Chapter 19 #2
Beatriz allowed the awkward side hug to go on for a record-breaking ten seconds before turning to Elysia with her sharp gray eyes entirely too focused for three in the morning.
“Elysia Penelope Parker, you have some serious fucking explaining to do.”
Was nice while it lasted. Elysia grunted, wriggling out of Beatriz’s hold as Jessa hopped up onto the small writing desk and crossed her legs. “Your sister’s right.”
Elysia was too tired to draw up the required scorn or disbelief. “What about your international black market? You forgot to mention that the other day, didn’t you?”
The apples of Jessa’s chiseled cheekbones turned pink. But Beatriz turned solemn, her voice uncharacteristically soft. “You killed a man for us, little sister. You would’ve stayed and bled out with the rest of us if it had come down to it.”
“And you went toe to toe with Sylvia Reyez.” Jessa’s voice shook slightly, reminding Elysia of just how reckless that choice had been.
Uncomfortable, her gaze darted to Topp, but if she was looking for judgment, she wasn’t going to find it in him. Not when it came to doing what needed to be done.
Elysia scraped at the dried blood on her hands, unable to keep her voice from being harsh. “I told you two to be careful. You can’t just walk into deals without any research or protection when you’re moving the type of product that you are. You’re both smarter than that.”
Her voice heated as she continued flaking dried blood onto the cream rug beneath her feet.
“And why did you have to drag Remy into your underground bullshit? Couldn’t you have just left her alone?
She was safe. Why do you think I’ve ignored her and Daphne since this started? It was to keep them safe.”
Remy’s voice was an even thing amidst the rising tension.
“I will remind you that you do not get to make those decisions for people, Elysia. You tied your life to a god’s, protected us when it would have been smarter to run, and you won’t even let us stand beside you?
If we are yours, then you are ours as well. ”
A lump lodged itself in Elysia’s throat. She was making up for years of blood on her hands, but somehow, for her it was expected. She had no such expectations of other people. Years of being alone in both her fears and successes had taught her not to rely on the fickle caring of other people.
Remy moved like water, gliding closer to Elysia with her usual fearlessness returning to her eyes.
“I went to Beatriz. It’s my job to pay attention to the businesses within our city, and while it may surprise you, I support what she is doing.
Call it what you wish, but she’s creating a market for our people to build something of their own.
And I think the time is coming when we are going to need as much ingenuity as possible. ”
Tension spiked up Elysia’s neck into her skull. “How bad is it in court?”
Remy’s manicured hand flexed. “Garrison is in a frenzy. He won’t stop until he’s exterminated magic as far and wide as he can. We all know what almost happened to Kava after the Fall.”
Topp spoke up for the first time. “He’s whipped the people into chaos as well. He’d already built a base of fear around magic, and now he’s capitalizing on it. Staging events that make it look like people with magic are violent and depraved. He’s going to have a ready and willing army.”
A throbbing ache banded around her head now. “It was all to be expected.”
“It’s still a nightmare,” Topp replied, looking worn.
“I received word that he intends to allow Kavians to keep their magic when they cross the borders. It will be a reverse of the Fall. Kavians slaughtering and pillaging the kingdoms that did the same to us when we lost magic. No doubt he’ll take it away once he’s used them to achieve his ends. ”
Elysia turned back to her oldest friend, hoping she would hear her earnestness through the tired rasp of her voice. “I liked knowing that at least you and Daphne were safe. I never had such hopes for me, or Beatriz, or anyone else in this room, but I thought maybe you two could be.”
Remy grabbed her hand. “I do not wish for immediate safety, but a lasting one. I’m good with numbers and business. You know that. Let me do what I do best for something worthwhile.”
Elysia looked down at their interconnected hands, her pale, mottled, and bloodied fingers wrapped tight with Remy’s smooth warm brown ones.
She squeezed Remy’s hand. “You already were. You were the only one who was. That’s why you deserved to keep your peace.
But if you want to turn my sister’s ill-thought-out bullshit into something lethal enough to wreck a kingdom, then okay. ”
Remy smiled. “Okay.”
The women filed out shortly, leaving Elysia alone with a pair of bright green eyes that belonged to a man who used to make her heart race. She traced the outline of his broad shoulders and strong jaw with her eyes, too tired to feel anything but oddly comforted by his presence.
Pacing over to the window on aching feet, she looked out at the fat flakes of snow lazily drifting down from the sky. “They’re going to create a network of magical deviants. Probably blow up the castle or something equally insane.”
Topp’s low chuckle sounded closer than she expected, and she turned her head to find the warmth of him right behind her.
Sweat and the scent of a crisp summer storm filled her nose.
It was three in the morning, she was exhausted, and it would be so easy to simply keep turning, until she fell into him.
She doubted he would stop her. But behind the tired impulse, she knew she didn’t want that at all.
She wanted comfort, but she didn’t want him.
Topp wrapped a single arm around the front of her shoulders and rested his chin on her head. “I don’t know how to do this.”
Elysia remained silent, flicking her face up at his. He looked down softly at her. “Part of me thinks I should chain your wrist to mine and guard you like I said.”
Her mouth flattened. “Because I’m what’s most important for Kava.”
“You are what’s most important to Kava.”
Elysia deflated, giving a clipped nod to the harsh but expected answer. The Doorman’s words came back to her. That man has a destiny to fulfill, and love will not stop him.
Quietly, he spoke against her hair. “And you’ll always be important to me.”
But never important enough, and never for the right reasons.
She stared out the window, knowing what came next. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”
He nodded and pulled her tighter against him. “I thought about what you said, and you’re right.”
Elysia looked up at him, feigning shock. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that to me before. Can you say it again?”
Leaning down, he whispered in her ear. “Elysia Parker, you were right, and I was wrong.”
Exhausted delirium must have taken her because uncontained giggles had her bending in half until her eyes watered and she hacked for air. “See, that’s what it sounds like when you’re actually funny.”
A small smile warmed Topp’s face. “I know I don’t have the right to ask this, but—” Uncertainty flashed across the prince’s face as his cheeks turned red. “Never mind,” he mumbled, running his fingers through already messy hair.
Curiosity piqued, Elysia stepped out of his grasp so she could face him and pushed gently on his chest. “Say it.”
The court- and forest-raised man in front of her ducked his head, refusing to meet her gaze. “I would like to be your friend.”
A sharp pang cut through her chest. Out of all the things, she hadn’t been expecting that. She spoke cautiously. “Friendship, like any relationship, demands trust.”
He nodded, fully flushed now and still staring at his feet. “Which is why I don’t deserve it.” He heaved a breath. “I’ll never be able to apologize or make up for what I did—for this version of me that I’ve become. I know I have no right to ask you for friendship I likely can’t uphold.”
“You’re right,” she said, but reached for his hand, thinking about how grief and pain had warped the best person she knew into this angry, confused man.
With thoughts of the boy she’d once known and how much she sometimes hated who she’d become, she offered Topp Blatz a reprieve from his guilt.
“Did you know Jessa was in love with Syren Herrin?”
He frowned. “The healer? That—”
“That I picked out of a lineup for your father.”
His face cleared as he took in the extent of what she was saying.
“Jessa chose to help me anyway because of how important this is. I wouldn’t say we’re friends, but we’re…something like it?”
Topp nodded, studying her intensely like it mattered what she said next. “Where does that leave us?”
“Maybe try to not leave me for dead or double-cross me, and we can revisit this conversation?”
Topp shoved his hands into his pockets with a grin she knew stole hearts all too easily. “Only because it’s you, Parker.”
She rolled her eyes with a smile, knowing better now than to fully believe him.
He stopped outside the room, the lines around his eyes deepening. “You take your path, Lys, and I’ll take mine. If they intersect… Well, then I would be the luckiest, but somehow, I doubt two curses make a right.”
She huffed. “Just don’t die, okay?”
The prince’s warm hand latched onto her waist as he swept down to press his lips to her cheek. “Take care of yourself, Parker. I’m sure I’ll see you.”