Chapter 9
Wren
The pain of the truth is worse.
Itear up the winding roads, speeding up to my little wooded oasis where no one can witness my breakdown.
This is the last time I’m covering for Fran.
If she doesn’t start showing up on time for work, she’s going to have to find another job.
I’ve been more than lenient, but now it’s getting excessive.
I need someone reliable. Someone who’ll be there when my ex-boyfriend who broke my heart shows up to town and tears the wound right open.
Although, I can’t even pretend like my heart was even scabbed over.
I don’t even bother with a glass, I just shoot the whiskey straight back, gagging on the taste as it burns its way down my throat. I’ve never liked the taste of alcohol, but anything that will help, I’ll choke back.
Why the hell did he come here? He just got out of prison.
He should be celebrating. Living it up. Fucking some whore and making up for lost time.
The words still cut deep. How I wasn’t good enough.
How I was too tame in bed. Too meek for his taste.
He has no fucking clue the thoughts that run through my head, but I wasn’t exactly going to write him back and tell him I’m plenty kinky.
I didn’t need to make myself look any more desperate or pathetic as I already had over the year, writing him every week, pouring my heart and soul out.
Crying myself to sleep every night, waking up in tears, then working tirelessly on his case.
Just to learn it was all for naught. Just to learn I sucked in bed.
We’d barely started having sex when he went inside.
I was young and shy and nervous. He’d been with other girls before me.
He had experience and I was a virgin, so it made me self-conscious.
And obviously, it made me a lousy lay. He could sugarcoat it all he wanted in his letter, but I read his message loud and clear: he’d had better and he wanted better.
So, why the fuck doesn’t he go off and find someone else and leave me alone?
The place is too quiet, and my thoughts are too loud.
I turn the television on and start scrolling through, getting angrier and angrier as I see how many romantic comedies there are.
Does the entire world have an obsession with love?
Yes, yes, they do. My grandmother always said, “The world wouldn’t go round without it, Wren.
” And by as many romance movies there are to choose from and all the blind dating shows on Netflix, it looks like she’s right.
Everyone is obsessed with falling in love and getting married.
And the stupid na?ve girl I once was had that same dream.
The sound of an engine coming up the road has me turning down the volume and rising from the couch.
This isn’t a thoroughfare so there’s no need for anyone to be out this way.
When I see a fancy-ass red sports car winding up my mountain, I walk over and grab my shotgun off the wall.
It’s time for me to show Miles that I’m done being bothered by his rich arrogant ass.
But when it comes to a stop, the eyes staring at me through the windshield are not the one’s I expected.
Kayden climbs out of his fancy car, which I have no idea how he can afford, and stomps over to me. “The fuck you doing living all the way out here, Wren?”
Is he kidding me? He’s going to come to my place of residence and start lecturing me like I’m a child.
I’m twenty-five now, not nineteen. I don’t have to answer to anyone, certainly, not to him.
“The fuck you doing following me, Kayden?” I snap right back.
“This is private property, and if you don’t get off it, I’ll shoot your ass. ”
He comes marching over and grabs the barrel of the gun, holding it to his chest. “You want to shoot me, go right the fuck ahead, baby girl. But you and I are going to have a conversation first. Now, why the hell are you living in a trailer and driving a fucking rust bucket? If the man you’re with can afford a rock like that, he can afford a better roof over your head. Now, what the hell is going on?”
The man I’m with? Afford the rock? Oh. He thinks I’m engaged.
Good. Maybe that will work in my favor and get him gone then.
“Don’t you dare judge us for how we choose to live, Kayden.
I love it out here. It’s quiet and peaceful, and it’s home.
Just because you didn’t like the trailer you grew up in, doesn’t mean I’m living like trash.
Now, get back in that prissy little car and get going before my man gets home and puts a bullet in your ass. ”
He presses his chest tighter against the gun, seething between gritted teeth. “Like I said, I’m not fucking going anywhere until we have a chat. Now, put the gun down and get your ass inside.”
“I don’t take marching orders from a jackass. If you want to talk, you can talk right here.” I place the gun down, leaning it up against the step. With how shaky my hands are, I’m liable to make the thing go off. And in spite of the pain he’s caused me, I don’t want to hurt him. “Now, talk.”
“You aren’t going to invite me in? Offer me a cold glass of sweet tea?
” His brow goes up teasingly, and I hate the flutter in my stomach.
Suddenly, the humor in his eyes turns dark and seductive, and my body courses with heat.
“God, baby.” He steps even closer, forcing me to crane my neck to see his intimidating eyes. “You went and got even prettier on me.”
The air seizes in my lungs as if his words are too hot to swallow down.
The way he’s looking at me is dangerous.
“Fuck, Wren. It’s been too damn long, baby.
” His fingers brush along my cheek making my nerves tingle.
His head starts to descend and I’m frozen.
My mind turning blank to everything except for the pressing need clenching in my lower gut, reminding me that it’s been six years since I’ve been with a man.
Six years since I’ve felt his lips against mine. And damn, do they feel good.
His hand grips the back of my neck, holding me in place as he works himself over me.
His tongue sweeping inside and stealing my strength.
I stagger in my footing, and he grabs onto my waist, pressing me hard against the side of the trailer…
then he’s like a wrecking ball. A man who’s just been let out of his cage.
His hands are everywhere, rough and demanding as he takes what he wants.
No regard for sweetness. He nips and sucks, ravenously destroying my senses.
A ferocious hunter, a dangerous predator— and my body is eager to feed him.
He grips my hips and lifts, wrapping me around his waist, then his hard cock is pressed between my legs, thrusting up against me, pumping hard.
His mouth starts traveling lower down my neck, leaving little marks across my skin.
“God, you’re still just as innocent and sweet. Still my good little girl.”
It’s like being drenched with ice water.
The reminder of why he broke up with me.
What the hell am I doing? He just got out of prison.
Of course, he’s horny. He’d probably fuck anyone right now, and I just happen to be the one standing in front of him.
An easy pussy for him to get his fix with.
A quick fuck for old time’s sake. And when he’s done, he’s going to get back into that little red car and drive off to his new life.
I shove against his chest, making him stumble back. “Stop, Kayden. I can’t do this.”
He presses back in with a look in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. Prison has obviously hardened him—in many ways. His dick felt like steel. And is somehow even bigger now.
“You can’t tell me that you don’t fucking want it, Wren. Felt how wet you are between those legs.”
There’s no denying that. But that doesn’t change anything.
All I’m feeling now is anger at myself for falling prey so easily.
And disappointment. He’s not in love with me, so he can fuck me till the sun sets and then walk away without giving it another thought.
Me? I’m going to be taking a six-year emotional step back.
Just from this hookup alone, I’m already slipping back into the pain.
“Why’d you come, Kayden?”
It’s the question burning a hole in my gut. I don’t understand why I was his first stop out of the slammer. He could’ve gone anywhere.
“Because I needed to see you more than I needed my next breath.”
My chest constricts making it impossible to breathe. Once again, I’m completely confused.
“We need to talk, babe. I have some explaining to do. Can I come inside, or is your fella gonna give you hell about being alone with me?”
God, how quickly I forgot. He still thinks I’m engaged. And yet, he had no problem making his advances on me. Seems like his morality stayed locked behind bars too.
“It’s best if we chat out here.” Because if he comes inside, he’ll call my bluff. He’ll see right away that there isn’t a single scrap of evidence of a man living inside my pink girly home.
“I needed to tell you why I sent that letter, Wren.” We really don’t need to rehash this. He made it very clear in many words why he sent the thing. He didn’t want me clinging to a lie. His good conscience couldn’t handle it. “I needed you to hate me, baby.”
The words skit across my thoughts, pricking my arms with goosebumps.
“It was the only way, Wren.”
My confusion isn’t processing everything fast enough. His eyes are filled with guilt and regret. The word hate is cycling through my thoughts again and again.
“You were going to give up your dreams, baby. You were going to give up everything to work on my case and I couldn’t let that happen. I’d never be able to live with myself if you did that.”
It suddenly feels like the cool, fresh air has grown hot and suffocating. The forest seems to be closing in on me. The darkness trying to consume my thoughts. Everything feels tight.
“So, I did what I had to. I said what I needed in order to get you to hate me.” His features scrunch in pain. Nose. Eyes. The crease of his brow. All tortured with regret. “I needed you to move on.”
It feels like sharp nails going down my throat.
His horrid confession dragging across my lungs, slicing me open.
He lied. That’s what he’s telling me, isn’t it?
He lied to me. All these years. All the suffering.
All the tears. The lonely nights. The insecurities over not being enough.
The rejection and pure fucking depression I felt from the moment my eyes opened until sleep took me, then to be faced with nightmares of sadness. It was all for a fucking lie.
I loved him. I would’ve done anything for him.
It wouldn’t have been a sacrifice. It wouldn’t have been giving up a dream.
I just needed to know that he loved me. The fight for his freedom kept me going.
It kept me distracted from the loneliness.
And when I no longer had that, I had nothing.
I had no will to live. I didn’t know how to keep breathing.
I didn’t want to wake up because I didn’t want to face another miserable day of being gut-wrenchingly heartbroken.
“Go!” I shout, unable to look at him anymore. All the pain flooding in is too much to handle. “Get the fuck out of my sight.”
I can’t believe he did that. He promised me he’d never lie to me.
He promised to never intentionally hurt me.
But he destroyed me. He had me believing that he was never in love with me.
He had me believing that I was nothing to him, that we were done.
That truth devastated me. It’s all too much.
I need him to leave. I can’t even breathe.
“Baby, please.” He reaches out, but I shove his hand away. How dare he thinks he can touch me.
“You have no idea, Kayden. You have no fucking clue.” I shake my head, the panic tightening around my chest. Years of pain are rushing back in. If he doesn’t get out of my sight I’m going to hyperventilate.
“You destroyed me. That letter…” I struggle to force the words out, “broke me. Now…” I turn to the side and pick up my gun.
“Before I put a bullet in your fucking heart and give you a firsthand taste of what I’ve been feeling for the last five years, I suggest you get back in that fucking obnoxious car and get the fuck out of my life. ”
I point the gun at his chest, meeting his guilt-pained eyes with a warning glare. If he wants to call my bluff, he can try me. My sanity is severed, and there’s no telling what I’ll do if he doesn’t leave now.
He pushes forward, his eyes unwavering as they get right down to my level.
“We’re not done, Wren. I know I’ve hurt you.
I know I made the biggest fucking mistake of my life, but this is not it for us.
Now, I’m going to take off to let you cool down, but tomorrow, we’re going to finish this conversation.
And, once we’re done, you’re going to be giving that back to the fucker who gave it to you.
” He looks down at my granny’s ring, and his audacity pisses me off further.
I may not be engaged, but for him to think I’d just walk away from someone I promised myself to is outrageous.
“You and I are done, Kayden. There’s nothing to discuss, and nothing’s going to change my mind. Now, I suggest you leave town before he shoots your ass for trying to steal what’s his.”
“You’re mine, Wren. Pretend all you want, but you’re not his, or anyone else’s.
And that’s a fucking fact of life.” He turns and walks over to his car, pausing at his door.
“And don’t you dare fuck him tonight, or I will spank your ass in the morning.
” He climbs into his car, hits me with another glare and then backs out.
And as his little red car starts to wind its way down the mountain, my anger winds itself up my spine.
If he thinks he’s going to lay a hand on me, he’s wrong.