Chapter 2
Harlow Springs Ranch
Six Months Later
Marley
“Marley, honey, are you okay?” Sarah’s soothing voice breaks through my thoughts. I didn’t even hear her open the creaky screen door.
I don’t look in her direction, I don’t have it in me to talk to her. My focus is on the pond across the way, close to the stream that runs through our property. “Is dad back yet?”
Dad drove Mason to the bus station this morning. They made him join the Army as punishment for pulling that asshole off me while he was in the middle of raping me.
Since Keith’s father is a District Attorney in Tulsa, he had some pull in the courts and demanded that Mason be punished for almost killing his son.
It didn’t matter that my nose was broken, or that I had a concussion, or that he ripped me on the inside.
He didn’t wear a condom, and I had to take one of those pills and a shit load of antibiotics.
Even though the rape was labeled ‘violent’ and he put me in the hospital for a few days, Mason was punished because he broke some bones and hit him so hard that he was put in a medically induced coma for a couple of weeks to wait for the swelling to go down in his brain.
Being able to sleep through the night is a memory, the nightmares wake me up and I can only sleep if Mason is in the room with me.
The sleeping pills help, but they don’t stop the dreams that put me right back in that night.
I feel his breath on my face and the pain in my pelvis even when I’m sleeping.
I’ve never been separated from Mason; he’s been by my side since birth. How am I supposed to get through this without him?
He’s been with me every day since that night, not letting me out of his sight.
He partially blames himself for letting me walk out to the parking lot by myself, but I keep telling him it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen every second of every day.
He still says he should have known better.
I made him promise he would say goodbye before he left this morning; knowing him as well as he knows himself, I had a feeling that he was going to try to sneak away so I wouldn’t cry. Even though he was trying to be strong for me, I could see the worry on his face.
He knows.
He knows I’m weaker without him. I tried to be brave back, but when he kissed my forehead and told me ‘I may be far away, but I’m here for you. Remember that. Whatever you do, stay strong, we’ll make it through this’. I couldn’t stop the tears.
Stay strong.
Usually when people cry, the nose burns or the face scrunches up while the chin wobbles, but the damndest thing is that my tears have started flowing without even a twitch.
Like they are now. It comes and goes, sometimes I can sit out here and be dry as a bone, but other times I can’t get them to stop.
Like now.
My older brother, Gray, has been trying to help, but he’s not Mason. Mason knows what I’m thinking. Gray tries, and I love him even more for it, but it’s not the same.
Sarah is Gray’s fiancé; they’ve been together since they were in high school.
She asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding next spring and I agreed when she asked, before that night, but I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell her that I don’t even know if I’ll be able to go to their wedding.
“He’s not. When they left, he said he was stopping by the feed store on the way back.” She sits in the wicker chair next to me and tucks her hands between her thighs.
There’s a chill in the air and most of the trees are shedding their leaves, some are turning colors and the view from here is beautiful. But I don’t care about any of it. It’s been hard to care about anything the last six months.
“I forgot to ask Mason how long the bus ride would be.” I made him some sandwiches, but I didn’t think that maybe I didn’t make enough until just now.
She sits back and crosses one leg over the other. “Gray looked it up and I’m pretty sure he said about fifteen hours.”
My feet slam onto the wooden porch in front of me from their resting place on the chair, making a huge thud on the floorboards, startles Sarah, and she sits at attention as I throw the blanket off me. “I only made enough for breakfast and lunch; he doesn’t have anything for dinner.”
Panic slices through my chest even though I know dad probably gave him money to get something if they stopped. But what if? Mason eats his weight in food, he’ll be hungry.
And it’s all because of me.
His life is ruined because of me. If he hadn’t went outside that night to see what was taking me so long, he wouldn’t have beat that boy almost to death.
If he had only waited just five more minutes, I’m sure he would have found just me in his truck, and the police would have taken care of the rest.
He wouldn’t have been pulled from his dream of working the ranch with Gray, raising and training horses, and having the life that he was born into. He lost everything by trying to protect me.
I’m trying to suck in a deep breath, but I can’t seem to get enough air. The ache in my chest feels like someone set a boulder across my ribs. I stand up, but my vision is starting to tunnel and black spots are floating around in every direction.
“Opal.” Sarah yells as she stands next to me, grabbing my hand. “Breathe, Marley. Focus on me.”
The screen door slams and our housekeeper, Opal, is standing in front of me. Her old, bony, rough hands cup my face and she stands directly in my line of sight. “Marley, focus, what color are my eyes?”
Brown, her eyes are brown, and she has wrinkles all around them. My chest is still burning, but I’m able to suck some air in my lungs.
Wrapping my fingers around Opal’s wrists, I focus on her eyes just inches away from my face, the wrinkles that get deeper when she smiles, and the way her curly gray hair sticks up on the sides after it pulls out of its braid.
Somewhere in the background, I hear Sarah yell, “Gray!”
My knees give out and Opal shoves her arms under my arms to slow my fall. “Gray.” Her voice is urgent, but she keeps it calm.
I know there are people around me, my brain knows that Opal is right in front of me and Sarah is to my left, and Gray is somewhere in the house.
My dad will be back soon, but I feel so alone.
Even with my little brother and two little sisters in the house with us when they’re home from school, I still feel so totally alone.
Another wave of grief washes over me, and I crumple into Opal’s arms as the sobs start to make my whole body shake. How am I supposed to do this by myself? Why did this happen to us?
The screen door slams again, and strong arms slide behind my legs and back, and then I’m being lifted.
“It’s okay, Squeak, I gotcha. Opal, will you grab some water and her pills, please?”
I turn my face into Gray’s chest as I fist his shirt and let the sobs go, the hurt and agony in my voice is loud in each cry. He carries me to my bedroom and sits behind me on the bed, rocking me until the sobs turn to hiccups.
Opal hands him one of the pills the doctor prescribes for me and a glass of water. “Here, honey, take your meds and you’ll feel better.”
It’s not true, they take the edge off, and they help me sleep, but they don’t make me feel better. I take them anyway. It makes everyone else feel better.
Gray sits and rocks me until my eyelids are too heavy to hold open anymore.