the steps toward the pool.
The large white stones frame the pool like massive steps. The pool itself overlooks a crystal-clear Lake Travis. The house we’re staying at is more like a large compound with three houses on one property with ten bedrooms, eleven baths, three kitchens, and a boat dock.
“I’m glad you like it,” I manage.
My belly feels like it’s full of gravel. I feel like I might scream or vomit at any moment.
He takes me down the steps, closer to the water. There’s a patch of oak trees with shadows stretching out as the sun dips behind the horizon, where the sun is beginning to set.
Little feet start pattering toward us at full speed.
I turn back around to see Dawson and Dutton. They’re both wearing haphazardly thrown-on shirts with khaki shorts, with Dolly and Rosie chasing after them.
We get down a few more steps, and Duke points to a rock on the side of the hill.
“Wait, Cowboy! Don’t show Mommy yet!” Dawson says, panting when he reaches us.
Dutton is close on his heels.
“Mom, look.” Dutton bends down and points.
My eyes follow his little finger to see that there is, in fact, a fossil in the rock. It looks somewhat like a circular seashell with ridges.
“Wow. That’s beautiful, boys,” I tell them.
They look up, smiling at me. Then I hear Duke clearing his throat beside me. He reaches out and takes each of their small hands in his larger ones. He drops down to one knee in front of them.
“Boys, I have something to ask you. I’ve been your mom’s boyfriend for about a year now, and I really, really love spending time with her and with you two.
I love taking care of her and kissing her and making her steaks outside on the grill.
But I wanted to ask you both how you would feel about me asking your mom if I could marry her. ”
Duke has been fake proposing to me for the last year. I knew he was doing it to warm me up to the idea, but now that I think it’s happening for real, I’m glad that the motion feels so familiar.
Tears prick the corners of my eyes as Dawson solemnly nods.
“I want you to be my dad, Cowboy.”
“Yeah, you should marry Mommy!” Dutton says.
I release a sob as they both run off to play, their four-year-old minds incapable of sitting still in the serious moment for much longer.
Duke turns to me, his eyes red and misty. He’s already down on one knee after talking to the boys, but he takes my hands in his warm ones.
“Dallas, darlin’, I’ve been wanting to ask you this for a long time—for real this time. I’ve had the ring for longer than I’m willing to admit.”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the beautiful emerald-shaped diamond with a simple gold band. It glints in the sunlight.
“But I knew you needed time to adjust, so I hope it isn’t too soon for me to ask this.”
I suck in a sob. His eyes blaze with an intensity I’ve rarely seen in him.
“I love you more than life itself. I love the boys, too, and I want to help you raise them. You’re an outstanding mother. You’re smart and kind and beautiful and strong. And I want to spend forever proving that I’m worthy to be with you.
“For a long time, I didn’t think I would ever get married. I honestly didn’t think I’d live very long on this earth.
“Then I met you and the boys, and I found a reason worth living. You complete me, in every sense of the word. I can’t imagine life without you. Dallas Hayes, will you make me the happiest man alive and let me change your last name to Redford? Will you marry me?”
All the emotions of the day crash into me. The planning, the secrecy, the private chefs, the mixologist, and the way he asked the boys’ permission first.
I feel myself nodding, even as tears stream down my cheeks.
“Yes, yes, Duke. Of course, yes.”
He slips the ring over my left ring finger and presses a kiss to the top of my knuckles.
He stands up and pulls me in for a tight hug. I wrap my arms around him, thinking I may burst from pure happiness and delight.
“I thought you’d never ask me for real,” I whisper into his ear.
He chuckles. “You weren’t ready before. I was trying to be patient.”
I pull back, raising a brow. “Wanna bet?”
I turn around, pulling down the top of my skirt to show him the brand-new tattoo—his initials in red ink inside a red heart.
His eyes bug out of his head.
“Holy shit,” he whispers.
“Yeah, that happened today, mister.”
A splitting grin stretches across his handsome face. “You know that’s gonna look so fucking hot with me hitting it from behind, right?”
I throw my head back and laugh, shaking my head. “You’re an animal.”
“Fuck, I love you so much, Dallas Redford.”
“Shit.” I blink at him. That’s the first time I’ve heard that name.
“Oh, yeah, baby, I’m practicing that name from now until I get you down that aisle.”
I giggle into his chest, pressing my forehead up to his throat. Tears wet my cheeks. The orange glow around us from the sunset feels like something out of a movie set. I catch a glimpse of both Dolly and Rosie snapping photos.
“I like the sound of it when you say it.”
“Are you scared?” he asks, nuzzling my ear. “You seemed nervous earlier.”
“I was,” I admit. “But now I’m too overwhelmed with happy feelings to be scared. I guess I’m just worried, someday, you might start treating me differently.”
He chuckles, kissing my ear. “You’ll be waiting forever for that. Because it’s never going to happen.”