Penny #2
I’m nervous as I leave the bedroom. It’s probably going to be awkward between me and Jacob. Neither of us wanted to talk about that hot moment the other night but we’ll definitely have to address last night.
In the kitchen, he’s at the stove scooping a golden brown pancake out of a frying pan. He looks over his shoulder at me when I greet him with the shyest voice I ever heard come out of my mouth. I might as well twirl my hair around my finger too.
He smiles as he slides his gaze over me.
“You look nice.”
I look down at myself. “I’m only wearing a shirt.”
“You’re wearing my shirt, and what’s under it is even nicer.”
This man is too good at making me feel warm and tingly in my stomach. I smile and take a seat at the table. It’s my turn to sit and watch him move around the kitchen.
He finishes making the pancakes. We enjoy them with maple syrup, cups of coffee, and light conversation. I’m halfway through my second fluffy pancake and waiting for the courage to bring up last night when Jacob stuns me.
“I’m taking you home today.”
Some of my coffee spills down my chin as I’m taking a sip. I wipe it away with the back of my hand, my lips still parted in shock.
“You were angry last night I was trying to leave with Ruth. Why the sudden change of heart?”
He keeps his gaze lowered to his plate as he cuts into his pancake with the edge of his fork.
“It’s what you want and it’s the right thing to do.”
I lean back in my seat and fold my arms.
“Does this mean the deal’s off?”
“I’m still going to help you with the debt.”
“Elizabeth’s words came true. We finally had sex, now you’re giving me money and kicking me out.”
He lifts his head and frowns, releasing his fork with a noisy clatter on his plate.
“That’s not what’s happening. I’m not paying you for sex.”
The glow from his earlier compliments is gone, replaced by an unpleasant heaviness. I squeeze my folded arms tighter to my body and blink as my eyes start to sting.
“It feels like you are. You got what you wanted from me last night so there’s no point keeping me around anymore.” Exactly what I was afraid of. “To think last night was special for me.”
“I don’t disagree when people call me an asshole, but I would never be that callous.”
Jacob stands and brings his chair closer, his expression earnest as he takes my hand.
“I didn’t use you, Penny. Last night was special for me too.
It was the first time in a very long time I trusted someone like that.
” He slides his thumb in a gentle caress over the back of my hand.
“I’m taking you home because you’re worried about your aunt and cousin.
I want Cedric out of your life so you can finally have peace of mind. ”
He seems genuine and that makes me feel worse. Last night meant something to the both of us but it won’t matter soon. Once my debt to Cedric is paid, Jacob and I will go back to our separate lives, far away from each other.
Will we ever meet again?
I don’t want us to be over.
The words almost slip out but I hold them back. It would suck to be that vulnerably honest only for things to turn awkward if he doesn’t feel the same.
“OK,” I say, staring at his bigger hand holding mine. “Sorry I overreacted.”
“You didn’t. The timing made it look bad.” He squeezes my hand. “Finish your breakfast before it gets cold.”
He moves his chair back to its original spot and resumes eating. I struggle to finish my meal because I lost my appetite.
I shouldn’t be this upset. I was planning on leaving with Ruth after Jacob went to work. And during our fight in the car last night, I basically told him he was just like an evil loan shark for keeping me here.
I brought this on myself.
I should be happy I won’t be his prisoner anymore, that I’ll be released from Cedric too, and my family will be safe. This is all working out in my favour.
Last night put stupid hope and stupid ideas into my stupid head. I was touching my stomach and thinking about having his babies. God. It’s so fucking ridiculous in hindsight!
The truth I’ve always known showed up and gave me a hard, reminding slap: false hope leads to disappointment. Every damn time.
Just because Jacob admitted that last night was important to him doesn’t mean he’s ready or willing to pursue anything serious with me.
I’m the daughter of the woman who tried to send him to prison and I colluded with her too. It doesn’t matter that I tried to do the right thing in the end. I still ruined his life.
Then there’s his sister. Elizabeth’s opinion is important to him, and she was disgusted when she found out about us. She also thinks I’m a whore.
And after suffering a public scandal over the false rape accusation, he definitely won’t want to risk another scandal if the media discovers he’s fucking his ex-stepdaughter.
Too many obstacles.
Too hard to overcome.
I swallow my last pancake bite with a sip of coffee and lean back in my seat, trailing my finger along the collar. My collar. I’m keeping it.
“When are we leaving?”
“It’s going to be a long drive so the sooner the better.”
“What about your job?”
One corner of his mouth quirks up a little. There isn’t any humour in his expression.
“It’ll be there waiting for me tomorrow.”
But I won’t be here waiting for you.