Chapter Twenty-Five
Dead leaves fluttered on the wind like moths. Maxi vacantly stared through the carriage window as Croyso Castle loomed nearer.
A cold northeastern gust buffeted the hill, doing justice to Etherias’s reputation as the season of wind.
Migrating birds formed a surging black river through the pale blue sky, while ripe wheat fields rustled like a sea of gold.
The magnificent prison Maxi had been confined in for so long rose from the chilly autumnal scenery, flaunting its opulent beauty.
Maxi vividly remembered the day she had left this place. It had felt like a lifetime ago that Riftan had whisked her away in that bewildering carriage ride. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that she would voluntarily return.
A strange feeling of despair came over her, and she leaned her head against the coach wall. Her father, who had been sitting in silence across from her, scowled and rapped his cane on the floor. Maxi flinched and quickly sat upright.
Traveling in a carriage with her father was like torture.
Her nerves were tightly wound into knots throughout the whole trip, and her mouth was clamped shut like a clam as she tried her best not to provoke him.
She thanked her lucky stars that at least Sir Elliot was traveling with them.
The Remdragon Knights had been adamant that they could not ignore Riftan’s command and that at least one of them must accompany her.
It was decided that Elliot would be her escort to Croyso Castle.
With the knight riding alongside the carriage, the duke had not been able to vent his anger. He could only clutch his cane and lash her with contemptuous looks.
“You must stay as silent as a mouse,” the duke said, repeating the same warning he had given her countless times throughout their journey.
“Rosetta will be married next spring. You are to remain quietly in the castle until then. I will use your convalescence as an excuse to refuse visitors. Though I’ve told Calypse that he may come for you, I have no intention of letting him see you.
He will no doubt come to seek a divorce.
We must avoid the issue altogether until next spring.
” He glared at her with his pale gray eyes.
“The church deems miscarriage as acceptable grounds for divorce. It goes without saying that King Reuben will be overjoyed at the news. I will not have a wench like you ruin a decade’s worth of planning. ”
Maxi hung her head in shame. Her father’s dearest ambition was for a successor of outstanding pedigree through Rosetta. It had long become an obsession, one that nothing in the world could ever make him surrender.
The duke irritably continued expounding on his plans.
“Rosetta must bear at least two sons. A healthy male to inherit the throne, and another perfect son whom I shall adopt as my heir.” He narrowed his eyes at Maxi.
“Unlike you, I will make sure that Rosetta is regarded as the embodiment of perfection and health.”
Knowing that he was not expecting a response, Maxi merely clasped her hands and desperately prayed for an ogre to leap out and topple their carriage. As always, however, her hopes went unanswered.
The carriage safely entered the lavish gardens of Croyso Castle. As hundreds of servants scurried down for their master’s earlier-than-expected arrival, Maxi stood in front of the carriage with her skirt bunched in her fists.
Elliot dismounted and walked over. “Are you all right, my lady? You don’t look well.”
The duke answered before Maxi could reply. “She is tired from the long journey. I am sure that she will be able to recuperate more quickly now that she is home.”
The duke coiled an arm around her shoulders and forced her to turn around.
He glowered over his shoulder at Elliot as he steered Maxi away.
“Are you satisfied now that my daughter has arrived safely home? You have accomplished your task, so I must request that you leave by tomorrow. You are welcome to stay the night.”
Elliot’s expression turned grim at the duke’s blatant dismissal. Maxi helplessly looked back at the knight until her father forced her up the staircase.
As soon as they entered the great hall, the duke flung her away from him, nearly causing her to stumble to her knees. He strode across the palatial hall and shouted at the head steward to take Maxi to her room at once.
Maxi hung her head to evade the looks of the surprised servants. The head steward was a man who had served the duke all his life. He obeyed without asking questions, motioning with his head for Maxi to follow him.
“This way, my lady.”
Maxi was trailing him like a ghost when a sparkle above them caught her eye. She looked up and immediately froze in her tracks.
It was Rosetta. Bathed in sunlight, her half-sister gazed down from the second-floor railing.
Maxi inhaled a sharp breath. It had only been a little over a year since they had last seen each other, but Rosetta had grown even more beautiful.
Her light brown hair glistened in the light, while her perfect proportions now exuded an alluring charm.
Maxi bit her lip. Her younger sister’s perfection tore at her heart more than ever before. A feeling of misery expanded within the pit of her chest as she put her head down and hurried after the steward. They soon reached a quiet room at the end of the annex.
“Please rest now, my lady,” the steward said. “I will call Joana for you.”
Finally alone, Maxi glanced around her former chambers. The room lay in the main castle’s shadow throughout the day, ensuring that it remained in perpetual darkness. A layer of white dust covered everything.
She trudged over to the window and gazed down at the garden until she felt listless, then slumped down on the bed. Not long after, her nursemaid entered the room.
“My lady…”
Joana was a voluptuous woman in her fifties. Maxi noted that the nursemaid had many more white hairs than she remembered. After a long stretch of silence, Joana walked over to Maxi and clasped her shoulders with her plump hands.
“Oh, my poor lady,” she sighed. “Lady Arian passed away after countless miscarriages…and now you’ve met with the same fate. Why must God be so cruel?”
Her lament sent a sting across Maxi’s deadened nerves. Her face contorting, Maxi pushed Joana’s hands away. Her nursemaid’s sorrowful gaze was more difficult to bear than the impassive faces of the other servants.
“I-I…” Maxi turned away, pressing her palms against her burning eyes. “I…am tired. I wish to rest.”
“I understand. I will bring you a bath and some food.” Dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief, Joana left the room.
Maxi grabbed the jar on the bedside table and heaved up the porridge she had forced down her throat that morning.
As she gagged and vomited rancid bile, the emotions she had bottled somewhere deep inside came rushing out in a devastating tidal wave.
Remorse and shame raged in the pit of her stomach, and grief threatened to crush her heart.
Guilt hacked at her like an ax as she recalled how recklessly she had taxed her body, not knowing that a child had been growing within her.
Lowering the jar to the floor, Maxi trembled uncontrollably as her mind spiraled into darkness.
Riftan was like any feudal lord. He would undoubtedly want an heir who would one day inherit his castle, land, and fortune.
There was no guarantee that Maxi would ever conceive again.
In fact, it was possible that the miscarriage had been caused not by overexertion but rather by her inherent inability to carry a child.
Maxi clutched her shaking shoulders as she remembered the Croyso women who had wasted away until their deaths.
Would she be able to bear it if Riftan were to grow more and more distant toward her?
Her throat throbbed painfully, and she stroked it with trembling hands as she imagined how Riftan would treat her.
It filled her with fear and despair. She was much too ashamed to face him now.
Raising her head, she looked at herself in the mirror propped against the wall.
Her spine froze at the sight of her own pale, gaunt face.
It was her mother’s face, vaguely imprinted in her memory and resurrected in a reflection.
Forlorn eyes gazed back at the cursed daughter who would now suffer the same fate.
Maxi squeezed her eyes shut and laid her reeling head on the pillow.
She did not want to think about anything.
It might be better for her to live confined in this tiny, desolate world, feigning numbness against the hardship as she had always done.
At least then she would not have to worry about losing another’s affections, nor would she have to bend over backward to become something she was not.
Maxi buried her face in the sheets. Instead of watching the happiness she had only just managed to grasp dissolve before her eyes, it would be easier to pretend that it had never existed in the first place. Having nothing meant that she would be free from the pain of loss.
—
Life seemed to snap back to how it had been before Riftan. The feeling of powerlessness, deeply embedded in her bones, swallowed her up the first chance it got.
Her ego quickly shrank back to its original size within the confines of her gloomy chambers. Having no one to talk to except for her nursemaid, her impediment grew worse.
Though Maxi was aware that everything she had worked so hard to build was rapidly crumbling down, she no longer had the strength to pick up the pieces. She could not stop the dread, terror, despair, and resignation from boiling over in her heart.
Maxi sat by the window and watched the bare branches sway in the wind. It felt as if she had returned to that day a year ago, trembling at the thought of divorce. No, this fear was more intense.