Four #4
The steps get closer, my heart hammering in my chest and then Declan is there, two small sacks hanging from his fist.
I shrink back.
“Oh, you’re awake?” We say nothing. “Look at the mighty Dragonbond now. You look like you can’t even lift your own legs.”
“Why don’t you come inside and find out just what I can do,” Rohan replies, tone deadly.
“Why would I bother?” His eyes turn to me. “I can make you hurt in another way.”
Rohan freezes, and when Declan comes to my cell, he produces a key and puts it in the lock.
“Don’t do that.” Rohan says it calmly, though he is anything but. I can feel the violence swirling inside of him, but I’m not afraid.
“Why?” Declan asks, his brown hair falling over his forehead a little.
The lock clicks, and my heart hammers in my chest as I push myself as far back against the bars to Rohan’s cell as possible.
Rohan turns me to him, moving his arm through to band around my waist, my back to him.
Declan laughs. “You think that will stop me or anyone else?”
“Nothing will get to her.”
Declan chuckles, a dark sound. “I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you find out just how wrong you are.”
He shuts and locks the door, the bang vibrating around the space and then he walks off, laughing.
I tremble against Rohan. My limbs tingling.
“It’s okay, I have you.” He strokes the back of my head. “I know you’re hurt, Alara, I know I did that to you, but please.” He moves me back a little, turning me and putting his fingers under my chin and lifting my gaze to his. “You must do what I say, I cannot protect you otherwise. Let me.”
The feel of his warmth against my skin nearly makes me want to sag into him, but I stop myself.
I gaze into eyes that are ringed purple and finally nod.
I’ll let him do that, but anything else…
“Thank fuck,” he breathes. “Now, go and grab the sack and eat.”
I do as I’m told on shaky limbs, the numbness leaving me completely after everything he’s just told me.
His mother, the king, his conception, how I make him feel.
Is it true? Can I believe him?
Grabbing the sack, I hesitate before I return to him and we sit. Rohan facing the cell door as I empty the newest sack.
Bread and water.
I take a sip, relishing the cool liquid going down my throat as Rohan tears at some bread, holding it out to me.
I hesitate, my eyes flicking to his and he waits patiently until I take it, our fingers brushing and he stares at the space when I pull back.
“Eat,” he says gently, and I put the bread into my mouth. It’s stale, but I eat it anyway, even when my stomach rebels.
Rohan keeps handing me bits of bread as he drinks from the waterskin, and soon enough, the bread is gone, and my stomach is uncomfortably full even though it wasn’t that much.
“Done?”
I nod, and he throws the sack aside.
“You eat too,” I whisper, unable to help myself as I look at his bruised and battered face.
“Not hungry, I gave you mine.”
My mouth opens in shock. “Rohan.”
“No, you need it.”
But so does he.
I look to the bars where he bent them, and I realize with a little more, I could maybe fit through them. I’ve filled out a little in the Wilds, but I’m still on the skinny side.
“What happened?” I ask, looking down at his forearms, my stomach knotting at the sight. “You’re still bleeding.”
“Nothing to worry about.”
“But—”
He moves his hands through the bars, cupping my face and I still, eyes on him. “I’m fine, Little Whisperer, the only thing I need is for you to forgive me. I can’t stand that hurt look in your eyes, it kills me.”
I swallow.
“I hurt you, I’m sorry. I was never giving you to him, you have to believe me.” His thumbs stroke over my cheeks. “In the end, I went back on my word, my word that is my honor and I refused. I lied, I put everyone in danger to keep you.”
How his words are the right things to say but…
“You didn’t tell me, you didn’t give me the choice to decide.”
“I know.”
“I thought you of all people would have given me that choice seeing as though I’ve never had one until you started to give them to me.”
His eyes shine with anguish. “I’m sorry.”
“Do you think I wasn’t capable, is that it? That I couldn’t handle it?”
“I didn’t want to put you in more pain.” I go to turn away but he holds me steadily. “I know that reason is not good enough but it’s the only one I have. I just didn’t want you in fucking pain anymore, Alara.”
My eyes sting, and I feel myself crumbling a little at that admission, even though I’m so confused.
He hurt me, lied to me, but he cares for me, wants to make sure I’m safe and I…
“I just don’t know what to believe anymore,” I admit.
His eyes close for a moment, like he’s in pain, and he nods, resigned.
He brings my face closer and places the softest of kisses to my forehead through the bars, and my heart breaks even more.
“That’s okay, I understand. I will earn your trust back no matter how long it takes, no matter what it takes, just… stay with me, at least?”
My brows furrow.
“Just one thing? Remember?”
His eyes are so focused on me as he says it that I have to look away.