Chapter 8 | Katia
Katia
Iwoke up the next morning, my heart aching as Elena’s face wafted through my mind.
She’d only been sixteen when she died, and her beautiful face and soul would be forever frozen in that image.
We’d looked alike, although she had blond hair, and I sometimes wondered who she would’ve been if she’d lived.
Perhaps a doctor, or a scientist. She’d been brilliant, but unfortunately, she’d also inherited our parents’ vices and addictions. It was a sad outcome for many children of addicts, and I was proud that I’d survived when so many hadn’t.
I dressed in jeans and a short sleeve blouse since it was going to be a warm spring day, and did some work on my laptop before Leo picked me up. Everything looked normal on Michael’s accounts, and the fraudulent transactions had disappeared.
Did I believe we were out of the woods? Not by a long shot. But it was something.
My phone rang and I answered, putting it on speaker so I could continue my work on the laptop.
“Hey,” I said, saving the current ledger I was finishing.
“Hey.” Michael’s voice was solemn. “Are you working? I don’t want you working today.”
“I’m just making sure the fraudulent transactions are gone and doing a little reconciliation. Nothing too crazy.”
“When are you heading to the cemetery?”
“Uh, around ten. Leo’s going to come with me.”
Silence stretched between us, and I grinned.
“He offered, and I said yes because we share similar grief. His mother died years ago, and it hit him hard.”
“You never asked me to come to the cemetery with you. I would have, if you’d wanted.”
“You never offered,” I said, resting my chin on my fist. “But I know you would have. I just like going alone.”
“Until today.”
“Until today,” I said, my tone carrying a warning not to meddle.
“I’m going to say something, and it’s probably going to sound wrong.”
Laughing, I nodded. “Okay.”
“I was never able to give you what you deserved...when we were together...”
“You gave me exactly what I wanted. And you’ve given me so much more in other aspects of my life.”
A slow breath echoed across the phone. “You deserved more. I hope Leo can give that to you. He and I have a...complicated relationship, but he’s a good man, and I respect him immensely.”
My eyebrows lifted. “That’s a high compliment from you. And we’re just going to visit my sister. Don’t get any ideas. He runs away every time I get within a foot of him. I’m not sure he’s interested in pursuing anything. And maybe I’m not either.”
Michael cleared his throat. “Men are idiots sometimes. Just ask Bianca. She’ll tell you I’m dense as a rock half the time about our relationship.”
“Oh, yes, she’s already told me,” I said, chuckling.
“Well, then you need to realize that Leo is an idiot too. I don’t think he’s thrilled about our history. Most men wouldn’t be. We all have huge egos that are ridiculously inflated.”
“Wow, Bianca’s really rubbing off on you. I like this reflective side of Michael Caruso,” I said with a cheeky grin.
“Funny,” he droned. “But I’m serious. Don’t let his ego get in the way. Our past is over, and you deserve happiness, Katia.”
“Thanks. I’ll file that under love advice from my favorite mafia boss in my journal. And tell Bianca I’m bringing cabernet for dinner on Friday. I’m excited to chat with her about her husband’s newfound advice skills.”
“I’m hanging up now,” Michael said, his tone droll. “But I hope you have a good visit. I’m sorry she’s not here.”
Tears stung my eyes. “Me too. Thank you. Talk to you later.”
I clicked off the phone and glanced toward the ceiling, contemplating Michael’s words.
Was Leo resentful of the fact that I’d been in a romantic relationship with Michael several years ago?
Hell, we were in our forties. If either of us hadn’t been in previous relationships, that would be hella weird.
Or maybe it was because it was Michael. As he’d said on the phone, he and Leo did have a complicated relationship.
They were two sides of the same coin. Both loyal and steadfast with a deeply-embedded sense of morals.
One just worked on the wrong side of the law.
Or, perhaps both of them did if you looked at it from a broader perspective.
Sitting back, I remembered the night Michael and I began our romantic relationship. I’d been doing his books for a few years, and he’d taken me out to dinner to celebrate getting my degree. When we walked into my apartment, he’d kissed me on the forehead, as he often did, and turned to leave...
Feeling bold and extremely grateful, my hand snaked around Michael’s wrist to halt him.
I’d only dated two other men since coming to America, and both had ended up being duds.
I’d been drawn to them because they were boring and safe.
Trusting men was extremely difficult for me, and I found myself wondering what it would be like to be with someone who was handsome, and powerful, and who I trusted inherently.
I tugged him closer, and he exhaled a deep breath.
“Katia,” he said, cupping my jaw. “You’re extremely beautiful, and any man would be lucky to be with you...”
“Any man but you?” I asked, grinning.
“I...” He shook his head. “It’s complicated. I have a plan, and if it eventually comes to fruition, there’s someone waiting for me on the other side.”
Recognition washed over me. “You’re in love with someone,” I almost whispered.
His dark eyes trailed between mine. “Yes.”
Pursing my lips, I pondered. “And she’s not available?”
He shook his head.
My fingers tightened around his wrist. “Honestly, that makes this easier for me. I’m not asking to marry you, Michael, and I’m not looking for love.”
“You deserve it...”
“But it’s not where I’m at right now,” I said, covering his lips with my fingers. “I just want to be comforted by someone I trust, and I trust you more than anyone.”
“I’m honored,” he whispered against my fingers.
Tugging him toward the bedroom, I felt his resistance wane. “We both need comfort, Michael. Let’s share it with each other.”
We entered a simple, caring relationship where we never asked for more than we could give.
Michael would ask me to accompany him to functions like weddings and christenings, and during one of those functions, I caught him gazing at Bianca Rossi.
The yearning that stretched across his face was evident, and I instinctively knew she was the woman he carried a torch for.
I eventually told him I knew his secret, vowing not to tell another soul. After two and a half years together, as Michael was getting closer to destroying Victor’s empire, I ended our romantic relationship. He’d accepted it gracefully and finally married Bianca last year.
I hadn’t been with anyone since Michael. The thought of sleeping with another man after being with someone I trusted so deeply was daunting. But with Leo...
Swallowing thickly, I acknowledged that I felt an intense desire for Leo that I’d never felt for Michael.
Michael was about comfort.
I had a feeling Leo could be about so much more, especially with his intensity and all that brooding masculinity.
Was I ready for someone like Leo? Someone who might actually cause me to try and experience intense connection...and possibly love?
A text appeared from Leo that he’d arrive in five minutes, effectively pulling me back to reality. I closed the laptop and checked my reflection one last time in the foyer mirror. Ready to face the emotional visit, I headed out the door.
Leo
I picked up Katia at ten o’clock sharp. Putting on my blinkers, I hopped out of the car and ran to her side to open the door for her. Her resulting smile sent a little shock through my heart, and I thanked the lord my dad had ingrained chivalry in me as a kid.
I slid back behind the wheel, her scent invading my nostrils immediately. Clenching my hands on the wheel, I struggled to breathe as it surrounded me. God, this woman smelled like fucking heaven.
“There’s a flower shop about a mile from here if you don’t mind stopping,” she said. “They have the most gorgeous bouquets.”
“Of course.”
She gave me the address and we headed there first. Afterward, we drove to the cemetery, the flowers sitting atop her lap as she clutched them tightly. I noticed her white knuckles and slid my hand over them to soothe her.
She glanced over at me and smiled, her translucent green eyes shining in the sunlight.
“Thank you for coming with me today.”
“Sure. Do you usually go by yourself?”
“Always,” she said, her voice sad and wistful. “You’re the first person I’ve ever asked to go with me.”
Surprise coursed through me at her admission. “You never asked Michael?”
“No. He had enough on his hands, and I just wasn’t sure he’d understand my grief.” Her eyes met mine. “Unfortunately, you do, so here we are.”
I remained silent, unable to deny the shared connection that pulsed between us.
“At least it’s a beautiful day,” she said, lightening the mood a bit. “I hope I’m not keeping you from anything important at work.”
“I mostly make my own schedule,” I said, shrugging. “My new boss is going to be a pain in the ass, but most agents are in the field as much as we’re in the office. It’s not a problem at all.”
“Tell me about the cases you’re working on.”
I grimaced. “They’re kind of dark, and I don’t want to kill the vibe.”
Laughing, she bit her lip. “Well, it’s already a pretty dark day, but okay. Then tell me about your mom.”
Grinning, I felt love swell in my chest as it always did when I thought of her. “She was such a beautiful soul. Caring and sweet, but she’d also put you in your place if you messed up. She had such a glowing smile, and I did my best to see it as often as I could.”
“Oh, you’re a mama’s boy?” Katia teased.
“One-hundred percent,” I confirmed with a nod. “I was her only kid, and she doted on me. But she also taught me right from wrong and punished me when I didn’t live up to her ideals. It made me who I am, along with my dad, who’s a great guy too.”