Chapter 4 #2
He couldn’t deny the attraction he’d felt toward Sage from the moment she’d confronted him outside her home.
She was a strong woman—standing up to Sherman and his “guard dog” had proven that immediately—but she had a softer side too, one that still mourned the loss of her husband.
And Adam was a man who hadn’t even held a woman’s hand since he’d been a teenager, unless it was to offer comfort in a time of need.
Yet thoughts of Sage kept wandering into territory they had no business going.
Although he had left the Brotherhood, his devotion to his God and the principles that shaped his adult life remained steadfast. He’d faced temptation many times since taking his vows, and denying his attraction to women had often been one of the tougher challenges. After all, he was human.
Since his release from prison, he’d been adjusting to more than simply being a free man again.
For the first time in twenty years, he was free to decide for himself what he wanted his life to be.
Several women had flirted with him during his travels over the past few months, and although he felt flattered, he had never been tempted to pursue anything with them.
Casual intimacy had never felt right to him.
Even without his vows, a part of him still believed two people should share that part of themselves only when love was involved.
Some of the older brothers, along with leaders of other faiths, would insist that marriage should come first. Adam wasn’t so certain anymore.
His faith hadn’t changed, but his understanding of it had.
The world had changed since many religious laws were written, and he believed people's treatment of one another mattered most. Do no harm.
Help when you can. Love when you are fortunate enough to find it.
But he had harmed another, and that act still darkened his soul despite the extenuating circumstances. A man had died at his hand, and while he hoped God would forgive him come his Judgment Day, he wasn’t sure he could ever forgive himself.
Pushing off from the window frame, he strode across the cabin to his bedroom.
It was a step above sparse, with a few basic, impersonal touches.
But a lack of worldly possessions was something he’d gotten used to in both the seminary and rectories he’d lived in for well over a decade and the six-by-eight-foot cell that had been his home for over five years.
Flopping down on the full-sized bed, he picked up the worn paperback copy of a John Grisham novel he’d bought for twenty-five cents at a yard sale in Iowa a few days earlier. He’d spotted it while walking toward the interstate in search of his next ride.
He read only a few pages before his eyes grew heavy. Giving up on the book, he switched off the bedside lamp and rolled onto his side. As he drifted off, one final thought crossed his mind.
Sage Hammond really was a beautiful woman.
Groaning, Adam rolled over and stretched out a few kinks.
It was day fourteen of working at Heaven’s Pastures, and he slept better every night.
Each morning before breakfast, he went for a run.
During his time in prison, he’d kept up his physical fitness as best he could.
With few opportunities for aerobic exercise, he’d focused mainly on weightlifting and Krav Maga Retzev drills—a continuous series of strikes meant to neutralize a threat.
The routines got his heart rate up, but they were no substitute for the morning runs he’d missed.
Since his release, he’d worked himself back up to four miles a day.
Combined with the physical labor of keeping a ranch running, he was feeling fitter than he had in years.
The only thing disturbing his sleep these days was the occasional dream about one Ms. Sage Hammond.
He’d taken a vow of celibacy upon entering the Brotherhood and, for the next fifteen years, relied on meditation whenever his thoughts strayed in directions they shouldn’t.
Prison had changed how he dealt with even that.
He’d quickly learned that showing any kind of vulnerability could make a man a target, forcing him to adapt in ways that conflicted with the vows he’d lived by.
It had taken him a long time to accept that doing what was necessary to survive didn’t make him less faithful to his beliefs.
Standing, he headed to the small bathroom. Just as he flushed the toilet, a pounding on the cabin’s front door startled him.
“Adam! Adam! Hurry! Come quick!”
Matthew sounded frantic and breathless. Yanking on his sweatpants, Adam rushed to the door and swung it open. “What’s wrong?”
The boy’s face lit up as it were Christmas morning. “Diamond Lil is having her baby! You have to come watch it with us!” He grabbed Adam’s hand and tried to pull him outside.
“Okay. Okay. Hang on. Let me get my shirt and shoes.”
He dressed quickly, chuckling at Matthew’s impatience as the boy shifted from foot to foot and gestured for him to hurry. “Come on, or we’ll miss it!”
A few moments later, Adam followed him into the barn, where Sage, Jenna, and Evan peered into a stall.
Sage smiled when she saw him, rekindling the attraction he’d been trying not to think about.
Without makeup and with her hair pulled into a loose ponytail, she was prettier than any woman he’d ever met.
Her hazel eyes danced with excitement as she waved him over.
“You’re just in time. She went into labor sometime after I checked on her last night around nine-thirty.”
Adam stepped closer and saw the white-and-black-spotted mare lying on a bed of hay. Her nostrils flared as her body quivered with a contraction, and sweat glistened on her coat.
Glancing at Sage and the children, Adam grinned. They’d obviously witnessed this before, but the experience clearly hadn’t lost its magic. From the looks on their faces, they’d been anticipating this moment for weeks.
Jenna looked up at him. “Have you ever theen a baby horthe being born, Adam?”
“No, Little Bird, I haven’t.” He’d looked up the meaning of her name after their first dinner together and used it as a nickname ever since.
It fit her to a “T” with her sweet voice and constant chattering now that she was comfortable around him.
“But I saw a cat have kittens once when I was about Matthew’s age. ”
“Our barn cat had kittenth before, but a baby horthe is even better!”
“Really? How come? I thought all babies were special.”
She held out her hands as if the answer should be obvious to him. “Becauthe the baby kittenth can’t do anything until they get bigger, but a baby horthe can thand thoon after being born.”