Chapter Twenty-Six #4
Maxi peered out the window. Even though Riftan had rescinded his declaration of war, there would still be countless matters that required his attention. Maxi returned to her room and anxiously waited for him to return.
As she paced about, she could not stop thinking about what Rosetta had said to her.
It was possible that her sister had meant those words for herself.
Had she also felt the despair of not being able to trust anyone, no matter how much she wanted to?
The thought made Maxi anxious. Could she truly change when someone as beautiful and clever as Rosetta had failed?
Maxi walked over to the mirror and gazed into her own gray eyes. Even she had to admit, she did not hold much hope for the anxious woman standing before her. She absentmindedly touched her cheek before going to lie on her bed, exhausted.
The room was dark when she sluggishly opened her eyes again. She must have fallen asleep. Rubbing her face, Maxi glanced at the empty spot next to her. There was no sign that Riftan had come back.
Maxi frowned. Had he ever left her alone this long since they had been back at Calypse Castle? Gnawing her lip, she got out of bed and wrapped a shawl around her shoulders. Servants were lighting the sconces in the corridor just outside.
She ran over to them. “H-His lordship is not back yet…. Is he still at the training grounds?”
One of the servants respectfully bowed his head and said, “His lordship is currently in the council room, my lady. He informed us that he would be retiring in the adjacent chambers tonight as he was busy. I have just come back from stocking the room with firewood.”
Maxi glanced around uneasily. Even when they had been busy preparing for battle, Riftan had always returned to their bedchamber at night. Had calling off this war been that difficult?
The servants nervously studied her face.
Maxi offered them a weak smile and turned around.
She did not want to return to her room, where she would have to stay up all night alone.
After a moment’s hesitation, she made her way up the dark staircase.
Two floors above, she saw light streaming from the room at the end of the corridor.
She hovered near the door for a while before tentatively pushing it open. Inside, she found Riftan sitting on a bed sipping a goblet of wine.
“Why are you still up?” he demanded, his gaze fierce.
Slightly intimidated by his surliness, Maxi mumbled, “I-I was waiting for you….”
Riftan took a gulp from the goblet in silence.
Maxi slowly closed the door behind her and walked over. “A-Are you…quite busy?”
“I had to send messengers across the kingdom to explain the change of circumstances to the mercenaries we hired. Quite the exhausting endeavor.”
He filled his goblet again and continued, “We can’t let our guard down just yet, so I’ve decided to maintain our military organization.
You’ll see mercenaries entering and leaving the castle for a while.
I’ll make it so that they avoid the great hall as much as possible, but you might end up encountering some.
They’re crude company, so try not to interact with them.
And I don’t want you roaming about the castle on your own like this. ”
“I-I’ll be careful,” Maxi replied meekly.
She stepped closer to him until their knees were almost touching. Riftan visibly tensed, his large frame frozen on the edge of the bed where he sat. He clutched his goblet so tightly that Maxi was worried he might crush it.
“You should sleep alone tonight,” he mumbled. “I still have things I must attend to.”
Maxi glanced around the room, but there was not a parchment in sight. She fidgeted with her skirt and asked in a deliberately sarcastic tone, “A-And by things you must attend to…do you mean drinking?”
“I’m asking you to leave me alone.”
Riftan slammed his goblet down on the bedside table, making Maxi flinch. Wine sloshed over the rim. After staring at the stain spreading across the carpet, Riftan rubbed his forehead and swore.
“I don’t want to demean myself further in your eyes. Please, just leave me be.”
Maxi stood frozen for a moment before slowly leaning over. Riftan opened his mouth as if to snap at her but did not say anything.
Studying his steely face, Maxi asked cautiously, “D-Demean yourself? How? I…don’t understand…why you’re so angry….”
“I—” Riftan clenched his jaw. His shoulders shook, and his eyes flashed like two dark flames.
The intensity of his anger was petrifying. He heaved as though he had something stuck in his throat before letting out a ragged exhale.
“I wanted to make that bastard suffer as much as—no, a hundred times more than the pain he caused you. I just can’t get the image of him lashing you out of my head. And you…crying in that godforsaken room…”
A wave of shock rippled through her as she noticed blood dripping from his clenched fist. She quickly clasped his hand.
Riftan gritted his teeth and snarled, “Ripping that bastard to shreds wouldn’t be enough. And yet, pointless concerns like the stability of the kingdom prevent me from doing anything. No matter how much I struggle to climb up, I’m still powerless. I can’t even protect you.”
“R-Riftan…don’t be l-like this,” Maxi pleaded, shaking her head. Using all her strength, she tried to unfurl his fist.
“And they call me the reincarnation of Rosem Wigrew!” he bellowed with a sandpaper raspiness. “If I were anything like the legendary hero, I wouldn’t be so powerless.”
“Th-That is not true.” Cupping his face in her hands, she forced him to look at her. “You…s-saved me.”
“I was too late! I was always late! I—”
Maxi dipped her head and gave him a soft kiss. His breath hitched, cutting off his beastly snarling. His hot breath tickled her lips.
Caressing his cheek, Maxi whispered in a quivering voice, “Wh-When I was young…I prayed every day…for the most g-gallant knight in the world t-to appear…and take me away from my father’s castle. I prayed f-for someone to come…a-and stop him from punishing me….”
When she forced a smile on her lips, Riftan’s eyes grew visibly pained. She stroked his tousled hair and kissed his forehead.
“Y-You…were the answer to my prayers. You are…my hero.”
Riftan’s face was contorted in agony as if he were being tortured. As Maxi pulled him into a comforting embrace, his whole body felt as tense as a taut string about to snap. His large, muscular frame curled in her arms like a helpless child.
Maxi’s heart ached. If only she had been a little tougher, he could have avoided such anguish. At least for his sake, she wanted to change. She would become the strongest and most resilient person she knew.
She lowered her head and kissed his burning nape. Through his chest pressed against hers, she felt the wild pounding of his heart.
“I’m no hero. I’m not—”
Riftan’s voice came out in a strangled rasp.
He stopped when Maxi touched his chest and looked up at her in a daze.
She kissed his cheek while her hands sank into his hair that gleamed almost dark blue.
As she wound the shaggy lock above his nape around her finger, a tremor coursed through his chiseled torso.
“Maxi…stop…”
She kissed his earlobe, pretending not to hear him. A growl rumbled in his throat. He grabbed her shoulders with trembling hands and pried her off.
“You’ve done enough.”
Maxi’s face flushed with embarrassment, and she anxiously looked up at him. “D-Do you not…want me anymore?”
Guilt flashed across Riftan’s features. He scrubbed at his face, then swore under his breath. “Do you think…that’s possible? I wanted you even when you were at your most frail.”
Maxi let out a sigh of relief. “Then…”
She placed her hand on his forearm. Riftan jerked away from her as though he had been branded with a burning iron. The pain in his eyes was palpable.
“But I don’t want to. Don’t you understand?
It disgusts me that I was no better than a beast in a rut, even as you were lying there wounded!
” He bent to rub his forehead on her hand and inhaled a shaky breath.
“I don’t want to make you suffer anymore.
I want to protect you. At least once, I want to treat you the way you deserve. ”
“B-But I’m not suffering.”
She lowered herself onto his lap, but he flinched and shook her off as he rose from the bed.
Maxi looked up at him with pleading eyes. “You have…never done a-anything to hurt me. I like…all that you do. I want to…touch you.”
She could see his throat bobbing as he desperately tried to swallow his thirst for her.
Almost automatically, Riftan stretched his arms out but stopped himself from embracing her at the last second.
His hands clenched into fists again. To Maxi’s surprise, there was fear on his face.
This man, who had faced terrifying monsters without batting an eye, appeared to be afraid of a woman less than half his size.
His jaw strained as he clenched his teeth before he looked away. “No, I can’t. I can’t promise that I’ll be gentle. I would no doubt take you like a frenzied beast—”
Maxi began undoing his belt and slipping her hands inside his clothes.
Riftan inhaled sharply, his arms held stiffly at his sides as he bunched his fists in an attempt to gather his self-control.
After hesitating for a moment, Maxi pressed her lips against his slightly parted ones and tentatively pushed her tongue forward.
The tip of his tongue was sweet from the wine.
When she gently licked his lips as if to savor the taste, Riftan responded hungrily.
Twisting her hair in his fist, he entwined his tongue with hers.
Maxi feverishly wound her arms around the sides of his sweaty neck.
Tilting his head, Riftan pushed his tongue deeper and moved one hand to squeeze her breast through her bodice, the other hand still buried in her hair.
Maxi felt her blood begin to simmer at all the sensations.