Chapter 33
CHAPTER
THIRTY-THREE
CORI
“Nothing is ever how you think it’s going to be, is it?” Benson, whines into the phone.
“You don’t know how much I relate to that right now,” I groan. “Are things not working out between you and Amelia? She’s a great dancer.”
“No, Cori. We just don’t mesh, not like we did. You anticipated my next move, practically read my mind, and she’s stiff.”
I think back to dancing with Benson. I’ve never felt safer, and it was like all the trouble in my life vanished.
“You’ll get it. You just have to trust. In case you have forgotten, we didn’t mesh so well in the beginning either.”
“Because you don’t dance like anyone else I’ve ever met. There’s no one like you. You made me great. Without you, I’m just okay.”
“Benny, you know that isn’t true.”
“It is,” he sighs. “I’ve always known you were the one that made me look good. Now the whole school knows it too.”
His words stab me. I hate seeing Benson upset, especially when I know he's a great dancer, with or without me.
“Prove. Them. Wrong.” I emphasize.
“I’m trying. I really am, but without you and Aspen here, I kinda feel like I don’t belong anymore.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it. If anyone belongs at Brooks, it’s you. Is Zander leaving you alone?”
He goes silent, and I force my eyes shut and purse my lips, “Benny, please tell me no one is messing with you.”
“No,” he whispers. “But Zander is not trying to fly under the radar like he was. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.”
Oh no. I can feel the bile forming in the back of my throat as dread coats my words. “Do I even want to know?”
He huffs, “Probably not. He’s playing the victim, and everyone feels sorry for him. He made up some sob story about how you drugged him and slept with him to get back at Aspen.”
“Jesus.”
He hesitates a moment before continuing, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but wouldn’t it be better for everyone if you guys just told the truth?”
My protective instinct immediately kicks in. My voice is already dripping in anger before I even realize it.
“Why? So Aspen died for nothing?” I yell.
At least with people thinking that Zander and I betrayed her, there was some reason for her death. Even if it was a lie, I could handle the hateful stares and rumors.
“Aspen is gone, Cori! She’s gone, and she’s not coming back. I think protecting her is a little pointless at this point. Besides, she knows the truth now. She’d want you to tell the truth and come back to school. Where you belong, dancing with me!”
Benson is the only person that knows the truth. Not my parents, not Aspen’s. My dad is still trying to get Zander kicked out of school and arrested for a video that I destroyed, which he wasn’t even in.
“I can’t, Ben. There’s more on the line than my reputation, for everyone involved.”
“You are such a people pleaser. That is the problem here. You think you can run away and avoid the situation, and it will blow over. I hate to break it to you, but a sixteen-year-old girl is dead, cops are still lingering around here like flies you can’t swat away, and Zander isn’t helping your case. ”
I sigh, “Zander can’t tell anyone that it wasn’t him in the video either, and you know why! So whatever he has to say to make himself seem like a victim is fine with me. Even if it’s that I drugged him, forced him, whatever.”
After I say that, I realize I could probably get in trouble if the police think I did anything without his consent.
At this point, it’s his word against mine because there is no proof.
I know there isn’t because I deleted it.
My dad has become obsessed with looking for something that I know doesn’t exist anymore.I appreciate his efforts to clear my name, but he can’t know why I needed to destroy it..
“Are you going to ask me about him?”
“No,” I warn. “It’s better if I don’t know.”
“Has he tried to reach out to you?”
The thought of talking to him again makes my skin crawl, remembering all the awful things he said to me, and to think I lied to my best friend to sneak around with him. What a tangled ass web I’ve managed to weave.
“No. I’ve shut down all my social media accounts and changed my number. Plus, unless you’ve told someone, no one knows where I am. My dad wants to keep it that way because he thinks I’m in danger with everyone blaming me for Aspen’s death.”
Which was my fault. Maybe not in the way everyone thought, but she might still be here if I hadn’t lied.
“Promise me if he tries to get in touch with you that you’ll tell me, that you’ll tell someone.”
“I promise,” I whisper.
At least, I think I do.
CHICAGO
THIS PAST SUMMER
“When are you going to tell her the truth, Cor? This sneaking around shit is getting old.”
“I’ll tell her soon, I promise. I don’t really feel like arguing about it right now with the showcase coming up.”
He slams the car door, rounding the hood to open mine. Even if he isn’t a gentleman, he does a good job pretending.
“It’s none of her fucking business,” he growls. “I don’t even know why you guys are friends. You are absolutely nothing alike.”
I sigh, “She’s my best friend, Kane. Can we just drop it?”
He grips the back of my neck, pulling my lips to his, “When are you going to realize that I’m the only one you need right now?”
It’s toxic, but I believe him because I want him just as much as he wants me. So much that I’ve lied to everyone for the past month about being with him.
“I know,” I whisper. “I love you.”
He wraps me into a hug, the faint smell of smoke and weed embedded in his jacket. “I love you, Cor.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” I question, pulling away.
“Yeah, I’ll pick you up after I leave work.”
I watch him get back into his car, and he makes a show of spinning the tires as he pulls away.
I walk into my dorm building, heading straight for our room, running smack dab into Aspen on the stairs. “You are awfully dressed up for someone who’s been in the studio.”
Busted.
“Actually, I signed up for the wrong studio time. So Benson and I went and got dinner.”
She crosses her arms, “Uh-huh, what did you order?”
“What?” I ask, confused. Why does she care what I ate?
“What did you and Benny get?”
“I got a Rueben, and he got soup and salad.”
I hear the door on the floor above us slam closed, and footsteps echo in the stairwell. I watch as Benson descends, standing right next to her.
“Sorry, I couldn’t find my phone!” he explains. “Oh, hey Cori! How was your workout? You ready for your solo?”
Aspen stares at me, my foot in my mouth.
This is what happens when I try to lie. I’m terrible at it.
“She wasn’t practicing, Ben. She’s too busy making up lies to tell her bestie.”
He looks between us, confused. I start to stutter another excuse, “Aspen, It’s not… I was just—”
“Quick!” she interrupts. “Think of a good lie to feed me.”
I don’t respond quick enough, so she continues her rant, “What is wrong with you? Why are you lying to me when I’m the only person who has been there for you through everything!
I was the only person who knew Cori. Every single time Kane has broken your heart, who has put it back together? I’ll tell you! Me!”
I stand there, staring at her. She’s right. Every time Kane messed up, I tore myself apart, and she picked up the pieces.
“Oh my God,” she whispers. “Are you seeing him again?”
I step closer to her, the promise I made to her that I’d stay away from him in the forefront of my mind. She backs away, “You are, aren’t you! Oh my God, it all makes sense now. All the late-night dancing, the missed classes.”
“It’s not what you think.”
She rolls her eyes, her shoulder dramatically brushing mine as she walks past. Benson gives me an apologetic smile as he follows. I can’t stand her being mad at me, so I run after her, grabbing her arm. “Aspen, I’m sorry, just listen, let me explain!”
“Save it!” she screams. “Don’t you remember what it was like?
How he would manipulate you? How you would swear that you were fine?
How every single day and night would need to revolve around him?
Never knowing what version of him you were going to get.
The constant anxiety. Lying to your parents? Because I remember, Cori!”
“I know,” I whisper, the memory of the past year flooding in. Every mess up, every time I cried. I told her the last time was the last time. I swore I’d never go back.
The only excuse I have is how stupid I am for Kane Weston.
I find myself hanging on his every word, even when I know damn well it’s nothing but lies.
We had to keep our relationship a secret for months because my dad flipped when he found out we were hanging out.
Kane didn’t back off, though, because he didn’t care.
Neither did I. His age wasn’t a problem for us, other than Kane was in college and I was still stuck at Brooks wondering who was in his dorm 24-7.
My dad didn’t like it, though. He didn’t think his intentions were good, and he especially didn’t like that I was fifteen and he was nineteen.
He’d even threatened him with the police.
The truth is that Kane Weston should’ve come wrapped in a warning label. You know something like: proceed with extreme caution, keep away from Corinne Clark, red flags could be mistaken for butterflies and may cause severe or worsening depression.
Aspen was right, though. I’d been a mess more times than either of us could count.
Still, after everything, I’d go to hell and back with him as long as he was holding my hand.
It was worse than an addiction, and I couldn’t quit.
I didn’t even want to try. I kept following him deeper and deeper into the grave he was digging for himself.
Knowing he was taking me with him, I just didn’t care.
So I lie.
“It’s not Kane,” I blurt. “I… I met someone.”
I swear I see an actual twinkle in her eye, solely because it isn’t Kane. “What! Why didn’t you tell me!?”
“It’s just… it’s new, and I didn’t want you to get any ideas. I know how you are.”
She laughs, grabbing me, “It’s not like I’d give him the ‘can you date my best friend quiz’ the first time I meet him.”
I sigh, “I know. I’m sorry I lied to you. I just wasn’t ready to share him yet.”
PRESENT
Twenty-four hours later, she was gone. That lie turned into another, which turned into one huge misunderstanding.
That lie cost me my best friend.
The following day, I woke up and Aspen had already left our dorm. My phone had thousands of notifications, and several texts from Zander, Aspen’s boyfriend.
I clicked the video posted by Zander’s account and felt sick.
The video was in the bonus room at Zander’s house, caught by a camera I didn’t even know was there.
I was absolutely mortified that I was filmed, and I can still remember how my heart sank when I noticed that Kane was wearing Zander’s jacket.
From the back, they looked nearly identical.
They were brothers, after all. The lighting in the video was horrible, and if I hadn’t known better, I would’ve thought it was Zander too.
It wasn’t.
I had just lied to Aspen the night before. And throw all the problems Aspen and Zander were having on top of that, it looked bad. Really bad.
I should’ve gone to Aspen first, but I was fixated on getting the video taken down as fast as possible.
The only thing that seemed to occupy my mind at the time was to save Kane.
It was the first thing I did, every single time.
No matter what dark road he was headed down, I’d make an excuse for him.
If anyone found out that Kane was in the video, he would’ve gone to jail.
So I went to Zander, and we managed to get the video down.
We have no idea how the video was even posted to his account.
He swore he didn’t do it, and I believe him.
He wouldn’t want to get Kane in trouble or make himself look bad, and I know Kane didn’t, but who?
Not to mention how pissed I was that Kane was nowhere to be found. There was a sex tape floating around of us, and he was MIA when I needed him.
I didn’t make it to Aspen’s house in time, and what happened after that was just a horrible mixture of blood and tears.
I feel the wetness on my cheek and realize the memory made me cry. I miss her so much. She’d been my best friend since we were little, and we did everything together.
When she started dating Zander, I remember feeling a little like the third wheel. They were so crazy about each other that any free time they had was spent together. When I met Kane at a party that Zander had for his birthday, the rest was history.
Aunt Lauren walks in, situating herself at the foot of the bed. Ignoring my tears, which I’m thankful for. She’s terrible at the mom thing anyway.
“I know it’s still a couple of weeks away, but Jovie and I are going shopping tomorrow for homecoming dresses. You should come with us.”
I sigh. That’s the absolute last thing I’m gonna do.
“I’m not sure if I’m even going to homecoming. I’ll have Mom send a dress down from home if I do. There are three or four in my closet that no one here has ever seen.”
“Have you not asked anyone?” she gasps. “You realize you are running out of time, right?”
I can’t help but be super annoyed by her. “It’s just a stupid dance. Seems a little irrelevant with everything else I have going on, don’t you think?”
She stands up, completely ignoring me and the situation. “If you’re going to ask someone, you better get on it.”
“Why is Jovie getting a dress? I don’t think she’s asked anyone to go with her.”
Lauren waves me off like it’s no big deal, “Oh, Jovie is going with Nash. They always do these things together.”
“They do?” I question.
She scoffs, “Of course they do. They are dating and all. They are so cute together too, don’t you think?”
I laugh, “Yeah, if walking red flags are your thing, sure.”
Lauren sighs, placing her hand on my arm, “I wish you and Jovie could get along. It would be so much better for all of us if you two weren’t at each other’s throats all the time.”
“She hates me, and she always has,” I remind her.
“This is all new for her too. Just give her some time to adjust. Y’all will find a way to co-exist.”
I nod, not wanting to take the conversation any further. Jovie is her daughter, after all. Her loyalty will always lie with her. There is no way to convince her that Jovie is a snake. A shark. Whatever.
“Oh!” She stops before reaching the door, “Jovie told your mom about how you didn’t wanna bother them with having your car brought down. You should’ve said something! Anyway, they had a delivery service drop it off. It’s in the garage. Same curfew as before.”
She walks out the door, leaving me there gaping like a fool. I turn and scream into my pillow, trying to refrain from going into Jovie’s room to strangle her.