Chapter 23 #2
I thought I had my walls up around her, built the second something in me said her the moment I saw her. Walls so high no army could breach them.
But she walked right through and claimed her place in my heart. No weapons. No force.
Somewhere between holding her sick body in my arms and the snowstorm, she melted into my soul like sun rays melting snow, mixing her essence with mine until I didn’t know where I ended and she began.
I don’t want a life that doesn’t have her in it.
The crowd goes wild, clapping and cheering her on as she blushes and walks off the stage.
I follow her through the crowd, my focus locked on her as she makes her way behind the bar and starts serving drinks again.
“She’s really good!” Grace says.
I glance at her and nod.
“She’s mesmerizing,” I say, a small smile pulling at my mouth.
“I can’t believe someone finally snatched that big heart of yours.” She pulls me into a quick hug before stepping back. “But if anyone ever could… I’m glad it’s her.”
“We’re not together, Grace,” I say. “Not yet, anyway.”
Grace looks over at Lexy.
I follow her gaze and catch Lexy staring at me. She blushes instantly and looks down.
“Oh, I have a feeling she’s smitten with you,” Grace says. “Did you not hear the lyrics to that song? I’m as straight as they come, but I fell for her all the same.”
She winks.
“This is good, Dex. You deserve the best.”
I shake my head slightly.
“I don’t know about that,” I admit. “But I do know I don’t want to spend one more second not being able to kiss her.”
“Oh my God, that’s so sweet!”
I look down at her. “Don’t call me sweet.”
She laughs.
“I can’t wait to see you two together,” she teases, smirking before heading back to the dance floor to join Summer, Cassie, and Penny as they cheer Jace on.
He’s halfway through some over-the-top rendition of Old Town Road , already pulling his shirt off like he’s putting on a damn show.
I shake my head.
The eternal flirt.
? ? ?
Alexis
Dex’s eyes haven’t left me all evening. It’s midnight, and the bar is emptying out since most people have work tomorrow. Penny and Summer are still on stage, belting out a Miranda Lambert song while their husbands watch them with proud smiles.
The way these men love their women… yeah, I never believed in love like that, but they changed my mind.
The door to the bar opens, but I don’t look up. I just spilled ice all over the floor, so I’m busy cleaning it up when a voice I know all too well makes my blood run cold.
“I’m looking for Alexis.”
Oh no…
“You mean Lexy?” I hear Dex say.
I freeze, then slowly straighten and turn.
“Mama?” My voice wavers as everything hits at once, anger, fear, hurt.
My mother looks worse than the last time I saw her. Her clothes hang off her body, dark circles hollow out her eyes, her blonde hair is tangled and dull, and her blue eyes are empty. She scratches at her arm, and this time I notice the bruises.
I swallow hard.
Behind me, Dex steps closer, and the other Hawthornes move in too, like they’re forming a wall to protect me from my own mother, and shame burns through me so fast I can barely breathe.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“I miss my daughter. Can’t a mother visit her daughter?” She glances around like she expects someone to agree.
“Let’s talk outside.”
I walk around the bar and reach for her hand, but she jerks away.
“Why don’t you offer me a drink?”
Her eyes drag over me, taking in my clothes, the bar, everything, and I know that look because I’ve seen it too many times, the way she calculates what she can get from me before she even asks.
“All I can offer you is water,” I say.
“Oh, come on, you little brat. Don’t be like that. One glass of whiskey is all I want.”
I look her over. “How many did you have today?”
She laughs. “A child shouldn’t question her mother.”
I shake my head, my throat tight. “No. In a normal world, she shouldn’t.”
I blink hard, fighting the tears, because every time I see her like this, it feels like I lose her all over again, the woman she used to be before alcohol and pills took her away.
“We only serve water, ma’am,” Dex says behind me.
“Who’s he?”
My mother steps toward him, looking him over like she’s sizing him up. I try to apologize with my eyes, but Dex just gives me a small nod.
Trust me.
Oh God…
“You sleeping with him?” she asks, turning back to me. “He’s the guy you came with to pick me up.”
I want the ground to swallow me whole.
“Mama, he’s my boss. Please show some respect.”
I reach for her again, but she steps back.
“I said I want a drink.”
She starts digging through her pockets, empty pill packets spilling onto the floor in front of everyone.
“I can pay for it if my own daughter is too cheap to pay for her own mother.”
The words hit harder than anything physical.
“Mama, let’s go outside. Tell me what you need, and I’ll see if I can help.”
Her head snaps up, interest lighting her eyes, sharp and real this time, but then her gaze drifts to the bottles behind the bar.
“How about you serve me some whiskey neat, and then we’ll talk?”
“Bar’s closed.” Dex steps up beside me.
My mother looks him over again. “Did she tell you she abandoned me?”
Oh God…
“Mama, please don’t…”
“She left me all alone and never even called to see if I was okay. Then one day someone tells me she saw my daughter sing on a stage in some bar…” She looks at me.
“Imagine my shock when she showed me the video and right behind my daughter I read the sign. ‘Midnight Rodeo Bar.’” She brings her face close to mine, her stale breath making me stop breathing.
“Singing all happy and well while her own mother doesn’t have money for food. ”
I snap.
“I called you every day for two months, but you never picked up!”
I step closer, my voice shaking.
“Let’s cut the crap. How much do you need?”
I don’t want her doing this here, not in front of them, not in front of him.
She studies me. “How much do you make?” she asks.
Heart. Break.
Even now. Even after everything.
She’s not here for me .
I dig into my apron. “I can give you my tips.”
The slap comes out of nowhere, and my cheek burns instantly.
“I don’t want your tips, you brat. I want ten thousand dollars, or I’ll tell your father where you’re hiding.”
Everything inside me goes still.
“He’s not my father,” I say quietly.
“That’s it. You’re out.” Dex nods toward Mike, the bouncer.
He steps forward, but my mother spins toward him.
“Don’t you touch me. Do you even know who I am? I am Russel Mark’s wife. You’ll pay for this.”
Everything crashes down around me as Dex stills, then slowly turns to look at me, and the moment he recognizes the name, something shifts in his eyes.
Mike pulls my mother outside, but I barely register it.
“Dex, I…”
He just stares at me, and the hurt in his eyes hits harder than anything else. Nausea crawls up as I feel my own heart break at the empty stare he fixes on me.
I rush toward him and grab his arm. “I wanted to tell you, I…”
“Please let go of me.”
His voice is quiet and cold, and I freeze before letting go.
He steps back.
“I tried to tell you so many times, but every time something interrupted me.”
Silence stretches between us, heavy and sharp.
“When?” he asks.
“What?”
“When were you going to tell me?”
I glance around and see everyone pretending not to watch, failing.
“Can we please talk about this in private?” My voice cracks. “Please.”
He nods once, then turns and walks into his office.
I follow him and close the door behind me.
“Talk,” he says.
So I do.
I tell him everything, about my mother, about Russel, about the money, about running and ending up here.
“The bruises on your neck when you first came here?” he asks, staring at his desk.
“Russel.”
“What happened?”
Nausea rises, but he deserves the truth.
“When I was fourteen, I was sleeping with Mason in our trailer when Russel and some of his men came into my room…”
Dex’s head snaps up, his eyes burning.
“They grabbed me, held me down… he got on top and…”
I shake my head.
“Mason hit him with a bat. Russel came running in and hit me, hard, and told me I could never deny one of his brothers again.”
Tears fall freely now.
“Then when I was sixteen, I had a fever and no strength, and he came into my room again. He took my blanket and held my hands down…”
My voice breaks.
“Please don’t make me relive that.”
Dex is in front of me in an instant, his hands on my face, forcing me to look at him.
“Did he rape you?”
“No,” I whisper. “But he…”
I can’t say it.
“Mason stopped him again. We dragged him out.”
I take a shaky breath.
“After that, we slept outside whenever he was home, winter or summer, it didn’t matter.”
I look up.
Dex looks like he’s about to kill someone.
“Until you ran?” he asks.
I nod.
He turns away and walks to the window.
“When were you planning on telling me?”
I close my eyes.
“That first day. When I saw your tattoo, I knew who you were, what Russel would be to you.”
I swallow.
“I was scared you’d kick me out or use me as leverage for your MC. I’ve seen what MCs can do.”
I shake my head quickly.
“I didn’t know you back then. I didn’t know you were… you .”
He turns.
“You thought I was like him?”
I nod. “Only in the beginning. But I was wrong.”
“He hurt you?”
“Yes.”
The hurt in his eyes turns to anger.
He grabs his jacket and his keys.
“Where are you going?”
“Out.”
“Dex, please, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He stops at the doorway for a second, and I think he might turn around, but he doesn’t.
“I need to think. Tell Stephen to close up.”
Then he’s gone, the door shutting behind him as everything inside me gives out at once, and I collapse to the floor, barely registering the hands on my shoulders or the voices around me until I look up and find Penny, Cas, Summer, and Ethan there, and the embarrassment hits so hard it steals what little breath I have left.
“I’m so sorry,” I choke out.
Penny pulls me into a hug.
“You were running from someone?”
“I w was.”
“I never wanted to pull Dex into this, I swear…”
“Hey,” Penny says softly as she cups my face. “You were scared. You didn’t know who to trust. I get that. I’ve been there.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Ethan pulls me into a hug.
“He’ll come back. You’ll figure it out.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I need to leave.”
They all go still.
“Russel Marks, my stepfather, he’s the president of the Black Nemesis MC.”
“Michael’s Legion’s biggest enemies,” Cas finishes.
I nod.
“I need to go. If they find me here, they’ll kill Dex.”
Cas’s expression hardens. “Your mother going to tell?”
“Yes.”
The word hurts.
“Come stay with us tonight,” Cas says. “We’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t want to put you in danger.”
“We can handle it,” Summer says.
I hesitate, then nod.
“All right, but I can’t promise I won’t run.”
“That’s fair.”
Penny sends me the address.
I head upstairs, but the second I step into the apartment everything inside me starts to crack, my gaze drifting over the space that had begun to feel like home, over him still lingering in every corner, and I hate how much it hurts, how I promised myself I’d never fall for a man like him, never put myself in this position, and yet here I am breaking that promise without even knowing when it happened.
Marvel watches me as I pack, his eyes following every move like he already knows I’m about to leave.
“I don’t think you can come with me, buddy,” I whisper, my voice breaking. “It’s not safe with me.”
I sink to the floor, holding him close as tears fall into his fur.
I hate Russel for this.
For everything.
For taking him from me.
For taking Dex from me.
The only man I’ve ever loved.