Chapter 4
CHAPTER
FOUR
NASH
I slam the front door of my house, walking straight up the stairs to my room. Coach will definitely tell my dad I skipped practice, but I don’t care. I don’t care about baseball, and I don’t care about my dad.
It’s hard to care about anything anymore.
I pull my phone out, flopping dramatically on my bed. Carson’s messages are flooding in.
Carson
Where are you?
What happened?
Do you know that girl?
I toss the phone on the floor, rubbing my hands down my face. I never told Carson about Cori, and I never really wanted to. Crazy as it sounds, the day I met her always felt like mine. It’s not that I purposefully kept it from him, but I wanted to keep it for myself.
The truth is, that day was a waste. By the time I blinked, she was gone, and my life was in shambles.
The second I kissed her, I knew that I was done with Jovie, and I was done doing everything for everyone else. I was tired of living in the shadows but little did I know, those shadows saved me.
My phone rings across the floor, buzzing into the carpet, but I ignore it. Knowing that no matter who is on the other end, they won’t pull me out of this. Not today.
The door slams downstairs, and my dad’s voice fills the silence. My mom quickly matches his tone, “You aren’t here, so what do you care? I can handle Nash by myself, Nathan!”
He growls, “He can’t be skipping school, and you’re never here to keep him in line, Kendra. If I have to go to court to get custody of him, I will. Get it together!”
I step from my room, letting the door fly backward into the drywall, “Hell no! Over my dead body will I ever come live with you.”
My father clenches his teeth, “Nash, if you skip school again, your car is gone, your phone, everything. I’ll take you to school myself.”
I laugh, “What about baseball? Wanna take that away too?”
He rolls his eyes, “Don’t be so dramatic.”
“Go back to your son, dad. You know the one you left me for.”
I slam the door back, locking it. He doesn’t get to come in here making demands after walking away. No.
I hear more yelling before a soft knock at the door.
“Nash, honey, let me in,” Mom whispers, and I stare at the door handle. “Please. Nash, I’m sorry.”
I yank it open, leaving her standing there as I walk back to my bed, “Where have you been?”
She doesn’t respond, opting for silence instead. Perching herself at the foot of my bed.
“Nevermind,” I sigh. “I don’t want to know.”
Things have gone from bad to worse lately, and I know it’s because my mom is doing whatever she can to get high.
It didn’t take long after the divorce for her to start finding ways to forget.
I just keep lying to everyone because I don’t want anyone’s pity.
Carson has noticed she’s gone more, though, and I know that he’s told his parents.
They invite me over all the time and help make sure I survive.
It’s just sad because I basically live in this five-bedroom house alone.
My mom stands, the empty shell that she is, and walks out of my room. The little part of me who cares wants to chase after her, help her somehow, but I can’t. No one can help her.
This whole town has practically blacklisted her. Her friends, the junior league, the women in her book club. I guess that happens when the truth of an affair comes out. The secret that I could’ve kept under wraps had I not been a horny fourteen-year-old and kissed Jovie’s cousin.
The girl that is now in my school. Princess Corinne Clark, walking around the hall with no clue.
Why is she even here?
My phone continues to blow up. I pick it up off the carpet, scrolling through all the messages. I throw it against the wall, watching it crash into pieces.
I’m good at disappearing, and I’m even better at avoiding Carson and his perfect life. I try not to hold it against him, though, because it’s not his fault.
I lay here long enough to come up with a plan.
The easiest I can conjure is to just ignore her, the other being a plan of attack.
To make her suffer the way a stupid kiss from her made me suffer.
The part messing with my head the most is that I can’t stop thinking about it.
She ruined everything. My entire family blew up because of that stupid kiss.
A kiss that, at the time, I was so desperate for.
I walk down the stairs, grab a Red Bull from the fridge, and attempt to give myself some energy since Carson and I stayed up all night. My mom is in her room with the door closed, so I rummage through the pantry, find the vodka bottle, and pour a little into the can.
I put the can to my lips, knowing it won’t make me feel any better.
I’m just really good at making horrible decisions, and I’m even better at making bad days worse.
It’s not that I don’t know better, but the more good choices I make, the more I suffer.
So I’ve decided to give in to the demons on my shoulder. It’s easier that way.
My keys are taunting me from the counter, so I grab them and walk out to my Jeep. I can’t help but think about Drayton as I pull the door open. My dad got him a Jeep just like this but a different color.
How messed up is that?
I’ll tell you. This kid is exactly my age, just a couple months younger, and plays baseball at Oak Valley Prep.
Our rival.
So my dad basically left us and started being a dad to someone else.
Drayton Lewis, who I’ve known since we were five.
He was on several of my travel teams growing up.
He’s a pitcher, but he’s no Carson. He’s perfect, though, and never fails to rub it in.
Perfect grades, perfect hair, perfect family, perfect life.
Which is why I avoid him at all costs, Dad too.
Dad found a new family, Mom is out doing whatever to get the pills she swears she needs, and I’m here… alone. I shake off the self-pity, reminding myself I like it this way.
I start the Jeep and head to Avery’s. It’s Friday night, and since I took this shot of liquid courage, I’m done hiding. If I have to see Corinne, I’ll make her life miserable. Just like she made mine.