Chapter 18 #2
Dani came up over her. She kissed down the long line of Roxy's spine, slow, each vertebra, and felt her shudder under her mouth. Roxy pushed back against her and said her name low into the pillow, please, and Dani worked down her back with her mouth until she reached the cleft of her ass.
She didn’t stop there.
She worked lower with her tongue, her tongue running long and slow up the crack of Roxy’s ass over her anus, enjoying the new sensations.
Dani had never done this before, but she knew as soon as Roxy had asked that of course she would. She would worship any part of Roxy’s body that she asked for and this was no different.
Dani went to work with her tongue and mouth on Roxy’s anus, her hands holding Roxy’s cheeks apart to allow her access.
Roxy’s moans came loud and different than anything Dani had yet heard from her.
Deep and intense and Dani lost herself in the giving to Roxy.
It felt instinctive, licking her like this, worshipping her with her mouth.
She made out with Roxy’s ass as though it was her mouth and she enjoyed every second of it.
She enjoyed the way Roxy moved her hips, pressing back into her mouth, desperate for every touch of it.
When Dani pressed her tongue into Roxy’s anus and felt it open for her there was a moan deeper and more guttural than any before.
Dani knew she was going to put her fingers inside Roxy’s ass and fuck her that way and the thought of it turned her on like mad.
There was lube in the bedside table so Dani came up for air and reached for it.
“Is this ok?” she asked Roxy as she did, knowing that Roxy knew what she was asking.
Roxy nodded against the pillow, her hair a lovely tangled mess. “Please. I want it so much. I want to feel your fingers deep inside me. There. In my ass.”
Dani coated her fingers and Roxy’s anus in the lube and began to run her fingers around the rim of her, teasing at her entrance. She began the slow process of inserting a finger, so careful as she did so, watching Roxy’s reaction, not wanting to hurt her.
She felt Roxy’s body open to take her in and she felt her finger go all the way inside and she enjoyed Roxy’s satisfied moan as she did so. She began to move her finger slowly inside Roxy’s ass, slow and deep, in and out, Roxy’s hips moving in response to her.
“Can you… Another finger… please..” Roxy murmured into the pillow.
Dani nodded although knew Roxy wouldn’t see the nodding. She applied more lube and worked through the same slow process as she pulled her finger out and replaced it with two fingers, working slowly inside Roxy. Roxy was relaxed and open to her and her fingers slid in easily to their full depth.
“Oh, my god. You feel amazing.” Roxy gasped. “This is incredible.”
Dani noticed Roxy’s right hand reaching underneath her body to touch her clit as her hips rolled and Dani began to fuck her ass with two fingers slow and deep.
Roxy's whole body locked and shuddered, and a sound came out of her that Dani had never pulled from her before, raw, undone.
Roxy kept her hand working her clit as Dani fucked her anally slow and deep.
She laid herself down along Roxy's back and set her mouth at the nape of her neck, all of her covering all of her now, no distance left anywhere.
Roxy reached back with her left hand and gripped her thigh while she rode her right hand, biting down on the pillow as she did so.
Roxy came around her fingers shaking and gasping crying out loudly as she did so.
Dani held her through every aftershock staying with her fingers deep inside her and her face buried in her hair.
Roxy had tears in her eyes and Dani kissed them away holding her tightly, never wanting to let go.
After, they lay tangled and wrecked in the dark, and Roxy was already half asleep, boneless, her back against Dani's chest and Dani's arm heavy over her, and she murmured something about never flying private again if this was what coach got her, and Dani huffed a laugh into her shoulder and held her closer.
The kettle had gone cold on the stove, the boil they'd never come back to.
Dani lay in the dark with the warm weight of her gone heavy and slow with sleep, and felt days of distance close down to nothing.
She lay there in the warm dark and turned the night over slowly, as she always did.
There'd been a time, not even three months gone, when she couldn't have done what they'd just done, couldn't have let anyone behind her like that, couldn't have put her own body that fully into someone else's hands without a wall up somewhere, watching the exits.
Sex for seven years had been a thing she managed, kept at arm's length, performed competently and then left.
And tonight she'd laced her fingers through Roxy's and laid herself down along the whole length of her with nothing held back anywhere, and it hadn't cost her anything, hadn't set off a single alarm, because the body in her arms belonged to the one person who'd never once tried to take a piece of her she hadn't offered.
It wasn't the acts that had undone her tonight; it was the safety underneath them.
She pressed her face into the back of Roxy's neck and breathed her in and felt, for the first time in seven years, entirely where she belonged.
She woke at five out of habit, as she always did, and for once she didn't get up.
Roxy was a warm dead weight against her, deep under, as she only went when Dani was there, and Dani lay in the gray hour with her arm gone numb beneath her and didn't move it, didn't want it back, watched the light come up slow across the ceiling and thought about Frankie.
Frankie, who'd warned her in a parking garage months ago that this kind of thing ate people alive.
Frankie, who'd handed her a Gatorade and said I know, and I won't tell anyone, and kept that promise without ever once making Dani explain.
Frankie, who Dani had lied to- Detroit, my mom's garden, and the lie had sat in her since like a swallowed stone.
She was done lying to Frankie. That was the decision, arriving quietly as her real decisions always did, fully formed, in the dark, with Roxy's heartbeat under her hand.
She could already picture it, how Frankie would take it.
No big speech, Frankie didn't do speeches any more than Dani did.
She'd go still for a second, and then she'd nod, and she'd say something dry to cut the size of it, well, you don't do anything halfway, and then she'd ask the only question that mattered to her, which was whether Roxy was good to Dani, whether this woman was kind to her under all the fame, and Dani would say yes, and mean it, and that would be that.
Eleven years of trust didn't need more than that.
She'd tell her today. Not everything, not the parts that were only theirs, but the true shape of it, that there was someone, that it was Roxy, that it was real and not a mistake and not a thing that was going to eat her alive but the opposite, the thing that had finally taught her she'd been only half living.
She'd tell Frankie at skate, quietly, in the corner of the gear room where they'd been telling each other things for eleven years, and it would be the first time she'd said it out loud to another living person, and saying it out loud would make it real in a way even London hadn't.
She tightened her arm around Roxy and pressed her mouth to the warm curve of her shoulder and let herself feel, for one whole minute, completely happy and completely safe, a woman who had finally stopped hiding and was about to step out into the light on her own terms, at her own pace, with the person she'd chosen sleeping in her arms.
She had no idea that by the time the sun was fully up, none of it would be hers to choose anymore.