Thirty Three #2
“Always,” she says, vehemently. “Some things happened and you weren’t safe.
I just needed you to be safe. I was going to get you once I was sure I could protect you.
After seeing the blood, I thought you were dead, but Adly’s body had washed up on the cliffs of the border between the Eleven Lands and Dracozar.
It didn’t make sense. Why was he that far away?
” She shakes her head. “I was convinced you were still out there somewhere, I felt it—here.” She places a hand on her heart, eyes sincere.
“And I can feel it now, the connection I have with you. It never faltered, only faded.”
“Connection?” I ask, brows furrowed.
She nods. “Like a root we’re joined to.”
A root…
“Why wasn’t it safe for me?”
Her eyes cloud over. “Being the elves we are, some people don’t like that. They want to rule instead, not liking our ways, and will do whatever they can to get it. That night when I had you leave, it was to make sure at least one of us survived.”
I swallow roughly. “You could have died that night?”
She nods. “I went in another direction and someone saved me.”
“Are you safe now?”
She hesitates before shaking her head. “I’m never safe, sister.”
My stomach turns at the thought. “What will you do?”
“Fight back.” she says.
“Can I do anything to help? Maybe you could come back home with us?”
She smiles sadly at that.
“I need to be here, I need to save my people.”
Guilt fills me. “I should be there helping.”
“You should be safe,” she says softly. “That’s all you need to be. All you need to do. Just stay safe. Get out of these Games.”
“We are trying,” I say, and she nods. “I don’t really remember much about…
before. My childhood,” I admit, shaking my head.
“I remember I was begging you to come with me and that I was scared, but I don’t remember anything before then really.
After that I was sold, and had been in slavery ever since…
well.” I look back at Rohan. “Until him.”
Her gaze drops to the scars on my neck. “He set you free?”
“In many ways. He saved me.”
“I hate what you’ve been through.” I hear the guilt in her voice.
“You were just trying to protect me.”
“And I think I made it worse.” Her eyes meet mine again. “What if I had just kept you with me, hid you somewhere else?”
“You said you could have died that night, if I were with you, maybe both of us would have.”
“But I lost you, for so long,” she croaks out.
“But we’re alive.”
She swallows roughly. “We are. When I was told an elf was here that looked like me, I had to come… grabbing onto my last hope with both hands, and I thank Elvanan that he led me to you.”
“That’s why you’re here?”
She nods.
I release a stuttering breath. “I’m glad.”
“I am, too.” Something flashes across her face. “Father isn’t well, his memories are fading, but I always tell him about you, remind him.”
Father…
My father.
“I have a father?” I shake my head. That sounds stupid. “I mean, he… I… Does… did he love me? Does my mother love me? Did they want me?”
Her face softens. “Oh, very much, sister. Father loves you so much, he wasn’t the same after you disappeared, and Mother would sing to you in her belly, always humming to you and I would sit at her feet while she braided my hair, excited to meet you.”
I smile, more tears stinging my eyes.
My mother and father love me. My sister loves me.
They didn’t get rid of me.
“And she would continue to sing to you after you were born, always. She called you her little lullaby, and I her little daydreamer.” Her eyes are soft as she tells me, but then they fill with pain.
“Where are they?”
“Father is back home, and mother, she died when you were two. Her health wasn’t great, and she just seemed to… deteriorate. Father did all he could, but her body wouldn’t heal.”
My… our mother was dead.
Is it odd to grieve for her? Even when I have never known her. Well, can’t remember her, anyway.
“And father’s health?” I croak out.
Her eyes cloud for a moment. “In his clear moments, he calls out for you, asks me where you are… He misses you dearly. You used to sit upon his shoulders and grab fruit from the orange trees. We used to play in the river, sleep with the elks. You were so tiny,” she says, giving me a small smile. “We’ve missed so much time together.”
I nod, thoughts swirling around my mind at a rapid pace. I had a family, have a family.
“Do they know?” she asks, nodding to Rohan. “Who you are? That you’re a princess? Did you know?”
I jolt at the formal word.
“I remembered not to tell my last name,” I say quietly, “I didn’t know why, and then over time, I didn’t know if I had imagined it.
But I kept my promise to not share it. It kept feeling like a betrayal every time I thought about telling someone.
” I look over at Rohan. I do want to tell him though, very much.
She nods. “He is good to you? Will he keep you safe? Do you trust him?”
“He’s always good to me,” I say softly, running my fingers over his knuckles. “He will always keep me safe, I trust him with my life.”
She watches the movement, something flashing across her face.
“That’s nice that you have someone like that for you,” she says, something sullen in her tone.
“I don’t see why you can’t tell him. Just him.
It would be wise to keep our stepmother away from you, and the less people that know, the better. ”
“Stepmother?” I think for a moment. “That woman? Ivara?”
She nods. “You need to stay away from her. At least for now. If she knew you were family, which makes you a princess…” Her body tenses.
“What do you mean?” I ask, heart crashing against my ribs.
“She can’t know you’re my sister. That you’re alive,” she says, almost desperately, gripping my hands.
“But why?”
“She’s not good—”
The tent flap opens to what sounds like a raven calling, and Alexandar storms in. “We have to go, they know we’re not in the castle.”
Niyah curses, placing her forehead to mine. “We’ll speak soon, keep safe, Elanore.”
I jolt at the name… my name, I realize, as she leaves with the prince.
“Elanore?” Rohan croaks, and I flinch, my eyes meeting his open ones.
I turn to him fully, stroking his face.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of that name on his lips.
“Fine,” he groans, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “Tell me.”
I eye the exit, my heart hammering. “When you’re feeling better, please?”
He sighs. “I can’t say no to you.”
I smile, placing a gentle kiss to his lips. He groans again, his eyes fluttering shut but he forces them back open.
“You should be resting.”
“I want to look at you,” he says.
“Rohan.”
“Looking at you makes me feel better, would you deny me?”
“That’s not fair,” I grumble.
“What’s not fair is how beautiful you are. It makes me want to tear everyone’s eyes out so only I can see you.”
“Rohan,” I splutter. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I am ridiculous when I’m around you, and dangerous when I’m not.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, looking at the wound. “If I’d just done it, it wouldn’t have gone in so deep.”
“You don’t have to be sorry.”
“No,” I say, voice firm. “I am, I’ll be brave next time.”
“Little Whisperer,” he murmurs, lifting a hand and running his finger across my lips. “You are the bravest person I know.”
I melt, taking his hand and placing it against my cheek and closing my eyes, needing to feel him.
“I was scared.”