Chapter 11 #6
Pleased with her work, Maxi smiled and wiped the sweat from her forehead.
It was by no means an extraordinary feat, but she had been able to help others, and that filled her with joy.
Since childhood, Maxi’s uselessness had been hammered into her mind as an indisputable fact.
Now for the first time in her life, she thought that perhaps her father had been wrong.
Tears stung her eyes and threatened to overwhelm her.
As the knights prepared to leave, Hebaron turned back to Maxi.
“If it suits you, my lady,” he said, “please come to us if you are ever in need of more volunteers. And I will be sure to let the others know.”
Maxi nodded, giving him a timid smile.
—
After that day, Maxi frequently visited the kitchen to heal the servants. Occasionally, she would also stop by the training grounds to tend to the knights.
Maxi’s skills gradually improved as she continued to heal five or six minor injuries each day. Soon, she was able to heal even severe injuries. Her speech impediment, on the other hand, showed no signs of improvement.
Her daily routine included time shut away in her chambers to practice her articulation, and she made conversation with servants she passed in the halls or in the kitchen whenever she could. But despite these efforts, her tongue only seemed to be growing heavier.
Trying not to feel discouraged, Maxi practiced relentlessly. She read phonetic symbols or recited lyrical poetry, but she was secretive about these sessions. Working on her speech alone had surely slowed her progress, but she did not want Riftan or the servants to see her in such a pathetic light.
All this was more than enough to keep Maxi busy, but there were still her duties as the lady of the castle, which she could not neglect.
Work on the gardens would start once Paxias ended and the world turned to spring.
She was already buried in paperwork for the planning and budgeting with Rodrigo and Aderon.
As the end of winter neared, Maxi’s list of tasks grew so long she began to wish there were more hours in the day.
“You look tired,” Riftan said to her one night. Freshly bathed, he stroked her cheek as he spoke.
Maxi smiled awkwardly. For the past few weeks, she had awoken at dawn alongside Riftan and stayed up late into the night, waiting for him to come to bed.
She was overwhelmed by the number of tasks that required her daily attention, but forcing her body to match the daily routine of an athletic knight had taken its toll and dark circles shadowed her eyes.
Riftan frowned and brushed his thumb beneath her eye. “It’s because you’re overextending yourself with magic, isn’t it? I know you’ve been healing any and every injury. If that’s the reason—”
“It’s not,” Maxi said as steadily as she could while holding Riftan’s gaze. “I w-wouldn’t be able to improve…if I didn’t practice. I-In fact, I am the one…troubling everyone. The wounds I h-heal…are minor s-so…they d-don’t require much m-magic.”
Riftan worked at least three times harder than she did, but his face showed no signs of fatigue. How did he not yawn, even after only a few hours of sleep? She looked up at him, feeling a little envious.
Every day, Riftan met with blacksmiths to discuss the creation of new weapons, and he trained the sentries and squires.
Recently, he had also begun plans for the construction of a new road, which was set to begin on the eve of Aquarias, the spring season.
Yet Riftan was always brimming with energy.
Maxi was certain that, even if she split herself into three, she would not be able to handle half of his workload.
Riftan scooped Maxi up and placed her on his lap, then began to massage her neck and the backs of her ears. “Has anyone else been disrespectful toward you?”
“N-No.”
“Is anything troubling you?”
“N-No, nothing is…troubling me.”
“I know you have always been a woman of few words,” Riftan said, an edge to his voice. “But all you seem to tell me recently is that you’re fine.”
“B-But…I-I really am fine. And everyone has been nice…” Maxi trailed off, unsure of what else she should say to convince him.
Riftan leaned back and studied her. “I heard that you’re working on the new landscaping for the garden.”
“Y-Yes…I thought it would be b-best…to make it presentable…before guests arrive in the spring.”
“Are you sure you’re not overworking yourself? Managing the servants alone must be exhausting.” Riftan’s voice was heavy with worry.
Maxi smiled wryly. If anyone was overworking themselves, it was him. “C-Compared to the things you do…my work…can hardly be called exhausting.”
“Maxi, that’s not a fair comparison. My body has been conditioned for hard labor my whole life, so I have a great deal of stamina—more than most knights. But you are more frail than most women.”
“I-I am not frail. I-I would say that I am…rather strong.”
Even when her back was torn and bleeding from her father’s lashings, Maxi had never once fainted. She might have lost consciousness during the ogre encounter on their way to Anatol, but she still considered herself tougher than the noblewomen who screamed and fainted at the sight of mice.
Riftan snorted. “So says the woman who has spent all her life inside a castle.” He grabbed her waist with his large hand, and his forehead creased with worry. “See? Hardly a handful. You’re so thin I could fit two of you in my arms.”
“Y-You are the one who…is too big….I-I am ordinary.”
Riftan gave another snort. “None of the women I know are as skinny as you. I worry just looking at you.”
His genuine concern bewildered Maxi. It was true that she was slim and not exactly tall, but she did not think it was anything to cause worry.
Maybe he only knew tall and voluptuous women.
Princess Agnes had participated in the Dragon Campaign, so she must certainly be tougher and more robust than Maxi.
She imagined the imposing and beautiful princess by Riftan’s side, and it felt like a knife to the heart. The princess suited him better in every possible way.
Maxi could not pinpoint exactly when the change had occurred, but the ghost that fed her insecurity was no longer her half-sister—it was Princess Agnes. Why she tortured herself with comparisons to a woman she had never met was as incomprehensible to her as Riftan’s concerns about her constitution.
“You…exaggerate. I-I am not…that s-scrawny.”
Overcome with emotion, Maxi’s voice came out colder than she intended, and Riftan’s hand flinched where it rested against her back.
He frowned and replied in a self-deprecating tone. “But I even worry about the winds blowing at you.” Tightening his arms around her, he rested his chin on top of her head.
Maxi lay against his chest and listened to the beating of his heart. Sleet rasped mournfully against the window, and a strange tension swelled between them in the silence.
A small rift had formed in their relationship. Riftan cared for Maxi to an excessive degree, making every effort to show her kindness and love, but she was never trusted with his innermost thoughts. It sometimes felt as though the only thing he truly wished to share with her was their bed.
But Maxi could not resent him for the very thing she found difficult to do. She could only hide herself around Riftan, forever fearful that he would find her true self wretched.
Maxi was always the most nervous, the most cautious, in front of Riftan. She feared nothing more than his disillusionment. It was ironic; the more she cared for him, the higher the wall she built between them. And now that wall seemed insurmountable.
Maxi wanted to believe that there was no better relationship in the world than theirs.
They shared a bed and she lacked for nothing.
Riftan protected her, and she managed the castle and would one day give birth to his heir.
That was all a marriage required—and theirs was an arranged union, forced upon them by her father.
To expect anything more was greedy of her.
“Just relax,” said Riftan, rubbing her tense shoulders. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re tired.”
He had misread her anxiousness as reluctance to perform her marital duty. Maxi nearly protested—she did want to be with him, but she was too embarrassed to insist. And in truth, she was incredibly exhausted.
Riftan brushed his lips against her forehead. “You need to rest,” he said, then stood and laid her down on the bed.
After blowing out the bedside lamp, he crawled in next to her and slid his arm under her head.
Maxi snuggled up against him, inhaling his sweet yet masculine scent.
Riftan shifted, as if uncomfortable, but simply sighed and rubbed her shoulder.
Though she could feel his hardness pressed against her thigh, he lay still.
Maxi savored his gentle touch and slowly drifted to sleep enveloped by the tranquil warmth of his embrace.
—
The next day began with winter rain. Maxi was enjoying a late lunch in the dining hall, absorbed in a book on magic, when a group of drenched knights flooded into the hall. The downpour had cut their training short.
Maxi greeted them as they stomped about, shaking their hair free of the icy water.
Their interactions had become more frequent recently, and not just because of the occasional healing session.
The once brusque knights now spoke to her without prompting whenever they crossed paths, and Maxi was elated by the change.
After greeting the knights, she launched excitedly into praise for the soup, which she thought was exceptionally delicious today, and how the freshly baked bread melted in her mouth. The knights rubbed their empty bellies and complained about being famished.
As the banter continued, Maxi spotted Ulyseon trailing in behind another knight. With horror, she realized the young squire’s face was covered in blood.