Chapter 11 Shannon #2
Of course, he had to plonk himself beside me, squeezing his body onto the small two-seater. It would be a tight squeeze even if I weren’t carrying extra curves. Barney, however, might as well be sitting on my knee, he’s so close… too close, it’s making me hot and not in a good way.
One drink, I tell myself. Then I’m leaving.
“Mum and Dad bought a house; they put it in trust for me,” I tell him, and he nods as he takes a sip of his chardonnay. “My mother mentioned you were moving out,” he says.
“Yeah,” I say with a small smile on my face. “It’s time I left the nest.” This feels like one of those conversations where you have to hide a yawn behind your fist, only he’s now gripping my hand in his, forcing me to look in his eyes.
“God, I missed you, Shannon Newton.” Please, please someone save me. “There hasn’t been a day when I haven’t thought about you,” he adds, leaning further into my space, twirling a strand of my hair between his fingers.
This feels so bloody awkward. My response doesn’t help.
“Oh, um…nice.” I wanted to say I missed him too, but not the way he meant it, and classic Shannon rears her head again.
“Have you been eating fried onions, Barney?” I ask, he rears back slightly, then digs inside his suit jacket to pull out a small tin of breath spray.
I really need a moment to escape. I force the rest of my drink down, but end up swallowing a mouthful of air mixed with the fizzy bubbles.
I cough in my glass… you can’t take me anywhere.
What was meant to be my escape plan has turned into a full-blown coughing fit.
The perfect excuse for Barney to place his hand on my back and rub lazy circles.
“There, there,” he whispers, dropping his hand lower, trying to cop a feel of my arse, but I know what he’s up to.
My loud spluttering draws the attention of a few people trying to enjoy a late afternoon drink.
And then I see him.
Wesley.
Suddenly, he’s everywhere.
Maybe it’s the way his eyes flicked between us, like he was trying to work out who Barney was.
Quickly, I shrug Barney off, like a rogue fly.
Wesley’s sitting with a group of builders, all in hi-vis vests, work boots covered with disposable shoe covers.
Finally, I stop choking and look over at Wesley’s table.
We’ve been lucky enough to have decent weather these last couple of weeks, so I notice a few bare arms. Only my eyes?
They were already fixed on him, and I’m not trying to be subtle.
Jesus, his biceps tug against the seams hidden under his old, tattered T-shirt, threadbare, washed so much it moulds against his chest like a second skin.
His jeans cling in all the right places, scuffed and worn.
He looks so fucking hot, sitting with his legs sprawled out, thighs relaxed, slightly parted.
The poor lad next to him wedged in. Swallowed up by the sheer size of Wesley’s imposing form. What is this man doing to me? Why is he looking at me like that?
“Are you okay?” Barney asks, whilst literally forcing his head in front of me, blocking my view of Wesley.
“I need the toilet, then I should get home,” I whisper, not giving him the chance to stop me. Pushing up from the bench without a glance back, I head off towards the hallway and shove the door open to the toilets. Once inside, I catch my reflection in the mirror, my heart hammering in my chest.
Turning on the tap and washing my hands, not because I needed to but because I needed space to breathe, I wipe my hands down my top, then run my fingers through my hair. Finally pushing the door open.
And there he is.
Standing there, arms relaxed by his sides, back pressed against the wall in all his beautiful glory, filling up the small corridor.
He clears his throat. “I erm… think I owe you an apology.” The deep gravel of his voice skims over my skin, sending a delicious shiver down my spine.
“Oh yeah? For what exactly?”
He clears his throat. “For everything.” He exhales sharply. “For the job, even though I didn’t know you had an interview.” He clears his throat again, eyes flicking side to side. “For this morning… with the bull.”
I roll my eyes. “I was confused why you even bothered to help me with the bull,” I snap.
“Considering that a few days before, you drove off in a huff when your mate tried to talk to me.” My temper starts to rise the more I think about the way he's been acting. “You blow hot and cold, Wesley. It’s bloody exhausting.” This seems to be how we communicate with each other, but behind it all, there’s undeniable tension between us, and the only way we ever act on it is by bickering.
He lowers his head. “I was late for work.” Isn't he the boss? Maybe his wife doesn’t want him talking to me. If she remembers who I am…
Come to think of it, I haven’t seen his wife yet. And he’s not wearing a wedding ring.
I bet anything he takes the small band of commitment off, ready to meet his next unsuspecting victim.
“Does your wife know I’m moving in next door?” Something flashes behind his eyes, his jaw tightens as his eyes lock onto mine like a vice, his posture stiffening.
Looks like I’ve poked the beast.
“If you must know…” he grits out, taking a measured step closer to me. I swallow hard, my throat dry as my head tilts back, forced to look up at him, he’s so tall. “She left me.” He doesn’t wait for my reaction, just shakes his head and storms towards the door.
I should let him go.
But I don’t, not without having the last word, because she left me isn’t enough.
I tilt my head up, flicking my hair over my shoulder, and the words fall past my lips before I can stop them.
“Doesn’t surprise me that she left your cheating arse.” Have you ever said something you regret, then wondered how fast you could make a getaway?
His hand slips from the door handle, and he turns around fast. My eyes scan the hallway looking for the nearest exit.
Shit! My mouth needs to catch up with my brain.
Then he moves, fast and determined, with a lethal look in his eyes like a predator homing in on his next meal.
Before I can move, my back hits the wall, his body pressed hard against mine, heat rolls off him like waves, my heart hammering against my chest. The smell of his manly scent mixed with deodorant wraps around me.
I can barely catch my breath as I throw out my hands, palms flat against his hard chest, the beat of his heart thrumming under my touch.
He leans in closer, his breath feathers over my neck as he whispers in my ear.
“I’ve never fucking cheated in my life.” His voice is low, rough, like he’s barely holding it together.
Then he inhales, slow and deep. He looks into my eyes and whispers, “Does your little boyfriend know you couldn’t look away from my cock?
” He smirks, searching my face. Warmth spreads under my skin, crawling from my neck to my face.
“I didn’t think so.” He sucks in his bottom lip, eyes trailing down my body.
I must be feeling brave. “I see why your wife left you,” I spit out. “You couldn’t keep it in your trousers.” Shrugging my shoulders back.
He doesn’t say anything else.
He doesn’t have to; his eyes tell me I’ve hurt more than his pride. His brows pinch together in disgust, like I’m something he’s stepped on.
Dirty.
Repulsive.
Something inside me twists, as I watch him walk in the opposite direction to the bar. He pushes open the fire exit, the door slamming against the wall with a clatter, startling me.
“Shit, Shannon, you’re brutal.” The words swirl around in my head.
I take a deep breath, but it does nothing to stop the tight knot in my stomach resting heavy.
I need to get out of here.
Mouth meet brain. You two should really get to know each other before you spit out verbal diarrhoea.
“Thanks for dropping me off, Barney,” I say, but he turns away, climbing out of the car. Okay, it looks like he’s coming in.
Barney smiles, closing the car door behind him. “You didn’t think I was going to end our evening, did you?” he murmurs, as his hand skirts across my lower back, leading me into my parents’ house. “Your mum told me they were out; we might as well make the most of this evening together.”
I couldn’t think of anything worse. It’s not that I don’t like him, he’s just been a little too handsy. We walk into the kitchen, flicking on the light. Barney finds a bottle of wine on the side with a note attached to it. He reads it out loud,
“Shan, you and Barney have some catching up to do.” Fuck my life, my mother is at it again. I’ve no doubt in my mind my dad was told to shut up. He’s never really been a fan of Barney. He says he’s a little wet around the ears and a little slimy, he wouldn’t be wrong.
Barney pulls out two glasses and pours the wine, holding one out to me. “Cheers.” He smirks, clinking my glass with his own.
He sips his slowly, trying to make our time together last, but I knock mine back and set my glass down on the table.
“Well, I really need to get on with my packing, Barney,” I tell him, but a feeling of unease settles in the pit of my stomach.
Barney sees this as an opportunity to strike as he stalks closer to where I’m standing.
He raises his hand and tucks a strand of loose hair behind my ear.
“You’re exquisite, Shannon,” he whispers. Exquisite is food or a fine piece of art.
“Thanks,” I mutter under my breath. The sense of dread tells me he’s about to cross the line.
“Shannon,” he breathes, his minty onion breath touches my face and it makes my skin crawl, like a thousand ants crawling over my body. “Have you thought about me while I’ve been away?” He searches my face looking hopeful but I’m going to disappoint him because I haven’t thought about him once.
I take a steady step back. “Barney, it’s been a long time,” is all I say, but he takes my step away from him as an invitation to come closer.
“There’s been no one else since you, Shannon.”
Nine months? He’s not been with anyone else? When I’m put on the spot, I’ve no filter. “Bloody hell, how’d you manage that?” I want to shove the words back down. Unfortunately for me, he was also the last person I’ve slept with, and I’ve tried to change that, but it never worked out.
“How could I? You mean everything to me.” Whoa, hold your horses there, Gaston, this isn’t me greeting you with open arms and legs.
Time to bring out the big guns, Shannon. “Barney, I’ve moved on and you should too.” Take the hint. “I’m not…”
One moment I’m trying to explain, the next he’s slamming into me, his hardness jabbing into my hip, teeth clashing against my lips when I won’t open up for him.
I throw my hands up, shoving hard against his chest, he stumbles back.
“What the fuck?” I’m not surprised he hasn’t had a woman in nine months. “I think you should go,” I snap.
He raises his hands, surrendering, slowly backing away. “Shannon, I’m sorry. I read it all wrong.” He’s a fucking liar, he knew what he was doing. He’s been practically throwing himself at me all day, and not once did I give him the come-on.
Jesus, and now he thinks he can come back after nine months, wearing a pristine suit, polished shoes and hair slicked back he looks like a ken doll? He doesn't belong here in my parents’ kitchen. Not at all like the man I used to know, jeans hanging loose, oversized skater shirt, messy hair.
Barney isn’t the man I’ve been secretly fantasizing about.
He’s not Wesley.
“Let’s drop it, yeah?” I’m trying my best not to lose my head.
“I won’t cross the line again,” he promises.
“Can I be honest with you?” There’s a slight quiver in his voice, and it catches me off guard.
I’ll let him be honest, but then he really needs to leave.
Mum needs to stop trying to set me up with the weirdos.
“Okay.” I gesture to him to take the seat opposite me, and we both sit down.
“Shannon, I came back because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.
” I’m about to stop him. “Please, let me just say this,” he pleads.
Even if I don’t want to hear it, at least I can finally put this to bed and tell him there’s no way there will ever be an us.
“My intentions were to ask you to come back to America with me.”
Is he fucking crazy? “Barney, it ain’t ever going to happen.”
He waves a hand in front of us. “I know, I know.”
I sense a but coming.
“But…” There isn't a person on this planet who doesn’t dread the word but. “I… I don’t want to lose our friendship.” The way he said it made me think he was going to say something else.
Like I love you.
A chuckle slips out before I can stop it. Yes, I’ve been accused, more than once, of laughing at the most inappropriate times. Here he is baring his soul to me, and I laugh.
“Sorry, I think it’s just from the shock.” For God’s sake, shut up, Shannon. “No, I didn’t mean shock.” I glance up to the ceiling, silently begging for some help here. “I meant… I wasn’t expecting you to still have feelings for me.” The second I say the words, I grimace at my bluntness.
Barney blows out a breath, pushes his chair out and stands. The room feels thick and heavy, almost too uncomfortable.
“I, erm… I should go.” He heads to the door.
“Take care, Barney,” I call after him.
The door clicks shut behind him.
And I can finally breathe.
After my shower, I spend the rest of the evening ordering a new bed frame and a small two-seater sofa at half price, the ochre will add a little colour to the living room.
It’ll do for now, something to sit on while I figure out my finances. I could pay for everything now, but I really want a second job. And after the shock of Barney dropping his feelings bombshell on me with no warning—sleep finally takes over.