Chapter Twenty
GRAY
FROST HUFFS at me as I close the door to her stall. I let her and Felix and a couple of other horses into the run-in for a few hours and they stood in the sun while they munched on hay. Felix wasn’t happy either, but I need to make room for the stallion and some other mares we are boarding.
Her door latches closed, and I think I hear someone scream my name, there is an edge of panic to it and I walk to the stable door. Squinting my eyes to look toward the house, I see Hallie's long body sliding on the ice as she tries to come down the small incline from the house to the barn.
"Gray!"
Frozen in place for a second, every muscle in my body tenses up as a wave of Déjà vu washes over me.
The memory of Breanna running down the hill yelling my name sends me back to the day Sarah died.
I swing my head to look at Dad, he heard her as well and is now standing beside me with his eyebrows pulled together.
We both leave the stable to walk towards Hallie.
Dad and I quickly close the distance between us.
Hallie is slipping and sliding on the ice, saying my name over and over.
She looks like she rushed from the house without a coat or gloves, her bare hands are sliding over the ice each time she loses her balance and pushes herself back up and I know it's gotta sting.
I get to her first and use my ice grippers to help her stand and hold her arms. "Hallie, what happened?"
Her face is white as a sheet, and she's nearly hyperventilating. "Oh god, I think I killed her." Her voice is a whispered whimper, and terror has her eyes blown wide and tears on her cheeks.
Dad and I bark at the same time, "What!?"
Panic twists my gut as I think of Sloane in the house and then I think of my brother. If anything happens to Sloane and the baby, I don't think I'll ever see my brother again, he'll leave and never come back.
It would break him.
He's no stranger to leaving home and not seeing family for years, the incident with Marley forced that on him just as he became a man. But now, he'll sink himself into his work and never lift his head.
I would never forgive myself if something happened to them on my watch.
Are we cursed? The thought whispers across my mind as I think of mom and Sarah.
Handing Hallie off to Dad, I make my way up the incline as fast as I can.
I hear dad asking Hallie for details as I move farther away from them, my breaths are puffing in clouds in front of me with each step. The screen door is closed, but the back door is wide open. In her hurry to get to us, Hallie didn't close the door.
I stomp through the mudroom, only stopping for a few seconds to pull the grippers off my boots and race into the kitchen. The sight in front of me has my heart skipping beats.
I'm not sure what I expected to see when I got in the house, but it sure wasn't Elly lying on the floor grasping her throat, her face is red and she's gasping for breath.
Sloane is on her knees next to her, arms wrapped around Elly's shoulders, tears streaming down her face. "I don't know what to do, she's allergic to the sesame oil," she cries out.
Even with my heart racing against my ribs, I bite down the panic and step around them to Elly's other side and kneel next to her.
Tears are streaming down her temples and when her eyes meet mine, my heart breaks for her as I see terror looking back at me.
Slipping my arms under her, I grab her bridal style and pull her against me.
Meeting Sloane's eyes, I try to stay calm. "Go to my bathroom and get the first aid kit under the sink. I keep an EpiPen in there just in case Lainey Rai ever needs it."
Her head bobs frantically as she pushes up onto her feet and rushes from the room.
I lift Elly with me as I stand and rush to the family room, her body is so small and her breaths are coming fast and shallow, knotting my stomach in fear.
Laying her on the big leather couch, I kneel by her side, close to her head, and take her hand to hold against my chest as I lean over her to offer some comfort.
"Look at me, frostbite." I softly order, my eyes locked on hers, my face just inches away.
Her eyes move in my direction, fear looks back at me, all I want to do is make that fear go away and replace it with her gorgeous smile.
"I have a shot, you're gonna be fine." Her head bobs fast a few times and her smaller fingers squeeze my hand.
She lifts her other hand over her chest, silently asking me to hold it, so I hook my thumb with hers to clasp her hand with my other hand.
Her eyes are holding mine captive as her cool fingers dig into my skin, her chest rising and falling quickly with each breath she battles to get through her swollen airway.
“Hey.” I softly say and force my features to stay neutral. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Okay?” If just holding her hand is giving her the comfort she needs, then nothing could pull me away from her right now.
She nods again, but the movement is not as jerky.
Making sure my poker face is in place, I don't want her to see just how scared I am. I offer her the same smile I would offer any of the women in my life to lend them any strength I can.
The shot Sloane is getting from my first-aid kit was bought just in case it's ever needed, so I know that once we get it in her system, she'll be fine.
What's confusing, and just as frustrating, is just how tight fear is squeezing my chest, making it hard for me to get my own air. I’m genuinely afraid I might lose her.
But she’s not mine to lose.
Somewhere behind the sound of blood rushing through my ears, I hear Hallie crying in the doorway and Marley is asking what happened. Dad is trying to soothe Hallie while explaining to Marley.
Smiling at her, I gently squeeze her fingers back. The sound of Sloane's footsteps jogging down the stairs is muffled behind the panic I'm trying to keep wrangled. She almost crashes into me when she falls to her knees and lays the first-aid kit on Elly's stomach and unzips the pouch.
"Got it." She's breathless as she pushes the kit onto the floor and holds the cylinder in her hand. "What do I do with it?" Her hand is suspended in midair, holding the pen as her wide eyes look at me for guidance.
Keeping my voice calm, I don't take my eyes from Elly's when I answer Sloane. "Pop that cap off." As Sloane does that, I ask Elly, "You ready, frostbite?" She nods.
"Plunge that needle into the meaty part of her outer thigh and push the button on the end with your thumb, leave it in for a count of ten."
Elly's body twitches when Sloane jabs the needle into her leg, maybe a little harder than needed in her own panic, and her hands squeeze mine harder. I give her another smile. "Just another minute and you'll be breathing like normal, keep your eyes on me."
Sloane is whispering as she counts to ten and I can see every breath Elly takes is coming a bit easier with each count, but her body trembles harder with each whispered number.
I softly squeeze her hands again when her chin quivers and more tears start falling.
"You're doing great." I smile bigger and say, "But I'm gonna have to ask you to give me a list of all your allergies when you're feeling better. "
A sob chokes out on an exhale that was supposed to be a laugh, but her body shakes harder as sweat breaks out across her forehead.
Sloane pulls the injector out and sits back on her heels with a deep breath of relief, and with the loss of the adrenaline dump in her system, a fresh batch of tears starts running down her face.
Elly's eyes never leave mine. "Deep breath, frostbite, breathe with me." I take a deep breath into my nose, and she mirrors the action, pulling more air into her lungs and letting it out through her mouth.
"I'm sorry," she whisper-whimpers, but her teeth are chattering as her whole body is trembling almost violently. I read in the instructions it could be one of the side effects when I bought the injection, but I'm willing to bet it's part side-effect and part alarm at the whole situation.
"Oh, thank God!" Hallie cries behind me next to dad and she breaks down into sobs.
In my peripheral, I see Marley hugging Lainey Rai to her chest as they all breathe a sigh of relief.
"Come here." I pull Elly to me, crushing her body to mine, and lean my head back to set my chin on her head. "Nothing to be sorry for, accidents happen."
I've got a house full of crying women all in the same room and somewhere deep inside, with Elly breathing against me, it feels right, like she’s one of them.
Like she belongs here. The fucked-up reality of the whole situation has me grinding my molars together, something in me wants to protect her, to wrap her up and keep her safe.
She fists my coat at my sides and pulls her knees up, curling into a shaking ball in front of me. The smell of peaches drifts into my nose when I take a deep breath of relief, and I close my eyes as I realize just how close we came to having a much different outcome.
Her body is so small against me and she's shaking so bad, I tell her, "Don't move," as I straighten and pull the zipper on my coat so I can shove it off my shoulders, wrapping it around her.
Rubbing my hands up and down her back to offer some comfort, I ask, "How do you feel?"
Her voice is muffled in my jacket and shakes as she talks.
"Like I almost died in a strange house surrounded by people who may or may not like me much.
" A small huff of a laugh heats the shirt on my chest and guilt squeezes me, making my throat burn.
I can still feel her hands at my sides, squeezing the flannel shirt, and she laughs again.
"I have to admit, the fleeting thought of what you would do with my body crossed my mind. "
Keeping my chin on her head, I ignore the thought of what could have happened and chuckle, "Planted you in the back forty."
She barks a full laugh, her body tremors are weakening. "I don't even know what that means, but I'm going to assume it's nefarious at best." Letting her head slide back, cheek still against my chest, her eyes meet mine and her smile is back.
Fuck. That smile.
Staring into her beautiful, soft amber eyes, I smile when I mumble, "It's very fucking nefarious." My reward is a genuine laugh that hits me in the chest, and my body almost sags in relief.
Her smile slips and her eyes volley between mine. "Thank you for helping me and not putting me in the back forty before now." Her voice is soft and I feel her breath on my chin. I drop my gaze to her lips before meeting her eyes again.
"Don't thank me yet, the day’s not over." A throat clearing behind me pulls my attention to the fact we have an audience, it surprises me when I don't mind who's watching, but I force myself to pull away from her some. "You okay to sit up?"
Nodding her head, she turns and scoots back on the couch, letting her head rest against the leather cushion behind her.
I pull my coat around her, it's so big on her it looks a little like a straitjacket, but she pulls her knees up inside so only her feet, ankles and head are sticking out.
She hasn't taken her eyes off me and my damn chest warms at the way she is looking at me.
"You keep saving me," she mumbles, her voice just over a whisper.
Looking at the bruised cut over her eye, I think of catching her nearly frozen body outside.
Was that just three or four days ago? This little woman fearlessly barreled into my stables with her brilliant smile, blowing everything up around me, and now I don’t like the thought of going back to life before that day.
My train of thought reminds me why she's here and my heart sinks, under different circumstances I would pursue this feeling that pulls me to her.
I haven't felt this way about a woman since I met Sara.
It's such a powerful pull, like she's a little dirt devil pulling me into her force like a grain of sand.
But it's not a different circumstance. She is here for reasons that go beyond contempt in my book. The insistent need deep inside of me that wants to pull her close to me is battling with the truth of why she is here and it’s making me fucking crazy.
The constant hot and cold of my thoughts and emotions has me standing on the edge of losing my shit.
I drop my gaze to the couch and rock back onto my feet to stand, pushing the feelings she ignites deep into a box and closing the lid.
My family always comes first.
When I'm back up on my feet, I curl my fingers into my palms and give her a small, strained smile. "Well, try not to make it a habit, I’ve got a lot of work to do."
Turning around, I come face to face with eyes on us and I walk through everyone quickly to get out of the room. Maybe getting further away from her will get rid of the sinking fucking feeling in my stomach.