EDITH, AKA THROWING UP BEAVER BARRIERS
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After I dress in the lingerie, I call Tuesday for a pep talk. She does her best to pump me up, demanding I throw off the shackles of my virginity and ravish Duke’s fine body.
“The great thing about older lovers is how they aren’t capable of escaping our younger lady demands. You pounce on him and threaten to hide his heart pills until he eats out your pussy and makes you see God.”
“Screw that garbage, I don’t want my fricking vagina in his mouth,” I mumble, recoiling at the thought. “Make your pep talk less nasty.”
“Doesn’t Duke make you horny and insane? Isn’t that why you’re sneaking around instead of taking things slowly?”
“Of course, he’s sexy,” I say and sigh as memories of Duke flood my mind. “He’s so sweet. I know he cares about me. I want to be close to him. I like the idea of our bodies touching. We make out a lot. I always feel safe with him.”
“So, what’s the hold-up, nerd?”
“I’m afraid of insertion.”
“Oh, baby, that part is fun.”
Grunting, I mutter, “Yeah, when you’re all sloppy stretched out like you, whore.”
“My first time didn’t hurt, and it happened with a drunk guy up against Mickey D’s.”
“None of that is true.”
“Okay, it hurt a little, but you can learn from my experience, ya bitch-slut-cunt-rat-faced-fuck-twat-whore. My first time was fun. Especially because I actively participated by rubbing my clit. Don’t let your lover’s laziness distract from the goal of having mind-blowing sex.”
“Wait, what? I’ll need to deal with a dick inside me while I’m rubbing my own clit? Is that what I’m supposed to do with my hands? Should I make eye contact while we’re thrusting? Sex feels too complicated.”
“Your big brain is getting in the way of you having fun. Just wear that pink negligee in front of Duke and let him do all the work.”
“I’m scared,” I whisper like I’m in a horror movie, and outside the bathroom door lurks a monster rather than a dreamy man. “What if I fart or do something dumb?”
“Duke is your dream guy,” Tuesday says, calming my crazy with talk of magic. “He has experience. So, let him run the show while you look gorgeous and feel good.”
“I’m still scared of making weird noises.”
“He’s bound to make weird noises, too. And he’ll likely have a silly face when he comes. Duke is allowed to be human, so why can’t you be one, too?”
Tuesday’s words quiet the top layer of noise in my mind. Duke is wildly sexy, but he isn’t an unknown entity. He wants me to see the real him.
And he’s outside this bathroom, waiting to spend time with me. Why am I hiding?
“I’m still scared.”
“You’re scared a lot lately,” Tuesday replies. “I think I know why.”
“Share your wisdom then.”
“You’re fighting your Earlham side. The part of you that runs around and shoots water pistols and wrestles with me in the grass. That part of you is real, and it’s powerful. You think you can be sensible and never make mistakes, but you’re as much of an Earlham as me, bitch.”
“What does my Earlham side want?”
“Our bloodline is wild and horny. But you insist on fighting that feeling.”
“Being sensible is who I am.”
“True, but you’re still an Earlham. Don’t fight it. Do you think you’re better than Queen Meemaw Christine? She left town, went to school, and married my dull bio peepaw. She tried so hard to fight her Earlham side. Then, her best efforts failed when she got to arguing with King Peepaw Jared. The magic was too powerful. Her horny, crazy Earlham bloodline destroyed even her most classy efforts, leaving her riding his dick in front of everyone in the Kroger parking lot.”
“They only made out.”
“That’s not how I choose to remember their explosive reunion hump.”
“How are you remembering anything if you weren’t even conceived yet?”
When Tuesday sighs loudly, I can imagine her rolling her eyes dramatically. “This is your problem, ya arctic pussy. You can’t simply roll with shit. You fight my beautiful reminiscing in the same way you fight your Earlham side.”
“What’s the alternative? How do I not fight it?”
“Go show off the negligee to Duke. He’s going to go wild for you. Men give off crazy heat when they’re aroused. Embrace what he offers. Don’t think about your body. Focus on his. Let him make you crazy hot. Then, you won’t care about your damn hand placement or making eye contact.”
Closing my eyes, I see Duke and me in my SUV. His hands have explored my body as much as possible while I’m dressed. I love the feel of his touch. His hot breath on my skin makes me crazy.
My newfound confidence falters a little once I’m standing in front of Duke. I’m nearly naked while he’s fully dressed. The room feels too bright and a little chilly. I should have turned on the heater before I changed.
My brain tells me to slow things down. I can’t control this situation. I’m vulnerable while Duke remains powerful.
His hot lips do feel good on mine. His gentle fingers tease my bare shoulders. He hasn’t pushed me. I’m nearly naked in front of him, and he’s behaving like a real gentleman.
My heart soars at how I’ve fallen for such a classy man. I’ve always hoped for that quality in my dream guy. But I also wanted him to be a tough guy like the men I grew up around. With Duke, I have both. So why am I still panicky?
“I’m too undressed,” I say and step back. “And you’re not undressed at all.”
“I took my shoes off,” Duke says with complete sincerity before giving me a smirk. “You could also go get dressed.”
Pouting now, I mumble, “Don’t you like this on me?”
“I sense whatever answer I give will upset you.”
When I stare at him with my lips stuck in a pout, Duke leans forward and kisses my forehead.
“You seem cold. I’ll turn up the heater.”
His sweetness makes me swoon. His ass flexing as he walks away makes me feel something a little raunchier.
“If you took off your shirt, I think we’d be more even.”
Duke offers me a gentle smile and asks, “What are we doing here, Edith? I feel like you’re forcing yourself to perform for me.”
“I want you to touch me,” I say in an overly whiny voice before stopping myself. Sighing, I continue, “I want to be together, but I’m scared.”
“We should wait.”
“No way. Instead, let’s ease our way in the direction of penetration, okay?” I say, sounding bonkers. “You take off your shirt. We can kiss and see if your pants and my tiny panties come off. I suspect if we were making out like we do in my car, I would already have you inside me.”
Duke grimaces. “My dick hurts when you talk like that.”
Smiling, I step closer and sway my hips. “Don’t be shy, Duke. Slide your T-shirt over your head, so we’ll be more even.”
Duke exhales softly and tugs his shirt over his head. I feel lightheaded at the sight of his tanned muscled chest. His tattoos call out to me to be explored. The dark hair across his pecs begs to be caressed.
My gaze struggles to leave his bare flesh. After great effort, I look him in the eyes. Duke appears amused by my slacked-jaw response.
“Can I be in charge?” I ask and inch backward.
Duke wears a little smile while offering a nod. His gaze washes over my nearly naked body, leaving me swaying with lust.
“I want sex,” I say and hold onto the wall to keep from toppling over as my brain embraces supernova-horny mode. “But I don’t know what to do, and I’m scared. You have to be in charge.”
“I thought you were in charge.”
“I’m like the business owner telling the supervisor what I want done. You have to be the one to do the hard work.”
Duke chuckles and moves closer. His every step toward me sends my heart racing faster. I reach out and slide my hands across his chest as soon as he’s within reach.
“I don’t want to wait,” I say, staring into his eyes. “I crave you, but I’m struggling to relax. Will you help me?”
Duke studies me for what feels like forever. When he asked me earlier if I trusted him, I struggled with my answer. Though I felt guilty for not knowing then, I sense he doesn’t trust me now.
Duke rests his hands on my shoulders again. I feel him doubting where this is headed. Taking charge, I move his hands under the camisole and set them on my hips. His fingers slide across my bare skin, testing my resolve.
I sink my fingers into his chest hair while taking a big step closer. My body now presses against his.
“I love you,” I say and move my hands up his chest to his throat and then jaw. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous. But you have to give me this. I’m telling you what I want, just like I did when I wanted to make out in the back seat. You trusted me that night, and I need you to do the same thing now.”
Duke frowns slightly. My nervous energy is throwing him off. I don’t know how to make him trust me.
Taking charge again, I slide my right knee between his legs. Reaching up on my tiptoes, I suck at his throat. Duke tenses when my thigh presses against his crotch.
“I love you,” he says and slips his hands up my back. “I don’t want to be why you have regrets.”
“You’re the guy I’ve been searching for, Duke,” I whisper and brush my thumb across his lips. “I’m not at my best right now. I’m all goofy inside. I keep getting in my own way. I need your help.”
Duke relaxes immediately. His hands stop dancing feathery-soft against my skin and slide possessively up my back. Kissing me, Duke no longer holds back or feeds off my anxiety. The crazy in me instantly submits to his commanding touch, and we finally get this romp in the sack going.