Sixty Two
Alara
Home.
Though it doesn’t look like it did before.
It’s full of burned down cabins and tents, devastation having its way.
Clan Blackscale is up ahead, already getting to work and delegating tasks.
“We will be camping out for a while,” Rohan says, as the Dragons fly off to the cave at the back, Sparks in Drogonah’s mouth as he follows.
“We’ve camped before.”
Rohan turns to me, hand on the back of my neck. “It was different then.”
“It was, and it will be different now. Better.”
His eyes bounce between mine. “You would rather sleep on the hard ground on thin fur than in a royal bed?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation, and satisfaction lights his eyes.
“Good,” he rumbles, taking my hand and walking us toward the others, only to be stopped by a neigh.
“Serah!” Rohan says, as she comes over to us, whinnying. “I’ve missed you, girl.”
I can’t keep the smile off my face at seeing her as she laps up Rohan’s attention.
“I’m so glad she’s okay.”
“Of course she is,” he says seriously. “She’s fearless, this one.”
Serah bumps her head with ours, prancing around and then she trots off.
Rohan huffs. “Someone has apples.”
I giggle as we meet with the rest of the clan.
“I’ll get a pot on,” Fiona says as we near.
“I’ll gather the horses,” Tofa says distantly.
She’ll be doing it without Beau or Calian for the first time.
“I’ll check our preserve in the underground storage,” Bellamy says, and Rohan and I quickly join in to help where we can.
A fire is built back up in the center where the clan would gather, Melle throwing on little sticks, a big, proud smile on her face. Others have somber faces, and we all know why.
Not everyone made it back.
“The funeral?” I ask Rohan quietly, going through furs to see what can be saved.
“Soon. It isn’t fair to let them linger meeting Morana.”
“What of the dragons that…”
“The dragons will hold their own goodbyes.”
“They will?” He nods. “I don’t want to walk in the cave and see empty beds,” I admit.
Rohan blows out a heavy breath. “I don’t either.”
It isn’t long until we all get situated in the center, a pot of stew already bubbling, but I don’t feel hungry at all.
I eat anyway, under Rohan’s watchful eyes and then it’s time to go to the lake.
We don’t have all the bodies of the dead, but offerings are placed down for them, for Morana.
Tofa enters the water, and I leave Rohan’s side and join her.
I grip the apple in my hand and place it upon Beau’s wrapped body with Tofa, crying as we gently push him off in the water.
Ripples form around him, the moonlight reflecting off the water as he slowly gains distance from us.
He was my first friend, along with Tofa, who showed me kindness, and thinking about not seeing him in the stables is almost unbearable.
Then we get to Calian.
Tofa stands next to him, hand on his chest and the agonized look in her eyes is almost too much to bear.
“I love you,” she says, placing a kiss to his covered forehead, and then she gently pushes him off into the water, tears streaming down her face.
I reach over and grip her hand, and then I let her watch him go in private as I make my way back over to Rohan, wiping my face.
“You did well,” Rohan says, his tone like gravel. “Beau will love his gift.”
I realize this is the first time he’s said his name and not called him Stable Boy.
I nod, throat tight and he wraps his arms around me.
“Calian will go knowing he finally told Tofa he loved her.”
But it was too late, for both of them.
Rohan’s jaw is tight as more wooden platforms sail through the water, torches lighting their way.
“He will,” he murmurs.
“May Morana guide you,” the clan say as they float away.
“May Morana guide you,” I echo.
“May Morana guide you all,” Rohan says.
I clutch his hand in mine, leaning my head on his arm and we don’t move until the last fire is out, their journey complete to where Morana will take care of them.
“It’s so unfair, isn’t it?” I say.
“It is.”
“You feel guilt.”
“Always,” he rasps.
I nod against his arm.
“I hope I can help you bear that weight.”
“I don’t want to burden you with that feeling.”
“I want to help,” I tell him quietly.
“You just being here with me is helping more than you know.”
I look up at the side of his face, the moonlight shining down on him.
“Then here I’ll stay.”
We walk into the dragons’ cave, hand in hand, the heat of them hitting us, but even I can tell it’s not as strong as before.
“It feels like a lifetime ago since we’ve been here.”
Rohan grunts, eyes ahead.
We turn the corner and there they are.
They all chuff and rumble in greeting, but there is a sadness to it too.
I look over at the empty beds, my hand tightening in Rohan’s.
He squeezes back, and then he lets go, helping them put their beds together again by gathering rocks.
Escor grumbles, clawing at one and Sparks rolls one over to Drogonah who’s placing them perfectly.
Hakkon’s chest glows slightly as he fixes his, along with Hedoric, and Solia curls on her side, back to us. Her brother’s bed, Doren, is empty next to her.
Magnus curls up too, tail under his head as he looks over at Alter and Agnar’s beds.
I rub over my heart when Vex whines before laying down, moving a stone closer.
Four empty beds, an even emptier hole in my heart.
I look to Rohan, and he’s helping Escor at the far back, shoulders tight.
I can’t imagine what he’s feeling. I only knew them for such a small amount of time compared to him. Compared to all of them.
And as I look at each dragon one by one, it feels wrong to be separated right now.
I wipe away a tear that falls.
I don’t think I’ll ever stop crying, but it’s not a weakness, it shows that I cared. That I loved.
And I won’t ever be ashamed of that.
“Let’s all sleep in the middle,” I announce, going forward and picking up Sparks. Then I pick up a stone from Agnar’s bed, taking it with me.
Sparks chuffs, and I feel the weight of the dragons looking at me, Rohan too, but I find a spot in the center before I lay down on my side, placing Sparks in front of me and putting the rock down.
The silence is heavy, but then Escor lays down, curling around Sparks, dropping a rock to the ground. The other dragons move. One by one they lay down behind Escor, even Drogonah’s large body lays beside me, each one bringing their own rocks to the middle.
They’re cold at first, but they soon heat up with them being in the center.
Not long after, I feel a weight behind me, and Rohan lays at my back, arm around my waist. He puts his arm under my head so I can lay on it.
He opens that hand, and in it, is another rock.
Sparks comes over and takes it, rolling it with his snout and placing it with the others.
“Goodnight,” I whisper.
The dragons all rumble, and Rohan holds me tighter.
“Thank you,” he says into my hair.
I place my hand in his and squeeze.
It’s time for me to take care of him now.
I wake to sunlight shining down on us through the opening of the cave.
The dragons rise and stretch, and Rohan and I join them.
“Go hunt,” Rohan tells Drogonah, and he takes off.
Escor grabs Sparks by the tail and plays with him, Sparks jumping on his back and Escor rolling around. The other dragons either play or fly out too, as Rohan and I exit the cave.
A late spring morning greets us as we look over the settlement.
“There is much to do,” Rohan says, looking at the buildings that need replacing.
“It looks like the saddle room is intact,” I say, pointing at it.
“That’s good.”
I point to another. “And the small storage shed.”
He nods.
I look to his cabin and walk over to it, well, what’s left of it.
Half of it collapsed, and Rohan opens the door and begins rummaging through it.
I help take out some wood and burnt furniture, not looking at where the body of the man was. Where he died.
“Look,” Rohan says, and I go over to him. His mother’s book is in his hand.
“It survived.” I smile, tracing my fingers over it.
It’s a little burnt at the edges, but as he flips through the pages, it’s good enough.
“I’ll teach you to read it.”
“You will?”
“Of course.” He looks down at me. “If you want.”
I nod. “I want to.”
He grins, and we get back to cleaning up.
The morning turns to afternoon, and we’ve just hauled the last of the debris out, Escor bringing us buckets of water to clean the floor the best we can.
“We will have to rebuild most of it,” Rohan says, “but we’ll make it work.”
I smile, looking at the smudge of black on his cheek.
I reach up and wipe it off.
“It will be perfect,” I tell him.
Escor chuffs from around the side of the cabin that’s still intact, and we go over to him.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, as he claws at the ground, drawing my eyes down and I gasp. “Rohan, look.”
There, between the burnt roses bushes, of whatever’s left of them, is a single, small rose.
“It survived,” I say, feeling its petals with my fingers.
“It did.” He looks down at the rose, then at the cabin, his settlement and then finally, back to me. “Sometimes things need to burn to start anew.”
I turn to him, my stomach flipping as he holds out his hand to me.
His eyes are soft as he looks down at me, swirling with an intense emotion and I don’t hesitate. I place my hand in his.
“And start anew they will,” I tell him.
He pulls me to him, stroking the back of his fingers down my cheek, looking deep into my eyes.
“I love you,” he says gruffly, and the breath catches in my throat. “How you changed everything as soon as I set my eyes on you. I didn’t know how important you would become to me. How everything would narrow down to you.”
My heart skips a beat. “Rohan.”
“I told you to find just one thing to keep you here, but, Little Whisperer.” His hands cup my face. “All this time you have been mine.”
“Really?”
He nods. “Since the first time you braided my hair.”
I laugh, my heart so full. I can feel his love for me, his affection.
“I love you, too,” I say. “Very much.”
He releases a stuttered breath, eyes closing as if to savor my words.
So I say them again.
“I love you.”
His eyes open, and I smile.
“I. Love. You.”
He kisses me, hauling me up his body and into his arms. I laugh into the kiss, and feel his returning smile.
I never knew I could feel this happy despite the life I’ve lived, despite what we’ve been through, and though the sadness won’t fade from what has been lost, when Rohan puts me back on my feet and takes my hand, I know it will be okay.
And I know this is just the start.
Because of my thorn.
My Dragonbond.
My one thing that I will continue to live for, but most of all, and more importantly…
I will live for me, too.