Bodhi
Chapter Fourteen
Three Weeks Later
I never knew life could be so amazing. Olivia is honestly the light of my life, and I am unapologetically in love with her.
We both have fallen fast and hard, but strategically, I think.
We don’t push anything, but we acknowledge that this is built on trauma.
That's okay, though, because knowing helps when we need to talk through a disagreement.
Understanding that she has triggers with relationships, and I have an unhealthy view of what a relationship should be, this is a lot of learning and growing together.
Usually, I don’t bring Olivia with me when I bring food over to Dad. Mostly, it’s because he’s an asshole, but she asked me if she could come today. She spends all day at home, so I know she’s restless.
She does have a bachelor's in graphic design that she got early in her relationship with Jason, so she’s been working on refreshing herself in that.
I know she wants to make something of that, so I got her everything she needs.
She was reluctant to accept anything and was constantly saying she owed me, but seeing her happy is payment enough.
She struggles mostly at night when she sleeps, and her nightmares are intense, but I’ve figured out that if we keep it cold in the bedroom, she’s less likely to wake up with nightmares. We think it’s the fact that she overheats and that wakes her, rather than it being the dream itself.
Jason was found guilty on all charges and was sentenced to life in prison. Miguel is missing, but we know he will pop up eventually. Olivia literally imploded his world around him, and that one SD card has led to thirty arrests of his clients and colleagues—He won’t just let that go.
I texted Dad and told him that Olivia was coming with me, and I would hide all his beer if he were an idiot. He just replied with “Fine,” so I don’t think he will throw anything, but who knows what he will do.
I get back into the truck with the tray of food. Olivia is on her tablet, drawing something. “That smells good,” she says, glancing over. “What?”
“Are you sure you want to come with me?” I ask.
“Yes,” she says. “He doesn’t scare me. I’ll just beat him with his cane if he annoys me.”
“I’d pay money to see that,” I laugh. “Alright. Just don’t sit down anywhere. He has roaches, so leave your bag in the truck. I’ll lock it so a crack head doesn’t steal it.”
“Good to know,” she laughs.
We hold hands as we drive. Music plays through the speakers, and we have the windows halfway down. Life is good and calm right now. We all know that will change.
When we pull into the trailer park, Olivia sits up a bit to look around. When I park, she looks at me. “This is where you grew up?” she asks.
“Mhmm.”
“I bet it was nice to have people around to play with as a kid,” she says.
“It was,” I admit, watching her.
“What?”
“Mmm. Nothing. I guess I just expected something different,” I say. She raises an eyebrow at me. “Pity.”
“You forget I lived in this park before I went into foster care,” she says. “I don’t pity anyone but the helpless.”
“Ready?” I ask her, and she nods. We get out, and I grab the tray of food. As we walk up to the house, I make sure I am the first through the door.
“Hey, Dad,” I say. He looks up at me, then looks at Olivia.
“You got my food?” Dad grunts.
“Here,” I say, setting the food down on the table next to his chair.
“I thought you hated her?” Dad asks me.
“No, Dad,” I say. “Need anything else?”
“Not going to bug me about blood work again?” he asks.
“No,” I say. “All you do is throw a tantrum, so you can die in peace if you want.”
“Fine,” he says, opening his tray. “Good to see you, Olivia.”
“I can’t say the same, Mr. Jensen,” Olivia says sweetly. I am afraid he is going to snap, but he just chuckles.
“You still a bitch?” Dad asks.
“You still a rapist?” she counters. He looks at her, and he looks genuinely… sad.
“No,” Dad mutters and looks back at his food. He doesn’t touch it, and I’m confused. I look around, and the counters are empty. His table is empty. I walk over and look into the trash can, and it’s empty.
“Dad?” I ask.
“What, Bodhi?” he sighs.
“You out of beer?”
“Haven’t bought any. Are you my father now?” he snaps at me.
“It won’t last,” Olivia says. “Isn’t that right, Mr. Jensen?”
“Liv,” I warn.
“You’ll see, ya little shit,” he frowns at her. Dad is sober; I know that much, but why?
“Dad…”
“What?!” he yells at me.
“The last time I saw you sober was at Mom’s funeral,” I say. “What’s going on?”
“I had a little fall,” he says, pulling up the leg of his pants. His leg is black with bruises, and Olivia gasps. “Roy took me up there to that hospital a few days ago when you wouldn’t get over here.”
“Yeah?” I ask. “Who was your doctor?”
“Some chick with big tits and red hair. Veronica?” he suggests. “Well, she did one of them… scans. Not an X-ray. MRI, maybe. She wanted to make sure my head was okay because I passed out for a second.”
“Okay…” I say. “And?”
“And they said I have a brain tumor. It’s the size of an egg, and they can’t get it out,” he says.
“Fuck,” I say. I have wanted to kill this man so many times, but now knowing that he is dying hits differently.
“They said it’s probably been there a few decades,” he says. “Your mother… I was having migraines when she was pregnant with you. She talked me into one of those scans, and it was real small back then. I heard the word cancer, and I got scared. I just never went back.”
“And you started drinking,” Olivia says, and he nods.
“I was up at that hospital so long that it cleared my head up a bit. They told me it’s in a spot that changes your personality,” he says.
Olivia tears up at the realization. “Bodhi, I loved your momma more than life. I know you never saw that… I promised her I would get sober one day, so I am. I hate it, and all I want to do is drink. But I ain’t got much longer left.
I don’t wanna break my promise to her, so… Yeah.”
“How long?” I ask.
“Don’t worry about that,” he says, waving me off.
“Dad,” I say. “How long?”
“Maybe a few months,” he says. “I just wanna get my shit together, so maybe I can die with a little bit of dignity… If I had listened to Nora back then, she wouldn’t be dead today… I know you think I killed your mom, and I guess I did.”
“Dad…”
“I didn’t pull that trigger, Bodhi, but I gave her every reason to want to.
She was upset and told me to choose her or the booze, and I fucked up.
I chose that damn beer and she just… Look…
Y’all didn’t deserve that bullshit, and I don’t recognize the man who did it.
I don’t want your forgiveness because it’s not gonna bring her back.
So, son… If that woman tells you to go to the doctor, just fucking do it.
My stubbornness killed your momma, and Olivia doesn’t deserve that. ”
“Did they give you any treatment options?” I ask, wiping rogue tears from my face.
“Eh. They said they could try to do surgery, but I might die on the table. I guess that’s better than nothing,” he says. “I have to go to some fancy doctor for it in Dallas.”
“Better to die trying,” Olivia says. “Whatcha got to lose?”
“I guess you’re right,” he says. “I’ll be honest, though. I don’t know if I want to live long enough to remember all the things that I’ve done to hurt people. Shit, girl. I hurt you. But here you are, standing in my living room.”
“You didn’t rape me, Mr. Jensen,” she says. “That tumor did.”
“That’s bullshit, Olivia,” Dad snaps at her.
“It’s not,” she says. “Because from where I am standing, I finally understand where Bodhi got it from.”
“Got what?” I ask.
“Your kindness,” she tells me. “Mr. Jensen, I can’t imagine any of this is easy. And I know it’s like you’re fighting against demons that are constantly pissing you off. You don’t know what’s real and what’s not. The alcohol kept the worst of it away.”
“Yeah,” he says quietly. “They gave me some medicine to help me not be so angry. They said I couldn’t drink with it, so I had to stop.”
“I’ll make you a deal,” Olivia says. “You get that surgery and stay sober; you have my forgiveness.”
Dad looks at Olivia, and I can tell he’s lost in thought. “Alright,” he says.
“Yeah?” I ask.
“Yeah. I’ll get the damn surgery,” he sighs.
“What if…” Olivia starts to say to me.
“Hmm?”
“What if we move him into the cabin?” she asks. “He’s going to need a lot of help after the surgery. It’s cleaner and safer. He doesn’t have to worry about the crackheads yelling at all hours of the night. Less temptation. And it’s really fucking pretty out there.”
“I ain’t no charity case,” Dad barks.
“Good, because you’ll work for it,” I say, and he raises an eyebrow.
“You take care of yourself, stay sober, and you get what you need. Sobriety is a lot of fucking work, Dad. Putting effort into keeping yourself as healthy as you can is a lot of fucking work. You’ve spent how long neglecting yourself? ”
“You ain’t gonna let this go, are you?” Dad asks me.
“Honestly, Dad… If Olivia can see the good in you after what you did to her, I can, too,” I tell him. “I’m getting too old to be stuck in the past.”
“It’s all downhill from here, son,” he chuckles. “I’m gonna eat and catch a nap. You two go on somewhere else.”
“Alright, Dad,” I say. “Call me if you need anything.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he grunts.
Olivia and I walk outside and get into the truck. I stare at the house for a while, and she just watches me. “I’m sorry,” she says.
“For what?” I ask, turning to look at her.
“I’m sorry he’s sick,” she says. “It stole everything from him, and he didn’t even know…”
“I can’t imagine… The man in there is not the man I grew up with,” I tell her.
“No, but he’s on medication to help him. He’s going to get the surgery. If he lives, he gets a second chance,” she says.
“Let’s see if he makes it through surgery,” I mutter.