Chapter 16
CHAPTER
SIXTEEN
CARSON
“We filming the jump today?” Nash asks, walking next to me to baseball practice.
“I don’t know. Avery isn’t here, and she isn’t answering my texts. She must be sick or something, so I’m gonna go check on her after practice. It’s not like her to miss, especially on her birthday week. You and I both know she usually eats up the attention.”
“I’ll get my dad’s boat keys today, so just let me know.”
I nod, acknowledging him before pulling out my phone to text Avie again. I planned to throw her a surprise party this weekend, but things have been a little rocky lately. Especially since I had to come and drag Nash out of her house last weekend.
After my talk with Mom, I realized things with Avery aren’t what they used to be. It’s almost like we’ve outgrown each other. Truthfully, I’m tired. Tired of pretending that we are more than friends, tired of posing as a couple to keep up the image for her followers.
It’s exhausting.
Not to mention the fact that I kissed Cori. Technically I cheated on her, and I didn’t even mean for it to happen—it just did.
Then Nash went all possessive at lunch, and honestly, now I’m worried about him, Cori, and Avery.
Practice is uneventful, and at the end, Nash and I take off for our usual mile runaround campus.
“What were you and Cori arguing about after school?”
He laughs, our feet hitting the rubberized track pretty much in unison, “I was just sealing the deal on our arrangement.”
My mind shoots back to watching him kiss her, the way she jerked away. “Is she aware of the arrangement?”
Nash stops, putting both hands on his knees to rest, peering up at me through his sweaty blond hair. “Dude, don’t get all soft on me. That girl is trouble, and you know it.”
Trouble? If anyone would know all about that, it’s Nash. He’s the damn definition of trouble. I don’t understand why he thinks he has the right to an opinion about her. He barely even knows her, aside from a stupid kiss when they were fourteen.
“You don’t even know her!” I argue, wiping the sweat off my forehead with my t-shirt.
“Neither do you! Or did you learn a little bit more in your room last night?”
Wait? He saw us?
“It’s not what you think,” I start, my mouth suddenly feeling dry, but he interrupts my excuse.
“Do you know what Jovie told me, Carson?”
I just look at him, suddenly feeling like I betrayed him somehow.
“She said that she’s here because she can’t go home. Do you know why that is? Does anyone?”
I shake my head, “No, we don’t know, and I bet Jovie doesn’t either. Jovie just knows whatever lies she’s spun to fit her agenda. God, Nash, when are you going to learn that Jovie Clark is the problem?”
He laughs, “Probably the same time you realize that Avery Sinclair doesn’t make your dick hard anymore.”
I shove him, causing him to take a few wobbly steps. “Shut up.”
He laughs, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to lock her in the closet.”
I cringe thinking back to two years ago, “Not your finest hour.”
“I know,” he agrees. “And now Lainey’s hanging out with Drayton Lewis. Talk about revenge.”
“He’s not the enemy. You know that, man.”
“Yeah, it’s hard to remember that, though, when my dad is tucking him in at night.”
I try to ease the blow, “He’s sixteen, so I highly doubt that.”
He laughs, “I can’t wait to hit off of him this spring. I’m definitely gonna send one over the fence and flip him the bird while I run the bases.”
“Coach T will love that,” I deadpan.
He shrugs, nudging me with his elbow, “Come on, I’ll race you back to the cages.”
We take off, and right at the end, I use my second wind to fly by him. Ha! Guess all that weed he’s been smoking is messing with his lungs. We say our goodbyes, and I’m a little surprised when I see Parker leaning against my truck.
“Have you seen Avery?” she questions, slinging her cheer bag over her shoulder. “She wouldn’t miss practice this close to the football game. Is she alright?”
I feel my stomach start to knot, “No, actually, I was on my way to check on her.”
“Just tell her to call me, okay?”
She stalks off, straight into Jonah’s arms. “Yeah, I will.”
I jump into my truck, re-reading Avery’s messages from last night.
Short. Impersonal. Uninterested.
It’s not normal for Avie at all.
She’ll get pissed and distance herself some but not entirely, definitely not missing school and ghosting. Although the last conversation I had with her on the phone this morning before school didn’t end well.
I decide that now is a good time to book the venue for a party this weekend while I drive to her house. It already should have been done, really.
“Dockside Marina,” the hostess answers the phone, and I explain that I want to book the place for a party this weekend. “Yes, ma’am, Saturday the twenty-fifth.”
She shuffles papers on the other line, “Honey, this Saturday is the twenty-sixth.”
What? Wait.
“Yeah, that’s perfect, 7pm. I’ll send someone in early to decorate. Thanks.”
I ramble quickly, ending the call. My days are all mixed up.
The playground. I missed the playground.
Regret suffocates me, entirely filling my lungs with a heaviness. I’m not this guy. No matter what I have going on, I’m there for my friends. I always put the people I love first.
Was I so blinded by Cori’s presence that I dropped the ball?
Oh my God, I was. What is wrong with me?
The yellow lines on the road blur as I race to Avery’s house.
I punch the gate code into the stone pillar, and the black iron gate swings open.
She lives on the beach, not even in the zone for Legacy.
Her dad pays to send her there. Money can get you whatever you want in Legacy Bay. I guess any town, really.
Her Mercedes is in the driveway, so I walk up the front steps, pushing the door open.
“Avie, you here?” I call, my voice echoing in the foyer. When I turn the corner into the kitchen, I realize something is off. Everything is too quiet. Worry starts to creep into my throat as I walk a little faster to find her.
Rounding the top of the staircase, glass crunches loudly beneath my shoes. Every single picture frame that once graced the walls is shattered on the ground, and Avery’s small body is sprawled out between her balcony and the foot of her bed. The glass beneath her has caused some cuts to her skin.
“Avie?” I call, shaking her and rolling her over.
Her mascara is smudged, her eyes covered in black flakes.
Her body is limp in my arms and panic starts to creep into my brain, sending me into fight or flight mode.
“Avery!” I yell again, brushing her hair away from her face.
I feel her wrist for a pulse, and I’m relieved when I find one, but her breathing is too shallow. I’m not sure what’s wrong or what she did to herself.
I pull out my phone, panicking, but luckily it only rings once before my mom’s voice fills the line.
“Mom, I need your help. I came over here to check on Avie, and something is wrong. She’s,” I pause, looking down at her, tears threatening my eyes.
“She’s alive, I think, but she’s not answering me. ”
“Carson, don’t panic. Listen to me. Did she take anything? Is she physically hurt?”
I glance at her body. “There’s glass, but I don’t see any real cuts, I… Mom,” I cry.
She raises her voice to snap me out of it, “Honey, is she drunk? Look around the room, look for anything out of place.”
I look around, but I don’t see anything.
“I don’t see anything. Mom…” My voice cracks, “What if, what if she dies?”
“Keep trying to wake her, roll her to her side, and hang up right now, Carson. Call 911. I’m on my way.”
I mash the red icon as fast as possible, quickly dialing 911.
As soon as the operator assures me that help is on the way, I drop my phone against the floor.
That’s when I notice the orange pill bottle peeking from under the nightstand. I scoop it into my hand, and the next hour is a blur.
They transport Avery to the hospital, and my mom ushers me into her car, following behind the ambulance.
“Carson!” Her voice snaps me out of it.
“Yeah?”
“Did you call her dad?”
I just stare at her, my brain unable to relay the message to my voice box.
“I’ll call,” she sighs. “You need to tell me what happened. The police are going to want to know.”
I fidget my hands nervously in my lap, fear still at the forefront of my mind.
“She didn’t come to school today. She didn’t answer my calls or texts. I don’t know how long she was like that. I should’ve come sooner,” I ramble. “Mom… I went to baseball. What if I had come sooner? I should’ve—”
“Honey,” she grabs my hand. “Please calm down. You did what you could.”
Did I? Should I have called 911 first?
“Is she going to die?”
Mom pulls into a parking spot outside of the emergency room, “Probably not, babe. Let’s just get inside and find out what’s going on.”
We rush through the doors, but they won’t let us back to see her. The uncertainty is killing me, and I can’t help but pace a hole in the floor.
An hour later, Avery’s dad walks in. He’s on his cell phone and stalks past the reception desk like he owns the hospital.
He doesn’t even acknowledge us. I would figure that he would go back and see his daughter, but I watch as he stops at the nurse’s desk and speaks with a doctor.
He walks back out, still on his cell phone, stopping in front of me.
“She’s okay. She took too much of her medicine, but the levels aren’t too high, so they think it was an accident. They’re going to keep her overnight to watch her. I’ll be back to drive her home tomorrow when they release her. Thanks for calling me, Lexie.”
My mom doesn’t even get a chance to respond before he’s out the door. Are you serious right now?
Mom turns to me, trying to swallow her rage, “Let’s go check on her.”
We walk back past the doors and find the room, a nurse taking her blood pressure when we step in. It’s like a straight kick to my gut seeing her like this. Pale, broken, and wrapped in an ugly olive green gown. Her eyes look tired, and she even hesitates to make eye contact with me.
The nurse speaks up, “She’s still a little out of it, and she needs to sleep it off.”
My mom follows the nurse out to speak with her in the hall, and I can’t take my eyes off of Avery.
She could’ve died.
I sit down in the chair next to the bed, “I’m sorry about what I said on the phone this morning.”
She opens her eyes a little, slurring her words, “Where’s my dad?”
I grab her hand, “He stopped by, but he left again.”
Tears start falling from her eyes, and I climb up on the bed with her, pulling her into my chest.
“We can release a statement,” she slurs. “That we both decided it was best if we broke up. We can keep the press out of it so they don’t spin rumors.”
She’s obviously out of it, but her mind is on breaking up. My heart breaks a little bit that I let her down.
My mom walks back in, her eyes falling to Avery asleep on my chest, “She’s going to be okay. She should be back to normal in a few hours.”
I nod, Mom’s voice lowering to a whisper, “Carson, she’s not okay, is she?”
I shake my head, “I don’t know. I’ve been so distracted. I haven’t been myself, and things have been so weird with us lately. Fall prospect camps are coming up, and I just… I don’t know.”
She shakes her head, “Carson, you are a good boy. I know you just want what’s best for her, but it’s okay to think about yourself sometimes too. Maybe you both just need a break.”
Irony sets in when Avery’s agent walks in, probably following orders from her dad.
“Carson, this does not leave this room,” she warns. “If the press catches wind about this—”
Mom turns her way, cutting her off, “She could’ve died, and you’re worried about TMZ?”
If anyone knows anything about bad press, it’s my mom. Her mother was an actress, a very famous one, and her dad was a hot-shot movie producer. She basically lived in the middle of a Hollywood scandal.
“I just want her to keep her sponsors. The second her follower count starts to go down, they’ll bolt.”
I should let it go, but I find myself struggling to remain quiet. “Shut up, Lindsay. You can tell Avery your damage control plan tomorrow. Right now, we don’t really give a shit.”
She rolls her eyes, “Fine. I’ll be back tomorrow with her phone and keys, and I already sent someone over to clean up the glass.”
Ha, figures. Her dad can’t be bothered with his own daughter’s problems, so he sends someone else to clean up the mess. I want to believe that this was an accident, but the more I dwell on it, the more I realize maybe I don’t know anything at all.
I didn’t know Avery sees a therapist, and I didn’t know she is on antidepressants or has chronic insomnia. Something tells me there is a whole lot more that I don’t know.
I wanted to talk to her today and tell her that we both need space. Separate identities. Separate lives.
I feel really guilty as I think back on our phone conversation this morning before school and the last thing I said to her.
They are strangers, Avery! They don’t love you, and neither do I.
It’s confusing because I do love her, though. I love her enough to let her find someone else that can make her happy.