Chapter 10 #4
“Please save your displays of affection for when you’re alone,” Ruth said with a disgusted groan. “I cannot stomach it any longer.”
“Then look away.”
“Why don’t you return to your room? All I’m asking is for you to recognize the difference between a library and a bedchamber.”
Maxi buried her burning face in her hands.
Riftan clicked his tongue. “Very well. We’ll return to our room. Get up, Maxi.” He grabbed her arm.
“R-Riftan…” Maxi gripped the desk and remained seated. She was not so shameless that she would follow him to their room so early in the day. “H-Have you f-finished attending t-to all your d-duties?”
“I’ve ordered another knight to take over the rounds. Come, now.”
As Riftan tugged at her arm, she tightened her grip on the desk. She enjoyed spending time with him, but spending the rest of the day in bed seemed indecent. What would the servants think? Her eyes darted from Ruth to Ludis, then landed on the books before her.
“I-I haven’t f-finished r-reading…”
“You can read some other time.”
“I-I intend to f-finish these t-today.”
A crease formed on Riftan’s forehead. “What is it?” he asked, flipping through the book that was open before her.
“What’s so compelling about these books?
” Riftan stopped on a page filled with intricate diagrams and passages written in the ancient tongue.
His frown deepened. “Are you trying to learn magic?”
“Didn’t you know?” Ruth asked. “Her ladyship has been under my tutelage for several weeks now.”
Riftan’s head snapped up. “What?”
“Did you not inform him?” Ruth looked at Maxi, one brow raised in surprise, before turning back to Riftan. “Her ladyship seems to have magical potential, so I’ve been instructing—”
“With whose permission?!” Riftan slammed the book closed.
Maxi flinched. She had not told Riftan because she was not confident that she would actually be able to perform magic.
She had thought the news of her studies would make him happy and she worried about getting his hopes up, only to disappoint him.
Mages were valuable assets, after all. In recent years, the demand for them had surpassed the number of skilled mages available.
Maxi had heard that even low-ranking mages were now treated like royalty.
Yet Riftan did not seem pleased in the slightest.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Riftan glowered at Ruth, his tone as severe as if the mage had committed a crime.
“Well, you were away on a raid when the lessons began…” Ruth trailed off, seeming to struggle for words. He looked uncharacteristically flustered as he continued. “She won’t be learning anything difficult. Would it not be helpful if the lady of Anatol mastered basic defensive and healing spells?”
“Helpful? I don’t need help!” Riftan’s shout echoed through the library.
Maxi bunched her skirt in her fists, frightened by his tone and hurt by his words.
Seeing her face go pale, Riftan muttered a curse and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “I didn’t bring you here because I needed your help,” he said, his voice softer now. “I just…I wanted you to live in comfort. Performing magic is draining—more than you might think.”
“I-I’m not t-trying to do a-anything d-dangerous. I j-just want t-to be helpful—”
“Did you not hear me? I don’t need your help!”
She flinched again, shocked by his vehemence. Looking unsure of himself, Riftan anxiously caressed her face.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he said. “I’m not saying no. I just…” He trailed off and bit his lip.
A heavy silence fell over the library. Riftan glanced between Maxi’s crestfallen face and Ruth’s sullen one, then ran a hand through his hair.
“Do as you please,” he said, his mouth twisting bitterly.
With that, he turned around and strode out of the library. All Maxi could do was watch him go.
—
Darkness fell, but Riftan did not return. Maxi paced around her room, glancing out the window each time she passed it. According to Rodrigo, Riftan had ridden out of the castle grounds after leaving the library and was unarmed.
Maxi was sick with worry. Sensing her distress, the kittens awoke from their slumber by the fireplace and began to mew at her feet. Maxi scooped them up and sat on the bed, placing them on her lap. For a while, she stroked the kittens, but eventually lay down and slowly closed her eyes.
Riftan’s outburst confounded her. Did he think her impudent? Or was he disappointed that she had kept her magic training a secret? She should have discussed it with him first, but she could not understand why her lessons had upset him….
As Maxi was lost in thought, the door opened. She opened her eyes at the sound, then quickly closed them. She could tell it was Riftan just by the sound of his footsteps. With her back toward him, Maxi pretended to be asleep—she did not have the courage to face him.
Riftan approached the bed and stood quietly over her for a moment, then gently picked up the kittens and placed them inside their basket one by one.
Maxi strained her ears to follow his movements. She heard him set the basket by the fireplace. After removing his cloak, he returned to the bed and sat down to remove his boots. She waited, unmoving, for him to lie down next to her, but Riftan remained where he was.
Her heart clenched painfully, and Maxi buried her face in the pillow. Did he despise her so much that he no longer wished to share a bed? She had only wanted to help—he was the one who had said that he detested incompetent fools.
Maxi bit her lip. She had been convinced that he needed her. To hear him say otherwise was painful. Curling up into a ball, she clutched the sheets and hid her face.
A calloused finger grazed her skin as, with faltering hands, Riftan caressed her cheek and brushed aside a few stray strands of hair.
Maxi held her breath. Even without opening her eyes, she knew that he gazed at her, intense as the flames in the fireplace.
He grazed the back of his hand along her cheek, then placed the tip of his finger on her lips.
She reflexively shrank away, and he must have thought she spurned him because he slowly withdrew. Maxi grabbed his hand, stopping him.
“R-Riftan…” Maxi searched his face, unsure of her next words.
He seemed unsurprised that she was awake; he must have known that she had only been pretending.
His ink-black eyes gleamed softly beneath his disheveled hair as he watched her silently.
Maxi’s heart withered under that impassive gaze.
Perhaps she had angered him so badly that he had come to hate her. The thought terrified her.
“I-I am s-sorry. P-Please forgive me….” She did not know what she was apologizing for, but the words left her mouth before she could think about them.
Riftan inhaled sharply and took her into his arms. “Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong. I just…” His hand slid through her hair before coming to a stop at the back of her head.
Burying her nose in his chest, Maxi breathed shakily, her shoulders trembling.
Riftan stroked her back reassuringly and murmured into her ear. “You can learn magic or anything else you want, so please don’t be afraid.”
“I-I am not a-afraid.”
“That’s a lie. I can feel you shaking—damn it! I finally managed to make you smile, but now we’ve gone back to the way things were at the beginning.”
“I-I’m really not s-scared.” Maxi bit her trembling lip. His gentle embrace and assurances had eased her fears, but the anguished feeling of being useless to him still threatened to drown her. She clutched his tunic and pressed her forehead against his chest. “But you s-said you d-didn’t need me….”
Riftan’s arms tightened around her, and he shook his head vigorously. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I-Is my w-wanting to help an in-inconvenience?”
“That isn’t what I said.”
“I-I just wanted t-to do s-something, anything w-within my abilities…”
“You don’t have to do anyth—” Riftan stopped mid-outburst and sighed in frustration. He eyed her for a moment, then abruptly pressed his lips to hers.
When Maxi cupped his face and kissed him back, his jaw quivered, as if he might melt beneath her touch. She felt him swallow hard before he pushed his tongue into her mouth with slow intensity. Maxi shuddered lightly as Riftan’s knee pushed into her skirt.
“You can do as you wish,” he mumbled, gently sucking on her lip. “So, please, don’t look at me like that.”
His pleading tone tempted her to give in, but she pressed on. “Y-You f-flew into a t-temper.”
“Forgive me. It won’t happen again.”
He stroked her back as if trying to pacify a small, fearful creature. Through her thin chemise, Maxi could feel the calluses on his large hand. She relaxed and nuzzled in his neck.
“Maxi…” A shiver ran through his body as he spoke.
“Y-Your skin feels cold. W-Were you outdoors th-this whole time?”
“I needed to cool my head….” His voice trailed off like a candle sputtering out as Maxi stroked his chest with her fingertips.
Blushing, Maxi pretended not to notice his arousal pressed against her thigh. Perhaps she was being too bold, but he did not object, so she continued to nuzzle at him.
“B-Because you were a-angry with me?”
“It wasn’t you I was angry with….” His voice shook with his desire.
After hesitating briefly, Maxi reached down to touch him over his trousers.
Heat rose to her head, and she was overcome with a need to see Riftan come undone.
She was sure the day’s distress had done something to her; she would never be so bold as this otherwise.
As she slid her hands inside his tunic and caressed his narrow, finely muscled waist, Riftan sucked in a breath as if he had been kicked in the gut.
“Maxi…”
Ignoring the agitation in his voice, Maxi traced the muscular lines of his abdomen with her fingertip. He was hard as a rock under her touch. Fascinated, Maxi pressed gently against the tense muscles, then teased the flesh around his navel.