Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Kate
“Let’s get this over with,” Gus grumbles as we enter the attorney’s office.
I don’t know what the hell happened between dinner the other night and now, but I’m trapped between two petulant men, and I’ve just about had it.
Following my attempt at a family dinner, Gus escaped to brood in his room, and Vaughn disappeared to the barn. I didn’t see either one of them the whole next day. And now it’s Monday, and I am spending one of my last days off making these two jackasses play nice.
I blow out a breath to keep from losing my cool with Gus. The man tests my patience. “We talked about this. I told you Vaughn would be joining us, that Mr. Smith would read the will. Did you remember that, or do I also need to be worried about loss of cognitive function with you?”
Gus harrumphs from where he sits on one side of me, while Vaughn folds into the chair on the opposite side. He seems equally belligerent at the prospect of sharing proximity with Gus.
Luckily, Mr. Smith was able to squeeze us in to get the business of Ginny’s will handled and hopefully move forward.
My stomach churns at the prospect of what this meeting holds.
I shift in my seat, barely suppressing a groan as my sore muscles protest. I overdid it on the workout this morning, but if I’m going to meet the physical requirements of recruit class, I’ve got to be able to keep up.
I’ve got to be stronger, faster. Able to handle as much as a man twice my size can.
And if I imagine it being someone the size of Vaughn that I need to move, I need to work even harder.
I am hyperaware of the jean-clad thigh that extends next to me. Of the scuffed boots that rest next to my ballet slippers. Of the heat that radiates from the man I’ve been trying not to think about.
It does no good to fixate on that mental image of him shirtless while washing off on Saturday, but try telling my hormones that. As soon as I close my eyes, that glistening skin is all I can see.
Vaughn spreads his thighs wider as he settles in, and I instantly regret choosing a dress for this meeting.
Too many years of wearing masculine, shapeless uniforms, and at some point, I realized I felt better about myself when I wore more feminine clothes.
Just because I work in a male-dominated industry and wear a uniform that looks like a potato sack doesn’t mean I’m not a girly girl.
If anything, it’s made me embrace my feminine side even more lately.
“Thank you for responding, Mr. Adams.” Mr. Smith looks to both Vaughn and Gus.
“I know this meeting isn’t ideal for you.
And truthfully, I could’ve proceeded through this without having a formal reading.
But since you two are so stubborn, and Ginny and I both knew this would be a contentious issue, it was her request that you be together when the will was read. ”
This takes me aback. “Excuse me. I realize I’m the interloper here—”
“Why are you here?” This comes from Vaughn, the jab so full of animosity and vitriol it takes me a second to comprehend. “This doesn’t fall under the medical caregiver role.”
It’s like they’re both so emotionally constipated that they’re biting at the first thing they can to take some of their pain and frustration out on. Unfortunately, that’s me.
“I’m here because Gus asked me to come with him.” Seriously, why does Vaughn have an issue with me when I’m trying to help? I turn back to the attorney. “I want to know why the estate hasn’t been handled sooner. You obviously know the family, and Ms. Ginny has been gone for a year.”
Mr. Smith winces. “A failure on my part. I was battling cancer at the time Ginny died, and the management of my clients was handled by an associate who didn’t know Ginny. And I failed to follow up once I returned to work.”
I think it’s a crock of shit, but I also think he knows a lot more about this family than I do, so I hold my tongue. My role here is to be a peacemaker between Gus and Vaughn, and I know these two won’t take care of each other.
Ms. Ginny couldn’t even maintain the peace with them. I wonder how badly that broke her heart.
Beside me, Vaughn shifts and clears his throat. “I know what’s in that will. Gran told me.”
Wait. What? That sneaky—
“I know what’s in that will too,” Gus drawls. “Ginny, rest her soul, told me about it. We didn’t keep secrets.”
Time stills as a stunned silence washes over me.
All this time, I’ve been fretting and worrying over this old coot, and he’s making things hard on purpose. He’s known all along that he needed to do this. To take these steps. Just like he knows he should be taking better care of himself.
And if Vaughn knew, and he didn’t initiate the process…
My thoughts spiral as I come to terms with reality.
There’s no peace to be made between these two.
Why am I, a complete stranger to these people, tied up in the middle of their drama?
I’m a fool, caught in the middle of something that is none of my business, all because I’m so hell-bent on family taking care of each other.
I’ve come to care about Gus, probably too much, in the short time I’ve been with him, and he’s had the key to help himself all along? It’s so much more than sneaking a donut when he knows he shouldn’t.
I feel betrayed, and I have no right to. I shouldn’t care, shouldn’t be so invested. Maybe Vaughn is right, as much as it pains me to admit. Maybe I need to butt out and mind my own business.
“You know what? I’m done.” I stand and, as gracefully as possible, skirt past Gus, who’s looking at me with a stunned expression.
“Now, Kate—”
“Nope. I don’t need this. Gus, you need to get your head out of your ass and handle your bullshit. Get a ride back to the farm with Vaughn.”
“Where are you going?” they ask in unison.
“Away from you,” I bark, striding to the doorway, fighting tears. For what, I’m not sure. I haven’t been this mad or disappointed in a person since Jackson pulled his stupid stunt and left the department.
With as much dignity as I can muster, I hold my head high while I march through the door, through the office, and out to my car.
* * *
I drop my suitcase by the front door and take a moment to catch my breath. I barely paused in my mad dash to change out of my dress and throw on my favorite jeans and FD T-shirt.
I’m being irrational, I know, but I can’t live like this. I don’t want to face hostility all the time, and I’m tired of walking on eggshells.
These two can have at it, and I’ll figure out somewhere else to stay for a while.
I swing by the barn to check for anything I may have left there. The reality of how much I’m going to miss this beautiful place seeps in, and a wave of melancholy washes over me.
This isn’t me. I’m not this sad girl, quick to fly off the handle.
Maybe I feel upset because, despite my best efforts, he won’t listen, won’t take care of himself, and makes life difficult in general.
Maybe I feel sad for them both because they refuse to sort their issues.
Mostly, I feel like I’m all alone, with no one to care about me, and I resent that they have each other and won’t man up and realize it.
Needing a connection to someone, I call Maggie.
“Hey girl, how’s it going?” she says, the classic rock playlist and low hum of a busy day in her bakery filling the background.
Maggie and I got tight while Jackson was gone.
Admittedly, the hopeless romantic in me kept wishing he would come home and make things right.
I took refuge in the distraction that being her friend in her time of need provided.
Focusing on her needs made my loss a little easier to bear.
Maybe that’s what I’ve been doing with Gus.
Using his situation to avoid the heartache that creeps in when I’m not distracted.
The knot in my throat makes it hard to speak.
“Kate? You there?”
“Yeah.” It comes out as a whisper.
“Hey, needle-pusher,” Jackson calls from the background, and the tears that have been threatening since the lawyer’s office spill over.
I am not crying over two men. I’m simply missing having a family of my own.
I can no longer ignore that there’s no one in this world I can claim as mine.
My breath hitches as grief hits me full force.
“Kate.” Alarm rings in Maggie’s tone. “Are you okay?”
“What’s wrong?” Jackson’s voice is closer now. “Who do I need to fuck up?”
I huff a laugh because that is so Jackson. “No one. I’m just having a pity party.”
There’s a scuffling sound, then a muffled Maggie telling Jackson to handle the front for a minute. When she’s back on the line, I give her the rundown of the day’s events.
“You want to come stay with me and Jax? We’ve got space and would love to have you. And I’ll also get him to check and see if his old apartment is available.”
Just hearing how quick they are to stand up for me and show their support soothes some of the emptiness I feel inside. “I don’t know about the apartment piece, because his place was a shithole. But I might take you up on the couch surfing. For a little while, anyway.”
The crunch of tires on gravel sounds behind me, and I turn to find Vaughn’s rental pulling up at the house. I’ve somehow wandered all the way down to the field that should enclose a couple of horses or some goats or other animals. It’s as empty as the space in my chest.
“I’ll be over in a little bit,” I tell Maggie. “Thanks.”
“Don’t worry, girlfriend. Everything is going to be okay,” she tells me before ending the call.
Do I want to shack up with the new lovers? No. But it’s far better than spending another minute with the two men glowering between me and my waiting luggage.
“What’s this baloney?” Gus gestures to my suitcase on the front steps as I make my way to the house. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“This isn’t working for either of us, Gus. It’s not a good fit.”
The tips of his ears turn pink. He sticks a thumb through the strap of his suspenders. “What about my di-bee-tus?”
A sad smile tips the corners of my lips. I love how he mangles the word. “You know how to manage your medical issues on your own, if you’ll just do it. You don’t need me.”
There’s a long pause, and his throat works below the scruffy beard, and then, without looking at me, he nods once. “Fine.”
My heart cracks a little more as he climbs the creaky front steps. He can’t even see that he’s stolen a piece of my heart and is willing to let me go.
It’s a ridiculous thought since I’m the one who decided she was done with the games.
If I were reading this in a romance novel, I’d want to punch the heroine for being too stupid to live. Overly dramatic.
But real life isn’t a romance novel. And sometimes it hurts to have to make decisions for self-preservation.
“Can he really manage on his own?” Vaughn’s deep voice cuts through my thoughts.
“Yeah. He really doesn’t need me. Especially if you’re here. Truth is, he could have been fine all along. He was just lonely.”
I gather my suitcase, which Vaughn takes from me and escorts me to my car.
It’s unfortunate that he’s as stubborn as his grandpa.
He’s too handsome for his own good, but he’s so emotionally stunted he can’t see the gifts he has in front of him.
If I had any type of family left… I’d try damn hard to make peace. But that’s probably my own naivete.
“Maybe you two can make amends,” I state once he’s got my suitcase loaded into the trunk of my SUV. “It sucks to be alone in the world.”
“I’ve been alone for the past twenty years. Largely because of that pain in the ass who just walked into that house.”
I offer him a sad smile. “Not really. You still had the opportunity for family.”
“And you don’t?” he fires back, my words obviously having struck a nerve.
“No, Vaughn. I don’t.” That quiet truth rings hollow, melancholy, in the crisp morning. I slip into the driver’s seat, the coolness of the leather seeping through my dress, and close the door on the frustrating man.
Despite my trying to avoid looking at the charming farmhouse I’ve begun to love, I can’t deny myself one last glance in the mirror as I drive away. Vaughn scowls after me, hands in the front pockets of his jeans.
I don’t know what’s going to happen to Gus, or to Vaughn, but maybe it’s better that way. My heart is already broken enough.
My phone rings, and the display on the dash shows Pollock’s name. For a heartbeat, I consider answering. Remembering all I thought we had together. And then I remember how it ended and decline the call. I’ve got my shift with my crew, and then my life can start over.
New career, new me.
I don’t need the Adams men holding me back, anyway.