Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dread sat heavy in Anatoly’s stomach, feeling just like the time he’d tried cold pig’s blood in an effort to avoid drinking from humans. It had been a very unpleasant experience, but this was far worse. He found himself sinking into the nearest chair, his mouth dry, and his heart heavy.
“Perhaps I might have few nights to consider,” he started, trying to sue for time to figure out a solution that didn’t hurt Maggie or himself.
The bishop shook his head firmly almost immediately. “Vampires may have all the time in the world, but us mortals do not.”
It was a fair observation, but that didn’t make it sting any less. “It has been many years since I have come to you for counsel, but clearly my judgement has been impaired. Please, Your Grace, what words of wisdom do you have for me?”
“Forget the woman,” Peter offered bluntly. “Dedicate yourself to Christ again and focus on your duties. You have more to offer the priesthood than a woman, don’t you think?”
“Forget the woman?” Anatoly parroted, unable to get anything else out of his mouth, he was so shocked at his old friend’s words. When he could finally manage speech again, it was to sputter indignantly in Russian. He simply couldn’t formulate how he was feeling in English.
He rose out of his chair again, pacing to burn some of the shock, despair, and anger out of his system.
When he could finally bear to fix his gaze on Peter, there was a sternness about him that had not been there before.
He placed his hands on his hips, his jaw working as he formulated his reply.
The method had not been appreciated, but Peter had shown him what he needed to see all the same.
“I will not do that to Maggie,” he finally said, feeling a mix of relief and dread at having made a decision. “I will not cast her aside like others before me. If I must leave priesthood, then… Then I will. My faith has not changed, but perhaps purpose has.”
The bishop’s eyebrows shot up at this, clearly surprised, but then he gave Anatoly a sly smile as if he had known all along what he would choose. “Then I must suspend you from your priestly duties until such a time as you come to your senses.”
Hearing the words struck him like a blow to the chest and he staggered back a step, a deep frown darkening his features.
Being a priest was a core part of his identity; what would he do without duties to perform?
The thought was too frightening to dwell on and so he batted it away, even as Peter continued to speak.
“Anatoly, my old friend, this is not only a punishment, but an opportunity. Take time to reflect, but I am giving you dispensation to also explore what’s left of your humanity.
You entered the priesthood at such a young age, there is a great deal you did not get to experience.
Take the time to do so now and then when you see that this path is nothing but folly, return to me and we will speak again. ”
He heard, but he barely comprehended; his mind was still reeling over the rest of their conversation. It was plain what the bishop was saying and Anatoly couldn’t even disagree that he was wholly wrong, but what his heart felt and what his head knew were two very different things.
“With all due respect, that’s bull shit,” Maggie’s voice cut through the air, adding a whole new layer of tension to the room.
Anatoly had been so distracted he hadn’t heard her barge in.
It was her voice that broke through the darkness and dragged him back to the bishop’s office.
Though what she said most definitely wasn’t appropriate or respectful or to his liking, he recognized it as her way of standing up for him and that at least he could appreciate.
“Maggie, please.” He intercepted her gently, moving to put his hands on her shoulders before she could go any further. “You do not understand situation…”
“The hell I don’t, Anatoly,” she fired back, her dark eyes glaring across the room at Peter. “I know what it means to be suspended. You can’t—”
“I have made decision, Maggie,” Anatoly interrupted, “and His Grace has made his accordingly. He has been very generous and fair with me. Trust me, when I say it is not end, but chance for new beginning.” The words that left his mouth surprised even him, but they were true and saying them gave him a measure of comfort.
Maggie was clearly not convinced, but he could see he had broken through her outrage. She shook her head at him, her eyes imploring. “You don’t have to do this. You barely know me. I’m not worth this…” Her voice broke and she lowered her head as if she had something to be ashamed of.
Taking her chin between his thumb and index finger, Anatoly lifted her face up. “Nyet, don’t say such things,” he tried to soothe her.
“He hasn’t made this decision only for you, Detective Boone,” Peter finally chimed in.
“I have known Father Anatoly since I was a boy and I am now in my sixties. He is a good, honest man, but he is also a vampire and therefore, to a degree, he is intrinsically selfish. You cannot change the base nature of a vampire.”
“Watch me.” She said it without hesitation and with enough conviction to move mountains. Then she took Anatoly by the hand and started toward the door.
Anatoly wanted to go with her, he continued holding her hand, but he stopped as she reached the door. Their arms were stretched out across the space, but he didn’t let go. “May I be dismissed, Your Grace?”
“Yes, Anatoly, but you do not go with my blessing.” Peter’s declaration was not spoken in harshness, but Anatoly hung his head all the same.
Maggie squeezed his hand and he took strength from her, but just enough to walk from the room. Being with her may have felt right, but turning his back on the priesthood was one of the darkest moments he had ever endured.