Chapter 45
Chapter
Forty-Five
“Now, in season one we got to see the two of you cook together,” Heidi’s voice rang through Angelica’s ears, but then the question instantly disappeared from her head.
Angelica stood behind a makeshift kitchen counter on a morning show that she hadn’t really wanted to be on and stared at the ingredients in front of her.
She wasn’t a chef. Why in the hell did Josef think this was a good idea?
She tried to follow Hope’s instructions by adding the ingredients when she was supposed to, but she was sure she was failing miserably at the task.
“We did get to cook together.” Hope’s voice was bubbly as usual. “We had a situation in Seattle where all of the staff walked out of the kitchen, and Angelica was kind enough to step in during a pinch. We had an event that couldn’t be cancelled that night.” Hope laughed and so did Heidi.
Angelica tried to push past the fact that they weren’t laughing at her, even though it felt that way. Hope stepped next to her and put a hand on top of hers as she stirred the whisk into whatever concoction they were supposed to be making. She honestly had no idea what the end result was.
“We’re actually making that dish,” Hope said, her voice still light.
Angelica, however, was frozen in place. Because Hope was touching her, and the gentle correction of her touch was more physical connection than she’d had in a long time, and it sent shivers through her spine. She knew what Hope could do with her hands, and she did still want that—desperately.
“Roast duck with an apricot chutney.” Hope beamed.
Angelica glowered. Of course Hope would choose that dish to make today.
She hated filming in Seattle. And of all the hotels that they’d filmed in that was nearly the top of her list for the worst, with Las Vegas actually holding that spot.
She clenched her jaw tightly as she sliced the apricots.
At least she knew what she was making now.
“I imagine you both have seen your fair share of disasters in hotels recently. Can you tell us anything about this upcoming season that we might expect?” Heidi’s voice was light and curious just like Angelica would expect from any daytime talk show host. But it still grated on her nerves.
Actually, it was probably more the fact that she was here instead of at a hotel doing legitimate work that needed her attention. Filming the show? She could do that. Press? She hated it. Hands down hated it.
Angelica put down the knife so she didn’t cut herself. “We spend a lot of this season much like the last, traveling the country. We started in Houston and moved west after that.”
Hope stilled, staring at her briefly before going back to preparing the duck. At least she hadn’t asked or expected Angelica to do that portion of this meal. She did know better than that.
“We went to Houston, Kansas City, Tucson…” Hope trailed off.
“Las Vegas and San Diego,” Angelica finished for her. Their eyes locked as they looked up, Heidi standing awkwardly between them. Angelica cleared her throat and went back to slicing the apricots like she’d been told to do—at least she thought she’d been told that. “It was a whirlwind of a season.”
“I can’t imagine how much time it takes to film a show like yours or how much travel is involved,” Heidi commented, trying to keep the conversation going.
“Both Hope and I are used to traveling.” Angelica lifted her shoulders, again putting the knife down. She wasn’t an expert like Hope, and if she tried to slice and dice without looking, she would absolutely lose a finger in the process.
“You two do seem to have a lot of similarities. Both bosses, both confident in your skills.”
Angelica didn’t feel that right now at all.
“But you seem to have amazing chemistry on the show. How do you two maintain that?”
Angelica’s jaw dropped in shock. She stared at Hope, her cheeks rushing with heat before the cold sweat of reality settled into the pit of her stomach. She put her hand out for Hope, wanting her to answer instead, but then she realized belatedly that Hope wasn’t as good at thinking on her toes.
“We do have a good chemistry. In fact, Hope commented on that when we met the very first time, and it’s part of what kept her on the show.” Angelica went back to slicing the apricots. Seriously, when would she have enough of these things chopped?
“Wait, so were you hired first?” Heidi asked, pointing at Angelica and catching her attention.
“Yes.” Angelica nodded, forcing a smile to her lips.
“There were two or three other chefs that were screen tested with me before Hope showed up and stole the show.” It wasn’t quite the truth, but it was a good spin on it, and the viewers would certainly enjoy it.
They’d done all of the press separately last year, so putting them together this year was quite a challenge for Angelica to avoid the direct questions that were being thrown at her. Especially with Hope in the room.
“Ange scared me the first time I met her,” Hope said, her tone far lighter than Angelica thought it’d be.
“Scared you?” Heidi seemed surprised by that fact.
“Well, yes. You’ve met her. She’s a bit scary at first.” Hope laughed.
Angelica clenched her jaw. The last thing she wanted was to pretend like everything was okay between them, like nothing was going on and nothing had happened to devastate her.
“But she warms up after a while.”
“At least for you she does,” Heidi said with a chuckle. “I’m not so sure about some of those hotel owners and managers.”
“No, not them,” Hope replied.
Angelica kept her chin ducked down. She really didn’t want to be a part of this conversation. She wanted to hide away and pretend that it wasn’t happening, that her entire personality wasn’t being picked apart in an instant on live television with way more viewers than she could comprehend.
“Then again, they’re not worthy of it.” Hope winked in Angelica’s direction.
The social media lesbian army or whatever they wanted to call themselves would run away with that clip and never come back. Angelica sighed internally at it, but she also realized just how useful it’d be in creating hype before the upcoming season dropped.
“You know, Hope has quite a temper as well.” Angelica cocked her head to the side. “She just has better control over hers than I do.”
“Oh, I think we saw some of that in the first season, didn’t we?”
“You did,” Hope answered, but she didn’t seem very happy with that comment.
Still, two could play at this game. If Hope was going to throw Angelica under the bus, then she could do it right back. At this point, they both knew enough about each other to do damage.
“Is this enough apricots?” Angelica asked, hoping to change the topic slightly.
Hope came over, her hands clasped together up by her shoulder as she inspected Angelica’s work. “Yes. It’s perfect. Thank you.”
Hope took the apricots and slid them into the pot that Angelica had stirred earlier. Instead of beginning on the next step, Angelica washed her hands and dried them off. She was done cooking, and unless Hope told her explicitly that she needed to do something else, she wasn’t going to do it.
“Speaking of chemistry on set… Hope, your husband is the primary director, isn’t he?”
“Uh…” Hope paled, her lips parted and quivered. “Uh, yes he is.”
“What was that chemistry like? My husband doesn’t work on the show, but I imagine it can’t be easy to work with your partner every day, especially when on location each week.”
Hope didn’t answer right away. Angelica looked directly at Hope, testing her reaction to that comment.
“It can be difficult, and it can also be incredibly amazing.” Hope bent down, pushing the duck to roast into the oven and pulling out the ones she’d put in before.
“And how was it for you?”
“It was good.” Hope gave Heidi a tight smile.
“I worked primarily with Rex.” Angelica chimed in, trying to save Hope from whatever disaster was going on. “We thought it’d be best that way, but Hope worked with our AD while I worked with Rex.”
“Oh!” Heidi seemed surprised by that.
Angelica looked directly at Hope, who still seemed to be gathering her bearings. “Rex is brilliant when it comes to directing. He not only knows how to capture the drama, but he also seems to have a sixth sense when something big is about to go down, so he knows to be there for it.”
She wasn’t going to let Hope drown in this one, not if she could avoid it.
“But when you’re talking about the show, Rex really only worked with me on it.
” Angelica gave Heidi a stunning smile, one she’d practiced and knew would win her over in the end.
“And it was an absolute pleasure to work with them. The Lawrence-Daystrong family is a tight family, and I loved getting to know every part of it.” Angelica left it at that.
Hope would understand what she was saying, but she really didn’t want to bring Eva into this.
“So tell us what we’ve made.”
Hope launched into an explanation of the dish and how it seemed complicated but was actually rather easy.
Angelica held her tongue and kept quiet through all of it.
They weren’t here for her. They were here for Hope and her culinary skills.
That was something she’d known for two seasons now, and she was going to have to keep that in the forefront of her mind going forward.
When they finished with filming, they walked back to the green room after taking off their microphones and went to collect their belongings.
They said nothing to each other. Hope and Angelica were as much strangers now as they had been that first day when they’d been standing in Wade’s studio for press photos.
Angelica snagged her phone to check her messages and stopped when there was a knock on the door. Hope turned around to face it, curious. She glanced at Angelica before she pulled it open and stopped.
“Hope Lawrence?” the young man asked as he stood just on the other side of the door.
Anyone from production for the talk show should have known it was Hope in there. They wouldn’t be asking those questions. Angelica was about to step forward and intervene when Hope answered.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
The man held his hand out with a white envelope in it. “You’ve been served.”
“Oh.” Hope sighed heavily, taking the papers from him. Her shoulders curled tightly as dejection hit her.
Angelica wanted nothing more than to know exactly what was going on right now. But she didn’t have a right to that information anymore. She didn’t have Hope’s trust to hear all about her problems. And that stung more than anything.
Hope shut the door and stared down at the papers in her hand. She was so pale. Angelica wanted to reach out and hold her, comfort her. But at the same time, there was a wall between them that she couldn’t break down. Because she needed it to be there, for herself.
“Did you know?” Hope asked, her voice shaky.
“Did I know what?” Angelica stepped closer, keeping her voice soft. She didn’t want to scare Hope off. In fact, she knew this was going to be difficult for her. Because she could take a wild guess as to what those papers were.
“Did you know he was divorcing me?”
Angelica’s heart broke again. Hope had left her for Rex.
Hope had chosen Rex over her and then she hadn’t gotten what she wanted.
That choice had been taken away from her.
Angelica swallowed hard, thinking back on all the questioning moments she’d had, when she’d wondered if that was the direction Rex was going to go.
“Not for certain, no.” Angelica whispered the words, trying to pretend that maybe this one time she had been wrong.
“You knew?” Hope’s voice crackled with pain.
Angelica tensed. “I didn’t know for sure. He never said anything. It was just little things here and there that I picked up on. Hope, you have to believe me.”
“No. No, I don’t.” Hope grabbed her jacket and squeezed it hard in her fist. “I don’t have to believe you at all.”
“I didn’t know for certain.”
“Fuck you.” Hope shook with her anger. “Just fuck off and get the hell out of my life.”
She charged out of the room.
Angelica stood there in the wake of Hope storming away.
She sat down heavily on the couch against the far wall and breathed slowly.
She couldn’t be blamed for this, could she?
It wasn’t her fault if she was aware enough and smart enough to figure out what Rex had been planning all along. She just was. It was a fact.
It’d make filming next season a beast. But they only had one more season under their contracts, and then they could part ways like nothing had ever happened. Angelica brushed her fingers through her hair and blinked slowly.
What the hell was she doing?
That wall? Yeah, it wasn’t there. She needed one. She needed to protect herself against whatever the hell this was. She needed to stop playing the confidante to Hope’s messed-up and fucked-up life. Because it was only that way because of the decisions that she’d made.
Angelica breathed slowly, keeping herself together. Press this summer was going to be awful. She should try to change as much of it as she could, but there were some things that she couldn’t get out of. Licking her lips, she straightened her back.
She could do this. She could harden herself against Hope’s influences. She could prepare herself for the inevitable. She’d been in this situation before, and she knew exactly what to expect now, didn’t she?
Pain.
Hurt.
Awkwardness.
The wild card had always been Hope. Angelica hadn’t lied when she said they’d needed a hard break from each other. Their sneaking around hadn’t ended yet. And Angelica needed it to. She needed to find the separation and learn to live without Hope in her life like that.
It’d be hard.
But it was what would be best for both of them.
Sighing heavily, Angelica picked up her things and left the studio. Her heart hurt, but she wouldn’t let anyone know. She was the scorned woman, the home wrecker. Hope had told her time and time again that she wasn’t worth it.
It was time that she actually believed it.