Chapter 60 Maddy #2
The first emotion that flooded into my mind from her was sadness. It started small, a tiny ache at the back of my mind, then grew until I could feel it in every inch of my body. Then a low, almost embarrassed growl whispered in my mind. No.
My heart ached for the girl. She must have been very young when those awful men killed her.
Maybe only eleven or twelve? A child. Her hesitancy, confusion, and wariness all made much more sense now.
We were both trying to figure out how to shift together.
She’d never had the chance to come to her full power.
She’d been killed because of what she might become.
I really couldn't blame her for being afraid to come out into the world.
After resting for another while, I managed to get up to head back. I needed to tell Nico what I’d discovered and see if he had any ideas on how to proceed. Surely there was a way to help put my wolf at ease.
I found him in the field, watching as the pack continued a different drill. He wasn’t participating. When he saw me emerge from the woods, he smiled and waved a hand toward me. Skirting the practicing group, I walked up to him and pulled him aside.
“How was it?” Nico asked once we were away from the noise.
“Great, actually, I made some real progress with my wolf. If I concentrate really hard, I can make my hands shift.”
Nico’s eyes widened in surprise. “Wow, seriously? Can I see?”
“Uh, it’s a little exhausting. I’ll try to show you later. I wanted to talk to you about something else. I think I know the real reason my wolf is having such a hard time coming out.”
“Okay, let’s hear it.”
Once again, I went over the dream of her death and told him what the men had said. Then what my wolf had confided in me—that she’d been killed before ever having her first shift, that she was as inexperienced as I was. When I was done, I could see realization dawning on Nico’s face.
“Damn,” Nico said when I was done. “You’re right.
Shifter puberty is tough, but it’s even tougher on girls.
” He nodded toward two women running across the field with the group.
“Those two are my cousins Eliza and Francisca, and they had a really difficult time when they first shifted. I feel like I’m a good resource for you, but I was never a prepubescent female shifter.
Maybe you could talk to them and see if they have any pointers for you. If you want to, that is.”
“At this point, I’ll do anything if it helps.”
After the practice session was done for the day, Nico introduced me to his cousins. They were gorgeous, and I could tell they must have been twins. They weren’t identical, but they looked alike enough to make it obvious that they were related.
“Eliza, Francisca, this is my mate, Maddy.”
I nodded and gave a little wave. “Hey.”
Eliza raised an eyebrow. “Oh, we know you. The woman who finally nailed Nico down. Impressive.”
My cheeks flamed, and I grinned, shrugging awkwardly. “That’s me, I guess.”
Francisca hugged me. “Don’t mind my sweat.”
Returning the hug, I said, “You’re fine. I’m probably pretty stinky from this morning too.”
“You guys have heard the deal right?” Nico asked. “About Maddy being a shifter?”
Francisca and Eliza looked at each other and exchanged exaggerated eye rolls. Francisca crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “The entire pack knows, Nico. It’s not really a secret.”
“Right. Anyway, I thought you guys could hang out this afternoon. I’ve given her all the pointers I can about shifting, but you guys might have a better understanding of how it is to be a female and go through your first shift.”
“We might?” Eliza said scathingly, glaring at Nico.
“Oh, hell. You know what I mean,” Nico said, and the two women giggled.
Francisca took my arm and started walking away. “Come, Maddy. We must give you all the secrets we mysterious female shifters have. The men aren’t to know our mystical ways.”
Nico sighed. “You guys are assholes. You know that?”
Francisca and Eliza laughed as we walked across the field toward a house at the end of one of the three streets of the Lorenzo compound. Once we were inside, Eliza immediately opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of white wine. “Who’s down?” she asked, waving the bottle over her head.
“Me.” Francisca raised a hand.
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
The three of us took seats on the couch, wine glasses in hand, shoes kicked off. It was strange. I’d met the two of them less than fifteen minutes before, and we hadn’t even started our conversation, but I already felt like I’d known them for years.
“Okay, Miss Maddy, what do you want to know?” Eliza asked before taking a large sip of her wine.
“Well, uh, I guess I wanted to know exactly what you guys went through when you did your first shift. What was it like? Any tips for getting over the hump, so to speak?”
“Oh shit,” Francisca murmured. “We could go on for days on that.”
“For real,” Eliza added.
“Is it really that much different from men at that age? Like, isn’t it basically the same?” I felt dumb for even asking the question, but I wanted to know.
Francisca chuckled and leaned forward. “Sweetheart. Think about what you’re saying.
When normal human men go through puberty, they grow some hair on their balls, their voices get deep, and then their dicks get bigger and start getting hard at the drop of a hat.
Women? Jesus, the boobs, the hair, fucking cramps, blood leaking out of you, and so freaking many hormones.
It’s a whole ordeal. Now, imagine that, along with a fucking magical creature living inside you and wanting to come out and change your body.
It’s so much more difficult. Girls usually don’t have their first shift until after most boys, simply because so much shit is happening with our bodies that it’s hard to focus on shifting.
Boys are usually nine or ten. Girls are ten or eleven, on average. ”
I drained my glass and sat it down so Eliza could refill it. “So, tell me what you do to get that first shift out of the way?”
The sisters gave me pointers that were sort of on the same line as Nico’s meditations, but they also went deeper into what to say to the wolf.
They had tidbits of wisdom and some funny stories about their own attempts to shift the first few times.
We sat and talked for a couple of hours, finishing two bottles of wine.
Nico’s cousins were plowing through glass after glass, and I was doing my best to keep up as the conversation went on, but I was getting tipsy.
“Oh shit,” Francisca said, glancing at her sister. “Look at Maddy’s eyes.”
Eliza leaned forward and looked at my face. I had a hard time not giggling at her. “Damn. We’ve literally been sitting here talking about how she hasn’t shifted yet, and we let her get drunk.”
At the back of my drunk and fuzzy mind, I remembered shifters metabolized alcohol ten times faster than humans. It looked like I hadn’t received all the benefits of shifterdom yet. I was buzzed while they still looked fit to drive cross-country.
“Umm, I better get going,” I said, rising unsteadily to my feet. I felt a dizzying rush swoop through my head. “Oh damn.” I put a hand out and balanced myself on the couch.
“Welp, let’s get you home,” Francisca said, standing up and putting her glass on the table.
She walked me home, and as I moved, I realized I was plowed. This wasn’t buzzed. This was way more drunk than I’d been in months. By the time we got to Nico’s place, I wasn't stumbling over myself and hanging on Francisca, but I was still fairly hammered.
“Can you get the rest of the way in, or do you need me to get you inside to a chair or something?”
I patted her shoulder. “No thanks.” I chuckled and leaned in to whisper conspiratorially. “I’m gonna go in here and try to get Nico's pants off. After that, I’ll—”
“Gross, stop.” She held her hands up and looked like she’d throw up. “Whatever you do, have fun, but I don’t want to hear about my cousin knocking boots.”
I made my way, carefully, up to the front door.
I glanced over my shoulder as she left, waving at her before I went inside.
I fumbled through, locking the door behind me, and walked in to find Nico standing in the kitchen, looking delicious as hell.
I did my best sexy saunter toward him, though if I was honest, I probably looked more like a drunk sloth than Jessica Rabbit.
“Well, how did that go?” Nico asked.
Moving close, I ran a finger down his chest. “Good. But not as good as things are about to get.” I blinked hard two times as the room started spinning slightly.
Nico glanced down at my finger as it slipped past his belly and down to slip across his crotch. He smiled. “Is this what I think it is?”
Confusion swirled in my head, and I looked down at my hand. “Uh… it… it is a penis, right?”
Nico burst out laughing and shook his head. “No.”
“It’s not a penis? What the hell am I touching then?” I was so confused, and I had a hard time focusing.
“No, I mean, are you trying to seduce me?”
I looked up into his face and grinned. “Yup.”
“I think maybe you should sleep it off. Maybe try the whole seduction thing sober tomorrow morning if you want.”
Raising an eyebrow, I said, “Oh really? Are you going to say no to this?”
Lifting my hands to my chest, I swear to God I thought I was trying to pull the buttons apart to reveal my bra.
My wine-addled brain had forgotten that I was wearing a T-shirt and not a button-down.
Instead, I grabbed the cotton fabric and yanked, doing nothing but stretching my shirt and hurting my fingertips.
“Well, shit.” I looked down and pouted. “I was trying to show you my tits.”
“Okay, that’s the cue to get you to bed.” Nico put an arm around me and helped me up the stairs.
We lay in bed, getting ready to fall asleep, and I patted Nico on the chest. “I really like your family.”
“We’re mated now, Maddy. They aren’t just my family. They’re yours too.”
That sent a warm, tingly feeling through my whole body, which had nothing to do with the alcohol. Having his family welcome me like they had was a nice way to soften the pain of having my own family taken from me. Feeling loved like that was exactly what I needed.
“Thank you so much, Nico. I don’t think I can ever thank you enough.”
“You don’t need to thank me. You’re my mate, and I love you. You are my family, and that means I put you first.”
A new thought formed in my head as I ran my fingers over his chest. An idea I’d not allowed myself to contemplate until right then. Maybe the alcohol had opened some doorways I didn’t know were waiting to be opened.
“What are your thoughts on family? I mean… a family for us?”
Nico shifted his position in bed. “I’ve always wanted kids. You’ve seen my brothers. I had a big family. It’s definitely something I want. What about you?”
“Yeah. I do. One day anyway. Things are a little crazy right now to plan something that big, though.”
Nico rubbed my back. “Right. How about this? One day, when all this craziness is over and behind us, we can revisit this conversation. When I know for sure, you and your family are safe.”
A smile crept across my lips. “That would be fantastic. I’d like that.”