CHAPTER 30
Summer
New Year’s has come and gone, and even though the entire Hawthorne family spent the night trying to make me laugh, Cas in a ridiculous glitter hat, Jace setting off fireworks far too close to the barn, Grace shrieking every time one whistled overhead, I spent the final minutes of the year holding back tears.
Holding Mia. Holding every last prayer I had left.
At midnight, I wished, for the first time in a long time, that I could start this new year the same way I wanted to end it: here, in this town, in this family, with my daughter and the man I love. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to run ever again. But if Kevin wins…
Mia will go back to the same house that broke me piece by piece.
And I will burn before I let that happen to her.
I smooth down the braid I just finished, my fingers lingering in her soft, warm hair.
I take her in like I’m memorizing her, because a part of me is terrified this is the last morning I’ll get to braid her hair in this kitchen, with sunlight filtering through the window and the scent of coffee still clinging to the air.
“Mommy…” Her small voice wobbles, and those blue eyes I love more than air fill with tears. “What if they make me go live with Daddy? Can’t you come too?”
The words punch straight through my ribs. Hard. Because she isn’t wrong. She’s four, but she already understands what adults pretend not to see.
If the judge sides with Kevin…
I know exactly what I’ll have to do.
If Mia ends up with him, I’ll go too. I’ll lose Lander.
Lose the Hawthornes. Lose Ethan. I’ll have to put my old mask back on, cold, polished, untouchable.
The perfect Montgomery wife. I’ll survive for Mia.
I’ll smile when I’m breaking. I’ll count the years until she goes to college.
And then I’ll come back to this town and steal back whatever pieces of myself Kevin manages to take.
But I won’t get Ethan back.
I know that like I know my own name.
He’ll move on. He deserves someone who doesn’t come with scars that still bleed.
My heart aches at the thought of leaving him, an ache so deep it feels carved into bone. Ethan owns parts of me I didn’t even know existed. My heart, my soul, every soft place inside me…his. Even if I never see him again.
I pull Mia closer until our foreheads touch. Her breath is warm against my lips. “Mommy will never leave you,” I whisper, my voice thick and aching. “Wherever they take you, I’ll be right there. Always.”
Her eyes go wide. Hope flickers bright and fragile.
“Pwomise, Mommy?”
I give her the strongest smile I can manage and hold out my pinky. “I pinky swear.”
Her tiny finger curls around mine, warm and trusting.
And God help Kevin if he tries to break that.
◆◆◆
I don’t think I’ve ever been this cold.
Not physically, the courtroom is warm, vents humming above us, but inside my chest. The kind of cold that settles deep and refuses to thaw.
My fingers won’t unclench in my lap no matter how many times I try.
My attorney keeps whispering that I’m doing great, but all I can hear is the judge’s pen tapping against the folder in front of him.
Slow.
Measured.
Impossible to read.
Ethan sits directly behind me with the entire Hawthorne clan, his presence humming through me like a lifeline. He reaches forward, takes my hand, and squeezes once, firm, steady.
I look back at him, and his eyes tell me everything he can’t say out loud.
If this goes wrong, we leave. Don’t worry. I’ve got you.
But I could never do that to him. I love him too much to tear him away from his home, his job, his family. From the ranch that is in his blood.
He must see the truth in my eyes, because his expression shifts, fear, frustration, heartbreak all tangled together. He shakes his head, lips parting like he’s about to speak… and then the judge walks in.
Everyone stands.
“Case number 27-408. Custody petition regarding minor child, Mia Masters.”
My breath catches.
Her name.
Hearing it out loud here, under fluorescent lights and stone walls, feels like a punishment.
Judge Rowan Hale looks too young to be making decisions that can break a person’s life apart. Early thirties, maybe. Clean-shaven, sharp suit, posture so straight it looks carved. Not one flicker of emotion crosses his face as he scans the file with Mia’s name stamped across the top.
That should be comforting, neutrality, professionalism, but instead it sends bile creeping up my throat.
Across the aisle, Kevin sits like he’s posing for a campaign photo. Perfect suit. Perfect hair. Perfect smirk. He hasn’t looked at me once. He doesn’t need to. He already thinks he’s won.
And maybe he has.
Behind him, his parents sit stiff and self-righteous. My own parents beside them… my sister and her husband behind them. Not one pair of eyes glances my way. Not one acknowledges me at all. Like I’m a stranger. Like I’m a stain they’d rather pretend never happened.
My heart won’t stop pounding, not even when Judge Hale clears his throat and the hearing officially begins. The words wash over me in a blur, formal and distant, like they’re happening around me instead of to me.
My attorney rises first. He explains Mia’s well-being, the stability she’s found in Lander, the life we’ve built. He submits the messages, every single message, showing how many times I told Kevin where we were, that he could call, that he could visit, that Mia missed him.
Judge Hale’s eyes move to the stack of printouts.
He doesn’t react.
Not when he sees the weeks of read receipts with no replies.
Not when he sees the message where I begged him to call her on her birthday, and he never did.
Not when he sees the pictures I sent of Mia’s first day at her new school, her birthday, Thanksgiving.
He flips each page like he’s reviewing a tax return, not evidence of how desperately I tried to keep him in her life.
What if he doesn’t care?
What if all he sees is a mother who “ran away”?
What if all he sees is Kevin’s money, his influence, his lawyer-polished excuses?
My stomach twists so hard I press a hand against it.
Then Kevin’s attorney stands, voice dipped in honey but sharp enough to cut.
“She left the marital home without notice, Your Honor.”
“She deprived Mr. Masters of the opportunity to maintain a bond with his daughter.”
“She acted emotionally and impulsively.”
Each sentence lands like a slap. I hear Ethan growl behind me, quiet but feral. Cas grips his shoulder, holding him down. Dex’s leg bounces with pent-up rage. Jude’s glare could burn through steel. Jace meets my eye and winks, trying, always trying, to melt the tension with humor.
But Ethan…
Ethan looks ravenous. Protective. Ready to burn the world down for Mia and me.
If I tried to speak now, my voice would crumble to dust.
When the attorney calls their first witness, dread climbs my spine like icy fingers.
It’s Mia.
My baby walks in holding the bailiff’s hand, small and unsure in her soft blue sweater. Her dark curls are tied in the braid I fixed this morning. She scans the room until she finds me, and her lips wobble.
I smile even though my entire body is trying not to collapse.
The judge softens, just barely. The first crack in his stone facade.
“Good morning, Mia,” he says gently. “Would you like to sit up here with me?”
She nods and climbs into the witness chair beside him instead of behind the stand. He crouches so he’s not towering over her. Kind. Careful. Gentle in a way I didn’t expect.
“Do you know why you’re here today?” he asks softly.
Mia swings her feet. “Because… because they need to know where I’m gonna stay.”
My heart cracks clean down the center.
“Yes,” he says softly, “but we’re not here to make you scared. We just want to know how you’re feeling, okay?”
She nods again.
Kevin’s attorney steps closer, her tone syrupy sweet.
“Mia, do you remember living with your daddy?”
“A little,” she whispers.
“And did you like it there?”
She hesitates. Looks down.
“I liked my room.”
Of course she did.
I designed it to be a wonderland in our old cold home with her favorite colors, drawings and toys.
I swallow hard.
The attorney beams like she’s just scored a point.
“And would you like to spend more time with your daddy?”
My nails dig into my palms.
It’s too much for a six-year-old.
Too confusing.
Too unfair.
Mia shrugs. “Maybe… if Mommy is there.”
Kevin stiffens.
The attorney clears her throat. “But you’d like the chance to see him more, right?”
Mia frowns. “I think so…”
My eyes burn.
Then my attorney steps forward, his voice warm and steady.
“Mia, sweetheart, do you like living in Lander?”
She brightens instantly, like someone flipped on a light inside her. “Yes! I love it! Efan teaches me how to ride a horse, and Oma makes pancakes with bananas, and Opa lets me help him fix things in the barn…”
The judge raises a brow. “Oma and Opa?”
“That’s how you say Grandma and Grandpa in Oma’s language,” she explains proudly. “They’re Efan’s mommy and daddy.”
A tiny smile twitches at the judge’s lips, the first real one I’ve seen all day, softening the edges of his otherwise unreadable face.
“And who is Ethan?” the judge asks.
Mia turns in her seat and smiles at Ethan behind me. Her voice drops into that earnest, matter-of-fact tone little kids use when they’re telling the truth with their whole heart. “My superhero,” she says, nodding once. “He saved Mommy and me from the fire.”
A murmur ripples through the courtroom.
My throat tightens.
Heat gathers behind my eyes.
Something in me aches at how small her voice sounded… and how certain.
Mia feels safe.
She feels seen.
She feels home.
Still…
The judge is young. New. Hard to read. His expression folds back into neutrality so quickly it’s like the smile was never there at all.
Kevin has money. Lawyers. Influence.
And me?
I’m just a mother who ran because she had no other choice.
And right now, I’m terrified it won’t be enough.