Ethan
Darkness isn’t empty.
It’s heavy. Thick. Like swimming upward through tar with someone’s voice echoing from somewhere far above the surface. A voice I know. One that always reaches me, even when nothing else can.
“…please… please be okay…”
Summer.
I chase her voice through the fog. My body feels wrong, numb in places, burning in others. My arm throbs like a heartbeat that isn’t mine. Every inhale feels like I’m dragging air through cracked ribs.
Then…light.
Not bright. Not sharp. Soft. A dim hospital lamp glowing like a halo.
And then I feel it.
Weight. Warmth. Right over my stomach.
A head.
Her head.
My Venus.
Her hair spills everywhere, her shoulders shaking with quiet, exhausted sobs like she’s been fighting a battle alone.
I try to move, but only a small sound escapes my throat…a dry scrape, like rocks grinding in a riverbed.
A warmth floods my chest, cutting through the pain.
I find my voice, or what’s left of it.
“Baby…”
It comes out a hoarse whisper, broken, but enough.
Her entire body jolts.
Her head lifts, tears streaking down her cheeks, eyes huge and terrified and beautiful in that way pain makes something even more precious.
“E-Ethan?” Her voice breaks on my name. “Oh God, oh my God…”
She reaches for me like she doesn’t trust her own eyes, like touching me might prove I’m real.
I manage a faint smile. My lips are dry, but I force the word again.
“Baby…”
She covers her mouth with one shaking hand and lets out a sob that guts me, it’s raw, relieved, disbelieving.
Then her hands are on my face, gentle and frantic.
“You’re awake, Ethan, you’re awake!”
Her forehead drops to mine, and I feel her tears on my skin. And I swear I’ve never felt anything so real, so anchoring.
I try to lift my good hand, slow, clumsy, and brush my fingers through her hair.
“Shh,” I whisper, voice sandpaper. “I’m not going anywhere.”
She crumples against me, her arms sliding carefully around my waist above the wires and bandages.
“I thought I lost you,” she cries into my gown. “I thought…, he shot you, there was so much blood…I couldn’t, Ethan…”
Her words dissolve into sobs.
I close my eyes because the pain in my arm is nothing compared to the pain in her voice.
“I’m here,” I murmur, forcing my hand to keep moving through her hair. “Baby, look at me.”
She lifts her head, lashes wet, chest heaving.
“I’m here,” I repeat softly. “You didn’t lose me.”
Her face breaks open, relief, grief, love, so fierce it nearly knocks the air out of me.
“You jumped in front of me,” she whispers. “You took a bullet for me.”
I swallow hard, throat tight.
“I’d do it again,” I say. “Every time.”
Her breath catches, a soft, shattered sound. And in her eyes, God…it’s everything. All the fear. All the love she’s been holding back. All the things we haven’t said yet.
She lays her head carefully back on my stomach, arms wrapped around me like I’m something fragile she refuses to lose.
I let my fingers rest in her hair again, my chest easing for the first time since I hit the floor of that courtroom.
She’s safe. Mia’s safe. We made it.
“Summer…” I whisper, because I can’t stop saying her name.
She hums a broken, relieved sound against me.
“Baby,” I whisper one more time, softer than breath.
Summer is still curled gently against my stomach when the door creaks open.
I hear a soft shuffle. A tiny inhale. And then…
“… Efan?”
My heart stops.
Summer lifts her head, eyes widening, and turns toward the door.
Mia stands there in her little pink coat, Penny behind her. Her eyes are huge and shiny, her bottom lip wobbling as she clutches her stuffed rabbit to her chest like she’s protecting it from the world.
Penny whispers, “It’s okay, sweetheart. You can go.”
Mia takes one hesitant step… then another.
Then she breaks.
“EFAN!”
She runs, full speed, chaotic little footsteps straight to the bed.
Summer catches her halfway so she doesn’t jump onto my bandaged arm. But Mia wriggles free and crawls gently up beside me, her tiny hands shaking as she presses them to my chest.
“You got hurt,” she whispers, voice cracking. “You got hurt ’cause of me.”
Oh God. No. No no no…
“Mia.” My voice is rough, but firm. “Hey. Look at me.”
She lifts her chin, tears streaming down her cheeks.
I use my good hand to cup her cheek, my thumb brushing her tear away.
“Nothing that happened,” I say slowly, deliberately, “is your fault. Not one thing. Do you hear me? I’d do anything to keep you safe. Anything.”
Her face crumples.
“And Mommy?” she whispers. “She was scream…screamin’…”
I swallow hard. Summer’s fingers slide into mine, grounding me.
“We’re okay,” I say softly. “Mommy’s okay. I’m okay. And you…” I tap her nose gently. “You’re safe. That’s all that matters.”
She leans down and hugs me, careful, gentle, and I feel her tiny body shaking with quiet sobs against my ribs.
I close my eyes and hold her as tightly as I can with one arm, pressing my lips to the top of her head.
“I love you, Efan,” she whispers.
My throat burns. My eyes sting.
“I love you too, bug.”
Summer brushes Mia’s hair back, tears running silently down her face. Penny sniffles behind her.
Mia curls against my side like she’s trying to protect me.
She stays like that until the door opens again, this time louder.
“Where is he…?”
Jace’s voice hits first. Then boots. Many boots.
The entire Hawthorne clan floods the room like a damn stampede.
Mama is first.
“Oh thank God!” she cries, rushing to the bed and pressing her hand to my cheek. “You scared the life out of me, you hear? The absolute life.”
I manage a soft smile. “Hey, Mama.”
My father swallows several times before he takes my good hand in his. “Scared me, son. Don’t ever do that again.”
“Don’t worry, Dad. Like Mia said, I’m invincible,” I joke, but the room stays quiet.
Grace is crying openly, hugging Summer and kissing Mia on the forehead.
Jude grips the bed rail, jaw tight, eyes shiny. “Bro… don’t ever do that again.”
“I’ll try,” I murmur.
Dex walks in last with Cas and Jace, all three looking like they aged ten years in one afternoon.
Dex wipes his eyes and mutters, “If you died, I would have haunted the shit out of you.”
Cas snorts. “You don’t even believe in ghosts.”
“I’d make an exception.”
“Don’t worry, still here to be a pain in your ass.” I smile at them.
Jace leans over the bed and whispers, “You good?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
He nods back, eyes red. “Good.”
Slowly the room fills with voices, laughter, jokes…
It’s loud. Messy. Emotional. But God… it feels like home.
The noise dims when someone in a cast limps through the doorway.
Asher.
His face is pale, expression tight, like he barely made it down the hallway.
“Hey,” he whispers.
Everyone moves aside instinctively.
Asher makes his way to my bed, gripping the edge like he’s trying not to fall apart. “You stupid, stupid son of a bitch,” he mutters, voice cracking.
I smile faintly. “Missed you too, man.”
He swallows hard. “You scared the hell out of me.”
“Yeah. I got that feedback from the room.”
His eyes drop to my bandaged arm, and I see it, the fear, the relief, all mixing together.
“You’re my brother from another mother,” he says, voice low. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”
I nod once. “Deal.”
He pulls me gently into a half-hug and whispers, “Thank God you made it.”
My crew from the station pack into the doorway.
“Cap,” Calvin whispers. “You’re one tough bastard.”
Another pipes up, voice thick, “We thought we’d have to beat Death’s ass to get you back.”
Laughter breaks, shaky, relieved.
I blink against the sting in my eyes.
My family. My crew. My town.
The room is overflowing with love and fear and relief so strong it feels like it might crack something inside me.
And through it all, my eyes find her.
Summer.
Standing beside my bed, Mia on her hip, watching me like she’s memorizing the rise and fall of my chest.
And I know…
I know it down to my bones…
I’d take that bullet a thousand times
if it means getting back
to this.