Chapter 48 Maddy
MADDY
Now that I’d learned some ways to stay calm and collected, things seemed to be a little bit better.
My wolf and I had grown closer. I couldn’t put a finger on what had caused it, but I was grateful.
It was probably the reason I was able to look past my own anxiety about shifting and could feel hers.
She was just as anxious as I was, if not more.
My wolf wanted to be with her mate, but she said it wasn’t time.
The waves of emotion I felt from her were sometimes overwhelming, and I still found that difficult to understand.
Nico told me it was normal. In fact, he said it was more normal than the words I heard from her.
Nico’s wolf shared its feelings, emotions, fears, and desires with him.
Every shifter had that symbiotic relationship with their wolf.
Although mine was on a wholly different level, and no one could understand it.
Yet, it made sense to me. A living and thinking being shared my body, so why wouldn’t she speak to me?
Apparently, that was unheard of. It wasn’t a constant hum of words buzzing through my mind all day.
It was sporadic and usually in simple two, sometimes three-word bursts.
Enough for me to know she was there, but not enough to drive me mad.
Regardless, I felt better than I had in days.
It was a relief to sleep well for a few nights in a row.
As a side benefit, Nico was also more relaxed.
He and I were connected through mating, so I was sure my issues had weighed on him physically.
When I sat down to watch the next training session a day or two later, I felt almost totally normal.
It was a little while after lunch when I sensed someone walking up behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see Nico’s mom, Julia. “Oh, hi. Did you want to have a seat?” I asked, patting the grass beside me.
Julia and I had made up, and things were much less strained between us. It was still a little awkward because we were trying to get to know each other, but it was a pleasant awkwardness.
Julia shook her head. “Do you have a minute?”
I nodded. “Sure, what’s up?”
She took a seat next to me, folding her hands into her lap as she looked out over the field and watched her husband, sons, and the rest of her pack running, leaping, and fighting. “I know you’re going through a lot. I wanted to see if you wanted to talk about it or if you needed anything?”
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “Thanks, I don’t think so. I can only talk about it so much. After a while, it starts to feel redundant.”
Julia put her hand on my arm. “Your family is in danger. Your friend. There is nothing redundant about talking about that. Sometimes that’s the only way to make sense of a situation.”
My heart warmed, knowing I wasn’t being annoying and that everyone around me really did want me to feel better. “I know. If I need to vent or something, I know who to come to.”
Julia smiled. “I hope you do. I’d be happy to be the person you come to if Nico isn’t available. You have the support of everyone in the whole family. The whole pack, really.”
My talk with Julia lifted my spirits doubly, and I found myself talking to my wolf even more than usual. I couldn’t force her into coming out, but I could make sure she was calm and at ease. The breathing and meditation helped. It kept my mind off what was possibly happening to Mom, Dad, and Abi.
Each day brought the full moon and our deadline closer.
If we couldn’t figure out a way to rescue them, we’d have to make a decision.
Nico didn’t think there was a decision to make, but there were several options on the table.
One of them was sacrificing myself. He’d never go for that.
Not in a million years. Not even in a billion.
But they weren’t his family, his friends.
They were mine, which meant the final decision was mine. I hoped we wouldn’t get to that point.
That evening after the training session ended, Nico came running inside while I was working on dinner. He looked out of breath and waved his phone in the air. “Luis. He’s calling.”
I turned the stove to simmer and joined Nico in the living room. He answered the phone right before it went to voicemail. “We’re here,” Nico said.
“Hey. Just checking in,” Luis said.
I sat forward, eager to hear any news he might have. “Have you found anything yet?”
Luis chuckled. “Unfortunately, investigations like this aren’t easy or quick. When someone wants to pretend they’re dead, they tend to do a good job of hiding.”
“So nothing yet, it sounds like?” Nico asked.
“No. I’ll call again in a day or two for another update.
I’ve got a couple of leads I’m working on.
There’re only a few hospitals in town, so I’m trying to track down the people who would have been head of oncology around the time Maddy’s birth mother supposedly died.
Probably pointless, though. If it was faked, then they’ll have no memory of her. Like I said, I’ll let you know.”
“Okay. We’ll talk to you later. Stay safe out there,” Nico said.
After dinner, Nico and I sat on the porch. The weather had gotten cooler over the last few weeks—cooler for Florida, anyway. He had his arm around me when he leaned over to speak. “What do you think you’ll do if she is alive?”
“What?” I asked, pulled out of my post-dinner haze.
“Your biological mother? If she really is alive, how do you think you’ll react?”
That question had been nagging at me ever since Nico brought up the possibility. I still thought it was a long shot, but I had to admit I had no clue what I’d think or do if it turned out to be true.
“I’ll be honest. I have no idea how it’ll affect me until I’m face to face with it.
The parents who raised me, my real parents, are great.
Amazing even. I love them so much—it’s why I’m so torn up about them being kidnapped.
” I swallowed hard, trying to fight back the tears.
“Am I still mad that they suppressed my wolf with drugs all those years? Sure, but they had their reasons. Kenneth basically told them I’d die if they didn’t.
I think they should have told me once I was older and let me make my decision myself, but that’s behind me.
I’ve had a great life, and it’s sort of scary to think that I might never have had that.
“It makes me really sad to think about a life without Mom and Dad in it. Even if Gabriella and David were truly fantastic people, they aren’t my parents, not really. They gave me the DNA that made me, but my adoptive parents raised and loved me. Nature versus nurture, you know?”
Nico looked pained and patted my arm. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
I sat forward and put a hand on his shoulder. “No, don’t be like that. It’s not bad. I don’t feel bad. I miss them, yeah, but that just means I really love them.”
“Okay. I felt like I was rubbing salt in the wound for a second there.”
I shrugged. “I get it.” I looked down at the floor, thinking.
I remembered all the vacations with my parents.
The way they saved to send me to college.
Even the awkward silence when I told them I was using my business degree to open a bar, followed by more love and support.
My lower lip started to tremble, and tears filled my eyes.
“Nico, we have to save them. Even if my birth mother is alive, she didn’t hold me when I scraped my knees.
Dad did. She didn’t sit and hold me for an hour when my first boyfriend broke my heart in high school. Mom did.”
Nico pulled me close, and I took comfort in the warmth and strength of his body. His lips were by my ear. “I’ll do everything I can to fix this. I’ll go until I’m damned bloody and beaten before I stop trying to get them back for you. We won’t let the royals win.”
His words stirred something deep inside me.
My wolf reacted to the words, and anger and rage radiated off her.
I tried talking to her in my mind, using calming and placating words.
None of those words meant anything because even I knew they were lip service.
I felt the same emotions she did. The wolf’s fury coalesced in my stomach and chest like a stone.
I could almost see her stoic furry face, the pissed-off fire in her eyes.
It didn’t feel like an animal—it felt like something more than that.
I pulled away from Nico and shook my head, bewildered by the sensation. “I know I keep saying this, but my wolf is… strange.”
“What happened?” Nico asked, looking worried.
“The same as all the times before. It’s like she knows more and feels more than other wolves. At least from the way you describe it.”
Nico nodded, but he didn’t say anything else. He already knew what I meant. It was part of the reason he was probably desperate to find my biological mother. We needed answers. More mysteries and questions were not welcome. Answers. Please, God, just some answers.